Great Quotes You CAN'T Use by Schism

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Great Quotes You CAN'T Use

POSTED BY: SCHISM
UPDATED: Saturday, June 13, 2009 01:13
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Saturday, May 16, 2009 5:46 PM

The 'Verse is full of snazzy quotes that can be used in your everyday life to make you sound a little more quippier than you really are.

But what are the quotes that have absolutely NO relevance to real life that you wish you could use but can't?

I've always loved the quote;

"Seventy earths spinnin' about the galaxy, and the meek have inherited not a one."

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Sunday, May 17, 2009 2:11 PM

SCNJ

"Wheel never stops turning"
"That only matters to the people on the rim"

Never had a chance for that to come up ever, sadly.

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Sunday, May 17, 2009 2:55 PM

RIVERDANCER

"Hey, I've been in a firefight before!
...Well, I was in a fire.
Actually, I was fired...
from a fry cook opportunity.
...I can handle myself."

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Sunday, May 17, 2009 6:22 PM

STOWEAWAY

Used the phrase "evil lecherous hump" during a conversation once. Used it in proper context but with non-Browncoats. Took too long to explain to puzzled & offended people -- won't do that again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Check out http://www.americasfunniesttshirts.com for hilarious shirts at a great price.

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Sunday, May 17, 2009 9:08 PM

SHINYGOODGUY

"My muscular buttocks!"

I've used "where's that get fun" a couple of times.

SGG

Tawabawho?

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009 4:15 AM

BEATLESFAN

Using "hump" in any of the Firefly ways will probably get you a few stares. I'd love to be able to go "I'm humped" or "We're humped" but it probably wouldn't be wise.

Ummmm, how about "Look! They have boy whores!"

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009 2:49 PM

YELLOWJACKET

I once used 'humped' at a convention, in a Firefly game, and in context. Strangely enough it was received with a kind of stern silence that I had not expected.

Very odd.

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009 2:57 PM

CELLARDOOR

I'll have to think about it, but I love the idea of this thread so far, so keep the ideas coming! :)

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009 9:56 PM

JEWELSTAITEFAN

I might be able to use "I'll be in my bunk" but maybe nobody would get it.

I do think "well, that has an effect on the landscape" could be used, but have not yet found the proper opportunity.

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009 10:36 PM

DEFIANT2THELAST

Quote:
Originally posted by Beatlesfan:
Using "hump" in any of the Firefly ways will probably get you a few stares. I'd love to be able to go "I'm humped" or "We're humped" but it probably wouldn't be wise.

Ummmm, how about "Look! They have boy whores!"

I've used all these fairly effectivly. The last made a good insult....

Lincolnz: I'll have an explosion in my pants pocket when I get a text message now

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009 11:32 PM

FILLYGIRL

Operative: "Its worse than you know..." Mal: "It usually is."

Loose quote,
...'I saw the trouble when I was down there on my back'

right, as hard as I try, I can't think of one time I can use this.;0

Chaplain of the 76th Independant Battalion

Do not bother dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!

...it's worse than you know...Operative
...it usually is.....Mal

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Wednesday, May 20, 2009 12:32 AM

BEATLESFAN

Quote:
Originally posted by fillygirl:
Loose quote,
...'I saw the trouble when I was down there on my back'

right, as hard as I try, I can't think of one time I can use this.;0

Chaplain of the 76th Independant Battalion

Do not bother dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!

...it's worse than you know...Operative
...it usually is.....Mal

yet

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Wednesday, May 20, 2009 12:53 AM

FILLYGIRL

Operative: "Its worse than you know..." Mal: "It usually is."

..you speak as if you know me?????

Chaplain of the 76th Independant Battalion

Do not bother dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!

...it's worse than you know...Operative
...it usually is.....Mal

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Wednesday, May 20, 2009 8:56 PM

JEWELSTAITEFAN

Quote:
Originally posted by fillygirl:
..you speak as if you know me?????

Chaplain of the 76th Independant Battalion

Do not bother dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!

...it's worse than you know...Operative
...it usually is.....Mal

Contemplating new paint color for the bedroom?
Get on top, better for circulation.

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Wednesday, May 20, 2009 8:58 PM

FILLYGIRL

Operative: "Its worse than you know..." Mal: "It usually is."

..could be a plan there.:)

I guess the chance depends on where the action happens?

Chaplain of the 76th Independant Battalion

Do not bother dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!

...it's worse than you know...Operative
...it usually is.....Mal

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Wednesday, May 20, 2009 10:07 PM

FREMDFIRMA

And this turn of conversation just BEGS a Jayne quote...

"I could stand to hear a little more!"

-F

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Wednesday, May 20, 2009 10:35 PM

FILLYGIRL

Operative: "Its worse than you know..." Mal: "It usually is."

Quote:
Originally posted by Fremdfirma:
And this turn of conversation just BEGS a Jayne quote...

"I could stand to hear a little more!"

-F

ROTFLMAO!!!!!

Chaplain of the 76th Independant Battalion

Do not bother dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!

...it's worse than you know...Operative
...it usually is.....Mal

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Thursday, May 21, 2009 12:32 AM

RIPWASH

I would think this one woulda been said first by one of us guys, but I guess I'll have to say it . . .

I don't think I'll EVER find an occasion to say,
"Goin' on a year now I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!"

*********************************************
Mal: You think she'll hold together?
Zoë: She's torn up plenty, but she'll fly true.
Mal: Could be bumpy.
Zoë: Always is

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Thursday, May 21, 2009 12:49 AM

BRIGLAD

Be kinda hard to fit "Spry for a dead fella" into a conversation.

Brian

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Thursday, May 21, 2009 12:57 AM

FILLYGIRL

Operative: "Its worse than you know..." Mal: "It usually is."

Quote:
Originally posted by Briglad:
Be kinda hard to fit "Spry for a dead fella" into a conversation.

Brian

]

;P LMAO

or
"...what did ya'll order a dead guy for?"

Ripwash, I thought of that one, but chose the other one.

Chaplain of the 76th Independant Battalion

Do not bother dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!

...it's worse than you know...Operative
...it usually is.....Mal

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Thursday, May 21, 2009 1:07 AM

ZZETTA13

Two master freemasons meet, do their secret handshake and acknowledge one another.

Two browncoats meet, shake hands and verbalize,

B1 “So ruttin glad to meet you.”

B2 “Gorram shiny.”

It would be good to have everyone you meet understand the language of the verse. But in a way it’s also SHINY to know when you find another Firefly fan.I've used SHINY a couple of times but no one knew what the hell I was talkin about.

Z

PS, I would never say gorram in front of my mother. I may be an old guy but I ain’t to old for a beating.

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Thursday, May 21, 2009 4:38 AM

FREMDFIRMA

Actually I did manage one of the 'impossible' ones into a convo after a buddys po'ed girlfriend bit him on the lip for gettin a lil too friendly with another girl at a convention.

"That's why I never kiss em on the mouth."

Cue stares, silence, and me laughing my ass off.

-F

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Thursday, May 21, 2009 4:41 AM

CYBERSNARK

Quote:
Originally posted by Briglad:
Be kinda hard to fit "Spry for a dead fella" into a conversation.

You'd be surprised the kind of conversations I have. . .

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Thursday, May 21, 2009 9:26 AM

JONGSSTRAW

I love quote threads. I use FF lines in my personal and work life all the time....sometimes they get across, and sometimes they don't....

Why we still arguing what's been decided?
Let's ride past the part where you explain what that means.
I got no rudder. Wind blows North, I go North.
We're at the corner of No and Where.
You better smile when you say that.
How quaint!
Prefer a bit of a piss off.
Worth of a turd.
A fine bunch of reubens.
I can't know that!
Pisspot.
Did I give you the impression I was askin'?

and a zillion more.

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Thursday, May 21, 2009 12:35 PM

FREELANCERTEX

"We live on a spaceship, dear."

or

"We're crooks. if everything were right we'd be in jail." -- unless you ARE a crook, in which case maybe you've used this once or twice. XD

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Thursday, May 21, 2009 1:13 PM

RALLEM

Some orders allow Shepherds to marry,
but I follow a narrower path.

http://www.swyzzlestyx.com/index.html

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Thursday, May 21, 2009 2:41 PM

RIPWASH

How 'bout...

- This distress wouldn't happen to be takin' place in someone's pants, would it?
- Yeah, but she's our witch, so cut her the hell down.
- You see that guy hangin' out of the space ship with the really big gun?
- I can kill you with my brain.
- Dear Buddah, please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket...
- Oh my God, who's flyin' this thing? Oh right, that would be me.
- They'll rape us to death, eat our flesh and sew our skin into their clothing. And if we're very lucky, they'll do it in that order.
- We applied the cortical electrodes, but were unable to get a response from either patient.

*********************************************
Mal: You think she'll hold together?
Zoë: She's torn up plenty, but she'll fly true.
Mal: Could be bumpy.
Zoë: Always is

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Thursday, May 21, 2009 2:55 PM

FREELANCERTEX

Rallem, LOVE the avi XD

LOLZ i thought about the "yeah but she's our witch" one XD

"Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back."

"You can't change that by gettin' all..bendy. you've got the-the lights from the console...keep you...lift you up. they shine like *grabs at air* little angels."

"Planet's comin' up a mite fast."

"I can't keep track of her when she's *not* incorporeally possessing a spaceship."

"Anyone remember her comin at me with a butcher's knife?"

"Here's a little concept i've been workin on, why don't we shoot her first?"

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Thursday, May 21, 2009 5:14 PM

SHINYVERA2517

"No, now that she's a killer woman, we ought to be bringing her tea and dumplings."
"Don't pay anybody in advance. And don't ride in anything with a Capissen 38 engine, they fall right out of the sky."
"Mal. Guy killed me, Mal. He killed me with a sword. How weird is that?"
"If I ever kill you, you'll be awake. You'll be facing me, and you'll be armed."
"Tell us where the stuff's at, so I can shoot ya."
"My John Thomas is about to pop off and fly around the room, there's so much tasty in here."

One that I hope to never to be able to use in a non-sarcastic way is "Oh God, oh God we're all
gonna die."

_____
"He was mostly brave.....MOSTLY??!?!...he was brave..."

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Thursday, May 21, 2009 5:39 PM

BORIS

I regularly use the phrase "evil lecherous hump" and find i don't have to explain it, as the acidic quality I deliver it does that for me.

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Sunday, May 24, 2009 9:22 PM

GODSMACKSERENITY

"Gave the boy a free thrust since he's not long for this world"

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Monday, May 25, 2009 4:54 AM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"

When my boyfriend said, "I'm such a moron..."

I returned with, "yeah, but you're my moron!"

We're both browncoats, met here initially, actually!

I also like "You're going to come with me!"

"I'm pointing right at it!"

"do you know that girl?"
"I really don't..."

"... Malcolm, I've been waiting for you to kiss me since I showed you my guns!"

"what about me, am I getting any prettier?"
"by the minute!"

"... as long as it's you, and not my fine rice wine, talkin'!"

"Ain't like anyone else is linin' up to... examine me"

"he looks better in red"

CPT Magda Martin, CO of Golf Co. (Europe)
www.myspace.com/lady_magdalena
www.crazypurplewombat.blogspot.com
www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=603506986
http://www.flickr.com/photos/magdalena67/

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Saturday, May 30, 2009 1:38 PM

TRAINBANDIT

I'll probably use "monkeyshit" sometime, but that sounds pretty 21st century. Still like it though.

"Hell, I'm a fan of all seven."

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Saturday, May 30, 2009 2:22 PM

WASHNWEAR

Quote:
Originally posted by TrainBandit:
I'll probably use "monkeyshit" sometime, but that sounds pretty 21st century. Still like it though.

"Hell, I'm a fan of all seven."

Well, sure - monkeys (and their excrement) are timeless!

I've learned that when it comes to, "Find that kid that's takin' a dirt nap with Baby Jesus - we need a hood ornament!", I really need to make my moment. I find myself spending a lot of my free time hanging out at pull-a-part yards...

donttalkbackjustdrivethecarshutyourmouthiknowwhatyouaredontsaynothinkeepyourhandsonthewheeldontturnaroundthisisforreal

Still...what would Rorschach do?

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Saturday, May 30, 2009 5:29 PM

HEWHOKICKSALOT

It takes all kinds to make the world go ‘round. Unfortunately, some are pedaling in the wrong direction...

My wife is probably growing sick of it, but my favorite is....

"It's a real burden, being right so often..."

Used primarily when my children argue with me, but are then proven horribly wrong...

Rob O.

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Saturday, May 30, 2009 7:28 PM

AG05

Not a quote, exactly, but that scene in Heart of Gold when Jayne is sleeping with the hooker, but has to rearrange things 'cause he's sleeping on his gun? I've had that happen at least twice. Minus the hooker part, of course.

1911's are pointy as hell when you're sleeping on them.

Mercy is the mark of a great man.
Guess I'm just a good man.
Well, I'm alright.

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Saturday, May 30, 2009 8:38 PM

ANOTHERSKY

I tried "terrifyin' space monkeys" one time...BLANK stares, as if you'd turned their brains off. Completely off.

Maybe it's a safeword. Hmmm...

Also, I would love to be able to say any of the "fertile land" 'dialogue'.

On the other hand:

"she crashes, you crashed her!"
"I'll be in my bunk"
"I can't KNOW that!"
"Might have been the losing side..."
"That seems to be the popular theory."
"She understands, she doesn't comprehend."
"too much hair!"

have worked quite nicely, and even sparked browncoat-type exchanges. Not the point of the thread, but still...

"Yeah, tell us where the stuff's at, so I can shoot ya."
That whole scene is awe-inspiring for writing.

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Saturday, May 30, 2009 10:00 PM

231

Here's another one. "One of you is gonna fall and die and I'M not gonna be the one cleaning it up! LOL!

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Saturday, May 30, 2009 10:40 PM

AERIN

Lately I've found myself wanting to say "I am a large, semi-muscular man. I can take it." Except, I'm not a guy.

Oh well. It would be lost on my coworkers anyway.

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Saturday, May 30, 2009 11:01 PM

231

Quote:
Originally posted by Aerin:
Lately I've found myself wanting to say "I am a large, semi-muscular man. I can take it." Except, I'm not a guy.

Oh well. It would be lost on my coworkers anyway.

Hi,Aerin. This is my first time posting on this forum.

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Saturday, May 30, 2009 11:09 PM

MAI

Quote:
Here's another one. "One of you is gonna fall and die and I'M not gonna be the one cleaning it up! LOL!

I worked at a day care part time. That quote came up daily. So the three year olds didn't get it, it made them giggle anyways.

I also happen to like " I don't know what I'm saying I never know what I'm saying,"

Or a variation with "I don't know what YOUR saying I never know what YOUR saying."

“Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.”

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Saturday, May 30, 2009 11:22 PM

231

One I will DEFINETLY never use, at least to a total stranger is, "I can see you..."

Now wierd and creepifyin,I can handle.

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Sunday, May 31, 2009 1:36 AM

WAKEUPSOON

Quote:
Originally posted by 231:
Here's another one. "One of you is gonna fall and die and I'M not gonna be the one cleaning it up! LOL!

I use that one at college a lot. When its nice day and we're on the hill a lot of people start messing about, so I always sneak it in.

I've never been able to use "These are stone killers, little man. They ain't cuddly like me."

~WuS
This is not my signature, I have to write this every time I post.
Smile && Nod, it makes it seem like you know what's going on.

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Sunday, May 31, 2009 2:11 AM

FLATTOP

Quote:
Originally posted by AG05:
1911's are pointy as hell when you're sleeping on them.

True, true. But after a while, you get used to it & have trouble sleeping unless it's there.

"Shootin' starts, I get excitable; like to have my options."

----------

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Sunday, May 31, 2009 3:35 AM

HEWHOKICKSALOT

It takes all kinds to make the world go ‘round. Unfortunately, some are pedaling in the wrong direction...

For when things get a little hairy at work...

"Sure would be nice if we had some GRENADES, dontcha think?"

But I like my job, and I don't think the folks higher up would see the humor....

Rob O.

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Sunday, May 31, 2009 6:32 AM

RALLEM

Quote:
Originally posted by HeWhoKicksAlot:
For when things get a little hairy at work...

"Sure would be nice if we had some GRENADES, dontcha think?"

But I like my job, and I don't think the folks higher up would see the humor....

Rob O.

ROFL That would be aq definate no in my job.

http://www.swyzzlestyx.com/index.html

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Sunday, May 31, 2009 7:15 AM

TRAINBANDIT

I put together a poetry chapbook for class, and we had to make up a press name. I typed in "Gorram Press." I considered Shiny Press but I like the idea of inserting "gorram" into the middle of finals. Nobody but me knows what I mean.

"Looks like."

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Sunday, May 31, 2009 8:52 AM

LEOPARDFLAN

Never met a girl crazy enough to say this about (well, except maybe me...)-

'Either she'll blow us all up of rub soup in my hair'

Likewise, I've never been able to reply to someone with this...

'I'd go with the soup option. It's a hoot and we won't all die from it'

Heh...

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Sunday, May 31, 2009 9:06 AM

T3HMOTO

hopefully nobody ever has cause to use this one :P

"offering to shoot us might not work so well as an incentive as you might imagine."

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Sunday, May 31, 2009 10:55 AM

RALLEM

Quite specific.
(beat)
It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on
the subject of kneecaps.

http://www.swyzzlestyx.com/index.html

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