Imponderables: Seasonal Visitors by nvghostrider

I hate winter. It went from southern weather to very cold over night ><;; damn new england.

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009 4:41 PM

DANCINGNEKO

Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:
Smart creatures are heading south for the winter. Without Browncoat Island what are we to do?

Support the island state we do have by buying a nearby island and importing stuff in cheap? (Hey, you asked....)

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009 4:48 PM

PEACEKEEPER

Keeping order in every verse

Quote:
Originally posted by freelancertex:
I hate winter. It went from southern weather to very cold over night ><;; damn new england.

I'm flying to New York next week.I hear there is going to be snow?

Peacekeeper---keeping order in every verse!!!

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009 5:49 PM

TRAVELER

Not bad here yet in old Milwaukee. But I am sure we will get our share. These damn Great lakes increase the snowfall. They call it "Lake Effect".
I call it SHIT.

http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=28764731
Traveler

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009 6:20 PM

NICODEMUS

You're all welcome to head this far south, but it's only early spring here, so it's still somewhat cold and wet (at times).

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009 7:52 PM

JEWELSTAITEFAN

Sitting here between Lake Michigan and Lake Superior, it was 29 on Aug 30th, and 29 last night and 30ish tonight.
About time it cooled down, now the riffraff can move south.

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Thursday, October 1, 2009 3:06 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by peacekeeper:
Quote:
Originally posted by freelancertex:
I hate winter. It went from southern weather to very cold over night ><;; damn new england.

flying to New York next week.I hear there is going to be snow?

Peacekeeper---keeping order in every verse!!!
-_ you're not funny, Peacekeeper.

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Thursday, October 1, 2009 4:26 AM

Still pretty nice weather down in Texas

If we could just get rid of the locals.

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Thursday, October 1, 2009 4:51 AM

lucky you -_-

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Thursday, October 1, 2009 6:27 AM

We went from upper 80s to lower 70s almost overnight. It was like 'it's still summer' one day and 'oh crap, it's fall' the next.

Today is suppose to be nice (mid 80s) but will drop again tomorrow or the next day.

With fall comes wind. I HATE the wind. Trying to knock my little Vinnie down while going 45 is NOT nice.

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Thursday, October 1, 2009 8:48 AM

Oh the wind... we've got similar issues Rugbug and I swear some days those gusts nearly send me airborn ( even as huge as I am)

It's definitely cool like fall, but I refuse to get my hopes up because Nevada can turn on you in a second and jump right back to summer... it's kinda like a drunken mother nature sort of swaving about it's summer.. no fall..summer.. fallwinter...

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Thursday, October 1, 2009 9:12 AM

OK here's a ponder I'm discussing with a friend. What's the range of time where "I love you" should start to be said? Is there a "too soon", "too late" and "juuuuuuust right"? For the sake of the discussion we'll say that these are two people who met and started dating right away. Which clears up some of the "well if you've known the person for a year before dating..." type of exceptions.

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Thursday, October 1, 2009 9:20 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug: We went from upper 80s to lower 70s almost overnight. It was like 'it's still summer' one day and 'oh crap, it's fall' the next.

oh pooooor you. I'll trade. :P

*fingers freeze off because for some reason the AC in this school is still running, regardless of the fact that it's only in the mid-50s outside*

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Thursday, October 1, 2009 9:46 AM

HELL'S KITTEN

Quote:
Originally posted by Zeek:
OK here's a ponder I'm discussing with a friend. What's the range of time where "I love you" should start to be said? Is there a "too soon", "too late" and "juuuuuuust right"?

Huh. Oddly enough, I was thinking about something along these lines last night. Unfortunately, with me, there's no easy answer.

When to say it - when you actually feel it. But from my perspective, that's sort of irrelevant when talking about timing. It's the recipient who determines whether it was too soon or too late, and each recipient is going to be different. So, when do *you* want to hear it?

My line of thinking was this: If someone easily, quickly, and frequently falls in love, does their love mean less than someone who may only fall in love once in their life? Guess that's my analytical robot side applying supply / demand scenario to your crazy hooman emotions.

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Thursday, October 1, 2009 10:18 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Hell's Kitten:
My line of thinking was this: If someone easily, quickly, and frequently falls in love, does their love mean less than someone who may only fall in love once in their life? Guess that's my analytical robot side applying supply / demand scenario to your crazy hooman emotions.

I would say it depends on the length of "quickly". To me if a person says it before they actually know their partner then it doesn't mean anything. I clearly don't believe in love at first sight. You can't love someone unless you know who that person is. So, then I guess the question is how long does it take to get to know someone. Maybe I should say, "how well do you need to know someone to love them". The other side of that coin is that you have to balance that it make take a long time to truly know someone. People have a right to know if a relationship is going somewhere.

Anyway, the answer I came up with is somewhere between 1 and 2 years. If you're saying "I love you" before a year of knowing someone then I say it's an illusion. If you still haven't said it after 2 years then you probably aren't in love.

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Thursday, October 1, 2009 10:29 AM

I don't think there's a hard and fast say I love you after this period of time, but I do think you should know the person extremely well first. And by extremely well I mean you should know how they feel about who they are, how they became who they are, how they feel about their family, what they need to be content in a relationship, where they seem themselves in the future, how they handle frustration, disappointment, anger, joy, etc, and how they complement and add to you as a person.

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Thursday, October 1, 2009 10:31 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Zeek:
Anyway, the answer I came up with is somewhere between 1 and 2 years. If you're saying "I love you" before a year of knowing someone then I say it's an illusion. If you still haven't said it after 2 years then you probably aren't in love.

I think your answer may be right for YOU, but it isn't right for every person. You may not be ready to hear that someone loves you before a year, but that doesn't mean someone else isn't...or that they're relationship is an illusion.

As I've gotten older, I've realized that I could date/fall-in-love/marry on a much quicker scale than when I was younger. I use to be of the mind that four years of dating was about right. Now, if it was the right person, a few months might cut it.

This could because I know myself better, I know what I want, what I don't want. I'm no longer willing to right-off huge character flaws because 'he's hawt' or whatever. And I can more easily see what those flaws are without spending years getting to know someone.

Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
I don't think there's a hard and fast say I love you after this period of time, but I do think you should know the person extremely well first. And by extremely well I mean you should know how they feel about who they are, how they became who they are, how they feel about their family, what they need to be content in a relationship, where they seem themselves in the future, how they handle frustration, disappointment, anger, joy, etc, and how they complement and add to you as a person.

For me, that list would be if I was going to marry someone. I think you can be in love with someone and still know that taking a crack at forever is a bad idea.

Should you say you love someone even if you don't think 'forever' is a good idea? Sure.

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Thursday, October 1, 2009 10:32 AM

Don't disagree on any particular point with HK. Say it when you feel like it, when you really feel you can say it. It's on the recipient whether or not the timing is appropriate.

Along your line of thinking though, HK, I don't think it means less if it's coming from someone who falls in love frequently, they just have more love to give, and have more than one person they feel right giving it to. they just need someone who loves them back just as much, and not everyone finds him/her on the first time out. least that's my sentimental hooman view.

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Thursday, October 1, 2009 10:51 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
I don't think there's a hard and fast say I love you after this period of time, but I do think you should know the person extremely well first. And by extremely well I mean you should know how they feel about who they are, how they became who they are, how they feel about their family, what they need to be content in a relationship, where they seem themselves in the future, how they handle frustration, disappointment, anger, joy, etc, and how they complement and add to you as a person.

For me, that list would be if I was going to marry someone. I think you can be in love with someone and still know that taking a crack at forever is a bad idea.

Should you say you love someone even if you don't think 'forever' is a good idea? Sure.

I don't know. I'm with MsA on you need to know those things. Otherwise what is really the basis of that love? If I say I love someone shouldn't I love that person as a whole? Is it ok to be in love with just a sliver of a person cause that's all you know about them? To me if you don't really know the person then the love is an illusion.

One thing my friend brought is up is whether it's hurtful to not say it after a certain amount of time? I thought "yes" at first but thinking it over some more then it's almost saying that a person has to say it before they're personally ready. That's not fair either.

Quick Edit: originally I lumped a little too much into that "I agree with MsA" part. I don't wanna put words into her mouth.

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Thursday, October 1, 2009 11:05 AM

I think we all agree on the "don't be like Ted" notion :P

I don't think you really get to know all sides of someone until you start living with them. That's really the time (IMO) when you realize whether or not you really love them and can live with them. Are they gonna be complete angels all the way around? No. But you find out whether or not you can live with their flaws.

I might just be rambling. :P

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Thursday, October 1, 2009 12:06 PM

TRAVELER

Say it when you feel it. Your partner may not feel the same, but a relationship certainly can survive your being honest. In time your partner will know if they are heading in the same direction and let you know. Just don't push it. You have made your self known and now let your relationship take its course. Like all experiences you have to stumble around and fall a few times before you start walking straight ahead with confidence.
Good luck.

http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=28764731
Traveler

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Thursday, October 1, 2009 1:13 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Zeek:
Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
I don't think there's a hard and fast say I love you after this period of time, but I do think you should know the person extremely well first. And by extremely well I mean you should know how they feel about who they are, how they became who they are, how they feel about their family, what they need to be content in a relationship, where they seem themselves in the future, how they handle frustration, disappointment, anger, joy, etc, and how they complement and add to you as a person.

For me, that list would be if I was going to marry someone. I think you can be in love with someone and still know that taking a crack at forever is a bad idea.

Should you say you love someone even if you don't think 'forever' is a good idea? Sure.

I don't know. I'm with MsA on you need to know those things. Otherwise what is really the basis of that love? If I say I love someone shouldn't I love that person as a whole? Is it ok to be in love with just a sliver of a person cause that's all you know about them? To me if you don't really know the person then the love is an illusion.

One thing my friend brought is up is whether it's hurtful to not say it after a certain amount of time? I thought "yes" at first but thinking it over some more then it's almost saying that a person has to say it before they're personally ready. That's not fair either.

Quick Edit: originally I lumped a little too much into that "I agree with MsA" part. I don't wanna put words into her mouth.

But, some of MsA's list will never be known by some people. Is a person who doesn't know who they are, where they are going or how they get where they are now, unworthy of being loved? Some one can be a complete and total mess and still be loved...truly loved, not just an illusion of it.

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Thursday, October 1, 2009 4:59 PM

maybe I just prefer introspection.. I think you can love all kinds of people, but the true deep permanent love is only with someone who can show you all of themselves...someone who despite growth and change is still the person you love.

You can love someone who's a total mess so long as the both of you know that and it is part of your awareness...

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Friday, October 2, 2009 4:36 AM

can't disagree and couldn't've said it better :P

so does anyone know any techniques to not be anxious? Especially when you've had bad experiences in the past about specified event?

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Friday, October 2, 2009 5:09 AM

RHYIANAN

To completely get rid of anxiety, no. To get through to the other side with your sanity mostly intact, yes. It mostly depends on the event. The best thing you can do is make sure you are as prepared for the event as possible. Actual anxiety attacks can be averted through breathing techniques. Without knowing more, it's impossible to know what else would be helpful in your situation.

...but if all else fails, massive amounts of chocolate can't go amiss.

I'm a leaf on the wind

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Friday, October 2, 2009 5:17 AM

SOLARFLARE

Quote:
Originally posted by freelancertex:
so does anyone know any techniques to not be anxious?

I suffer from the whole anxiety thing. I tried medication, but it made me feel crappy. So, now, when I feel the whole anxiety thing eating me up, I find a quiet place and do some deep breaths. Not exactly scientific, but it helps.

As for the love thing... If you love someone, then you love all of them. Humans have faults. And it makes sense that you could love someone while realizing that their faults means that a more serious relationship is a bad idea.

Anyone who feels like they have to declare their love in the first few hours of each relationship, though, needs to examine why they are doing that. There's something not healthy about it. Since I'm not a psychologist, I can't say exactly what that is, though.

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Friday, October 2, 2009 7:44 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by freelancertex:

so does anyone know any techniques to not be anxious? Especially when you've had bad experiences in the past about specified event?

I feel a little silly answering this because the only anxiety I face is relatively minor in comparison to what a lot of people go through...but mine is very event related.

I occasionally have some anxiety related to jumping horses. I fell in '05 and was injured. While it wasn't extremely serious, it took a long time to recover from physically.

These days, I will sometimes be cantering down to a jump and my brain will start telling me I'm going to crash and die. the whole "this is the jump that's going to kill you" thing. While not likely, it is a possibility (did you know horseback riding is one of the most dangerous activities? It's supposedly more dangerous than motorcycle riding

).

To combat those thoughts, I focus on a few things:

1. Breathing. I take some deep, slow breaths (if possible, sometimes this happens on the way to a jump so there's not a whole lot of time to sit around and breath).

2. I tell my brain* to shut the hell up.

3. I think about my riding checklist...how I need to be riding and how my horse needs to be responding in order to give us the best chance at safely making it over the jump.

4. Then I just do it.

*notice I sort of compartmentalize the thoughts and attribute them to "my brain." This helps me from allowing my body to become frozen in fear....which is the last thing I want to do because it would increase the chances of a crash.

I know this is a petty little example but it's all I've got. Maybe there is a bit of information that could help you?

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Friday, October 2, 2009 8:13 AM

Best advice I ever got...
Figure out what the worst possible outcome is for what's going on and decide how to deal with that. If you know you have a plan for the worst then nothing else seems as distressing. Plus once you've honestly figured out what the worst that could happen is, most times you realize it's not that bad..

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Friday, October 2, 2009 8:45 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
Best advice I ever got...
Figure out what the worst possible outcome is for what's going on and decide how to deal with that. If you know you have a plan for the worst then nothing else seems as distressing. Plus once you've honestly figured out what the worst that could happen is, most times you realize it's not that bad..

Somehow death or serious physical injury doesn't comfort me at all. ;)

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Friday, October 2, 2009 8:52 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
Somehow death or serious physical injury doesn't comfort me at all. ;)

But you can easily form a plan for how to handle it. If dead, then take dirtnap. With your plan ready to go you are all set!

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Friday, October 2, 2009 8:55 AM

Well yeah Rugbug, but you're doing something that's inherently dangerous... most people aren't serious athletes:)

LOL Zeek... well then we might have to follow the U of Florida's zombie disaster plan ( if they hadn't taken it off the website)

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Friday, October 2, 2009 11:20 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Rhyianan: but if all else fails, massive amounts of chocolate can't go amiss.

Oh, I just got a looooot of chocolate for my birthday, so I'm stocked up for that contingency and prepared to use it.

Quote:
Originally posted by MsA: Figure out what the worst possible outcome is for what's going on and decide how to deal with that. If you know you have a plan for the worst then nothing else seems as distressing. Plus once you've honestly figured out what the worst that could happen is, most times you realize it's not that bad..

I've already faced the worst possible outcome for this particular thing, and barely averted it. I don't know if I have the emotional strength to face it again (even though medical discharge might seem minor to some people).

The whole preparing thing (this is about having to PT this weekend, when I was only given TWO WEEKS notice, and my PT test for this year is still current until next June) doesn't really seem to work for me in this situation, because in Basic we were training every day save sunday for six straight weeks, and I still had the worst anxiety attack ever when it came time to do it for real. Same thing happened in tech school a few months later. Now it's hittin' me again (given all the bullshit I've been through with medical), which is why I want it to rain all day tomorrow (it's supposed to pour all weekend, first time I've ever wanted the weathermen to be right). I just don't feel ready, and it's giving me the shakes and freaking me out so I can't sleep at night ><;; I need to calm down in case the weather clears and I still have to go through with it tomorrow (which is what I'm planning for)

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Sunday, October 4, 2009 2:25 AM

*Sunday morning bump* sorry for the tirade :P

no ponders for the moment.

Ok I lied. Why is it sometimes so hard to start an assignment *before* the night before it's due?

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Sunday, October 4, 2009 3:49 AM

BRIGLAD

Quote:
Originally posted by peacekeeper:
Quote:
Originally posted by freelancertex:
I hate winter. It went from southern weather to very cold over night ><;; damn new england.

flying to New York next week.I hear there is going to be snow?

Peacekeeper---keeping order in every verse!!!

Had snow flurries here the other day... I've seen four inches on the first Weekend of October here in Vermont before...

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Sunday, October 4, 2009 12:42 PM

*shiver* Don't talk about snow yet ><;;

Really weird weather in CT though...I mean, yesterday it was cold, dark, and not only rainy, but thundering and lightning like nobody's business. Today it started out cool and foggy, then the sun raaaaaaaandomly came out and The temp all of a sudden shot up 20 degrees O_O

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Monday, October 5, 2009 4:11 AM

HELL'S KITTEN

Thanks, Zeek, I really appreciate it.

Miracle of miracles, I actually got an email from her late last evening. ---

As for me being crazy, I can't say that's an entirely false statement, but it's not at all true in this situation. I know it doesn't matter to you or anyone else, but I hate being lied about. And I, quite frankly, am sick to death of this bullshit. Here are two screen-caps proving that I've emailed her once a week since D*C: two each week to her two email accounts, and once via Facebook.

(((links images removed)))

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Monday, October 5, 2009 4:20 AM

HUGS and HUGS HK... People like that with that kind of behavior is one of the few times I will get on my high horse and rant...
This " nothing is ever my fault victim here " mentality makes me sooooo angry.
You were being kind and generous and got repaid with rudeness and bratty behavior and I am very sorry I can't slap the person for you.

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Monday, October 5, 2009 6:44 AM

Well she really did seem to honestly believe she didn't get any emails. She PMed me that you sent her proof that you did send them and she says she's just baffled about it. Personally I believe her. Whether it was user error or an internet glitch I think she never saw the emails.

Sounds like you two have it all worked out now though. So, at least that's good.

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Monday, October 5, 2009 7:40 AM

HELL'S KITTEN

Quote:
Originally posted by Zeek:
Sounds like you two have it all worked out now though. So, at least that's good.

Yeah, I think so. Thank you very much for your help.

You know her better than I do, so I'll respect your opinion.... This whole fiasco just conflicts with just about everything I've heard about her, so I'm at a complete loss as to why this all happened the way it did. Hopefully, it'll be over in a few days....... ((shrug))

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Monday, October 5, 2009 8:22 AM

Glad to hear you seem to be working things out, HK. Hope it'll all be resolved soon :)

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Monday, October 5, 2009 11:12 AM

Ah confusion..mediation is always helpful

YAY Zeek the great mediator

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Monday, October 5, 2009 12:05 PM

I didn't do much really. Just got communication started. You're welcome though, HK. Glad to hear it's all being resolved.

I think you've heard correctly about her. She's always seemed like a really nice person to me.

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Monday, October 5, 2009 1:13 PM

Brain is jello..plus sides are sore 'cause I did an observation in a first grade music class and all the singing banging etc made the baby bee bop about happily for nearly an hour

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Monday, October 5, 2009 2:04 PM

TRAVELER

So you were treated to the dreaded first grade music class. Just be glad I was not there. I can't sing a note or play an instrument in time with the others.

Just thinking about anxiety makes me nervous. The biggest joke I find is when I am worried about some future event, it is something else that is waiting around the bend for me. But I am still alive and kicking. We pass through trials and forge ahead. Everyone has a Kobayashi Maru. "You just dust yourself off and start all over again."
I think that is a Bing Crosby song.
I love to quote.

http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=28764731
Traveler

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Tuesday, October 6, 2009 2:38 AM

SOLARFLARE

Zeek: Well done! We can now place you in charge of "public relations."

MSA: Got a chuckle out of the phrase "baby bee bop."

FLT: Had an issue with an anxiety flare-up yesterday at work. Was able to get away from my desk and take a 10 minute walk. It really helped.

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Tuesday, October 6, 2009 3:41 AM

Solar: *hugs* sorry :( glad you were able to cool off, though. I think it should be mandatory that if you start feeling uber stressed at work you should be allowed a 30 minute break to collect yourself.

Quote:
Originally posted by MsA: I did an observation in a first grade music class and all the singing banging etc made the baby bee bop about happily for nearly an hour

Sorry your sides are hurting as a result of his unbridled enthusiasm, MsA. It sounds like the kid is gonna be a fan of dancing, or of music in general. or both :P lol

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Tuesday, October 6, 2009 4:19 AM

*Zeek sleepy*

Got up all early to go to the doctor's. Power went out 15 minutes before appointment. Flashlight needs new batteries. Combed hair by candle light. Not great. Got to hospital. Machines down from power outage. Got to wait until the power came back on. Heart is "beautiful" apparently. Got to work. Servers down from power outage. Gonna be a long day.

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Tuesday, October 6, 2009 4:26 AM

HUGS Zeek and his beautiful heart

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

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Tuesday, October 6, 2009 5:07 AM