Male and Female Imponderables--Ballroom Blitz by Tristan

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"

Me! First!...and I promise to behave... *shuffles feet and looks slightly ashamed of herself*

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:05 AM

I just wanted to stop by & say good morning.
Do you think it's too early for an Irish coffee ?

Bryce
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I swallowed a bug.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:07 AM

Magdalena? Behave?!? Heh!

Morning LA29! Irish coffee? Nope, never too early!

So, what are we pondering again?

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:08 AM

Its never too early for Irish anything!

(Especially if it is an Irish woman talking. I love the accent!)

So what should we ponder today?

Kelkhil

The Shirtless Forsaken

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:12 AM

Excellent.I need a strong drink.Anyone care to join me ?

I'm pondering leaving my marriage.Not the happiest of topics.

Bryce
***********************************

I swallowed a bug.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:13 AM

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"

I promise to try...

What about something that has given you the giggles at an inoportune moment - it happened to a friend of mine at a job interview recently and I thought - I wonder if that ever happens to men... giggling with nerves or something?

(see Tristan... behaving...)

Edit: Sorry LittleAlbatross... overlapping posts... *hugs Albatross* I suppose it's good that you can talk about it - these people here are the shiniest and we feel privileged if you want to share or throw something into the mix... 'tis up to you! *hugs LA again*

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:25 AM

KelKhil, I agree with you 100%! I was lucky enough to spend eight days in Dublin around St. Patrick's Day in '98...and I spent the whole time just listening to the people talk...especially the Colleens!

LA29, I am in the process of leaving mine. If you need to talk, you can email me at tristan71@cableone.net. Not sure how much I can help, but as I have been where you are, I might at least be someone to talk to semi-anonymously. I'm here if you need me.

Magdalena, I am very proud of you! You are doing good...so far! I know the evil will come out sooner or later.

Giggling at inopportune times? Oh, yes, indeed, it does happen to men. Um, ok, maybe not giggling per se, but we do find humor in weird things, especially if a friend gets injured doing something stupid. Picture it as the Neanderthals standing around while one plays with fire...

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:28 AM

Thanks Magdalena, hugs are sorely needed these days. I really appreciate it.The shiny way I'm welcomed here makes me feel that there's hope yet.
And the Irish coffee doesn't hurt either.

Bryce
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I swallowed a bug.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:31 AM

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"

Irish coffee never hurts and hugs are the best thing in the world when friends are hurting. I'm so glad you knew you could come here and find both - hugs and coffee - and any number of shiney browncoats from your FFF.net family. *hugs LA again*

- let us know how we can help!

Love you - Magda x x

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:34 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Kelkhil:
Its never too early for Irish anything!
(Especially if it is an Irish woman talking. I love the accent!)

So what should we ponder today?

Kelkhil

The Shirtless Forsaken

I'm prepared to ponder anything you like in my genuine, 100% real Irish accent

Oooh! Coffee! Is there such a thing as Irish Mocha? No? *invents Irish Mocha and promptly drinks it* Mmmmmmm

More animations available at http://desktophippie.googlepages.com

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:35 AM

But lets not forget a good Australian (SP) accent either! (Magdalena

)

As far as the question. I agree with Tristan. Yes us men do it but it mostly involves pain on someone elses part. Other peoples pain is funny

. As long as it is no a real serious injury that is.

Kelkhil

The Shirtless Forsaken

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:35 AM

ZEEK

Awwww that doesn't sound like a fun time LittleAlbatross. Is there any specific reason you're thinking about ending it? It's cool if you don't really want to talk about it here.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:38 AM

Just keep being your shiny self .It's the best help right now. I'm very isolated here & having a safe place to go to is a so needed.I'm actually smiling now,knowing that you care ,even though we've never met.

And Tristan , I might just take you up on your offer to talk.You are the sweetest.

Bryce
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I swallowed a bug.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:38 AM

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"

Hey LA! I just PM'd you - but if, for any reason it doesn't reach you then let me know and I'll get in touch again!

Take care of yourself and those sweet children - I'm off to bed now, but will be on line again tomorrow...

Love and hugs

- Magda x x x

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:40 AM

PENGUIN

King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:40 AM

I have no advice to give you, little albatross, so have a *hug* instead! *pours more Irish coffee*

More animations available at http://desktophippie.googlepages.com

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:46 AM

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"

You are simply too clever Penguin

... I am in awe...

Good night everyone! Talk tomorrow imponderers!

love - Magda x x x

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:48 AM

Zeek,
I don't mind talking about it at all.But I don't want to bring you all down with gory details.

To make it breif -in the words of my best and most trusted friend -" Girl ,you're being emotionally abused ".
I'm not employed , have No support network , & have 2 yonglings. But I just don't know if I can keep trying to fix something that may not be fixable.

It's going to be a bumpy ride.

Bryce
*********************************

I swallowed a bug.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:48 AM

Oh, just about any accent on a female's lips is absolute heaven...well, except French, that is.

I have a history with the French.

Oh, and KelKhil's right; as long as there is not serious bodily harm, loss of limb, or death, we laugh at other men's pain.

Magdalena...*sigh*...an Australian female...
DTH...*sigh*...an Irish female...

As far as Irish Mocha...I think if you make it, DTH, it is, by default, Irish, is it not?

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:50 AM

How's about a Brooklyn accent ? Does that count ?

Bryce
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I swallowed a bug.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 4:53 AM

LA29, that does not sound like any fun. We may be spread all over the world, but these people here are great. They helped me, and were here when I needed to talk and vent, so they (and I, now) will be happy to do what we can.
Emotional abuse is not acceptable at all, and not healthy. If you do not think it's 'fixable', then it probably isn't.
What can we do to help?

And a Brooklyn accent would be wonderful!

Do you happen to have a relative named Vinnie?

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Monday, September 18, 2006 5:00 AM

HUGS LittleAlbatross tightly...we're here for you sweety and we are all on your side. If you need to talk my email is oncemorewithfeeling321@yahoo.com and all I have to say is, if it's broken and the other side won't help fix it, then the other side is dead weight and should be treated as such.

Giggling at inapropriate moments...oh yeah.. let see on the 3rd date with MisterG he tripped and hit his shin on the coffee table hard and I burst out laughing ( sorry it's all my dad's fault. He taught me injuries are funny. He used to throw this ball up on our 3 story roof, watch it roll down and get under it so it'd hit him, then stagger around fall down and pretend injury to make me laugh)MisterG just about came unglued.
And the time two students had been racing about in the halls after school. I warned them to stop and then cocked my door halfway open to keep an ear out and they were running and one looked back to see how close his friend was and ran face first squarely into my door. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to take the kid to the office withotu laughing...laughed for a good 5 minutes after though:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Monday, September 18, 2006 5:01 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
Oh, just about any accent on a female's lips is absolute heaven...well, except French, that is. I have a history with the French.

Magdalena...*sigh*...an Australian female...
DTH...*sigh*...an Irish female...

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yeah I kinda melt when I hear a woman with an Exotic accent.

(Exotic being anything not of the typical US version)So it is a good thing we don't use Vent or anything or I might never leave. Assuming I could find someone willing to actually talk to me.

So what happened with the French anyway???

JA - If your friend says that you are being emotionally abused it is time to do something about it. Have you tried getting your SO to go to counsiling or to even talk about it? If you tried already and the answer was no then it is probably a good sign to move on unfortunatly. it can definatly be a hard move concidering the little ones and all. But it is not healthy or right to have to put up with something like that. In order to take care of the little ones you sometimes have to take care of you first. I hope that it works out for you. We are here to help in discussion if not anything else. We will suport you in any way we can.

Kelkhil

The Shirtless Forsaken

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Monday, September 18, 2006 5:01 AM

Have to admit, I'm a sucker for a New York accent. I love New York guys!

And the Scottish accent. I adore a Scottish accent! Even groundskeeper Willie from the Simpsons makes me sit up and take notice!

More animations available at http://desktophippie.googlepages.com

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Monday, September 18, 2006 5:05 AM

Nope, no Vinnie, sorry.I do have an Uncle Carmine though.And he was connected ,if you get my meaning.

Right now I'm thinking it's not a fixable situation.Since it seems that my husband thinks that everyting about me is what needs to be fixed.Which stings 'cause we've been together for 14 years.And have known each other for longer than that.Maybe there's truth to the not marrying young thing after all.

Bryce
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I swallowed a bug.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 5:08 AM

One of the hardest lessons I had to learn is that you can't have a reasonable conversation with an unreasonable person. You may think you're getting somewhere, but you never are.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 5:09 AM

Morning, MSG!
Hearing about the kid hitting the door made me laugh out loud, too...but only because that happened to me, too...except I was the kid who hit the door. Knocked me slap out for about two minutes, too!

KelKhil, my first wife was French, and my nightmares are filled with 6' tall, blonde, French-speaking monsters...

DTH, I'll practice my New York accent for if we ever meet. I also do a passable Scottish and a fairly decent (I think) Irish...but I won't use that one on you.

The summer I was working as a 16th Century Living History interpreter in NC, I actually fooled a Dublin couple into thinking I was from Dublin IRL...but the game was up when they asked me where I lived...they stil got a kick out of it and told me I did have them fooled. Made me feel good. I've had to learn a lot of different accents over the years for Drama.
Wow, that was a senseless rambling...sorry!

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Monday, September 18, 2006 5:14 AM

LA29, if he thinks all the problems are yours, then there is a problem. He won't be willing to change if he does not think he is wrong. If, for 14 years, you have been the one bending and changing, it is time for you to get out and seek your own happiness.

Carmine, eh? Somehow that's even more threatening...maybe he can help you out?

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Monday, September 18, 2006 5:20 AM

Ramble away Tristan...My grandma Sarah's Irish and proud of it:) Ok having spent time in France, my question is...what were you thinking?? French women are scary!

Little Albatross, if your husband won't go to counseling, I'd go without him :) If he thinks you're the problem then you can tell him counselling would be perfect because if he's right then the counselor will agree with him and help fix you ( ok this so will not happen!!)and having a neutral third party to look at what's going on and make suggestions can sometimes help a lot. It so easy to ignore constructive criticism from loved ones, but harder when a total stranger looks at you and say" oh really and why do you think you have the right to do or say that?" My friend Julie is going through similar problems with her husband ( according to him he's never wrong and never does anything wrong) and it's been great for her when the couselor confronts him with things he's done and he's had to see an outsider's viewpoint.But I'd bet you already know and have thought of all of this so I am just preaching to the choir...HUGS If we can do anything, or if you just want me to "shut up and be supportive"( my favorite line from The Big Chill) then we're here! ...ok this was much longer than I meant it to be.

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Monday, September 18, 2006 5:20 AM

MSG -that might be the best advice I've heard in awhile.I applaud your wisdom.I'm going to email you when I get a chance.

You guys are making me cry with all your Browncoat shinyness. For the first time in awhile I don't feel so alone.Many many thanks.

And btw can someone tell me how to find the pm Magda sent me ? I can't seem to find it.

Bryce
******************************************

I swallowed a bug.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 5:21 AM

Tristan - I'm very impressed with anyone who can do accents. I'm hopeless at them, except for my own :)

I'm especially impressed that your Irish accent was good enough to fool an Irish couple. Especially considering talents like Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman, Brad Pitt and even David B have made a terrible mess of trying to play Irish people.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 5:23 AM

Mmm 6' tall blonde....

Ok back to reality.

DTH - I have a little of a NY Accent. stems from spending summers there as a child. It is really dominant when I get angry. All of my friends know that when the accent comes out strong that they have pushed one button too many and need to take a break.

I do hope to one day make it to Ireland for a vacation. Only places outside of the country that I have been have not been by choice or for happy fun time. I almost moved there a few years ago to work with US Customs. But I started College again instead.

Kelkhil

The Shirtless Forsaken

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Monday, September 18, 2006 5:27 AM

Tristan, unfortunately Carmine is no longer with us.And yes the nature of his demise was questionable.

Thinking I acutally might find some happiness out there intrigues me.

Bryce
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I swallowed a bug.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 5:36 AM

*pushes LA towards the Happiness. Holds her head up to see the happiness*

Everyone deserves happiness. The fact that it intrigues you means that you have not had it in a long time and that is not right! It is time for you to laugh and smile and giggle at silly things and all around glow from the happy! Even if it is for brief moments here until you are settled. We will support you through this diffacult (sp) stage and most of all we will bring you a little bit of the happy whenever we can.

Stay strong.

Kelkhil

The Shirtless Forsaken

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Monday, September 18, 2006 5:37 AM

Thanks, MSG! French women aren't generally scary...it's the Parisians that give France a bad name. The first wife was absolutely gorgeous, and I thought the accent was sexy at first, but we all know that things went badly, and the accent was the most pronounced part of her, so it is what I have the worst memories of.

LA29, email me and I will give you Magdalena's direct email. I'd PM you, but you may not be getting PM's right now...

DTH, years and years of practice and listening to native speakers is what helped me. I love being able to speak differently...breaks the ice during akward moments!

KelKhil, she may have been a 6' beautiful blonde, but after six months of marriage that no longer mattered...unfortunately, it was another year and a half before we divorced...

LA29, I am sorry to hear about Carmine.
And finding happiness should be your number one goal. I agree that counselling may be the way to go for you, but I am not a firm believer in it. I will back off on suggesting otherwise, though, as it may actually help in your case. I'll be here if you decide to go the other way, though, and offer what advice I can.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 5:40 AM

I must now refer to my beloved grandmother..." If you're not happy, there's no point breathing"
My other favorite sayings of hers are
"if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten" and " there's magic in believing"

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Monday, September 18, 2006 5:57 AM

MSG - Your Grandmother was one smart lady.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 5:57 AM

Sounds like Grandma knows her stuff.I'm going to try suggesting counseling ,although it's never gotten me anywhere before.
I'm inclined to think that I'll still get more of the same.

I'm off for now, must put little Sean down for a nap & tend to house stuff.I feel so much better knowing I'm not as alone as it seems.
You all are so shiny !

Bryce
*****************************************

I swallowed a bug.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 6:14 AM

LittleAlbatross...if he won't go..like I said if one partner won't try to fix what's broken, they should be considered dead weight and treated accordingly...
My friend Julie got her husband to go with the simple expedient of telling him the absolute truth. He could go to counseling with her or she was filing for divorce, because something had to change. I don't know if you want to do that, but it worked for her.

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Monday, September 18, 2006 6:24 AM

Then there is also the possibility that the other does not want or is unwilling to change. My current divorce is a case in point. I am ten years older than my soon-to-be-ex, and somewhat set in my ways. She is young and full of life, and enjoys socializing, etc. We grew apart because what brought us together no longer applied, and the crumbling continued unabated. Counselling would not have helped us, as there was no help for our differences. The choices ended up being a separation or divorce. I am pretty sure that a separation would have led to her having a relationship with someone else, so divorce was the final decision. There was no ultimatum, only that statement of fact.
I do know that in the long run, both of us will see that this was the best decision. I am all ready to begin a new life, and am actually looking forward to being happy by myself for awhile. There are no children from our union, and no real common property, as we had only been married two years, so it's an easy divorce. I realize there are not too many that are this easy, though.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 6:33 AM

ZEEK

LittleAlbatross, this might not be the most uplifting bit of info ever, but my parents got divorced when I was 7. Basically my mom was being emotionally abused. Everything was her job and her fault if it went wrong. There are even stories about how she wouldn't eat ice cream on vacation because my dad wouldn't have liked it. (heard that one from the aunt she was visiting at the time) Stuff like that is completely unhealthy.

I still keep in touch with my dad once a week, because I know me and my brother are about the only things he finds happiness in these days. Still I know that if he had a chance he would have made my brother and I just as unhealthy as my mom was. Actually I think it worked for those first 7 years. I was as shy as possible as a kid. The same aunt who offered my mom ice cream on vacation was amazed that I wouldn't ask her for a glass of water when we were over at her house. Instead I'd whisper it to my mom and have her ask for me.

My mom making the tough decision to leave my dad was probably the best thing that ever happened in my life. I know I wouldn't be the same person I am today if she hadn't done it. However, being a single mom was not easy on her. It was a lot of work, but she did what was right. I can't think of having a better mom than her.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 6:36 AM

HUGS Tristan it's always hard to lose something so I don't think there is any scuh thing as an "easy" divorce:)

I guess I have never understood needing things in common. My parents have little to nothing in common and have been married over 30 years. MisterG and I don't have the same interests at all. I'm very social and outgoing and he is definitely NOT. He spends the majority of his free time playing computer games and I'd rather sever an artery than play them, we don't have the same tastes in movies, music, tv, or books ( for the most part). We have very different religious beliefs, I am totally in to my family and spending time with them and he sees his maybe once/twice a year, I love kids and he's not much of a kid person, I could go on and on, but you get the idea. We have virtually nothing in common. Yet we do really well together. It took some work, but as long as we respect the other's choices and priorities and don't try to get the other person to participate in our activities, or get mad when they don't participate in ours it really works fine.... and lest you think we spend no time together, we worked out a system of movie choices/activities by taking turns and we allocate time to spend jointly. So I wouldn't say having nothing in common dooms you, but I guess it could help a lot:)

...oooh so there's a ponderable. Do you prefer an SO who has a lot in common with you??

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Monday, September 18, 2006 7:21 AM

OK I really need more sleep. I snipped at a student ( being a major jackass, but still)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Monday, September 18, 2006 7:37 AM

Zeek,
I'm starting to think that I'm in a place not much different than your mom.Kudos to her for having the strength to leave.I am slowly getting there myself.

MSG- hubby & I have tons in common on the surface -books movies music etc.. so go figure !

Bryce
*******************************************

I swallowed a bug.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 9:26 AM

Huh...we seem to have disappeared for awhile...

I think it's important to have some things in common with your SO, if nothing more than the love of a sunset or the like. If the only thing you have in common is the physical, that will eventually "get old" and may possibly drive one to seek the new and exciting.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 9:54 AM

wow for a bit there I couldn't get in and I thought we were down again...apparently it was my school...what a relief!! I hate when I can't get on:)
LittleAlbatross...HUGS

Tristan- hmmm love of sunsets...Not overmuch fond of actualy sunlight, but sunsets...I like those. I'm somewhat nocturnal which is hilrious since, as a teacher, I get up super early and all:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Monday, September 18, 2006 10:02 AM

MSG, I agree with you about sunsets...used to love the ones in Phoenix. I brought that up as a minor point, though...but I'm glad you took it and ran!

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Monday, September 18, 2006 11:21 AM

ZEEK

I'm more into those with stuff in common. Don't want to have to fight over which movie to see, what shows to watch, what music to listen to, where to go to eat, etc. all the time. Some difference are fun, but overall I like more similarities.

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Monday, September 18, 2006 11:26 AM