Male and Female Imponderables--Back in the Saddle by Tristan

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Mmmmmmmmm, Sean....

Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace. - Gautama Siddharta

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 3:07 AM

Morning, all!
It's ok, Seryn...I am also shaving for D*C. Granted, it's only my face, but I count that as a male version of primping. Oh, and I still have no idea how females go through the whole waxing thing. I tried something similar to that on certain parts of me, and the agony was indescribable. That and Nair...never again! I really commend those of you that can use that stuff on a regular basis.
Having said that, I also appreciate smooth legs. It is not a necessity of mine, but it is appreciated. That and the two eybrows thing.

And I'm hoping I fit into the cultured portion of the attendees of D*C...I have been warned that it is a world of geekiness, but I am looking forward to it nonetheless...the fact that I am going, and the time and effort put into creating the costume and filling my head with knowledge of our BDH's and their wonderful 'verse...yeah, I'm a geek.

Ok, coffee, and then I shall return.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 3:41 AM

It's interesting that men also feel the need to primp sometimes but I bet it doesn't take you as long to get ready for a special do (not including costume preparation as that can expand to fill as much time as you're willing to put in for either sex!). I usually spend about 2 minutes on my appearance before going out but that can stretch up to 2 hours or more! Not that it makes a great deal of difference!

If I'm in a low self confidence mood then no amount of makeup will make me feel (or look) good.

Does anyone have any little tricks for bursting out of a depressed "I am not fit to be seen" cycle? I'd love to know of any morale boosting excersises that work.

___________________

Hissssssssss!

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 4:22 AM

Emma - I think it'll cheer you up to give up more details about your nudist event.

But really - I've seen your pictures, and you're gorgeous! I don't know any tricks, other than to just keep telling yourself that it'll pass...

Seryn - good to hear from you! And no one else may see your shiny legs, but you will! There's a certain satisfaction to having an evening of beautifying - and this is coming from a woman who didn't shave for three years during grad school! The cult of Cosmo should be thrown down! And yet...

Whitefall - of course you have friends! But I'm glad you got proof of that!

OK, catchup done. Onto my romantic adventures last night... I got a really really fabulous massage (he's going to night school for it) then dinner of turkey soup which sounds kinda blah but was yummm! We also watched sex and the city, which... go him for not getting all "This is a chick show, ewww!"

Then... I told him some of my deep dark secrets, and he didn't run away. Yay! He even said nice things. Very nice things. No official anything, but I feel like we'll be together for a while. *sigh*

*a little jumping up and down*

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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 4:25 AM

Emma, it usually takes me about half an hour in the morning to get completely ready for work, from waking up, showering, dressing, and walking out the door. Takes the wife a little bit longer. Same goes for going out on the town...though I have known the wife to take an hour or more to get ready.
Confidence boosting? You are a beautiful woman, Emma, and you have nothing to worry about. If anyone else has anything negative to say, kick 'em in the shins.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 4:30 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Yay for you, Mal4prez! Yay for you!

And I'm not jealous. Not a bit. And I will refrain from sulking. Really. Watch me refrain.

...

Where did you meet this guy and where can I find one?!?!?!

Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace. - Gautama Siddharta

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 4:36 AM

Mal4Prez, sounds like you had a good night! Yay, you! Keep it up, girl! *jumping up and down*

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 4:39 AM

I'm with you PR, totally glad for Mal4Prez and not the teesniest bit jealouse! I think we've grown as people!

And Tristan? You are a sweet kind man who is good for a girl's ego! I'm just sulking a bit because I've got photos back and I can't find one of me that I like. I'm annoyed with my friend for not finding a tactful way of telling me that my wobbly bits were on display before taking a photo (and not the good kind of wobbly!)

I guess there's always photoshop!

___________________

Hissssssssss!

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 4:40 AM

Excellent job refraining from sulking PR:)
Morning all...I think. Sorry somewhat out of it as I had a teacher meeting at 7 am which required getting up at 5:45 and unfortunately my internal clock only does on the hour so I woke at 5 am...iced mocha is helping some, but oh well.

Seryn- Oh I see you shaved 'cause you're sharing a room with girls ( mind out of gutters all). I know if I were sharing with other girls I'd go the whole 9 yards to get ready and all. Not 'cause they're cruel or anything ( though some are), but because it's sort of expected and you don't want to be the unkempt one in the crew:) You never know, maybe Nathan will take one look at you, be over come, leap the table and beg you to run off with him. Hey get that look off your face, it could happen

Must run to the car now and fetch the children's books. Our first unit in English is going to be reading/ identifying characteristics of, making rubric for, and then writing children's books. For the most part my munchkins are being really good sports and keeping the eye rolling to a minimum( to be fair I am making them sit there while I read them Make Way for Ducklings and Winnie the Pooh)

Emma- ok we've seen your pictures... there were some fab legs, and a great figure so I don't know of which wobbly bits you speak :) HUGS....now what was all this about a neart lesbian encounter???? And how were the lemurs??? ( I have lemur envy)
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 5:10 AM

Can I just add - this is the first time in my whole gorramn life I've dated someone I really like. And I'm 34 for criminysake, it's about time! So don't be too sulky, PR, it was a long icky path to get me here...

Seryn - when Nathan runs off with you, be sure to bring him by to visit. A few successful dates doesn't mean I can't drool over the Captain still!

Yeah, and Emma - I'm not buying that 'wobbly' stuff. Pictures are silly. They don't show the truth! (I've come to believe this because I take terrible pictures!!)

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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 5:15 AM

M4P- hey as long as you get there in the end, it's all good:)As for pictures...pretty much everyone I know agrees that I look much better in person. Somehow pics just highlight the wrong things on me....my sis is the opposite. Not that she isn't stunning ( take 18 years off Meg Ryan right now and you'd pretty much have my sis) but in pics she can do no wrong. She always looks as though she's just had a world famous make-up and hair artist finish with her ( this is also true when we camp and somehow despite 3 days without a shower and dirt on her face she looks adorable) other sis and I have occasionally contemplated smothering her, but we love her too much to do it:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 5:46 AM

SAFEAT2ND

Holy indianapolis 500!! This thread moves faster than I can ever hope to keep up to.

Seryn, I am a fan of a well groomed woman, not overprimped. So, that said, while I don't paticularily care for make-up and nail polish, smooth legs and pits are well appreciated.

I like to be well groomed. Clean shaven, although I like wearing a goatee my wife hates it, but I don't go for manicures or pedicures. But a little cologne goes a long way. Apparently I smell good, up close.

On my mind?
1) Softball
2) Back to school for my girls
3) BBQ & cider
4) Softball

Sorry if it seems callus, but it's summertime.

SO news, my wife and I just hit our 15th wedding anniversary. Been together 20yrs. High school sweethearts (insert aww... here).

And she hit her 90lbs weight loss. She still wants to lose more, but I think she looks fantastic now. Then again, I've always thought she looked fantastic.

__________________________________________________
"Stop doing that thing"
"What thing"
"That thing where your mouth moves and noise comes out"

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 5:57 AM

Way to go for the wife!!! I've lost 78 and I know how f**king hard it is to do. So give her a big high five from us.

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 5:58 AM

Good Morning all.

Keep waking up tired. Staring to bug me.

Catchin' up as usual.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 6:07 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

But... but... but I got used to being with someone I liked!

Well, I thought I liked him. Well, I did like him at the time. Even if I wonder now who it was I was liking.

Aw, damn it all.

I am still very happy for you, darlin! You deserve to date someone you like. Fo' sho'

Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace. - Gautama Siddharta

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 6:13 AM

I'm right with you NV. Right now I think nap time would be a fantastic idea( of course this would require me to be able to nap)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 6:14 AM

Morning, Safe! Congrats on the anniversary! *raises a toast with a flute of champagne*
Here's to 40 more!

Hey, NVG...there's plenty of coffee around here somewhere...

PR, we still hold to the belief that you will find someone!

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 6:29 AM

Yeah, congats Safe. That's amaz-za-zing.

Coffee? Will do.

So, trip to Vegas. GND has a rodeo and asked if I'd go, (1st of the season). So, yeah. I'll see her ride, see my brother, and be gone for a weekend in October. Sounds like my kind of weekend. Really need to get out more. Haven't been out in pretty much a month. But then again there are people I don't want to run into, (or person I do, but it is a fruitless persuit wrought with peril and anguish).

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 6:56 AM

NV- I'm glad you decided to go:) I hope the trip is amazing!!!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 8:29 AM

bump:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 8:30 AM

Stuck in training. FALLING ASLEEP!

HELLLPPP!!!

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 8:34 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE

WAKE UP NVG!!!!!!

Did that help?

More animations available at http://desktophippie.googlepages.com

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 9:01 AM

It woke me up! Thanks, DTHippie, I needed that!

Is it 5 yet? *settles back down to nap*

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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 9:08 AM

NV- try getting out a piece of paper and making top 10 lists...like best superheros, coolest cars, most selfless people, people who should be president, etc... that way you look all busy and attentive and you can while away mass amounts of time in happy speculation

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 9:10 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
NV- try getting out a piece of paper and making top 10 lists...like best superheros, coolest cars, most selfless people, people who should be president, etc... that way you look all busy and attentive and you can while away mass amounts of time in happy speculation

Genius. Pure genius!

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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 9:13 AM

Indeed. Gonna have to utelize it in the future. Back in a minute.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 9:26 AM

Training is generally the best way to overcome insomnia. Also a good way to take your brain functions down to nothing. I'm still recovering from last week...

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 9:57 AM

So ours consisted of this:

Mental health professional showing us what our kids go through in their weekly group sessions. She talks very slow and seemed to keep her attention on me for some wierd reason. I have been running my own dang groups fo five years. Just hate thae feeling of being talked down to. So aside from trying to stay awake, she put us in the spot of the kids. Some of us really got emotional. Tears and such. Understandable. One of the new tech's was widowed a year ago and our youth/family counselor in training was recently married. Glad I got my anguish out last week with the family. I abhor unresolved personal issues within myself.
New tech's husband I'd known since I was a pup. When she mentioned him having his legs back and being without pain, I actually smiled. I am uplifted with the peaceful rest of another person. Gotta be careful with that. Might seem a bit psychotic, smiling amidst anothers painful moment.
Something I learned a very long time ago. Beginnings are fresh. Middles are usually difficult. But the end is important with all things.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 10:57 AM

NV- You are so cutely oblivious. (can't figure out why she was staring/teaching to you) Um duh! You're really hot.

When we did training for running group therapy they had us go through the program. I discovered my family may be the only relatively normal family left on the planet. We all get along and always have. Our parents treat us with love and respect and all of us have graduated college, married, and have great relationships with our spouses, each other, and our parents... Sooo basically we're total freaks:)As you can tell I totally sucked at group therapy. Oh well, you can't be good at everything:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 11:16 AM

Might have been giving a mixed message with my tired eyes. Couldn't help but to keep looking down. I WAS FALLING ASLEEP!

So, I obviously don't get females at all. Becoming comfortable in my celibacy, (GND mentioned to her Mom about my regenerated virginity. Yet another talented individual who can make a dark man blush).

Can't help but feel blubberous lately. Don't really know why. Maybe because I'm fat. Hate the soft middle. Realize that it has less to do with my diet and more to do with stress.

Oh well, at least I'm okay with the rest of me.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 11:38 AM

RUGBUG

Well, I should say hi all. I've been busy today, so....

Actually, I haven't been busy, but I decided that I was going to put a profile on eharmony. Then I saw how much it cost.

And while they got my perfect match...well perfect, (seriously, I was about to propose marriage to the computer screen)...they got me very wrong. What's that say about me? Eesh.

So, I ventured into on-line dating for a brief nano-second...and quickly ran away. (oh, funny thing...Mr. PT is on match.com...heh.)

But anyway, I spent most of my internet time today thinking of exciting ways to describe myself. That really sucked. (and the whole eharmony test made me feel like a bad person. I mean, who wants to choose between being stubborn and unyielding or shy and timid. Blech!)

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 11:40 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:

Emma- ok we've seen your pictures... there were some fab legs, and a great figure so I don't know of which wobbly bits you speak :) HUGS....now what was all this about a neart lesbian encounter???? And how were the lemurs??? ( I have lemur envy)

I promise to tell you all funny and sexy stories about my recent adventures but now I have to collapse into bed. What is with me at the moment? I'm having less long and active days than when I was on holiday but I'm so tired all the time!

___________________

Hissssssssss!

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 11:51 AM

eHarmony huh? Never tried. Probably never will. I just don't see how it could work. Not sayin' that I'm all unique and stuff, but it seems hard enough to connect with folks in the real world who share much of the same views and feelings as myself.

Looking at my last post I realize that my composition is a bit off today. Ment to ramble on over the fact that I really don't understand the workings of the female of the species. Seems to me that many of the females I know are completely comfortable using a guy for love as much as or more than just for sex. Ramble, ramble.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 12:15 PM

COPILOT

Hiya guys! I don't have a lot of time but I wanted to check in. I'm happy and healthier than I think I've ever been! My new home is perfect (well it will be when I finally get a job)! I feel so unbelievably blessed to live in such a beautiful place surrounded by beautiful people! So anyway here's wishing I could share it with the likes of my Browncoat buddies! See some of ya'll in December!
~Love~Copilot~

An I carried such a torch

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 1:27 PM

Big Howdy to Copilot. Very happy to hear from you.
HUGZ.
Hope nothin' but love for ya.

Gotta get going for the day.
Love to y'all.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 2:19 PM

NV- Have a nice night:)

Rugbug- have you tried match.com ( it's better)

Copilot- so good to see you sweety:) So glad you're in a happy place! I can think of no one who deserves it more.

Have a great day/evening imponderables and I will see you all tomorrow:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 2:53 PM

Copilot! We have missed you! Sounds like you are doing well, though. Keep us updated when you can!

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 4:19 PM

WHITEFALL

Yah, Copilot lives! And is happy to boot!

Ugh.

I don't know what's with me at the moment, but while yesterday I was glowing and happy, right at this moment I'm pissed off and sad and I don't know why.

We did a runthrough of the show with our piano girl, (doing just the piano part)... it was like a massacre, made me feel like all our practicing and stuff was for nothing.

The theater teacher (who thankfully isnt directing this show) and my director both said I need more energy. I really am having trouble doing 'laid back and serene' while being energetic. May have to try a new definition of laid back, maybe from 'dont mind' to 'dont let anything bother me'. Dunno. But I hate realizing how bad I am at acting... especially when our lead guy gets complemented over and over for scenes I keep feeling like he was feigning it. Damn the self-righteous, jealous actor in me.

Also, mi madre mentioned a couple of heretical things in terms of the future: taking an SAT class instead of going to strike (but... it's strike!!!), and not doing the next show cause of all this college crap.

Plus I have some homework to do.

Ok, fine, I do know why, but it still seems weird. Darn life.

Sorry for being all negative... again. But this is what I want to write.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 5:15 PM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Copilot!

So happy to see you! And see you happy!

I took eHarmony's test, thought I'd try it for that seven days they offer. Yeah, they kicked me out of the system. Said they didn't feel they could "match" one such as me. Apparently about a fourth of people going there are deemed "unmatchable" and booted. Nice, isn't it? A lot of what they said was accurate, though, in terms of my personality. The theory is that, if they don't think your driving motivation is marriage, they want nothing to do with you.
Shouldn't they be spreading religiosity to the fuzzy-wuzzies or somesuch?
Really, the only questions they had that I might have answered in an "anti-marriage" way were basically "are you Christian" type questions. Blah. Oh well.
Yep, still lookin'. I'm sure I'll find someone someday, just tired of waiting.

*pat pat* There, there, Whitefall. We all have those days. I'd blame your teenagerhood and weird hormonal shifts, but I still have those days. I hope for an upswing in your mood soon!
Don't know if this will matter to your mom, but I never took a prep class, and I did just fine on my SAT and ACT tests. And I was only 16 at the time! The only thing I wished I'd had more practice on was the math; most everything else was a breeze. Even the science. But especially the English and such. Of course, I'm kind of in love with the language, so I may be an anomaly; I was done before anyone else and got a near-perfect score.
Anyway, you're a smart guy. You'll be fine.

Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace. - Gautama Siddharta

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 5:27 PM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE

Quote:
I don't know what's with me at the moment, but while yesterday I was glowing and happy, right at this moment I'm pissed off and sad and I don't know why.

I know what's with you -- you're a perfectly normal teenager!

Honestly, the age you're at right now is undoubtably among the worst for mood swings. Not only are your hormones all over the place, but you're also mentally and emotionally trying to become an adult, while at the same time not being allowed to make your own decisions. You're being forced to decide scary things -- like where you're going to go to college -- but not allowed to make your own decisions about things like whether or not you take the SAT prep class.

It can be a really frustrating and disheartening time, and from what I've seen, you handle it with more grace than most, so don't be too hard on yourself.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 5:46 PM

WHITEFALL

Wow. I dunno what to say, that's exactly the answer I didn't want, but I do know exactly why you said it, and reading my post I did ask for it.

I hate this concept that because of my precise age, I am less human, my feelings have less meaning, I'm not me. I know that isn't what you guys mean, but I draw that conclusion. You guys might just be correct, but I guess I don't have to like it.

Ugh. No, if you guys are wondering, I'm not glowingly positive very often. Sorry. But as I was saying above, the fact that you guys let me rant negatively all the time, well that's part of why I'm here.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 6:05 PM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE

Quote:
I hate this concept that because of my precise age, I am less human, my feelings have less meaning, I'm not me.

Actually, I think it means you're more "human" than you were five years ago. My two youngest siblings are 13 and 16, and the difference between them is remarkable. The older one is a person unto herself. She has all these thoughts and ideas going on, and I can hold a conversation with her like she's an adult. She's one of the coolest and most grounded people I know, which is a bit frightening considering she's 10 to 30 years younger than all the people I hang out with (my hubby is literally old enough to be her father).

But then there's the youngest, who just turned 13. He's a great kid, I love him to pieces, but he's still very much a *kid*. I can talk to him about the things he likes to talk about, but it's not a conversation on the same level as the conversations I can have with the other four of my siblings, or with other adults. I know some day in the next few years, I'm going to go over to my parents' place for Christmas or something, and all of a sudden there will be this *person* in my brother's body. He'll have ideas and opinions and an entire internal landscape that right now is still very much undeveloped (or hidden, I couldn't really say which).

Anyway, I guess my point is that when you're 16 or 17 (I'm guessing that's about how old you are, with all the talk of SAT and college and such), you're in a really weird place in life. By law, you aren't an adult, but mentally, you have a full-fledged adult mind and personality. Your hormones are also all over the place (hormones are always a good thing to blame -- believe me, I blame my hormones for wacky "fun" at least once a month), so in addition to feeling like an adult but not being allowed to act like an adult, your hormones often can't decide which emotion is up.

But most importantly, I don't want you to think that I'm talking down to you at all. I'm really not, and I'm sorry if it ever comes across like that. I think of you as an equal, as an adult with interesting ideas and stories, and as a fellow Browncoat. I have a lot of affection for teenagers, I think both because I'm the sort that never really grew up (I've mentioned my love of video games, right?), and because I went through a really dark time during my late teens, and I hate to see anyone else go through that. One of the bright points in those years was a teacher who I TA'd for who treated me like a fellow adult. That really meant a lot to me, and so as I get further and further away from my teenage years (the gorramn clock just won't stop ticking!), I try to remember what it felt like, the fear and the doubts, but also the feeling that I wished that everyone would just treat me like an adult rather than a child.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 6:50 PM

WHITEFALL

I appreciate that. Really. I'm sorry if I came across as pissed off, which I was, but not at you, just... at... you know, life and stuff.

It's just frustrating. I've got friends, I've got people who see me, who are happy to be close to me, all that stuff... that's what matters to me. And then I've got all this other crap, homework and classwork and colleges. I dunno.

There, confusion. That's something. That's me.

People are interesting. Homework sucks. Simple, but true.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006 9:40 PM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"

Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:
Can anyone else hear what someone is thinking?
Not neccessarily the details. Mostly thought patterns. On the way back from the movies the other night I could hear a rattling coming from GND's head. Kinda like a ball bearing or marble being thrown around a stone room. Asked what the rattling was, (literally). She became very tense and uneasy.
Seems I'd done this before. Caught a woman in thought and shook things up a bit. Feel kinda bad, but can one really read the thoughts of others?
And if so, is it possible to invade a person's privacy accidentally?
Like I said. Ponderifically confused.
]

Hi NVG!

I have a spooky way of suddenly wondering something about a person without any hint that I might be on the right track and when they say something or I ask something that confirms what I was thinking I have a terrible habit of saying "I had wondered" like it was obvious but it really wasn't!

Does this make any sense at all?

Sorry have to keep reading and then I'll do a quick catch up! Magda x x

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Thursday, August 31, 2006 1:14 AM

I know what you mean NVG and Magda. Not that I'm saying I'm psychic or anything. Just intuitive about mood (comes from being really oversensitive to what other people think about me). It usually goes a bit like this.

"You're annoyed at me."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are, I can tell."
"No, really I'm not."
"What have I done to upset you?"
"Nothing, honest."
"Are you sure, I could have sworn I picked up some bad vibes."
"You're being paranoid again. Everything's fine."
"Oh. Okay, I guess I'm being too insecure again..."

Pause

"Well, actually there is something that's been really bugging me for a while now...."

___________________

Hissssssssss!

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Thursday, August 31, 2006 1:27 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Oh dear. Yes, I have that. I don't talk about it because people who don't know me think I'm insane, but y'all know me, so I guess I can talk about it.
I don't always know exactly what someone is feeling, but I tend to know where it's going to lead. Does that make sense? Just as a well-worn example, I knew, months before there were any real indicators, that Ex of Doom and I were, well, doomed. I did not know why, he seemed to be fine, I tried to talk to him about it a few times, he was fine. I tested the waters; yes, he wanted to live with me, yes he still thought I was the most wonderful thing to happen to him, etc. I basically fought tooth and nail to change what I vaguely saw coming, I even really thought I had succeeded until he just stopped talking to me (then I really knew something was wrong, but still could not and cannot tell exactly why) So I can guess feelings from the notions I get about what they will lead to, but I'm not always right about it. I sure wish it was less vague.

Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace. - Gautama Siddharta

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Thursday, August 31, 2006 1:59 AM

Sweetie, I feel for you. Quiet non-communicating types are the worst. It drives me crazy when I know something is wrong and people keep telling me I'm an insecure mess. I'm usually half way to believing them when everything falls apart (which I probably summed up in my last tirade!).

Why can't people just be honest about their feelings? It usually hurts less in the long run. I've had a 'friend' be nice to me for years before I finally wheedled out of her that she didn't feel very close to me and I often really annoyed her. Completely destroyed me. I mean if someone I regarded as a close friend didn't really like me all that much how can I ever feel confidence in a relationship with another person. I had been sure there was a problem but had been accused so many times of being paranoid that I was unprepared for the truth.

Sorry. Still a sore point and probably completely off topic. Still, I'd feel comforted if someone else out there could say that they too have nightmares where your best friends turn around and say that they hate you. Make me feel less disfunctional, please?!

___________________

Hissssssssss!

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Thursday, August 31, 2006 2:36 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

*Pat pat* Oddly enough, last year my relationship with my best friend fell apart. We had been drifting apart for awhile, but I had always done my best to hold it together and so had she. Until a few things happened. I won't say what they were because that's her business, but it all got tangled and suddenly I was the enemy. And I didn't even know it. I didn't know it for a year, until we had a huge blowout fight. I knew something was up, but didn't know it was that bad. It was over something I thought was completely stupid, and it had apparently been festering in her all that time.
And yes, I get nightmares. You think yours are bad, I dream of her driving me off a cliff in a burning car

Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace. - Gautama Siddharta

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Thursday, August 31, 2006 2:52 AM