Male and Female Imponderables--Back in the Saddle by Tristan

Firsties!!!!
May I say that after this day finishes, I am going to the gym and then I am doing this

Actually hasn't been a bad first day at all. It's just the first day is always a bit crazy and wild and chaotic and since our scheduling computer seems to have gone mental it's been more of this than usual. I also hate the whole syllabus/intro thing and I like to get to the real teaching part...so hooray for tomorrow!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Monday, August 28, 2006 9:54 AM

oh double posted ickiness...

interesting imponderable Kelkhil- being judged by older/youger siblings achievements or lack thereof?

I will say my little sister has always been gorgeous, organized, and the cleanest kid on the planet ( organized her own closet by age 3)and sometimes it felt a bit like I was not as great, but now that we've grown, I can't imagine life without her:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Monday, August 28, 2006 9:58 AM

ASORTAFAIRYTALE

Okay, I'm thinking that I might join in on this one, so I'll lurk a bit and put in my two cents if need be.

------

We're all just floating...

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Monday, August 28, 2006 9:59 AM

we certainly welcome you!!!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Monday, August 28, 2006 10:00 AM

MSG, a bubble bath sounds like a wonderful idea!

RugBug, when you get over here...let me apologize for my post. Had I actually read the part in parentheses, I would have realized you already excluded me. My excuse is that my brain is missing.

The funny thing is that the CSR's actually do more work...I know, someone else figured that out a long time ago...

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Monday, August 28, 2006 10:01 AM

asortafairytale, you are more than welcome to join us, or just keep reading. We have a lot of fun and some decent, deep discussions at times. We'd love to have your input!

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Monday, August 28, 2006 10:07 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
My excuse is that my brain is missing.

The funny thing is that the CSR's actually do more work...I know, someone else figured that out a long time ago...

Your excuse is you just spent last week in licensing classes. Blech, man are those evil and BOOOOOOORING.

CSRs do all the crap work, Producers have to know how to shmooze. I could never shmooze, even though I have the knowledge. Hate shmoozing. My licensing class teacher kept trying to get me to sell. Said I would be a natural...but I just think it was 'cause he thought I was cute with a good smile. He for certain didn't know that I can't sell a lifeboat to a drowning man...nor do I care to try. But the money aspect certainly sounded good.

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Monday, August 28, 2006 10:12 AM

SAFEAT2ND

Sibling rivalry? Hmmm...

Everything is a competition with my brother. Thing is I'm not competing with him, nor rubbing his nose in anything. I've never considered myself particularily talented in any area. I manage.

I don't consider myself a proud person. I don't gloat about my accoplishments nor do I lord my belongings over anyone. So where does this competition come from?

__________________________________________________
"Stop doing that thing"
"What thing"
"That thing where your mouth moves and noise comes out"

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Monday, August 28, 2006 10:13 AM

Yep, the class was all that and more...add an hour and a half drive both ways in traffice, and you can see why it took a weekend to recover. The good news is that I will be taking my test Friday morning. The bad news is that I will then go back to work for awhile, go home, and then head the opposite direction for D*C... Gonna be a looong day!
I am looking forward to being able to deal with clients in an "official" capacity now, though...I always hated having to get an Agent to help me along.

______________________________________

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Monday, August 28, 2006 10:25 AM

Hey MSG - enjoy that bath! My new house has a small, nasty tub which is really not bathable.

I miss the hot water soaking so!

Funny thing with my older sister - she was a total baddy party girl. No matter how bad I was I could not rival her at all, so I got away with everything! Well, almost.

Isn't it usually the other way around? Everyone I know has the older siblings the goodie ones, and the younger are the crazy deliquents. To varying degrees. Is it like that with y'all?

BTW, I missed the whole PR almost leaving thing. I'm glad you're still here deary!

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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Monday, August 28, 2006 11:11 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by mal4prez:
Everyone I know has the older siblings the goodie ones, and the younger are the crazy deliquents. To varying degrees. Is it like that with y'all?

Oh no. I was the goodie two shoes. Older brother was the strong-willed, hard-headed child. Would do something, even if he knew it was wrong/stupid, just b/c someone told him not to. I can't count the number of times he drove drunk/license-less while carting my junior high self around. soft core drugs, parties, girls.

Me, I suppose I was tough for him to live up with because I did everything right. Good grades (w/o tyring...that really chapped his hide), didn't really party (was too busy working and riding horses). etc. I watched him screw up and then did the opposite. Watched how much he would piss my mother off and then learned to not talk to her the same way (that is, until he moved out...those last three years were tough. Maybe it was my mom....

) But I suffered the consequences b/c of the bro. My mom never trusted me and always judged my actions by what he would've done. He was pretty much of an ass until just recently.

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Monday, August 28, 2006 11:22 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
Oh no. I was the goodie two shoes. Older brother was the strong-willed, hard-headed child. Would do something, even if he knew it was wrong/stupid, just b/c someone told him not to. I can't count the number of times he drove drunk/license-less while carting my junior high self around. soft core drugs, parties, girls.

My goodness - our sibling situs are nearly identical! Except my parents had this attitude that as long as I wasn't doing anything to directly land me in jail, I was a little angel. That must have pissed my sister off too, that I never once got grounded.

Of course, I was pretty boring. TPing houses was about as crazy as I got!

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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Monday, August 28, 2006 11:23 AM

Nice to see ya 'round M4P.

Sibling rivalry. Hmmm. Aside from video games with my little brother and who could burp the loudest with Babysis, can't remember having much. I am trying to catch up with little brother though, (career, beautiful wife, kids).

Got to play Mighty Mouse on my lunch break. Mom's boyfriend ran out of gas. Just happened to run into him. Half hour late gettin' back.

"Here I come to save the day."

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Monday, August 28, 2006 11:25 AM

I was oldest, but we didn't really have any wild kids in my family. Not straight laced or anythng, but no major parites, no serious fighting, no problems with grades or anything...gee we sound like the Osmonds or something.
Rugbug- hmm I think that'd be frustrating. I mean my sibs and I have had occasional differences, but rarely ever fought and now we're really close. I alway feel bad when I can sympathize, but not empathize ( as I've never been there)...side comment : You don't like sales now I can see why you didn't like being a teacher. A good portion of this job is selling yourself( in a good way gutter brains:) to the students, parents, other teachers, and administration. It's still sad to see someone as smart and charming as you leave teaching, but I'm glad you do what makes you happy:)

NV- you are always Mighty Mouse ( you just don't always wear that fetching cape and tights:)

Ok I am so done!! Going to the gym and then home. It's early , I know, but I am out for today:) HUGS to you all.

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Monday, August 28, 2006 11:30 AM

ASORTAFAIRYTALE

Me and my siblings actually get along pretty well. Sometimes we get annoyed at each other, but fights are rather far and few in between. Maybe it's because we are all so close age-wise or something, but most of the time we are just like friends...

------

We're all just floating...

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Monday, August 28, 2006 11:53 AM

AZHEA

I was an only child until age 9. My step father was a real SoB and I was always compared to his son; an over-achieving Eagle Scout with straight A's, but also a bit of a jerk. I kept thinking, why do you want me to be like him?

The marriage didn't last, not with Bill and I always fighting!

*************************************************
I aim to misbehave!

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Monday, August 28, 2006 12:00 PM

RMMC

*joining in for the first time since the original thread*

I was the youngest, and while my folks were careful never to compare us kids, when it came to school, I kinda felt under a bit of pressure due to my sister having done so well before me.

I think some of it had come from having a number of the same teachers that my sister had had and a few did have the expectation that I should do at least as well as she had. Fortunately, they were few and far between and it also helped that with some of the others, they had had my older brother as a student as well.

My brother is not stupid by any means, what he excells in I'm not quite as good at (English and history) but by the same token what I excell at he's hopeless at (math and sciences.) He was the one who most easily got bored in class and was a big nitpicker, so the teachers remembered him as someone who either didn't pay much attention or was too arguementative. I think for those teachers I, having been a bit of a quiet mouse in class, was a bit of a relief.

In retrospect, I realise I did my best in classes where I had a teacher who hadn't had either sibling previously. I don't know if this was an unconscious thing on my part, their part or just a strange concindence.

Of course the rivalry at home was different. I think that had to do with attention. From talking with my brother (easier now that we no longer live in the same house) was that he felt that our father constantly singled him out for misbehaving. I know he got into trouble a lot, but he seems to be forgetting that he got in trouble because he did things he knew would get him into trouble: swearing, fighting with my sister and I and not doing his chores. I think he may have had a bit of the 'middle child' syndrome and just wanted attention from our father, and bad was easier to obtain.

As now we don't have to live in the same place, my brother and I can actually have civilized conversations for a few hours rather than minutes.

So where is all this going? I think, that at the root of all the sibling rivalry, is kids wanting parental/adult attention by being the best in school, home or the worst if the first doesn't work. Parents making sure they spend equal time with all their kids may help alleviate it, but as long as the pull is momy/daddy time, I think it'll always be there to some extent.

'Tis human nature to compare ourselves to others. Using your sibling is the earliest form of this and the one you keep the longest.

Okay, I'll stop my ramblings now.

******
RMMC

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Monday, August 28, 2006 12:03 PM

WASHSYOUNGERSEXIERBR

Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges

Hello everyone!!!

Ive got a brother

Hes older and clever but hes also spawned of pure evil and would sell MY soul for HIS ammusment.

Thats why im the favourite child!! HEHEHE

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Monday, August 28, 2006 12:07 PM

QUIETSERENITY

I actually am in the opposite position...hello, by the way, I'm new to the imponderables.

I was the kid that everyone always compared my younger brother to. I got straight As and all that, never did anything particularly wild (back then) and every day after school, my brother would come home upset, look at me, and say "Whe in the hell can't you screw up once in awhile?" Broke my heart it did. My parents were always very careful not to say "Why can't you be more like your sister?" But the teachers never were.

Even now, we're both adults and there's still a remnant of that. Makes me sad, but my brother gets along better with my husband than he does with me. They're cut from the same cloth those two, and I always feel a little like it's a club I can't join.

Mal: You know, you ain't quite right.
River: It's a popular theory.

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Monday, August 28, 2006 1:13 PM

So I was pondering on something, but what was it?

Oh yeah,

BUMP!

I do because I can.

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Monday, August 28, 2006 1:24 PM

Love the sig NV!

King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa

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Monday, August 28, 2006 1:33 PM

Have a task, if you are willing.

I'd like to see it do a wheelie or maybe have the flaming chain whip lashing about. Got to technical knowledge to do so.

And thanks.

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Monday, August 28, 2006 2:32 PM

RHYIANAN

My older half brother was an unholy terror. You name it, he did it. Drugs, girls, stealing, arson.....ect. My mother was afraid to have me live in the same house with him, my father would claim that he had no son, just me. As a result, I was the miss goody-two-shoes, mostly out of fear that dad would decide to tell people he had no children.

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Monday, August 28, 2006 3:13 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:
Have a task, if you are willing.

I'd like to see it do a wheelie or maybe have the flaming chain whip lashing about. Got no technical knowledge to do so.

And thanks.

King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa

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Monday, August 28, 2006 5:45 PM

WHITEFALL

Wow Penguin! You do good works!

Siblings... well, i have two older sisters, but we havent fought in 5-10 years. I used to be young and stupid, though my sister used to tease anyone and everyone, and I hated her for it. Ugh, she still does that occassionally, and I can never tell, even when I tell her, how hurtful she can be.

But really, my thing is, as true for the last few years, I tend to crave my sister's attention more than my mother's, but then, they give it, so no surprise we get along well. Like, they're my bestest friends ever. Aside from... ya know... my friends.

As for my first day... didnt go too bad, though most of my huge classes werent because of a computer mistake, it's just how big our classes are getting. I have tons of AP classes, which at any moment might all give me enormous assignments, plus I gotta do that college thing. On the bright side, I'm gonna TA for a teacher I met over the summer (because my teachers from last year i either a)have again b)already had for 2 years or c)hate. only one in c), though) who teaches 9th grade regular english that period. Should be interesting, as i've never had 9th english at this school, nor have i ever had a non-honors high school english class. get to see more of the MsG side of life, if i may.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon.

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 12:13 AM

DANCINGNEKO

*wanders into the thread*

Somewhat back from being buried under by all the "fun" stuff...and it's mid-quarter already. *meh* *shakes off real-life 'fun'*

Okay...let's see...

Being put-down/belittled/undermined because of gender or whatever: Yep. Been there, dealt with that. Years ago (when I was dating b

d ex2) I was kind of active in the local internet/isp community -- 'course 'cause of my gender, and because I'm not a "hacker" or '1337,' one of the people that b

d ex2 and I knew tended to "pooh-pooh" what I had to say

....That is until they found out one of my friends was a V.I.P. in the internet community

. *insert halo here* I mean, calling one of my gal-pal's (then) boyfriends by the handle I knew him by, and seeing everyone else who "knew" of him do the whiplash....

Unfortunately, I still was treated like I was an idiot

, even when I knew things that '1337' dude didn't.

Siblings: We're not quite 'night and day' but we'be always been different enough to not have it matter in several ways. 'Course, as the elder of the two of us, I don't know how often we were compared by my former teachers... Nowdays, we aren't the closest, but we get along. (I've always tended to be the more protective one, my younger sibling was the one who was able to avoid getting into incidents with my dad.)
What was more interesting was almost always having a family member at the school I was at... By the time I was in high school, (and my mom started working at the same school) I stopped mentioning it to anyone that I had family on campus. It got to be kind of funny when the year after I graduated, one of the teachers at the school came up to me and scolded me for not telling her that my mom worked there.

(I didn't even have this teacher for any of my classes!

)

....Ugh...One post and it's already bedtime.

*sigh* I get to go to another meeting tomorrow (MsG [and any other US public school teacher]: SES stuff...yay). It looks like when everything finally comes together for the school year, I'll be in the third quarter.

MsG: Sounds like the fun and excitement of the first day. Hopefully your class shrinks down to a managable size (it should, since you said it was an accidental double class). At least it's not almost at standing room only (and still expanding -- I've had that one before) *wince*.

Whitefall, 13, (and anyone else that's starting school soon): Work hard, do your best in school, and try to have fun when you can. Also: don't forget to appreciate your teachers (we're human too!).

*notices a shadow wavering overhead* *looks up to realize that work is about to come crashing in again* Hopefully I'll be able to dig myself out again soon... *holds up a sign: SOS! SEND CHOCOLATES! as the pile starts to topple and bury the Title I person here*

Oooh...imponderable: Why is it that teachers are told to make their lessons/activities much more hands-on/accessable and address more than one learning style, but when we go to workshops and whatnots, it's usually us listening to a lecture (and sometimes a really uninteresting, uninspiring one)? I've never understood that "do as I say, not as I do" bit when dealing with the education "experts." (I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who has to deal with this, right?)

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 1:24 AM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"

Hello all!

After the madness of moving again I am in one spot for 2 months and looking forward to some serious imponderin'

Sibling rivalry - I have 2 younger sisters and as young 'uns I was close (& very similar to) my youngest sister (who's 4 years younger) and very much at odds with my other (middle) sister (who's 2 years younger) It was more a clash of personalities than anything - she is chalk to my cheese (mmmmmmm... cheese!:salivating emote:)and she is highly strung, volitile in her tempratment and during her teen years could be quite violent. I am really laid back, emotional, loyal, diplomatic and dramatic (when I want to be) - I am very tactile - and my 'little sister' is very much like me though a bit more dedicated to study than I was.

To preface our school experiences I must point out that the education system has improved dramatically since I was in it! I was easily bored, over intelligent, imaginative, clever at English, Arts, Humanities, Literature and Drama (surprise, surprise!) - middle sister (hereafter known as ms) was focused, intelligent, quiet, and excelled at Maths, Science, Languages, English & Art. We had little in common, and her increasing resentment of me made it impossible to be close - but I realise now it wasn't easy for her - my teachers were probably frustrated that a student as intelligent as me didn't apply myself and kind of coasted through high school (though these days there would be a greater recognition that I was finding it difficult to have my abilities recognised - I was more often than not accused of cheating, or plagurising, on essays that I did actually put effort into so it was 'easier' to slack off, do a half-hearted effort and get an OK score) She was always being asked if she was as hopeless as me or told she'd better not be disruptive - though she never had been!!

We got along better when living in separate hemispheres as adults and we get along fine - if not all that close - these days.

Both my sisters are wonderful Mum's, wives, caring proffessionals and generally good & loyal friends to their neighbours. So it's me who's on the outer these days...

Phew - that was a bit of a soul-search... been doing a bit of that lately - hope you all don't mind!

NVG - you are awesome and I know you've had a rough time lately - but you really are doing an amazing job! Those kids are so lucky to have you in their lives, and one day they'll realise it if they haven't already! Love your sig. too!!

Penguin - I love your signature also - you are the guru!!

PR... PR...? Are you there? Miss you!

Thanks gorgeous Shiney people! - Magdalena x x x

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 3:09 AM

Morning, all!
Seems I missed a few things...

Sibling rivalry...I have a brother 3 years younger than I, and we did have rivalry up until he got to be the same size as me

. Seriously, though, he and I are best friends, and have been that way for a long time. We moved around alot in our earlier years, so we depended on each other. We are both in different fields, so we don't compete that way...but we still have the occasional contest in something.

QuietSerenity, welcome to the Imponderables! We're glad you decided to pop in!

Penguin, you truly are the master manipulator of sigs and gifs!

Whitefall, when your brain needs a break from studying and classes, we'll be here.

Ok, time for coffee and work...

______________________________________

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 3:34 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Heh, I was watching Firefly. Again. Kinda got all sucked in.
My half-brother doted on me and I always wanted to be just like him. Sometimes he would make me mad and I'd turn into cliche bratty little sister, but mostly we got along, and still do. But when I was five or six he moved out of state to live with his dad; I know there were many good reasons for this now, but it made me very sad. I don't get to see much of him because he stayed on the west coast. I did recently design the cover for his album, though (did I mention he is a very talented indy musician? I is so proud).
We never would have gotten the "Oh, I taught your brother" in school, though, because we have different last names. And we never would have been at the same school since he's a little more than six years older than me. Almost exactly six and a half, actually.
I did get the funniest reaction ever from him when he found out I was straight edge and basically always had been. There was this pause and he said "Why is my little sister so much cooler than me?" It took me a moment to register what he had said. He never got seriously drunk, but I know he has a drink every now and then, moreso when he was younger, and smoked for a very brief period of time. I figured he would be one of the many giving me a hard time about it, and saying I had "never lived". Nope, he thought it was the coolest thing ever. Like I said, dotes on me

I love my brother.
Ok, time to go take the laundry out and try not to get distracted by our shiny show again...

Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace. - Gautama Siddharta

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 4:34 AM

Wow, I guess it's a good thing my brother and I went to different high schools. I never had to deal with people thinking I was a bad student. Bro only suffered from the comparison at home, not school.

Funny thing is, he is more financially successful than I am these days. He's an electrician (did the whole apprentice thing) and does really well. Got the wife who doesn't work, two kids and a nice big ole house. Me? Not so much. And I'm the one who went to college. :shrugs: You never can tell how things are going to work out.

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 4:42 AM

PR..Linkage to your brother's music, please??

King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 4:50 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Quote:
Originally posted by Penguin:
PR..Linkage to your brother's music, please??

http://www.emryshanley.com/
There's some samples available there, and in the very new future the full album should be available on cd baby.

Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace. - Gautama Siddharta

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 4:51 AM

Morning all:) As I mentioned I am very close to my siblings ( despite vast age gap of 6, 8, and 10 years respectively)When they were little I was part mommy, now we're just best friends. Right now we're all in a bit of a decline since baby sis and her husband moved to Missouri for med school ( husband not sis, she's a film school grad)and we all miss her terribly.
I am concerned about all these teachers who are judging a student based on siblings. I will admit to accidentally calling a student by his/her sibling's name ( especially if they looked a lot alike) but each kid should always be treated as a complete individual.

I can't believe I forgot my cell for the second day ( well yesterday I just left it in the car)I left my cell off and at home and I haven't done that in years. First week of school curse strikes again.

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 5:10 AM

This makes me think of an article that came out a month or two ago. Cover story - probably of Time. It was about the influence of siblings, and how they shape us as much or more than our parents do. Interesting - and I can see that being the case in my life.

Have their been new imponderables I missed? It's hard to stay in the loop here! Must back up and look...

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 5:19 AM

GOOD MORNING!

Thank you Mr. Penguin.
You are on the list of Hero's.

He is the Penguin King.
He can do anything.

Gotta catch up now.

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 5:22 AM

King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 5:32 AM

Feller of action and few words.

Thanks Penguin.

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 5:34 AM

My head hurts no little bit. School has begun. Not that I hate it, per se, just the work it requires. I love living with these people... but... there's always the but, right? My but is with my direct roommate. *Sigh* I shan't go into it. But it is imponderable, and it is random.

Party on.

______________________________
I cannot abide useless people.

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 5:43 AM

Agentrusco- that's why we're here...feel free to go into it...start a new imponderable:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 5:45 AM

Morning, AgentRusco!
Roommates are a great Imponderable...they can be a blessing or a bane. Makes you sometimes wish you had a handy Firefly engine running, eh?

______________________________________

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 5:51 AM

It's simply so petty... But since you insist:

My roommate has been my roommate for three years now. She has also had the same boyfriend for that time period. Until now. She broke up with him a week ago after spending the whole summer with a guy from her work. It is a very confusing situation. I have no problem that she broke up with him. I kinda hated him from past events, but the fact that she basically cheated on him doesn't bode well with me. And now, she claims to be taking a break from dating until the end of the semester. However, this guy from her work is over here alla time. I mean ALLA time. When she is here, so is he. I want to talk to her, but I can't, he's always about. They go out to dinner... She buys new skirts... He brings her flowers... It's all very confusing. I have no problem with this lad in general, but the fact that he cheated on his girlfriend doesn't make me very happy for my roomie. I also realize that it isn't really my problem. But I can't really be excluded, cos I live here. I and four others. And all of us are worried and confused. So. Imponderable?

I think it would help if I DID have a nice running engine...

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 5:51 AM

Ponder away, Agentrusco. Bad roommates are hell, I think most of us will share your anguish, pat your back, and say lots of words of empathy!

Not to mention evil plans for roommate punishment.

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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 5:52 AM

so anyway, kinda double postness... i have class. gotta catch up on reading, didn't think i'd ever have a hard time reading. specially Beowulf. guess it's good i've read it afore.

Oh, and by the way. I like my roommate. A great deal. I'm just all confused about it all.

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 6:32 AM

Ah AgentRusco, roomies can be a great joy and utterly evil all in the same day.

I always hate it when my roomies weren't being honest about why they were doing something (or anyone in general, can't stand dishonesty...even subconsciously done). Sounds like your roommate is 'taking a break' so she can date the other guy. She found someone else she's interested in, but jumping from one relationship to the next opens up the possibility that she was cheating...and no one wants to be a cheater. Her "break" is her way of remaining a good person.

I watched a roomie sabotage her three year relationship with a wonderful guy because she had always had a crush on someone else. I'm not sure she even realized what she was doing, but it was awful to watch. And then she'd come to me for sympathy and I just couldn't muster it. She eventually drove him away, but never did get together with the other guy (he and his wife are some of my best friends).

Ah, roomies....

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 6:37 AM

ASORTAFAIRYTALE

I haven't had a roommate before 'cause I'm not in college yet, but I could see how this situation would be bothersome, especially if your roommate is your friend. My opinion is that you just talk to her about it and try to make her see that the situation bothers you.

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We're all just floating...

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 6:41 AM

DEEPGIRL187

Afternoon, everybody.

Regarding sibling rivalry: If you had to designate lables, I suppose my brother would be considered the "bad" sibling. Though in all honesty, we've both had problems. It's just that my brother was usually the one who got into trouble, and had some run-ins with the law. It was almost like we were on opposite sides of the spectrum. My brother acted out a lot (did poorly in school, had bad influences for friends), where I on the other hand directed all my frustration inward (had many problems with depression, hospitalized for suicide attempts). It's a wonder my mother isn't in the loony bin after all we put her through. But she still insists we're the best thing that ever happened to her. Ain't mom's grand?

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"Oooh, synchronizers!"

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 6:42 AM

ZEEK

OK let me just make sure I have the whole story straight. You live together with 5 people. One of the people is this girl who had previously been dating one guy that you don't like too much. This summer she started "fooling around" with new guy that you don't mind too much. After the summer she broke up with first guy. She decided she wasn't in the right state of mind to date someone but she is constantly "fooling around" with new guy at your place. New guy doesn't annoy you personalitywise, but he has some other issues. He previously cheated on one of his girlfriends and you're worried that roommate girl is getting too attached to him and that she's going to get hurt. Right?

If so then I think it's really her call. If she knows that he cheated on one of his girlfriends once then there's probably not much you can tell her that will change her mind. It is possible that she's not too attached to the new guy. Maybe he's just a fling. Overall if she's happy with the situation and has all the information then I'd leave her be.

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 6:44 AM

You have got the story pretty much down pat. One thing though: there are a total of 6 of us. Not that the detail matters in the sceme of things.

Thanks fer all yer input.

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006 6:48 AM