Jayne's brother by pizmobeach

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Jayne's brother

POSTED BY: PIZMOBEACH
UPDATED: Wednesday, September 22, 2004 12:46
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VIEWED: 7089
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Thursday, September 16, 2004 5:58 AM

... fully loaded, safety off...

Imaginary scene (just before commercial break): Jayne is quietly searching for another “illegal salvager” on an abandoned ship. He hears steps and rounds a corner , gun up and ready. He runs square into another man coming the other way, also with gun up and ready. They both pause, uncertain, adrenaline pumping. Then, the other man says, “Jayne?!” pause, Jayne says, “Sally?!”
Ok, that’s why I don’t write for tv - “Sally” is actually “Sal,” his brother. Whatever - it made me wonder who would the crew’s relatives be? Jean Luc Picard had a brother - who would Mal’s brother be? Kaylie’s sister, Wash’s dad... etc. Ideas?

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Thursday, September 16, 2004 1:48 PM

HELL'S KITTEN

Okay, I know this is really out of left field and all, but remember, you asked. For some strange reason, I always imagine Jayne's brother as being younger (maybe much younger?), named "Matty," who still lives at home and is sick with something... like maybe pneumonia... or tuberculosis... and Jayne - as much of a badass mercenary as he is - still feels the need to send money home to help out his folks and brother. I know, sounds crazy, but... who knows.

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Thursday, September 16, 2004 2:25 PM

SGTGUMP

Man! You guys are awesome. If it wasn't for this site, I would just watch some of the episodes every so often, and that would be it. Now I can, with the help of everyone's insiteful post, Speculate more on the characters as people and ask myself stuff like what would Jayne's brother be like.

Thanks guys.

I love you.

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Thursday, September 16, 2004 2:37 PM

NEWMELBOURNEFAN

I imagine Kaylee having an older brother who once Simon and she get together is very disapproving of their relationship, as he thinks he's not good enough for her blah blah blah, but can't see past his elitist upbringing. Perhaps what Inara is running from is a child or spouse?? Or running to?????

I'm an auteur, with two u's and a little moustache

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Thursday, September 16, 2004 3:43 PM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

As for Kaylee, we know she has a mom and dad. And from the bits and pieces we know about Kaylee ( OoG, OiS) she's not exactly been the shy, good little girl type around the boys. She seems a bit boy crazy. If she DID have an older brother, Simon would be quite different from what Kaylee is usually cat'n around with. No telling what older brother would think of such a fine money man courtin his lil sister.

" They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself. "

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Thursday, September 16, 2004 3:49 PM

QUICKSAND

I gotta disagree (though of course I never once thought about this until you brought it up).

Jayne is either a) an only child (and hence, is spoiled by things like, say, hats) ... or more likely, b) the youngest of at LEAST three. Why do you think he's always beatin' up on people?

Remember, the only time we ever see Jayne back down is for Reavers, and Mal. So if Jayne thinks of Mal as the big brother... well....

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Thursday, September 16, 2004 4:24 PM

ANKHAGOGO

Quote:
Originally posted by Hell's Kitten:
Okay, I know this is really out of left field and all, but remember, you asked. For some strange reason, I always imagine Jayne's brother as being younger (maybe much younger?), named "Matty," who still lives at home and is sick with something... like maybe pneumonia... or tuberculosis... and Jayne - as much of a badass mercenary as he is - still feels the need to send money home to help out his folks and brother. I know, sounds crazy, but... who knows.

I bet that's cause in The Message the letter Jayne gets from his mom says something about "...as Maddie is still sick with the damp lung." Notice how I spelled it? Personally, I think it's a little sister. That is partially because Mr. J. Whedon loves to have little sisters or little sister-figures in his shows for people to be protective of (Willow, Dawn, River, Kaylee, Fred). I haven't looked at that script, though -- guess it could be "Matty" just as easily.

Eomer: "Hi! Stop me if you've heard this one ...an elf, a dwarf, and a man walk into the Riddermark..."

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Thursday, September 16, 2004 5:38 PM

WALTERPIPP

I see Jayne as the youngest of five brothers, all in law enforcement:
Marion Cobb--oldest brother, formerly chief law enforcement officer, now mayor, played by Ed O'Neill;
Morgan Cobb--next oldest, now chief law enforcement officer, played by Randy Quaid;
Joyce Cobb--next in line, police sergeant, played by Tom Selleck;
Gayle Cobb--patrol officer, played by Randall "Tex" Cobb (Serendipity! A Cobb playing a Cobb!)

I see the father as either dead or run off. If we need to see the father in flashbacks, I see him being played by Brian Dennehy

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Thursday, September 16, 2004 6:25 PM

MELEAUX

Quote:
Originally posted by WalterPipp:
I see Jayne as the youngest of five brothers, all in law enforcement:
Marion Cobb--oldest brother, formerly chief law enforcement officer, now mayor, played by Ed O'Neill;
Morgan Cobb--next oldest, now chief law enforcement officer, played by Randy Quaid;
Joyce Cobb--next in line, police sergeant, played by Tom Selleck;
Gayle Cobb--patrol officer, played by Randall "Tex" Cobb (Serendipity! A Cobb playing a Cobb!)

I see the father as either dead or run off. If we need to see the father in flashbacks, I see him being played by Brian Dennehy

Okay I go along with all of that except not Tom Selleck. I dunno he just don't fit. How about Jim Belushi? Your suggestion of Randy Quaid mad me laugh out loud.
Briean Dennehy could definatly be Dad but not run off or dead. He's probably sittin' on the couch woth a brewsky watchin the game

By the way, your "No pithy tagline" is a pithy tagline

She understands, she doesn't comprehend

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Thursday, September 16, 2004 7:07 PM

WALTERPIPP

Quote:
Originally posted by meleaux:
Quote:
Originally posted by WalterPipp:
Joyce Cobb--next in line, police sergeant, played by Tom Selleck;

Okay I go along with all of that except not Tom Selleck. I dunno he just don't fit. How about Jim Belushi? Your suggestion of Randy Quaid mad me laugh out loud.
Briean Dennehy could definatly be Dad but not run off or dead. He's probably sittin' on the couch woth a brewsky watchin the game

I'm not married to the Tom Selleck thing; I was just trying to think of large, recognizable male actors older than Adam Baldwin. How 'bout Michael Madsen instead?

The only problem with Brian Dennehy as a CURRENT father is that he wouldn't look old enough next to these four. That's why he'd be good for flashbacks.

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Thursday, September 16, 2004 8:23 PM

THEMANTHEYCALLALAN

Jewel's husband, who goes by the name Matty, asked me a trivia question about the name of Jayne's brother. Sadly, I failed, since I couldn't remember the name, but that would lead me to believe that perhaps Joss & Tim named Jayne's brother "Matty" after Jewel's husband. Just a theory....

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Friday, September 17, 2004 1:50 AM

HELL'S KITTEN

Quote:
Originally posted by Ankhagogo:
Quote:
Originally posted by Hell's Kitten:
Okay, I know this is really out of left field and all, but remember, you asked.
I bet that's cause in The Message the letter Jayne gets from his mom says something about "...as Maddie is still sick with the damp lung." Notice how I spelled it? Personally, I think it's a little sister.

What?? Noooo.... I guess it's feasible that that's where I got it. Considering the shooting script reads:

"Thank you for the credits you forwarded, they have helped as MATTY is still sick with the Damplung. HE waves hello, and so does your father. He is in good spirits and there was layoffs but the foreman said no one can weld like a Cobb so he has employment still. I made you the enclosed" --

I guess Haken needs a sarcast-emot-icon or something. Anyway, whether or not they named him after Jewel's then-boyfriend is anyone's guess. Sure sounds reasonable. Now, who was Jayne Cobb named after? (This is actually in one of the writers drafts. Kinda neat trivia, if you like trivia.)

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Friday, September 17, 2004 2:51 AM

BROWNCOAT1

May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.

I think the idea of Kaylee having an older, protective brother would be great. It would make for a very interesting episode or fan fic.

I don't see Zoe having any siblings.

Wash I could see having a brother, maybe a little younger. He is a hot shot pilot for some private corporate type. His brother wears Hawaiian shirts too and is as funny or funnier than Wash. Maybe in a fan fic he might make a pass at Zoe and wacky fun insues.

Inara might have a younger sister who she is very protective of and sends money to back home. Her sister would be something other than a companion, maybe not as pretty and really self conscious.

Mal? Now Mal I have a good one for him. Mal would have an older brother who fought for the Alliance during the war. This would cause some real interesting fan fic as they have always been at odds with one another and they took opposite sides during the war. They never really resolved any of their issues and haven't spoke since the war. Mal's brother would be charming and try to make a play for Inara. Mal would have a good ol' fashioned fist fight across the cargo hold ending with him admitting his feelings for Inara.

"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one."

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Friday, September 17, 2004 4:02 AM

PIZMOBEACH

... fully loaded, safety off...

I see Kaylee having 3 or more brothers, with her being the youngest, and her family being “simple” farmers (kind of like the family in the Wizard of Oz - heh). This would explain her tomboyish nature and her sense of family. Her brothers were very protective of her and Mal is now a surrogate big brother (explains some of the hugs he gives her). The family has a modest farm and just gets by which explains her interest/curiosity for Simon who comes from such a different lifestyle.
AURAPTOR: I agree - if any of her family met Simon they’d probably try and tell her she was nuts, “he’s too fancy - not your type!” Maybe they'd even confront him seperately and try and spook him - or maybe they'd all get drunk together and find out he's ok...

Jayne’ - he and his mom are obviously close, so what turned him into “bad” guy? Maybe he has to steal to send money home as suggested in The Message? Maybe his Dad has “dependancy issues” and can’t hold a job so Jayne has to be the soul provider. He has no schooling so the quickest way to get money is to steal. I imagine his family moving around a lot when he was young, that’s why he tends to be a follower and a bit of a loner. Sal is Jayne’s only older brother, much older, that left home when Jayne was 14 and they never heard from after that, leaving Jayne to be the man of the house. Jayne sees a little of his older brother in Mal.
Or... WALTERPIPP - I like the “Jayne is the youngest of a bunch of brothers idea” - would the family be like the Earps or the Clantons?

Inara - has a sister, they are very close. Dad was a good man in her eyes but he left home (I’m breaking up families left and right) when she was young and her mother is no longer alive (brutal).

Zoe: Dad career military too.

Wash? BROWNCOAT1:

“Wash I could see having a brother, maybe a little younger. He is a hot shot pilot for some private corporate type. His brother wears Hawaiian shirts too and is as funny or funnier than Wash. Maybe in a fan fic he might make a pass at Zoe and wacky fun insues. “
Maybe even a twin?? Too much maybe...

Book? Absolutely no clue!

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Friday, September 17, 2004 6:35 AM

RIJPE

I suspect that Wash is considered a "disappointment" to his father. Perhaps being a pilot was acceptable, but he ran off with the crew of Serenity partly to defy his father. I imagine his father as a man with absolutely no sense of humor, and not very affectionate.

I read something somewhere about the idea of Wash having a lot of conflict with his father, who was played by Clint Eastwood. At the time, I assumed that it was the script for an upcoming episode, but since there is no such script to my knowledge, perhaps it was a review of a fanfic or just some idle speculation.

If Wash did have a father like I've described, he probably was under the most pressure from his dad because he was first born. He probably has a younger brother that Wash's dad is proud of, even though Wash despises him (and perhaps is a bit jealous that his younger brother gets the attention of his father).

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Friday, September 17, 2004 9:04 AM

CAT85

I could see Jayne with bunch of brothers (some older and younger) and they would be just like Jayne-big, clueless, momma's boys but sell you out for 5 thou'.

Kaylee with two older brothers both mechanics, and love ships.

Zoe, I don't see having any brothers or sisters, just her father- who is missing or died.

I agree with Browncoat1- Wash having a brother, like a twin brother and making a pass at Zoe.

Book and Inara I could see them having either a brother or a sister, or being an only child.

Mal I could see with a borther who's a fed or who died in the war.

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Friday, September 17, 2004 5:42 PM

PIZMOBEACH

... fully loaded, safety off...

Mal's brother is definitely Allliance. It makes him even more hardcore Independance. That brother competition thing - like in the American civil war, a thorn that won't go away.

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Friday, September 17, 2004 6:25 PM

ZOID

Hell's Kitten wrote:

Quote:
Now, who was Jayne Cobb named after? (This is actually in one of the writers drafts. Kinda neat trivia, if you like trivia.)

Ummm... Mansfield? Guess if that's foreshadowing, then Jayne'll be losing his tater, too.

Just off the top of my head,

zoid

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Saturday, September 18, 2004 9:27 AM

CYBERSNARK

I've posted earlier and elsewhere about Mal's brother being named Bene (or maybe just "Benny"). Bene being Latin for "good," of course.

Bene would have to be evil, of course. And probably real dour & humourless too. Otherwise it just wouldn't be ironical.

Quote:
Originally posted by BrownCoat1:
Wash I could see having a brother, maybe a little younger. He is a hot shot pilot for some private corporate type. His brother wears Hawaiian shirts too and is as funny or funnier than Wash.

Played by Gordon Michael Wolvett?

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Saturday, September 18, 2004 11:56 AM

ANKHAGOGO

Quote:
Originally posted by Hell's Kitten:
Quote:
Originally posted by Ankhagogo:
Quote:
Originally posted by Hell's Kitten:
Okay, I know this is really out of left field and all, but remember, you asked.

Quote:
I bet that's cause in The Message the letter Jayne gets from his mom says something about "...as Maddie is still sick with the damp lung." Notice how I spelled it? Personally, I think it's a little sister.
What?? Noooo.... I guess it's feasible that that's where I got it. Considering the shooting script reads:
"Thank you for the credits you forwarded, they have helped as MATTY is still sick with the Damplung. HE waves hello, and so does your father. He is in good spirits and there was layoffs but the foreman said no one can weld like a Cobb so he has employment still. I made you the enclosed" --I guess Haken needs a sarcast-emot-icon or something.

Heh. Yeah, I guess he does. But then again, you have NO IDEA how many discussions I've had along the lines of "for some reason, I just picture Wesley's dad as a total overbearing jackass who's very disappointed in Wes and possibly abusive" where the speaker really thought they'd come up with that on their own. I've learned to be careful on-line about assuming people are being sarcastic.

"Where I come from, we have a saying: "When you yoo-hoo in the forest, the yoo-hoo that you yoo-hoo will come back to you."
"Where did you say you were from again?"

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Saturday, September 18, 2004 2:35 PM

WATFALHURST

Mal tells YoSaffBrig about his "family" in Our Mrs Reynolds, he grew up on a ranch raised by his mom and about 40 hands I can't remember if he denies having any brothers or sisters though I'm sure he said he never knew his dad - guess it's time to watch it again

I like the idea of Jayne having a bunch of like minded brotheres all with "girls names" that have "y's" in them

Kaylee is definitely the only girl in an all male household - her "ma" is a resreved homemkaer who let's "pa" make all the decisions, Kaylee is "daddy's little girl who is hell on wheels fro trouble" when she was growing up she always blamed everything that went wrong on monkeys and sometimes space monkeys at that. Although she did finally perfect the inter engine fermentation device that she could never get right as a child.

some people juggle geese

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Saturday, September 18, 2004 5:57 PM

WALTERPIPP

Quote:
Originally posted by pizmobeach:
I like the “Jayne is the youngest of a bunch of brothers idea” - would the family be like the Earps or the Clantons?

Definitely the Earps. As the youngest, he might've turned to a life of crime as a rebellion against his older, coddling siblings. It also explains why he doesn't go back home: If he went home, his brothers, as lawmen, would have to arrest him, although they wouldn't want to.

As far as Wash is concerned, I don't have a clear picture of any of his siblings, but I would cast Tim Thomerson as his father.

Finally, I could see Mal having an older, Alliance-leaning brother, played by Bruce Boxleitner or Scott Bakula.

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Sunday, September 19, 2004 2:30 AM

PIZMOBEACH

... fully loaded, safety off...

Walter Pipp - great casting for Wash's dad - Tim Thomerson - took a look at imdb and recognize the character actor - always plays a kind of wild, crazy type - definitely have son like Wash.

Hell's Kitten - totally unrelated to this thread, but I noticed another FFF.net thread where you posted some pics of some VERY nice Jayne shirts you were working on. The response was amazing (maybe a bit overwhelming?) but I didn't see anything from you as to whether you were going to be able to make them available. I know Alex of bluesunshirts.com said he would be happy to provide any assistance as he's a huge fan, loves your designs and just wants to see as much Firefly "stuff" walking around as possible. He also happens to be a commercial printer. I have 2 of his shirts and can vouch for the quality as many others can on this board. Just curious - I'll go back to minding my own business now.

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Sunday, September 19, 2004 4:36 AM

EST120

Quote:
Originally posted by Ankhagogo:
I bet that's cause in The Message the letter Jayne gets from his mom says something about "...as Maddie is still sick with the damp lung." Notice how I spelled it? Personally, I think it's a little sister.

i could be reading something that is not completely accurate, but the script i read said about matty: "he waves hello.." so i assume it is a brother. of course, there is always the possiblity that jayne has other siblings too. also, what i read had the letter saying from jayne's mother "thanks for the credits you forwarded.." how nice.

jayne looking after his family.

"my grandmother always said, "this too, shall pass."
-the bellman

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Sunday, September 19, 2004 7:23 AM

the movie is not the Series. Only the facts have been changed, to irritate the innocent; the names of the actors and characters remain the same

Quote:
Originally posted by Cybersnark:
I've posted earlier and elsewhere about Mal's brother being named Bene (or maybe just "Benny"). Bene being Latin for "good," of course.

And, conveniently, short for Benito.

Keep the Shiny Side Up

Wutzon: SRV, "Crossfire"

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Sunday, September 19, 2004 1:54 PM

BROWNCOATFAN1

i could imagine wash having a younger sister. her name could be jen or someting like that. she could have fought in the war. she could have been a war hero. maybe even his twin.

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Monday, September 20, 2004 4:51 AM

BROWNCOAT1

May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.

Quote:
Originally posted by Cybersnark:
I've posted earlier and elsewhere about Mal's brother being named Bene (or maybe just "Benny"). Bene being Latin for "good," of course.

Bene would have to be evil, of course. And probably real dour & humourless too. Otherwise it just wouldn't be ironical.

Quote:
Originally posted by BrownCoat1:
Wash I could see having a brother, maybe a little younger. He is a hot shot pilot for some private corporate type. His brother wears Hawaiian shirts too and is as funny or funnier than Wash.
Played by Gordon Michael Wolvett?

Gordon Michael Wolvett would be a fantastic choice as Wash's younger brother!

"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one."

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Tuesday, September 21, 2004 4:14 PM

SHANYU

I think that Jayne would have a brother and/or sister, he would HAVE to be the first born, he family would be poor, his mom doesnt know that he is a theif and most likely thinks that he has a real good paying legitimate job.

Zoe is an only child i cant imagine any siblings.

Inara i would think never met her parents and one day she would a good new episode

Mal i think that he has a brotehr or sister that at one point was killled by the alliance then he made the choice to join the Browncoats in their fight.

Kaylee is the younge spoiled one of her family, her dad would be a mechanic and she watcehd him fix things which helped her become one, one day. she would have an older brotehr very protective.

Shepard Book well id like to hear some good theorys about him and his past, his connection to the alliance, and what jubal meant when he said he wasnt a preacher (he seemed to know everything about all of them)i'll post a forum for this topic cuase it could go into a lot of detail

Then For the Simon and river well u know all about them.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
"You can live with a man for fourty years , share his meals, talk on every subject, then tie him up, and hold him over the volanoes edge. And on that day, you will finally meet the man"

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Tuesday, September 21, 2004 4:46 PM

SHANYU

I forgot Wash how "Ta ma duh" "Tzao-goa" sry bout that Wash my friend ur a great man greatest in this verse, BUT anyway time to think up something really good for you seeing as how i forgot you Alright here it is Wash enjoy i wored extra hard on this one...

Ok so Wash will have a Brotehr - Younger - Who has a daughter ,Washes Neice, wash is the cool uncle that the kids look up too, Wash wants to have kids a bunch of little gorram washes running around but sadly Zoe cannot have kids or there is some sorta problem which stops them from having children. Washes dad died before in a plane crash (or ship crash something like that,) whick made wash scared of heights for a long time but then his mom got him into the air and he really enjoyed it, so he then became a great pilot.

There u go wash my friend i made this little thing up instead of doing homework, be proud... I think im gnnan faill english because this is so much more fun

"You can live with a man for fourty years , share his meals, talk on every subject, then tie him up, and hold him over the volanoes edge. And on that day, you will finally meet the man"

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Wednesday, September 22, 2004 4:57 AM

CYBERSNARK

Quote:
Originally posted by ShanYu:
Wash wants to have kids a bunch of little gorram washes running around but sadly Zoe cannot have kids or there is some sorta problem which stops them from having children.

Other way around, actually; in "Heart of Gold" (IIRC) we see them fighting over it. Zoe wants kids, but Wash doesn't think they should raise them on the ship (& in danger).

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Wednesday, September 22, 2004 6:23 AM

IDRISFENN

The sibling situation is an interesting one. I love the idea that Wash has a twin def. would have to be more sucessful.

Zoe I def. think she is an only child. I can't decide whether her mother wanted her or didn't. There is def. some conflict there. But I love the fact that on the issue of children it is she who is pushing for children when it would have been so easy to have done it the other way.

Jayne I love the idea that he has other siblings at least three other brothers - that would account for the fighting but also I like the idea that at least one of them died as a result of a barfight. But I see a picture of him being a godfather or "uncle" to this really hot blond haired blue eyed girl who if they were not related something could happen and he is really really protective over her, and doesn't want to know that she is sexually active(love the idea of a doublestandard and the idea of something making Jayne blush!). But he doesn't make friends well that are long lasting and close so that theory is a bit thin.

Mal he had to have had a younger sister hence the whole Kaylee thing, but one that was killed by the Alliance's neglect. Either they flattened his home and community to make way for something for some bigwig or vital supplies were diverted so the ordinary people suffered and died.

Inara for the life of me I can not see. Either for some reason a bitter (Miss Haversham type) mother sent her to become a companion or she is doing this as a way to avoid becoming like her mother i.e. not to be used etc and finds she likes it...

Kaylee might be the only girl of a brood of guys. All she has to connect to them is the whole machine thing and the sex is a release. So her leaving might actually mean one less mouth to feed.

Just a wild one but I like the idea that Mrs Tam miscarried at least one child between River and Simon and for some reason Simon has forgotten about that dreadful time.

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Wednesday, September 22, 2004 12:06 PM

HELL'S KITTEN

Quote:
Originally posted by Ankhagogo:
Quote:
I've learned to be careful on-line about assuming people are being sarcastic.

Okay, fair enough! So... does that mean you'll create a sarcast-emot-icon for me to use? I'd promise to use it wisely and not abuse it.

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Wednesday, September 22, 2004 12:46 PM

HELL'S KITTEN

Quote:
Originally posted by pizmobeach:
Hell's Kitten - totally unrelated to this thread, but I noticed another FFF.net thread where you posted some pics of some VERY nice Jayne shirts you were working on. The response was amazing (maybe a bit overwhelming?) but I didn't see anything from you as to whether you were going to be able to make them available. I know Alex of bluesunshirts.com said he would be happy to provide any assistance as he's a huge fan, loves your designs and just wants to see as much Firefly "stuff" walking around as possible. He also happens to be a commercial printer. I have 2 of his shirts and can vouch for the quality as many others can on this board. Just curious - I'll go back to minding my own business now.

(Yeah, okay, it was a bit overwhelming.) I'm still working on it, though, I promise. I've just been overly busy with this real-life thing I've been fiddling with over the years. Kinda sometimes gets in the way. For anyone interested who hasn't seen the thread, here's the link:

http://fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=13&t=6488

The more days that go by without me getting my shirts, the more I consider working with that seemingly nice Alex fellow from bluesunshirts.com.

Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:
Hell's Kitten wrote:
Quote:
Now, who was Jayne Cobb named after? (This is actually in one of the writers drafts. Kinda neat trivia, if you like trivia.)

Ummm... Mansfield? Guess if that's foreshadowing, then Jayne'll be losing his tater, too.

Interesting guess. Didn't think of that myself. And, though I'm not sure what a 'tater' is, unless it's a wig and Jayne wears one, I doubt he'll be losing it.

Ben Edlund gave Jayne the last name "Cobb" - and I'm quoting him from the 09/04/02 writer's draft - "...because it's the last name of the orneriest baseball-playin' motherf*cker in the history of the sport. There's nothing more American than baseball, and there's no one more American than Jayne." Completely useless trivia, but there ya go.

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