Male and Female Imponderables--The course of true love never did run smooth by Tristan

For me I am not a jealous person. I figure we each take our own path and if there is love, there should be trust:)
My husband's not normally jealous, but he can get jealous of my students and the time I spend on them...especially my favorite student ( who has since moved to California, but we still keep in contact)When he first moved he had no friends and we spoke sometimes for hours and it bothered my husband a lot, but over time the student has made friends and doesn't need me as his crutch just as a friend. So it all worked out.

EDIT- and speak of the devil ...my student sent me a text message ( I accidentally left my phone in my purse last night) it says "Wake up...I've been up since 6:30" he's such a funny kid. I really enjoy his company/conversation

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 6:42 AM

Morning Tristan,

Jealousy can be a very ugly thing. My SO and i are pretty much beyond that stuff, but i remember the dating thing before marriage. I was used once by a girl to make her other boyfriend jealous - i was totally unaware of their situation at the time, but it almost came to a nasty fight. I carried some resentment for women who would do that kind of thing for a while.

As far as my SO... the thing is, even though i work for myself and stay at home mostly, i do have a small office in town that i hang around a lot - (mainly for better internet service)... and she sometimes accusses me of flirting with the ladys around town.. and i probably do a little - but really she is not jealous - i think she just says that to boost my ego....

"endeavor to persevere..." Chief Dan George as Lone Waite, Indian chief

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 6:49 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE

Morning

I'm still at the dating stage, so I don't tend to get jealous. And if a guy does something to try and make me jealous it tends to backfire, as I hate those kind of mind games and swiftly break up with him. I'm a simple girl.

Dayve - being used to make another boyfriend jealous is so very beyond acceptable. You have every right to be resentful. Heck, you have every right to egg her car! Okay, maybe not that last bit ... but you can daydream about doing it.

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 6:52 AM

DTH - that was long ago, and far away - i hope those two finally hooked up - they deseved each other.
These days I feel no resentment towards women whatsoever...

"endeavor to persevere..." Chief Dan George as Lone Waite, Indian chief

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 6:53 AM

LYSANDER

I try not to make my wife jealous but sometimes I will be talking to someone and she gets weird about it. It's because I work with a lot of attractive women when I perform. I would never do anything and she knows that, but she gets uncomfortable. I'm constantly having to tell her that she is my wife and they are my acting partners.
I sometimes get jealous of the time she spends with her teaching. She stays at school until 5 or 6 in the evening, so by the time she gets home, we eat, she grades, and then goes to sleep. She even spends a lot of time working on the weekends. I try not to get jealous because she is trying to help as many kids as she can, but sometimes it seems that I'm left to the side.

Tristan - Nice to see you stealing my line for the title of the thread.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me?
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 7:05 AM

Lysander you and my husband should get together and commiserate...He feels the same way about my students and all the time I spend:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 7:09 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE

Maybe you can set up a teacher widow/widowers club?

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 7:12 AM

Eh, jealousy.... I've done some of that, but never openly. Always irks me a little inside talking to friends of mine (predominantly female) that have boyfriends... we'll be talking, then boyfriend (whom are for the most part my friends anyways...) walks up, and my conversation lies either forgotten or distracted. I'm happy that they're happy, really, and most couples i think of I really do like both of the folk involved, it's just... I dunno, depressing.

Bosses? Never had any at this stage, just directors, and they've always been female. Some really good (don't need to prove anything, got a lot to offer), some not as much (bad organization sorts of things...).

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 7:17 AM

I'm eternally single so dont really have anything relevant to say about jealousy other than playing games with someone's heart is bad news.

***************
"My feelings are changeable but intense" Anya (season 7 Buffy)

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 7:31 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Whitefall:
Ugh, proposals... I hate the idea of them, because for one thing, i dont want to do them because it seems chauvanistic and rude: i'd either wait to long, or much much worse, propose early and force someone into a relationship. (Not force exactly, but force them to make a descision on the matter when not necessarily ready...)

Okay Whitefall, I had to go back and grab this for comment. If you are at the point of asking someone to marry you, you hopefully know them well enough, and have discussed marriage enough that it's not a huge surprise. You should also have a pretty good idea what the answer is going to be. The manner in which you propose should be the surprise, not that you are ready to spend the rest of your life with the person. There is nothing chauvanistic or rude about that. At least that's my take.

Hollywood gives us these ideas of 'shock and awe' proposals. Ambush the woman and she'll say yes. But IMHO, a couple that is ready to take that next step into marriage has already discussed marriage, kids, the future in detail.

PR: you mentioned something abut being able to dissolve non-legal unions easier than a marriage. I disagree. If there are no kids involved, you certainly could. In those cases it's just about remembering what was mine and what was your's (way oversimplifying here b/c splitting assets can be as hard in non-legal unions). If there are kids, the dissolution can be just as complex...and damaging to the wee ones...as divorce.

***************
"My feelings are changeable but intense" Anya (season 7 Buffy)

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 7:36 AM

...what i said about women using a man to make another man jealous... i'm not saying that's the only way it works - i'm sure it cuts both ways...

"endeavor to persevere..." Chief Dan George as Lone Waite, Indian chief

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 7:37 AM

TRISTAN

Lysander, thought you would appreciate the line! Thanks for noticing!

One the proposal issue again...I do agree that you should talk about it before doing it, but the actual popping of the question can still be an ambush. Mine was, and it was fun!

Thank you all for answering. Good discussion.

______________________________________

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 7:44 AM

Mine was of the long discussion format but it was still a great proposal and very romantic...I know a friend whose husband literally walked in the room, tossed a ring box to her and said " so you wanna?"
Luckily they understand each other and she was fine with that and thought it was the worst proposal I had ever heard of except for the weirdest one...my husband's friend asked a woman to marry him and she said no. We had set him up on a consolation blind date when he canceled saying he was engaged. Turned out the girl had seen her friend flashing a ring and getting a lot of attention so she piped up that she was engaged too ( to get attention). So the she called our friend and told him they were getting married ( surprise surprise that marriage didn't last)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 7:45 AM

Morning everyone!

On bosses, I haven't had a female boss since I moved from the "get any job in the industry you possibly can" into the career I wanted. Only about 10% of the people in my field are women, so you're lucky if you have even one other woman on the team with you. The women I worked with when I was trying to get out of support and into development really, really didn't like me. I don't get along with women very well anyway, and women who knew that I was just there as a stepping stone to somewhere else really despised me. Especially since, four and five years after I had those jobs, they are all still there.

Now that I'm in development and not support, I would like the chance to work with or for a woman once in awhile. I luves my guys, but the women I've met in my industry are so cool, I'd love to have a chance to work with them. I'm pretty happy at my job, but maybe someday.

On jealousy, I've made SOs jealous in the past, usually subconsciously intentionally, if that makes sense. I go out of my way not to make hubby jealous though (I mentioned a few threads back -- he and I both have fairly short tempers, heheh). I've been caught up in the green eyed monster myself a few times, though never over something he did on purpose. Early in our relationship, girls he knew (but hadn't dated or anything) would come up to him and hug him, etc. I gave a few of them what hubby calls "the Glare of Death" and that stopped pretty quickly.

See, we were working at the same company when we met, and he'd been the cute flirt for quite awhile before I showed up. So it took a few months of us being together for all the girls to figure out that he was really, officially "off the market", lol.

On proposals, we'd had the discussion before he popped the question, and I had basically let him know that I was ready whenever he was. He was a bit worried about it, I think, having been married and divorced once before, but when my dad sat him down and asked him some of the tough questions -- do you want to spend your life with my daughter? are you happy with her? etc -- I think it was the final shove he needed to make the decision. (Hubby and Dad were working together when hubby and I met, so they've always gotten along really well. Neither has ever told me that there was any bullying in that conversation, lol.) So he knew I'd say yes -- he just wanted to surprise me with the ring, and wanted to ask in a place he knew would be special to me.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 7:47 AM

GED

Good afternoon browncoats!

On jealousy - I can be jealous at times when I feel like my SO is spending more time with someone else than with me. If it's just a friend, it's no big deal, but if it's a friend who I know wants to be more than friends, then well... As far as spending time doing something else, my last ex played WoW more than she hung out with me. I was extremely jealous of that, as it told me that she valued a game more than spending time with me.

On proposals - I have a very special one planned (still workin' the details)... now to find someone to pop the question to...

EDIT - My best friend had an awesome proposal plan for his wife. He made her breakfast and then left a note for her which told her to go to a location. At each location, she received another letter with instructions to go to various special/important places that they've been together. The last location was this garden/arboretum where he finally proposed to her. It was cool. She went to places like the restaraunt where they had their first date and such. The letters were poetic as well. He's a true romantic.

__________________________________________________
This above all, — to thine ownself be true.
http://www.myspace.com/artv

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 7:48 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:

One the proposal issue again...I do agree that you should talk about it before doing it, but the actual popping of the question can still be an ambush. Mine was, and it was fun!

Oh, ambush is good. Don't get me wrong. Much fun to be had there. My college friends where known for some fairly elaborate proposals, but they all knew both parties were both on the same page.

***************
"My feelings are changeable but intense" Anya (season 7 Buffy)

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 7:56 AM

I have a question about marriage or co-habitation. I have examples of both. I’ve known couples who have led normal, happy lives without ever going through the legal procedure of marriage – (my own view of the arrangement...but we do have that certificate - married by a JP at a courhouse), and I’ve been to several beautiful, very elaborate ceremonies where there wasn’t a dry eye in the house and the religious significance could not be denied.

So, just curious, the couples here, did you live together for a period of time before tying the knot or just saved yourself for the big night..?

And, the singles, would you be content to share your life with another person without being married..?

I know this is more or less antiquated stuff I’m talking here, but it may be a valid question.

"endeavor to persevere..." Chief Dan George as Lone Waite, Indian chief

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 8:01 AM

dayve- very valid question. My husband and I lived together for a year. I'm not saying it works for everyone, but it was nice to know what I was getting into first. We also had the big religious cermony and all too ( great pastor) I think it would depend on why you were living with someone. If it's as the next step in your relationship then I think it's great. If it's to test and see if you should get married, then you probably shouldn't get married

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 8:04 AM

TRISTAN

Dayve, good question.
I have been married twice. Obviously, the first one did not work out so well, but it had nothing to do with the co-habitation thing. I lived with my (now) wife before we got married, both with a roommate, and for a short while as just the two of us. Before that, I tried to "live" with SO's I was serious about. I think it's important to know how the other person ticks before deciding to settle down with them. That doesn't mean just having them over for a night or two (with or without sex, although that is an important consideration that is often overlooked), it means living with them for a spell. There were a few SO's I am glad I did that with, or I would have a few more divorces under my belt.
My two cents.

______________________________________

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 8:06 AM

I don't think I would live with someone before getting married. I know that's fairly antiquated, but that could be said about other areas of my life as well.

I KNOW I wouldn't be content co-habitating.

***************
"My feelings are changeable but intense" Anya (season 7 Buffy)

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 8:11 AM

Dayve, we did live together before getting married. We moved in together in July, got engaged in September, and married the next January. Things happened pretty fast, but when we moved in together, we were at the point where I had told him I was ready to get married whenever he was, but there was no indication of how long it would be before he was ready.

I actually made the decision to get on with my life by moving in with him. My parents were really against the whole thing, but I was on a bit of a "I'm going to live my life how I want, even if I end up getting hurt" kick at the time. I decided that I wanted to build a life with my hubby, and no lack of a signed piece of paper was going to stop me. He was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and I wasn't going to wait for a ring to start "the rest of my life".

Thankfully it ended up well. But even if it hadn't, even if I'd had my heart broken, I don't think I would have regretted taking that plunge.

Our ceremony wasn't at all religious. I was pretty undecided about my religious beliefs at the time, and hubby's always been securely agnostic. We had my parents' bishop do the ceremony, simply because I knew him and he was cheaper than the alternatives (Mormon clergy is unpaid), hehe. It was a very small, but nice ceremony. My aunt, who is a coloratura soprano retired opera singer, sang "For Always" (Josh Groban song), and our photographer got some really hideous pictures of me trying really hard not to cry, lol.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 8:40 AM

ZEEK

What about jealously not from a SO but over a friend finding a SO? Along with another question, do you guys feel weird being the third wheel going out with a couple? I don't get it really. I think a couple of my friends are in this situation. Roommates all through college and 2 years since. Now one's in a relationship and the other seems pretty jealous and doesn't like hanging out with them just her and the two of them. I don't mind it at all. It's not like they ignore me if we hang out just the three of us. Thoughts, comments, concerns?

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 8:49 AM

ODDSBODSKINS

being stuck in that one quite alot recently (third wheel) and can really sympathise with people who find it awkward. in fact keep trying to find sympathy myself. problem is i can see why my flatmate drags me along, her SO is leaving in october, going to china to sit on a mountain studying martial arts, and, given that he could be several years, relationship is unlikely to survive it. she'd rather part on good terms then have strife before october, so is going along, but, at the same time, i'm winding up at the cinema and things with them because she's not feeling hugely comfortable with him in exclusively couple-ey situations.

*coughs* rambling a little from the point, but, yeah, am being third wheel alot, and do find it awkward.

sometimes it can be awkward 'cos i make it awkward though (threatening to skelp a friends SO if he didn't get up and dance with her, doesn't make a good first impression of you

)

[/ramble]

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 8:56 AM

It's been a looooong time since I was third wheel (last time was when I went swing dancing with friends in college, and I ended up meeting a really cute, really gifted dancer who was also a third wheel, and he and I had a great old time), but I think it depends on the stage the couple is in. Early in a relationship, they may be too into each other to be any good at hanging out with a third person. But with someone like me who's been married for a few years, when we go out with other people, we aren't worried about sitting right next to each other or cuddling or having our own conversations just the two of us. We tend to have the same group of friends, so we're comfortable just hanging out and talking with one of our friends. I'd have to do a survey to see how everyone else feels about being a third wheel to us though, heh.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 8:57 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
I don't think I would live with someone before getting married. I know that's fairly antiquated

RugBug, for what it's worth, i don't think this is such an old fashioned notion, even today - although (and i don't have any stats on this) i would bet that there are more couples who've lived together for a while before marriage than not.... but i've seen a bit of a change in that trend - I know several young couples who have waited to be married before moving in together. That seems like a hard way to go, but i can see how it could one day stengthen the relationship. It wasn't all that long ago that this was the norm.

I guess what i'm getting at is the fact that as much as we think things change, we realize that life is more of a cycle - (not clear, eh?)... ok, so when i was a young man, i looked at my parents and decided to be different (and what i thought at the time...better) - the next generation comes along and thinks something similar and goes back to more traditional ways. Each generation wants to be unique, but, as i see it, they simply follow the established patterns set down by previous generations, or maybe skip a generation -

for example: a child raised in a strict, traditional household, may decide to live a more open and adventurous life - and someone raised in an atmosphere of complete freedom may feel the need for a more structured environment....

it's the wheel of life - and a source of constant mystery -

-stepping off soapbox-

"endeavor to persevere..." Chief Dan George as Lone Waite, Indian chief

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 9:15 AM

Bah, yeah... third wheel, that's what I meant before. All the folk in relationships I know are nowhere near the "so confident in the relationship that they can be apart in the same room" stage, so... yeah, third wheel. Oh and.... ugh, one of my bestest friends i met in my freshman year, she always told me she had a sort of boyfriend guy in canada, and it never bugged me... now when he visits, urgh, third wheeltasticness... i mean, i like the guy, and i know why she does, but damnit it's awkward. Mostly because, i'm the sort who only gets into friend relationships with women (at this point anyways) and so, when the gals i know have boyfriends, it seems somehow... ungrateful. Like this was my reward for being respectful, or something like that.

Ugh.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 9:26 AM

Quote:
He tossed a ring box at her and said, 'So you wanna?'
Quote:

Did his name happen to be Mal, by any chance?

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 9:37 AM

13 nope, but the similarities made me laugh

3rd wheel- well my husband's friend is often with us when he comes into town and strangely it turns into a thing where it's like having an extra husband. We are all really comfy with each other so for example we went shopping when he got leave last time and without thinking I was rifling through shirts to find one for him and I hand it to him and say her hon try this on..without missing a beat he says " yes dear" turns to my husband and says " sweety will you help me with the buttons" we all broke up laughing

However I've been the uncomfortable 3rd wheel before. I don't much care for it. Best suggestion is try to turn it into a group thing so there's less of that I'm on standy by feeling

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 10:05 AM

MSG: I have a similar relationship with my best friends. He calls me his second wife.

I think 3rd wheel feelings are often the fault of the couple, not the 3rd wheel. I have many friends I'm fine with being around, others, not so much. It usually depends on how "coupley" the couple is. The people I'm comfortable with have tendency to avoid PDA's. Holding hands, sure. But they aren't kissing on each other, whispering to each other, etc. They treat their SO like most other people. Those are couples I like to be around.

***************
"My feelings are changeable but intense" Anya (season 7 Buffy)

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 10:13 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

HEY! 13 Don't be supporting the idea that my Mal?Nathan wants anyone but me!

one of the Forsaken TM

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 11:48 AM

man, can i clear a room, or what....

adios muchachos..... see ya round the water cooler

"endeavor to persevere..." Chief Dan George as Lone Waite, Indian chief

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 11:50 AM

Lol, btw, Tristan... wonderfalls is a canceled TV show, worked on by our own Tim Minear. Anyways, it's about a girl who hears voices, that talk to her through... inanimate objects with faces, like teddy bears. Hence, you should avoid it.

But really, tis a great show, sorta a comedy-drama where firefly was drama-comedy... but still, good stuff. Tho unlike firefly, the pilot aint too good, but it gets way better. (sorry, been rewatching them)

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 12:56 PM

SERYN

I seem to spend most of my social life feeling like a spare part. My trouble is most of my friends throughout my life were serial monogamists - they HAD to be in a relationship. Wheras i was always single 'cept for a few month's here and there. So i seem to always be the one coping with the talkative drunk at parties, sitting on coats while couples dance and setting off home to catch the bus on my own. I've sat at a table in a pub before now with six other people, and not said a word for above an hour. Admittedly, this was with a bunch of self absorbed idiots who i stopped hanging around with as soon as i moved out of the house we shared (perhaps the most talling thing was that two of them had fiancee's, and they wern't the guys they were canoodling with) Christmas i got so sick of it i considered hiring a date.
I currently have 3 lose female friends, and an estranged best friend, my brother and my mother, who are all in relationships. theres no hope for me, and i keep trying to think of the positive thing i was going to say but it's gone. and now i'm really depressed.

crap.

Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 1:03 PM

COPILOT

I'm feeling really lonely these past few days. I've been all alone in a place that last week had about 5 people living in it. My best friend and actual roomate has a new boyfriend and never comes home. Well she did for about 10 minutes yesterday to take a shower. Her timing was actually preety bad because what seems like my only friend her ex stopped by at the same time. Arrrgggg it was akward and then I had to listen to him on the phone vent about her taking their nefew to her new guys house. He says he's creepy. This confuses me because the childs mother lives in a house that constantly has 20 people in it smoking pot and drinking. I don't really understand but maybe I'm not supposed to. I hate being in the middle of this fight but I love them both and bf/roomate isn't around anymore and her ex is kind of turning into my best friend at the moment.

An I carried such a torch

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 1:09 PM

ODDSBODSKINS

think this thread is heading in the direction of needing another thread for the comforting of people

downbeat, but, *comforts all tentatively*

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 1:12 PM

Yeah, it bums me out when all of you are lonely and sad. I just want to reach through the screen and hug you. Wish there was more I could do.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 1:15 PM

SERYN

ok copilot, I think its time to crack open the emergency box - the one over in the corner of the thread. Thats is, the one stuffed to the brim with icecram.

Fancy a spot of virtual comfort eating?

Still trying to think of something positive about eternal third wheelines. I think its where my absolute hatred of being somewhere i'm not wanted comes from.

yeah, if you want to make me the happiest girl in the world, just say something like 'i'm so glad you came' or 'wow, great to see you, i really hoped you would turn up' Otherwise i spend the entire evening paranoid that i really shouldn't be there. Its my one remaining shyness theng - i can walk up and introduce myself, i can (mostly) hold my own in conversation (i still have bad word days, where i can't sentence properly) and i can get along with most anyone and crack jokes and be funny and lively - but if i get the slightest hint that people don't want me around then i have to run away.

Ha, and now i would like to be fitted for my purty white jacket, the one with the extra long sleeves.

I sorry Copilot - didn't mean to steal your thunder, just figured i needed to explain why i'm suddenly so mopey after being so happy.

Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 1:18 PM

SAMEERTIA

copilot,
Get out of the house! Go breathe some fresh air and hang out at a coffee shop.
As for the mess between your friends, take care of yourself. Tell him that you're willing to listen, and that you care how he feels, but that you love them both and refuse to listen to bombastic nonsense.

I've had similar problems with my friends, because I'm just too nice sometimes. I've had to teach them how to get their feelings out without being needlessly hurtful or judgemental. It's not easy, and I feel for you!

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 1:39 PM

bah we all keep stealing each other's thunder... I just watched the end of Wonderfalls, made me all happy in that way (cause minear and his buddies were kind enough to, while not give closure, give a real send-off to the show, for all its 15 eps.) and now i'm all sad again.

Yeah, seryn what you said about people saying "glad you could come", damn I miss that. I went to a friends graduation party a few weeks back, it was awesome because, even tho she had her boyfriend on her arm the whole night, she still made it very clear that she was individually happy to see each person. (not to mention i ended up hugging people i didnt know just cause we all knew the guest of honor, was awesome.) I guess we're insecure in that way.

Here's a little story: back when i first got to my theater-tastic school in my sophomore year, i only knew people i'd known in the 8th grade, bah it was awkward trying to walk into their lives again. Spent most of that first year feeling awkward towards people who used to like me, really annoyed at people who actively didnt like me (they since graduated), and otherwise just bein alone, basically. that summer, however, i got pissed at the world and vowed to make it all better... lost some weight, came back feeling really badass, and it did help, really. And i'm still different, more confident and crap like that. But it doesnt help in the long run.

For all that now i CAN act like i don't care about nuthin' and don't need nobody's permission (thats what we teens call it), i don't WANT to have to act like that, i can be all badass (as much as being a semi-to-not muscular man allows) i still want people to really appreciate my being there. and then of course, when on occassion people actually DO that, i'll sorta brush it off or repress it as an isolated incident.

Bah, we could really use a troll to make fun of us at this point.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 2:00 PM

Ooo, ice cream! Weren't we making up Firefly-themed ice cream flavors the other day? That's always a happy topic.

You know, I think everyone likes to hear "I'm so glad you're here!" every now and then. Last week we went out to karaoke with friends for the first time in nearly 6 months, and several people said how happy they were that we showed up. Kinda caught both hubby and I off guard, but it is really nice to hear -- and I don't think I say it enough. So here goes.

Seryn, I'm really glad you're here! I mean it, it's been awesome getting to know you over the past few weeks. I realize I'm still going through weird phases of over-sharing and mega-lurking, but I enjoyed trying to share some career-ish tips (hope I helped rather than annoyed?), and I've really enjoyed scrolling through your corset topic over in Talk Story. You're obviously quite talented -- I can't wait to see the finished corset! (And *poke*poke*nudge*, take pictures of it, both in process and finished, for a portfolio!) Me and my crappy sewing skills bow down to you! I always enjoy your posts, and, well, thanks for just being here.

And Whitefall, hun, I just want to smother you with all the good vibes I can send from here. You remind me sooooo much of me in high school, and I just want to keep telling you: it gets better, it won't always be like that. For some people, high school is the "best days" of their life, but if you're anything like me, it'll just keep getting better. I think people peak at different times, some people during high school (the football star who never does anything else with his life, etc), and some people not until a whole lot later. I think I'm just *now* starting to peak, in terms of social grace, intelligence, career, even physical appearance -- and I'm 25 and have been in the "working world" for five years now! I'm so much more comfortable in my skin now than I ever could have been in high school. People who peak later tend to be nicer, IMO, because you go through all those years of feeling out of place, so you go out of your way to make sure others don't feel that way.

Anyhow, I just wanted to tell you, your time will come. Keep talking with us all here, many of us have been through it. We're all geeks or nerds on some level, we've all felt uncomfortable in our skin or unsure of who we are.

*Hugs* to you both, I'm glad you're here.

Now lets make up some flavors of ice cream!

~CK

Is that him?
...That's the buffet table.
Well how will we know unless we *question* it?

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 2:04 PM

ELOISA

What would be fun is working out which flavour of ice cream applies to each of the crew, and eating double cones made up of our favourite pairings. I'm sure there's enough flavours in that little freezer to go round...`

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 2:04 PM

ODDSBODSKINS

Quote:
Originally posted by Whitefall:

Bah, we could really use a troll to make fun of us at this point.

i would totally answer that call (the great call of my kind!) but, well, this browncoat, it still feels pretty new, don't wanna go tarnishing it 'til i get a better feel for how much tarnish people'll stand for

i thiiiink, jack daniels and peanut butter icecream ('cos they're all i have in the house, imaginative is i) would be delish

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 2:25 PM

COPILOT

Steal my thunder? No need to apologize. I type stuff out here to make myself feel better. I don't have many people to talk to and you Browncoats never make me feel like a whiney b**ch for having feelings. Thank you all for caring!

Third wheeliness sucks! I understand why you'd be all mopey about it.

An I carried such a torch

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 2:32 PM

To CK:

*looks at Seryn*

*looks back to CK*

*looks at self*

*looks back at seryn...

*looks at CK*....

Well... i'm glad you're here too, CK. Yeah. Um... thanks.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 5:09 PM

OK HUGS and loves to all...Dayve you aren't a thread killer I had to go tutor and to the gym and all...and then hubby wanted to watch Ultraviolet ( which now makes tons more sense and is a much better movie with the 10 min cut added back in)
Anyway, oh and I had to dye my hair...so consequently I haven't been my usual talkative self:)

all of you get out of the house and go do something fun...if you're feeling shy Seryn why not go to the movies by yourself? then you can get snakcs only you want and not have to have any discussion of what to see and spend a few hours being taken out of yourself and then go home and if someone asks say" I was out with friends" ( cause all of us were with you in spirit!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 5:59 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Ah jealousy. I didn't used to get jealous very easily, but there were times that the monster reared its head in my last relationship. He had a lot of female friends, at least one of whom regularly attacked him and had in fact seduced him at one point before we met, so she made me twitchy. Then there was WoW. Really feeling Ged on that one; I hated competing with a game. I mean, c'mon, it's a game. I like playing Mario and everything but it's just a fecking game! And yet there seemed to be many times where it was the center of his world. He talked about it many times until my eyes glazed over. Then he made a friend who played and was also female, and I knew he had a crush on her because he told me, and she moved away but they were still on playing together all the time and they were always talking and flirting and I would say yeah, I was just a tad bit jealous. Before we could work through any of that, though, he had his medical problem and apparently (according to him now) some form of panic response which resulted in the world's worst breakup anyway, so my problem with her became a bit of a moot point.
I think I was pretty justified in that jealousy, though. I think in that time I tried to make him jealous in turn, sadly. Not by flaunting someone at him or anything, but I think I started drooling more than usual over my rock stars and other pretty people, to see if he would respond at all. He did notice. I don't know; it was a very unhealthy end to a pretty good relationship, and it still makes me sad.
I'd have no problem spending my life to someone I wasn't married to, though like my mom before me there may come a time when it needs to be made official for unrelated legal reasons.
Rugbug, I have to contradict the "breakup being damaging to little ones" comment. It is a very good thing my parents aren't together anymore. I would be in a horrible place if they had tried to stay together, because there would always be fighting. It was hard for a little while because I didn't understand, but now I do and I'm glad I have an example of an actually healthy relationship between my mom and stepdad that I can look to.
I also think, if you're going to make it lgaly binding, that you should know you can live with them first. Sometimes people have very incompatible habits that could make co-habitation an excercise in frustration, and you can't know that unless you live with them and experience it first hand.
As I stated last thread, if there was a ceremony outside a courthouse, it would be outside and very personalized and probably extremely Pagan. I want fire.
I have been very jealous in the past when my friends get into a relationship, especially when they already had limited time because it seems to cut the amount I see them in half. I know they've also been jealous of me in the same way (except my current best friend, since hse never knew me outside my relationship. Until recently. And we saw each other quite a bit then since I wasn't constantly with the boy). I have one friend who is just uncomfortable being around couples. She has some issues, and that's all I'll say. Mostly friends haven't minded being around me when I'm with a boy; if I don't want them there I won't invite them and they know that. Same goes for most of them. But there is the thing of, of course, not always wanting someone else there, which cuts into time. I can usually control that jealousy, though, unless it gets all out of hand. I would generally sit next to my boy and be in contact with him, but not to the point of ignoring everyone else.
I always like to hear "glad you came" no matter what the situation.
*stands on her chair*
Hey everyone! I'm really glad you're here! I love you all bunches!

**********************************

**********************************

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 7:11 PM

DANCINGNEKO

*blinks* Dangit, I wake up, go to where work will be, run around and have what passes for a life...and...and...and *waves hand wildly around*...everyone makes a new page and spawns an insane amount of postings!

MsG: I've had good bosses and bad bosses. For me, it didn't seem to matter which gender they were -- the competent ones knew their strengths and used it to their worker's benefit. The not so good ones tended to one extreme or the other -- and it showed.

Of course, a couple of those principals made me so

that I wanted to

.

Teaching: *chuckles* That seems to be a common complaint from my co-workers' spouses. (Unless they're married to another teacher, then...

)

Co-habiting: I wouldn't mind sharing my life with someone that was committed to and whom I was committed to.

Jealousy: The one time I remember being jealous of my SO (now badexampleex2, or BEE2) was when he and one of my "best friends" at the time just completely brushed me off when we were hanging out and they started talking story with each other. Long story short, BEE2 and I don't avoid each other, but when I see him I walk past without saying anything (and let myself believe that he doesn't notice me). "Best friend" is downgraded to "friend" (for more than just that situation -- she had the nerve to blast me when she heard from BEE2 that I had been upset by their behavior, after I had talked with BEE2 and cleared things up).

Third wheel: Sometimes, even with friends who welcome me.

Ice cream? Did someone say ice cream? *digs around* I'll spring for the toppings (hot fudge, strawberry, caramel, marshmallow creme, sprinkles, whipped cream, and sprinkles).

BTW I would imagine Inara would be/would like green tea ice cream. (None of the Baskin-Robins one though....what do they use? Cheap tea?)

...Watching t.v. here, and they just went over the basics for dealing with a tsunami (always good to review): If you feel a big earthquake near the beach and/or see the ocean doing weird things (pulling back farther than normal), DO head for the hills or at least (I say) the fourth floor of the nearest hotel. DO NOT go out to check out the fish (and other ocean critters) flopping around.

Okay...now that I've got that off my chest, all this food talk has me hungry...I'm off to hunt for food.

I'm always glad to see my fellow 'coats around..

That's me, dancingneko

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 7:40 PM