Male and Female Imponderables--Gypsy Road by Tristan

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Male and Female Imponderables--Gypsy Road

POSTED BY: TRISTAN
UPDATED: Tuesday, November 7, 2006 09:46
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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 5:56 AM

RIMG, I will endeavour to not anger you in any way.

DTH, I still have not seen what you look like (yes, that's a hint to post a photo in the photo thread, by the way!), but the concept of you breaking a bottle over a bar and brandishing it just sends shivers down my spine. Remember, I am very, very attracted to warrior women...even if they don't think of themselves as such.

And, uh....why don't you let me put that soda in a nice plastic cup for you, eh?

______________________________________

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 6:04 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

I agree with DTH in basically everything she said. Sex opens the core channel, it affects the karma, it shares the soul, however you want to put it, it's spiritually important. And I love it. Love it love it love it miss it miss it miss it wantitallthegorramntimeitsnotevenfunny... BUT, even as true as all that is, the first part of the statement means I'm not just going to jump anyone who will have me. I have to seriously consider if I want karmic ties with that person. Also if I really want them to enter my body, which is not just physical, but the house of my spirit as well, so all the spiritual ties and all that and the other and it's just so much nicer if I trust someone (haven't even had intercourse with someone I didn't trust, but did do a few things, and those were far from pleasant) it's nicer with emotion and trust because I can really relax. But I hardly let emotion get in the way. The only emotion that gets in the way is fear, and if you have fear going on, there could be some deep-seated issues to be addressed.
I've got that fuzzy brain thing going again, so I hope that all made sense.

I voted!! Go me!!

*edit* My jaw drops and my stomach churns at such things, MsG. For the love of all that is sacred, why isn't sex sacred? Why isn't choice and desire sacred? Whatwhatwhat????
Must... spread word... of healthy sex... of joy... can't... sentence... properly...! Too outraged!

As to sexiest song ever, I think I might have to go with Queen's 'Body Language'

[]

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 6:05 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE

Tristan: See above re: frumpy and uncool looking. I definately don't look like a warrior woman. Well, except that I'm fairly tall. That's about all I have going for me!

MSG: The information in that poll makes me very, very angry...

RIMG: Yep, I'm a product of evil Alliance experiments! Actually, I tend to react more like Kaylee than River - letting on I'm not hurt or upset and failing miserably. It was kinda cute when I was younger, but I'm fast approaching my thirties! I need a bit more emotional stability!

I can see how being cut off from your emotions would be disturbing though. Have a *hug*

Okay, the printing and filing are done. Posting time is over! Time to get typing work stuff *sigh*

Talk to you all soon.

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 6:31 AM

TRISTAN

DTH, then I say to you....prove it.

PR, all sex does not have to be sacred...there are times when it can be just for fun. If you look at it as a ritual every time you do it, it's eventually going to become tiresome...if not for you, then definitely for your partner, especially if he does not share your beliefs. I am by no means trying to start an argument about this, but there are those of us who are not impacted on a "spiritual" level...me, for example. I enjoy sex; quite a bit, come to think of it, and I also miss it. However, I don't think it's necessary to turn every encounter into a religious/pagan ceremony...and it seems that is how your thinking goes. Again, not trying to start anything negative, just wanting to understand. I sometimes think sex for it's own sake is necessary...giving in to the baser human nature of lust, reducing it to the level of a physical act; which it ultimately is.
So, I know you are probably off to sleep soon, but you and I have not had a lively discussion in awhile....I think this will be a good one. I seem to be on an opposite pole from you. So, let's see where this goes, shall we?

Please remember that this is not an attack, I am not out to change minds or anything, I just want to hear more about this.

______________________________________

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 6:38 AM

MSG

Yeah that poll upsets me

Ok I think the sexiest song ever is What would happen if we kiss- Meridith Brooks

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 6:44 AM

RUGBUG

Eesh, you guys have been busy! I'm stuck studying for my licensing exam and it's taking all my time. Funny how I don't remember anything from that class I took over a year ago. Note to self: Don't take a class, begin preparing for the test, break your arm and delay taking the test. 13 months puts a serious crimp in retention.

13: You've gotten some good advice. Do what you can to help this girl, but don't let it drag you down as well.

Everyone else: Hi! There's too much to make comments on everything that has been said.

But I did want to comment on this:

Quote:
Originally posted by RiverIsMyGoddess:
Maybe the reason that I feel the way I do is that I am so very disconnected from my own emotions. I have love for Ami and my boys, and that keeps me here at work and also at second job. I love her but we are not 'in love' anymore, does that make sense to anyone? I don't feel fear or most pain or sorrow or even joy. I do feel happiness from time to time. I think I am just a seriously messed up person, though I am ok with that.

If you're messed up, then so am I. I suppose I'm terribly disconnected from my emotions as well. But I don't even know if that's true or not. This is just the way I've always been. I'm happy in my life. I feel joy, anger, etc. I 'love' my friends, but I'm fine being a loner and that is disconcerting to me. I have a very hard time keeping in contact with friends and even family. I don't "need" people that way I feel I should.

That has made it extremely difficult to meet anyone significant in my life. Most men don't stick around long enough for me to get attached too. I don't give them reason. I'm like "eh, whatever." And the sad thing is I don't care all that much.

So I guess maybe I'm just okay with being a seriously messed up person, too. Heh...

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 6:48 AM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"

Well Imponderers - I am off to Bedfordshire... no I really mean bed... it's just that my...oh never mind...

RIMG

!! - I realise you are probably working out a lot of things emotionally right now - I do hope things improve for you Honey! Give yourself time and I am glad for you that you enjoy sex for sex's sake - so do I, just when it's within a relationship - you know? I sent you an email - but since I'm with hotmail it might end up in a dodgy folder! Go look!

Hey Mei Mei

! Thank you for sharing!...& always be true to yourself and just for the record - I don't think sex would ever be routine with you, Honey!

Tristan

! Just wanted to clarify that I didn't mean that you have to be 'in love' as RIMG said - there is a difference - and I have had sex with a good friend whom I loved as a friend but was not 'in love with', sorry if that wasn't clear. We had 'ground rules' and very open communication and are still friends today - though he lives in Queensland! But the love/trust thing is very important, I still feel, for me! Also, as I said to RIMG, I do enjoy the basic sex act for what it is when in the right time/place /mood (thunderstorm?) but when I am with the right person... 'kay?

DTH

- I love you being here more - keep up the 'good work'... and the internet connection - and as Tristan said - prove it!!

And my gorgeous li'l sis - MsG

- mmmm now I think it would have to be 'Learning to Fly', by Pink Floyd - something about the rhythym makes me think of the kind of sex Mal & Inara shared in 'Heart of Gold'...

Goodnight all - I think I have posted my quota for the thread!

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 6:59 AM

PENGUIN

Quote:
Originally posted by magdalena:

... lead your cheer squad!

Thank you dear one! Nope...I'm doing fine, but I love to be smothered with attention...especially from you!

King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 7:00 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

This post may contain TMI. In fact, I'm fair certain it does.

Yes, all sex does have to be sacred. To me. I'm going to bold that, so no one can claim they missed the point. To. Me. It is not ceremonial every time. It is not a ritual every time. Actually, it pretty much never has been in my experience thus far. But the impact it has on me spiritually is going to be present in every encounter. I've so far had one partner in my life. It had an effect on my spirit the first time and the last time. And it was very, very good. Very good. Also kinky as hell. There were straps and fishnet and feathers and blades and honey and anything else we wanted to play with. Still think I never gave in to the base instincts? Wrong, so wrong. All the time, the drive was there. I LOVE sex. Love it. I've told you before my ex even accused me of being a nympho, though that isn't the case either; he just couldn't keep up with me.
BUT... I could not have given into those base insincts if my spirit was being negatively impacted because when there is something negative happening to me on any level my body rebels in some spectacular ways. I feel ill, get headaches, cramps, nausa, ringing in my ears etc etc etc. Oh yeah, one other symptom is I can't get wet. Pretty difficult to have good sex if there's nothing to lubricate it, I would say.
I have to love, I have to trust, I have to know the spirit is happy, I have to know it's sacred. It should get anything but old for a partner of mine because the more a relationship builds the more and more trust is going to be there, the more and more happy my spirit is going to be, the more sacred I will hold the pleasure and the BETTER it's going to get.
Once I'm done feeling someone out, I can go wild with them without feeling the sacred element is violated.
Dong ma?

Good, ok, end TMI.

[]

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 7:00 AM

MSG

Night my lovely big sis. Sleep well:) Oh I have got to stop prepping in a hurry. THe kids are doing their checkbook test and using checks I wrote ( on special training checks) to "balance" their check registers. I was in a hurry and have no spent the whole period running from kid to kid answering questions like " who is this to?" and "what is the date on this?" SIGH must print better next time. I forgot they can't read cursive.

EDIT- PR well...WOW

Penguin dear SMOTHER HUGS!!!!!
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 7:06 AM

RIVERISMYGODDESS

time to vote: http://richlabonte.net/tvvote/index.html

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
Also did you know what when polled (girls 14-20 years )25% of girls said their first sexual experience had been voluntary, but not wanted( felt like they had to) and another 18% said it hadn't been voluntary?? Further the poll went on to over 100,000 kids ( both male and female) and over 40% said it was acceptable for a man to force a woman to have sex if they had been dating for more than 6 months or he had spent a lot of money on her..ok How did we as a society do this? We've convinced kids that sex is a bargining tool, a way to gain friends and influence, and mandatory whether both people want to or not...we suck!

It is depressing reading those statistics from the polls.

It brings up another point I wanted to make: Aside from the emotional connection or not, I think that people (in the U.S. specifically, but I am sure it is all over the globe) place too much emphasis on sex. It seems to me that most guys I know either push for or expect sex for taking a girl out and paying for everything. This pressure is what causes strife in many relationships, especially those that are new and/or struggling already. I think that if two people want to rut like bunnies, they should feel free to, but only if both of them want it. If only one wants it, and the other only does it because they feel obligated, I don't think that is healthy, and certainly not good for the pair. I had more of a point in mind, but it escapes me at the moment.

~Jimi
jimi dot spettel at gmail dot com
Self-Proclaimed Grand Vizier of Georgia

- Animation by DesktopHippie

"Marijuana not only should be legal, it should be manditory." - Bill Hicks

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 7:12 AM

JONNYQUEST

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

Quote:
Originally posted by magdalena:
If you really want to be impressed... I was actually typing a reply to Nico in the 'pub thread'when I suddenly found myself in this thread with sextuplets!!!! (all balnk at that - but I'm putting them to good use - don't you think?? )

I haven't finished reading the thread yet, but has anyone else noticed the irony of Mags having sextuplets in a thread about safe sex? (hmmm, and first fights...)

"Well, here I am...Does that seem right to you?"

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 7:23 AM

RIVERISMYGODDESS

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:

If you're messed up, then so am I.

I don't "need" people that way I feel I should.

So I guess maybe I'm just okay with being a seriously messed up person, too. Heh...

I am just glad to know that I am not the only person who feels this way. I don't need people, though I do like some of them (the rest can sod off).

Quote:
Originally posted by magdalena:
RIMG!! - I realise you are probably working out a lot of things emotionally right now - I do hope things improve for you Honey! Give yourself time and I am glad for you that you enjoy sex for sex's sake - so do I, just when it's within a relationship - you know? I sent you an email - but since I'm with hotmail it might end up in a dodgy folder! Go look!

It really depends on where you sent it. I assume it was the gmail account, which I cannot access until I get home. If'n that is the case, I will read it and write back when I get in and you will have something to wake up to. :)

PR - everything you wrote there makes sense, and I can completely see what you mean about the connection/karma/good vibes/etc with a partner. I do not equate those to emotions, though I feel similarly on knowing/trusting the person(s) involved.

Oh yeah, and there is nothing wrong with being a nympho (though I do hear about problems with people keeping up from several of my female friends) :)

~Jimi
jimi dot spettel at gmail dot com
Self-Proclaimed Grand Vizier of Georgia

- Animation by DesktopHippie

"Marijuana not only should be legal, it should be manditory." - Bill Hicks

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 7:23 AM

TRISTAN

Magda, gotcha! That makes sense...and I understand that.

Penguin! Big man hug your way! Been missing you!

PR, Dong ma. Thank you for the bold.

Well, you pretty much cut to the chase. I do hope you are able to find a partner that matches you, and soon!
I'l preface mine also with This Applies to Me Only
My only issue is with the spirit. "Spirit" to me has the connotations of religion/paganism/whatever you want to call it. Something higher/holier than the individual. I am not a believer in either god nor of the pagan 'faith', either. It's me and whomever I am with at the time. If we get along, are in love, enjoy each other's company then the sex will be wonderful. If not...well, it'll still be good. Does that make sense? I realize this is against everything you have said, I just want to see if you understand where I am coming from...
I do have to have some sort of connection with the person in order for it to be really good. Without the connection, it is just sex...and although there is absolutely nothing at all wrong with that, that gets old after awhile. The best sex, in my opinion, is with someone you are completely comfortable with...friends first, lovers later. Trust is a major sticking point...if my partner does not trust me, then I do not want to be with them...and if I do not trust my partner, well...I divorced the last one, so you can see I feel strongly on that point.

So, I see your point, and appreciate you for it...I really do hope you find your match. You may kill him, but he'll die happy!

______________________________________

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 7:23 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER

Hello to all in and goodbye to all who have left.

RIMG- I laughed my ass off when Jayne said that. I was also a bit disappointed. I had no trophy. But that sealed how I did things from there on out. Some aspects of my culture includes taking trophies from those defeated. It releases that person of a certain amount of pride, allowing them to pass into the future without that burden. But someone once likened me to Crazy Horse. His medicine demanded that he make war with a minimal amount of weaponry and to never take trophies. In his case he did once and almost died because of it.

I guess that I need to catch up a bit. Everyones been busy and I type s o s l o w.

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 7:29 AM

TRISTAN

MSG, sorry, meant to say hello! :hugs:

RIMG, I do want to throw something in here...I am not one of those people who expects sex when taking someone out. I was raised to be the gentleman and to pay for dates...I know that may not sit well with some of the females in here, but that's how I am. I also try to be as chivalrous as possible; opening doors, etc...but it is not an "act". If you meet me in real life, that is how I am. I do not expect anything from doing all this beyond the pleasure of their company. Now, if I am freely given something (read: last date's kiss), then I accept with joy. I never say "I paid for dinner, you have to sleep with me now". Ever. I do not think that is right at all.
I agree with the bunny thing, too...both parties must want it. Hence, communication is important, evern if it's as simple as "Hey, wanna?"..."Hell, yeah!"

Afternoon, NVG!

Ok, off to lunch.

______________________________________

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 7:32 AM

MSG

NV- hmmm pondering the trophy thing. Oh and I meant to comment earlier and got sidetracked. I understand exactly what you mean about the "evil" coming from some of our kids. I have a few with that look. You can feel the red teacher light go on and you're just waiting for it. Last one I had with that look is now in prison for dealing meth and has joined the skin heads... Not my best moment. But we keep trying don't we.

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 7:40 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

I get it, Tristan, as much as I can anyway. I think I should explain the spirit (at least my take on it) to you though; It's not higher or holier than the individual, it is the individual. It's your personal energy, which is released into/traded with the person you are with. I hope that helps explain more where I'm coming from.
I liken casual sex to my vibrator; it might get me off, but it's sure not gonna satisfy me down to the bone (or spirit, whatever you wanna see it as) the way the reeeaaal thing can. I have nothing else to compare it to, so that's what I've got.
And just to clarify, a nympho is defined as someone who 'compulsively engages in the act of sex' or something along those lines, so I'm not one, technically, just, uh, yeah, like it and can go for... well, a long time.
Oh dear, that was also TMI, wasn't it?

Hehehe, on the communication/bunny thing, ex and I always said "I want you" before we got into it, usually after lots of playing and lovely full-body orgasms and that kind of niceness. Had to have some signal that it was time to pull out the protection, and that one was as good as any

[]

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 7:44 AM

RIVERISMYGODDESS

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
RIMG, I do want to throw something in here...I am not one of those people who expects sex when taking someone out. I was raised to be the gentleman and to pay for dates...I know that may not sit well with some of the females in here, but that's how I am. I also try to be as chivalrous as possible; opening doors, etc...but it is not an "act". If you meet me in real life, that is how I am. I do not expect anything from doing all this beyond the pleasure of their company. Now, if I am freely given something (read: last date's kiss), then I accept with joy. I never say "I paid for dinner, you have to sleep with me now". Ever. I do not think that is right at all.
I agree with the bunny thing, too...both parties must want it. Hence, communication is important, evern if it's as simple as "Hey, wanna?"..."Hell, yeah!"

I was brought up a gentleman as well, and I hardly even would make a move on a girl unless I could absolutely tell that it would be welcomed (yes, I am a stubborn and thick-headed guy who subtleties do not work on).

There are three things I will never say no to: sex, the wonderful plant mentioned in my signature, and Firefly, in that order. For example, I am always up for sex, but it usually only happens when Ami grabs me and tells me exactly what she wants.

~Jimi
jimi dot spettel at gmail dot com
Self-Proclaimed Grand Vizier of Georgia

- Animation by DesktopHippie

"Marijuana not only should be legal, it should be manditory." - Bill Hicks

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 7:50 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER

It eally sucks to feel things about folks. Its not that you can do anything directly or get any measurable result. I wonder if clergy gets to feelin' like this.

So, pondering on the sex thing. Its been so long I'm wondering if theres even any point in pondering. I figure waiting for someone I can trust is the primary concern. But as you all know, that hadn't happened in quite a while.

Kids should not be havin' sex. I am still amazed that I've been here for such a short while and have already seen second generation clients.

I show up and Tristan goes to lunch. Is it a sign?

ADD: RIMG- I always loved an aggressive woman. Well, not so much aggressive, but clear. Someone that will tell you what she wants or needs. I can see the future in my dreams, but reading minds is trickier.

Does anyone else see the way society is changing simple things like sex. I hesitate being too aggressive when it comes to sex. And I like being a bit aggressive. Forgive me for I am an Aries. And a man. So why is it the majority has to suffer for the faults of the few. I want a willing enthusiastic partner who loves me but won't have sex as a ritual. Rituals are for church and the like. So why must all men have the label of sex feen or, and take this lightly please, rapist. Nothing bugs me more than the militant mentality of more than a few femanist groups that label men as these things. F'em. F'em all. I have no aspiration to force anything, let alone sex on someone that ain't willing. Frustration aside, I would like to commend all the wonderful women who can see that men are equalizer to the female being. Acknowledging the spirit is such a commenable thing and I would like to commend everyone that recognizes its importance.

Okay. Done ranting.

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 7:56 AM

CHRISMOORHEAD

MSG, did I ever tell you that I went to a school for emotionally and socially challenged students late in High School? You're probably not too surprised by that. But, the teachers there were the absolute best ones I ever had. My next door neighbor's mom is a teacher at one of those schools as well, and he himself is a case all his own. I know the type of kid you're talking about, sometimes they're just too fucked up by the time you get them to make a difference. In fact, maybe you think I fit in to that category, but whatever, I just wanted to say thanks for what you do. I know it can't pay all that much, but for the kids that you get through to, it's really a life changing experience.

This one guy came back after he graduated to tell us all about how he went on to become a government security contractor, and how one of our school's crises counselors was greatly responsible for the change. Counselor's name was Mr.Brooks, big muscular guy, got got fed up with his BS one day, yanked him outta class, took him out to the BBall court and talked him into straitening up. Maybe I'm rambling, but I thought it was cool how he went from fuck up to playin it strait in the breadth of a stern talkin to.

[IMG]

Place my body on a ship and burn it on the sea,
Let my spirit rise, Valkiries carry me.
Take me to Valhalla where my brothers wait for me.
Fires burn into the sky, my spirit will never die.

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 7:59 AM

TRISTAN

PR, aha! Ok, that makes better sense...spirit as the individual...shiny.

I also understand the vibrator thing...that's how I feel about casual sex, too...except without the vibrator thing...um...best thing I have to compare to that is "taking hold of my plow". Meat and potatoes vs a seven-course meal. We are on the same page there.

I like bunnies.

RIMG, I am the same way, but I also fit into the 'brick' theory that was tossed around...at least for the first few encounters. After that, when I know we are comfortable with each other, I like to employ ambush tactics every now and then...and I love when that happens in return.

NVG, I'm back...sorry, man, got hungry...thinking about sex does that to me.
Trust...that's a hard one to find, but great when it does happen.

______________________________________

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 8:34 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER

Yeah, I'm a little famished myself. But remember that meat and potato'e is pretty good when the right cook comes along. Seven course meal eventually loses it luster if consumed too often.

On the emotional seperation of self issue: What is missing in your lives? Or at what point did the disconnection start? I can see and feel the space where there should be something important. Its been a few months since I'd let out a good cry and can feel it in there, but it ain't coming out. Emotional constipation? Here's where the movie therapy comes in. I find those flics and subject myself to an emotional upheaval. Cheap Canadian whiskey used to work, but I hate being drunk. Three movies to try: Now & Forever with Adam Beach and Mia Kirchner. Savior with Dennis Quaid. Skins with Eric Schweig and Grahm Greene.
They all seem to touch the right series of keys to let it out.

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 8:39 AM

JONNYQUEST

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

Quote:
Originally posted by NVGhostrider: Yeesh. Takin' a few lumps for a friend. Thats the stuff real men are made of. Family is one thing, friends are another. We are not beholding to them yet we set out for harms way when it comes to their well being. I see a Browncoat shining through on JQ's post. Injuries aside, thats cool.

Quote:
Originally posted by ChrisMoorhead:
JQ - Loved the "Fight Club" poster, really added some flavor to the whole thing. I should have thought of that.

Sorry to hear you and your friend had to deal with that type of BS back in the day. Ending any type of persecution always involves enduring long periods of violence and misunderstanding while everyone adjusts. It's never very pretty, but welcome to the human race, am I right?

And let me just echo and "hooah!" for you takin a beatin for a friend. That's some nobility right there.

Again, let me say, my inebriated self brought the battle to us. (My friend, not being as naive about the depth of such hatred as I, was absolutely horrified that I said anything at all, let alone something akin to "Bring it on", which also hadn't made it into pop culture yet. God, how old am I again?

"Well, here I am...Does that seem right to you?"

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 9:13 AM

JONNYQUEST

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

13, I hope you've read all the great advice being offered here. Bottom line, she needs to tell someone. Please, please, please keep us informed about how things are/turn out.

Meantime, Imponderers, new thread awaits.

http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=25104

"Well, here I am...Does that seem right to you?"

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 9:17 AM

MAVOURNEEN

Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:

On the emotional seperation of self issue: What is missing in your lives? Or at what point did the disconnection start?

For me, it is friends. Living, breathing, goin' out to dinner/shop/see movies friends.

A few years ago, Husband and I went through a serious rough patch, and we separated for a few months. In the years leading up to that separation, I neglected my friendships just trying to keep my head above water. I was simply unable to take care of my infant son, my house, work 40 hours, and deal with my dissolving marriage AND keep friendships alive.
Some friends understood, and stood by me...but most didn't. They were simply too concerned with their own lives/children/jobs to be able to be there for me. Those relationships are irreparably damaged. I have online friends, here and on other sites I frequent. I have a few girlfriends across the country I talk to via phone or email now and again...but it isn't the same. I focus now on the Husband, the Tidbit...but I know that face to face friendships are missing in my life.

I am trying to reconnect with some of these women.
But somehow...this has really made me realize that maybe they weren't my friends to begin with.

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006 9:46 AM

JAMESTHEDARK

Quote:
Maybe the reason that I feel the way I do is that I am so very disconnected from my own emotions. I have love for Ami and my boys, and that keeps me here at work and also at second job. I love her but we are not 'in love' anymore, does that make sense to anyone? I don't feel fear or most pain or sorrow or even joy. I do feel happiness from time to time. I think I am just a seriously messed up person, though I am ok with that.

I feel you, brother. I've got the exact same difficulty. I haven't been legitimately angry in six years, and what it took to touch that off was somebody shoving me onto an active table-saw. The worst I can manage nowadays is irritated going on miffed.
Of late, I've been talking to councilors and suchlike, trying to suss out the root cause of this emotional disconnect. Right now, it's come down to ADD, anxiety, depression, and a touch of agoraphobia. Not or: and. Which is somewhat disconcerting.

Rose: Coming from you, TMI isn't really a problem

Try to go easy on Nico when he shows up, though. He'll be seriously jet-lagged when he arrives.

NVG: The closest I've come to weeping in recent years was when I got (totally unexpectedly) welled up reading the end of a book I'd gone over at least a half dozen times before. I was shocked. Of course, it was a good bit of writing, to reach through my husk and grab my atrophied soul and give 'er a twist the way it did. You just need to find your medium. Prose has always been mine.
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I ain't lookin' for help from on high. That's a damn long wait for a train don't come.

98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature.

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