Funny article by Dewrastler

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Funny article

POSTED BY: DEWRASTLER
UPDATED: Monday, September 25, 2006 11:55
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VIEWED: 2003
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Monday, September 25, 2006 3:34 AM

I go to USNA and every week we have this mock news feature called "Head Gouge" that is written by midshimen and placed in the bathrooms (just in case you need something to read). Every week there is a distinguished graduate. It's been everyone from Captain Crunch to Captain Jack Sparrow. Well, last week it was our Captain and I thought you all might like to read the entry.

THIS WEEK’S DISTINGUISHED GRAD:
Captain Malcolm “Mal” Reynolds, USNA Class of 2508

As a mid, Malcolm Reynolds was known for his bold nature, piloting skills, and moves with the ladies. His time at the Academy fighting against “The Man”, who wanted to kill and eat him but would have been content with taking his paycheck and his liberty, later helped him in his battles against the Reavers. A member of 13th company and the pistol team, he was actually the first midshipman to be kicked out but still graduate, mainly because he showed up for Commissioning and stole a diploma.
Upon graduation Capt Reynolds assumed command of the Firefly-class starship Serenity. He played an instrumental role in the colonization of outlying planetary systems, ensuring that each one had a secure gambling network and black market. Along the way, he met a girl, married a different one, and had at least 25 illegitimate children. He retired in 2610 at the age of 102 citing physical and mental fatigue.
Capt Reynolds is best known for assisting a fugitive escape from an imperial prison onboard his own ship. However, Capt Reynolds was never indicted and reports that he really even helped are sketchy. A daring personality, ship handling smarts, and a shady personality mark Capt Reynolds as a true USNA grad.

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Monday, September 25, 2006 4:42 AM

HOPERULES

Great to know the Captian has made a name for himself.

Hoperules

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Monday, September 25, 2006 4:49 AM

BELUGASMOM

How delightful! Thanks for posting. (Decades ago I was in love with a sailor boy..........)

Life is short, brutal, and unpredictable. EAT DESSERT FIRST.

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Monday, September 25, 2006 4:51 AM

DONCOAT

Met a girl... Inara?

Married a different one... ???

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm pointin' right at it!

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Monday, September 25, 2006 5:08 AM

CYBERSNARK

YoSafBridge.

'Course, now you've got me curious to see Jack Sparrow's.

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We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Monday, September 25, 2006 11:55 AM

RMMC

Thanks for sharing that!

*giggle* *giggle*

*******
RMMC

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