GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Male and Female Imponderables-Let's do it

POSTED BY: MSG
UPDATED: Saturday, October 7, 2006 07:15
SHORT URL:
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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 2:50 PM

TRAVELER


Well I would say age should not make a difference, but I have seen two couples break up that had more than ten years difference in their ages. It was the women who were older and I must admit I am angry with the men because I felt they weren't very sincere in these relationships. It was like you are fine for now because there is no one else around and then when a younger woman does show up and its, "thanks for the ride and good-by." Makes you realize why a lot of women think were such, got to keep it clean here, jerks. Needless to say I don't hang out with those guys anymore.


Traveler

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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 3:01 PM

RMMC


As I'll take that question to mean between conscenting adults, if the age difference doesn't matter to the participants, no one else's opinion matters.

But, that's not what you asked, so...Yes, I'd look at folks a bit funny with a large age difference in their relationship, mostly because I just can't figure out how they'd have enough in common to make a long term go of it.

But...yes, the higher the ages involved, the greater a gap it would take for me to question it. Ie: a twenty year old and forty year old in a relationship I'd wonder at. A seventy year old and fifty year old would be less of an eyebrow raiser. I have no idea why this is, unless it's my being a slave to social mores.


********
RMMC
"Those grenades?"
"Captain don't want 'em."
"Jayne, we're robbing the place, we're not occupying it."

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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 3:26 PM

VERSEEXPLORER


JamesTheDark,
You tickle me - cantankerous 70 year old trapped in a 21 year old body.

Age doesn't matter as long is both are of legal age. I've dated younger and older men. A good man is a good man no matter what age. The years span have a small importance, but it's not an impossible bridge to cross. The 5 to 10 year span is more sociably accepted, and the 10 to 20 year span is still seen as not the norm. I feel if the 2 people are fine it's not anyone else business.


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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 3:32 PM

VERSEEXPLORER


Aaaaaaah, jerks - that's a different question. There are a few men (and women too) that are only with someone until something better comes along. I think that happens even when the couple are the same age.


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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 3:37 PM

TRAVELER


I remember in highschool you were cool, showing my age with that word, if you dated someone the next grade up. That is only one year difference. It does show how our perception changes as we age.

VerseExplorer your right. I actually think these jerks would do it to anyone of any age, because these women were special. They certainly did not deserve these guys.


Traveler

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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 3:53 PM

VERSEEXPLORER


Quote:

Traveler wrote:
these women were special


Hopefully they have recovered from the experience. Losing love is a crushing experience.
How about you? If Priscilla Lawson were alive, would you consider dating her? I'm being silly. You don't have to answer.


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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 3:59 PM

TRISTAN


Thank you all for your help...I finally managed to escape! Granted, it was at 5:00...but at least now I have ideas for the next time!

______________________________________

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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 4:02 PM

VERSEEXPLORER


Maybe the trick should be turning up the clock, so everyone thinks it's 5:00 PM. You wouldn't have to worry about a disguise.


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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 4:13 PM

RMMC


Quote:

Originally posted by VerseExplorer:
Maybe the trick should be turning up the clock, so everyone thinks it's 5:00 PM. You wouldn't have to worry about a disguise.



He'd have to hack all the computers, too. (Just look at the bottom right corner of the screen. )

Maybe if he put up a lightning rod right where the electrical and phone wires connect to the building.....Not that I'd advocate such a thing, mind you.


********
RMMC
"Those grenades?"
"Captain don't want 'em."
"Jayne, we're robbing the place, we're not occupying it."

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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 4:21 PM

VERSEEXPLORER


Aaaaaaaah, yes, computer clocks. How could I forget? Maybe he could buy little magnets to attach to each of the computers by the clock corner. On second thought maybe the disguise would be easier.


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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 4:23 PM

TRAVELER


I really should stop talking about it. I'm only getting angry again. A waist of time. But one woman completely broke ties with everybody she knew, because she was so embarassed. I have only heard about her through friends who have bumped into her around town. So, yes, she was hurt bad by it. I wonder if she will ever trust another guy again/

Lets see I was six and Priscilla was twenty something. I was too immature for her then and I'm sure I would be to immature for her now.


I aim to grow up
Traveler

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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 4:25 PM

WHITEFALL


Hi all... not sure we're pondering anything at the moment... but uh.... I think Magda's pretty. Since the names/faces thread seems to have died, thought i'd mention that.

Anyhoos, one of these days, i'll find a camera and show you guys my ugly mug.

In the meantime...... anyone know the meaning to life?

And anyone thing I could start a firefly club at my school? So... tempting. If I wasnt busy out of my mind... hmm... i know at least 8 people off the top of my head who'd probably join.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon.

"We take all the money we got saved right now, we could maybe buy a moderately sized gerbil." -Mal

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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 4:39 PM

VERSEEXPLORER


Whitefall,
Yes, according to Douglas Adams, the answer to the meaning of life is 42. If you need more proof, check out the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Yes, you should most definitely start a Firefly club. Eight is the perfect number to start the group.


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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 4:50 PM

VERSEEXPLORER


*Hugs for Traveler*
Quote:

I aim to grow up

What are you going to be when you do grow up?


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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 5:01 PM

RMMC


Quote:

Originally posted by traveler:
I really should stop talking about it. I'm only getting angry again. A waist of time. But one woman completely broke ties with everybody she knew, because she was so embarassed. I have only heard about her through friends who have bumped into her around town. So, yes, she was hurt bad by it. I wonder if she will ever trust another guy again/




That's sad. She had nothing to be ashamed about. the twat who dumped her should have a plastic bad over his head. (Sorry- I'm a bit hormonal right now.) Good wishes to her and the other ladies.

Wishing IRS audits on the 'gents.'

I also know someone who was the sole support when her husband worked his way through med school and residency...and once he got his MD he dumped her like last week's news and hooked up with an 18 year old bimbo. *slap**slap**slap*



********
RMMC
"Those grenades?"
"Captain don't want 'em."
"Jayne, we're robbing the place, we're not occupying it."

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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 5:01 PM

TRAVELER


I will dance all night
And greet the Sun in the morning
I will climb the tallest tree
And sway in its branches when the wind blows
I will lay on the grass at midnight
And count the stars one by one
I will laugh at no one
Because no one is a fool


Traveler

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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 5:14 PM

VERSEEXPLORER


Traveler,
Sweet words! What a wonderful way to grow up.


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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 5:32 PM

TRAVELER


Hello VerseExplorer:

Don't ask me where that came from. I guess I needed to do something joyful after discussing those two jerks. Next time I will come up with an imponderable on a much more pleasant a topic.


Traveler

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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 6:33 PM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


Quote:

Originally posted by DesktopHippie:
Well, if we're going for cheesy sci-fi then we ~have~ to include the 80's Flash Gordon movie! The characters, the costumes, the I-have-steroids-for-breakfast leading man, the soundtrack - by Queen no less! It's just great!



Ooooh - yes - even as a teenager I knew it was just sooooooo cheesy - but I liked it then & if I got to see it now I would still like it - I'm sure!

There's a line something like, Princess Aura: "Flash I love you, but we only have ... hours to save the world!" ... and the Queen music!!!

EDIT: OK... will write out 100 times - I will read all the thread before responding, I will read all the thread before responding...


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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 7:17 PM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


Hmmm... there is a real ponderance now... let me see...

I have never viewed age as much of a relevence - mind you I had a good friend make a move on me and he has a son my age, though my decision to decline his kind suggestion was more to do with the fact that he had a de facto than the age difference - and he also later dated a friend the same age as me - I just knew I couldn't ever trust him!

My cousin was 32 & her husband 19 when they started dating - she was so very resisitent at first, she saw him as a 'boy' & since she is a teacher he wasn't much older than some of her pupils... but they have now been married for 12 years, and have 3 kids, and though they will be the first to tell you it's hard work they are a wonderful family with really strong values!

I have dated both younger and older men in a serious fashion - though mostly younger! I would certainly consider both much-older & much-younger coz you never know when you will find 'the one', it's got to be a lot more about the chemistry than the age - though I don't think I could imagine dating someone my father's age...?

And dear, sweet Whitefall! I am 39 - does that make me too old for you?? I actually don't know how I got to be 39 - I blinked and there I was! I'm sure I am somewhere around the 28 mark! Thank you for the compliment though - you are totally sweet and I do want to see those photos of you one day!

RMMC - I am sure I heard of a jilted wife who supported her husband through med school who successfully sued him for loss of potential income... he'd promised her that once he was qualified they'd start a family and she could stay home while he brought in the bacon... then buggered off with a younger chick - she won too... wish I could remember when/where that happened!

Traveler - My last multi-date was 47, but is 39 too young for you? Why are you single?? And why are you on the other side of the world? It seems I keep finding these wonderful men on line and not in real life... Oh well... *sigh*


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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 7:34 PM

VERSEEXPLORER


Magda,
You have such words of wisdom. Hopefully they will get a chance to read your comments when they wake up tomorrow.

I just checked out Whedonesque. There is a guy that has made a shirt in response to Joss' comment about no sequel right now. Check it out.

http://blackmarketbeagles.com/blog7/2006/10/04/i-will-never-stop-belie
ving
/

I love Browncoats! We are soooo optimistic.


I made a web site to introduce my friends to the 'Verse. (Magda said I should share it.) If you want to, check it out.
http://web.mac.com/arcadianlc

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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 7:44 PM

WHITEFALL


I try. But no age relation puns please. I just saw that the thread was dead so thought I'd copy over. And I do hope I've complemented Rose and the many other mighty fine looking folk sometime in the past, twas just the first I saw of the mighty Magda.

Urgh, ok, off to bed, I really need to stop putting off my homework until i'm too tired then gettng up at 5am to do it. It doesnt seem healthy.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon.

"We take all the money we got saved right now, we could maybe buy a moderately sized gerbil." -Mal

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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 8:02 PM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


Hey - that T-shirt is so cool! If I had some spare money this week... Thanks VX - tis always good to see you here! *hugs*

Whitefall - it is a habit you don't nescessarily grow out of - I keep staying up late on the computer - corresponding, posting, playing with different sites and then realising that to get things I need to get done by the next day I will manage about 4 hours sleep - not good!

Slep well though - Magda x x x


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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 10:52 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Good morning, everyone! I slept until a nice hour of the night, around nine, then just lay there enjoying the nice warmth and idleness and I woke up at midnight. Heh.
I want a 'never stop believing' shirt! Gorrammit, I'm spending too much money lately on the 'verse. I need to eeeeaaat!
Um, age difference. I'm sure we've discussed this, but it was a very long while ago.
Ok, so here's the thing. Dating someone old enough to be a parent, as old as one of your parents or older than your parents equals totally fked up. I'm sorry. It's not 'just a number'. Where you are in life, how much life you have left, what you have experienced, all depends on your age. Women who date way older men are either gold diggers or have some MAJOR daddy issues in most cases. Men who date way older women I think are the same way. There are fewer male gold diggers, but I think they exist, and there are probably more men with mommy issues than would admit it. I've run into quite a few who want their girlfriends to take care of them like a mother. Maybe there's also the 'this is all I can get right now and they have experience and are good in bed'. I understand having the attraction, I do. Whatever it's to, it's there and I get that. But thinking there won't be ridiculous amounts of hurdles to jump is very naive. Thinking there's absolutely no underlying issues is likewise.
I'd love to find maturity in a relationship, since I've dated some very immature characters, but maybe I draw the immaturity because I am in fact still pretty young. I met Ex of Doom when I was nineteen, and he was very immature for his age. We were in about the same place. I grew a lot in the two years we were together and he didn't. So I have no reason to think an older man would actually be more mature. Maybe they would be, maybe not, it depends on the person. It's nice that people can say that if you find the right person it shouldn't matter what age they are, but that's not realistic. There are reasons most of those relationships don't last. The ones that do, I think, are either full of ignoring problems, or the older partner is totally dominant and the younger is willingly submissive. Which goes back to the parental model. I would feel totally icky getting into bed with someone who looked like my dad. I hope most people would. And expecting a partner or spouse to take care of you like a parent is weird. It's just totally weird.
That aside, I know there are exceptions to every rule. I wish everyone in the world nothing but happiness in their love lives, and I know problems are not limited to vast age differences.
At this point in my life I would not want to date someone older than my brother. He's nearly seven years older, and that is plenty. Much as I would want to, I'm not sure I could actually relate to someone who was much older. Even a lot of people a few years older than me can be in a totally different place in their lives than me. I might be mature in a lot of ways, but there are many things I have not done. It makes relating to them difficult, being able to talk about the same things and the same experiences. This kind of communication gap does start shrinking as you get older, but I don't think it ever totally disappears.
So, now I've ranted a bit about that. I know most of you do not agree, and that is of course fine. Just putting another viewpoint out there.

http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com - show Universal your gratitude!

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow in sunlight. - Gautama Siddharta

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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 11:17 PM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


Mei Mei! Hello dearest! (I'm in Haven...)

I understand where you're coming from - it's just that for all the ones that have failed I have seen a few succeed magnificently - so I won't be drawing a line in the sand anytime soon! It's all a state of mind anyway - my very best friend who knows me inside out is 6 years younger than me! 2nd best friend is just 4 months younger so...

Love you Phoenix Rose - you and I are... ah... *mumble/coughs 18years into her hand* different but we are happily adopted as sisters!! OK so that's totally different but...

see you soon - your Jie Jie! Magda x x x


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Wednesday, October 4, 2006 11:24 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Oh, I think friendship it totally different. Of course I love my jie-jie! And my best friend in the flesh, who I share a brain with and would swear we were separated twins if that was even possible, is I think 5 years older than me. But 5 years isn't that much, if you think about it.
And I'm sure there are areas of gray, and no solid lines, I'm just saying in general terms I think it's a pretty dysfunctional relationship to have. I didn't even mention the ego thing of most older (usually men) who want 'trophies'. And the issues assosiated with dating someone yound enough to be your child. It does go both ways with the dysfunction.
*heads over to Haven*

http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com - show Universal your gratitude!

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow in sunlight. - Gautama Siddharta

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Thursday, October 5, 2006 1:25 AM

SMARTBUTDUMBBLONDE


*sniff*, I think I've caught your cold, NV, i feel like death warmed up, that and i'm supposed to be simultaeously doing french homework, and babysitting my sister and her friend (they are watching Serenity and Firefly - I sense a conversion!!)
Luckily, its an inset day..., though I have to go to an art workshop tonight, for the open evening for the next year's potential year sevens. ugh.
Excellent website, DTH, very nice.

Got my done the impossib;e yesterday, I can't wait to watch it!!

***************
Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.
98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

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Thursday, October 5, 2006 2:18 AM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


You will so enjoy it SBDB... I love mine - tis so shiney! Penguin sent it to me!! I love my Penguin ... ooop - channeling Kaylee there!

Take lots of vitamin C, lots of Olive Leaf extract - either in tincture or capsule form, a little extra zinc... and lots of fluids...

Take care sweet thing... look after yourself!


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Thursday, October 5, 2006 2:32 AM

WHITEFALL


Walks in in zombie form... grrrr.... argh. Nah, just kidding, the whole reason i get up in the morning to do homework like this is because i can do it. Btw what is this haven people keep talking about?

Well, time to get my civics on.

As for the age thing, I think that, as has been mentioned before, two people growing up together is preferable to one being older. That said, there's nothing wrong with being older if its a real relationship, but its much more likely to be more succesful imo if people are roughly the same age.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon.

"We take all the money we got saved right now, we could maybe buy a moderately sized gerbil." -Mal

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Thursday, October 5, 2006 2:44 AM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


So young and yet - so wise! ...

I PM'd you Whitefall... Haven is not really a big secret - we're just employing troll avoidance tactics... you're shiney though! It might not be your cup of tea but...

Good to see you before you begin your day!


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Thursday, October 5, 2006 3:10 AM

TRISTAN


Morning, Imponderable-ers! A spot of good news...the weekend is fast approaching!

I don't think it'll get so bad that I will think of escaping today, but I do want to thank everyone for the wonderful ideas!

I missed the age thing last night. I used to be a strong supporter that love is age-blind, but I think I need to add a caveat to that. It is important that both parties are of roughly the same emotional maturity level as well. I had some issues with that; thought I would put out a warning to the rest of you! You all know my last relationship involved an SO that was ten years younger, so I know of what I speak.

I like those shirts! I was not of the impression that not believing was an option, though...

SBDB, how far along are you in French? I used to live there, and spoke it almost fluently...but 12 years of disuse proved that I forgot more than I remembered. I may be able to help here and there, though, if you need it.

Ok, refill of coffee, and I'll start my day!



______________________________________

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Thursday, October 5, 2006 3:18 AM

PENGUIN


Good morning dear one!

Good morning Imponderables!


King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa

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Thursday, October 5, 2006 3:59 AM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


Hello Imponderers... you're awake!

A cup of coffee for you Tristan...


This is for you Penguin!


You guys have created a monster you know that?

... and ummm... I am actually 3 years older than you Tristan...*smiles hopefully*



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Thursday, October 5, 2006 4:12 AM

WHITEFALL


I finally, finally did it. You can all look upon my mug of doom, in the lovely Rose photo thread.

http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=24429&m=390285#390285

There go my delusions of grandeur.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon.

"We take all the money we got saved right now, we could maybe buy a moderately sized gerbil." -Mal

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Thursday, October 5, 2006 4:17 AM

MAL4PREZ


Good morning all!

***YAWN***

Wish it was Friday. Actually, wish it was Saturday and I was still in bed!

Re the age thing - a man I worked with, who was 25-30 years my senior, totally hit on me. Ewww!!!! Couldn't take it! He was very nice and attractive for his age - but that's my dad's age! Ewww again!

I'm not going to rain on anyone's parade if it works for them, but I couldn't do it. Neither could I date a man in his early 20s. There's just a different mentality. Different ideas. I'm very different than I was 10 years ago, and I want different things out of life.

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Thursday, October 5, 2006 4:17 AM

TRISTAN


Ooh, Magda, thank you! Looks delicious! Sugar coma, here I come!
And yes, three years is good!

Whitefall! Good to finally "see" you. Thank you for sharing that with us!

Penguin, still liking the job?

______________________________________

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Thursday, October 5, 2006 4:22 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Whitefall, for what it's worth, I think you are very cute and have great eyes. Skin issues don't last forever so don't be so down on yourself.

http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com - show Universal your gratitude!

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow in sunlight. - Gautama Siddharta

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Thursday, October 5, 2006 4:24 AM

MAL4PREZ


Hey Whitefall - you're a doll! Look at those eyes!

I put a pic of me up. It's silly!

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Thursday, October 5, 2006 4:26 AM

SPACEANJL


I'm still not convinced anyone needs to see a picture of me. But I may have on eof my cat to share. Or alternatively, some profiteroles.

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Thursday, October 5, 2006 4:31 AM

TRISTAN


All's fair, SpaceAnJL...we would all like to see you!

______________________________________

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Thursday, October 5, 2006 4:49 AM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


How's this Penguin?


That's better ... I get all stressed when I think I've done the wrong thing by one of my friends...

And Yay Tristan! I'll be right over then...


Magda x x x


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Thursday, October 5, 2006 4:55 AM

TRISTAN


Um...I think I'm warm. I'm not all that rich. I am pretty sure I can keep you up all night!
*rethinking that one*
Oh, I get that now! I...hmm. I'm a bit out of practice, but I'll give it a shot!

______________________________________

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Thursday, October 5, 2006 5:28 AM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


good!

Well on that note... (sorry Tristan) I am going to bed - I just realised I start work in under 6 hours... and I ..er.. need my sleep! yeah - I need my sleep... *sigh*



Night all!




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Thursday, October 5, 2006 5:31 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


Whitefall - mug of doom! Ha! *files the expression away for future reference* I just know that'll come in handy... and I'm sure you're very pretty

On the age thing - I haven't dated anyone that much younger or older than me, so I can't go by personal experience. I know of two relationships where one partner is more than ten years older than the other.

In the first relationship the guy is just turning 40 and the girl has just turned 30. It's the closest, most caring and funnest relationship I've ever had the pleasure to witness. They're both close friends of mine and not only are they loads of fun, but their relationship gives me hope every day as it shows me that close, loving, fun and very sexy relationships actually exist. And they can be long term too!

In the first relationship, the girl is 88 (but is still very much a girl!) and the guy is 78. The girl calls him her "toyboy!" I don't know them as well as the first couple, but they seem very happy, although they also grumble about each other in that good natured way older people seem to be able to do.




More animations available at www.desktophippie.com - yes, I've moved!

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Thursday, October 5, 2006 5:32 AM

TRISTAN


Sleep well, m'dear! And pleasant dreams! I will see you anon.

______________________________________

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Thursday, October 5, 2006 5:46 AM

LITTLEALBATROSS29


Hi Ponderers,


How are you all doing on this beautiful day ?

Bryce
**********************************

I swallowed a bug.

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Thursday, October 5, 2006 5:48 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Missed her again. 'Night Mags. Sleep well.

Good morning to everyone else.


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Thursday, October 5, 2006 5:56 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


Good morning NV! *hands NV a coffee*

Hi LA! I'm good thanks. How are you?




More animations available at www.desktophippie.com - yes, I've moved!

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Thursday, October 5, 2006 5:59 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


(Chugs coffee)

Thats good stuff!


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Thursday, October 5, 2006 6:15 AM

RUGBUG


Morning all!

I go with the 'to each their own' thing with age, but for me, I couldn't date someone much older. I've had a few older guys from that internet thing asking me out, but I just couldn't do it. They all claim to be "a young 49" or whatever. Well, that's fine and all, but I'm a young 35, so it doesn't really help. Like PR, seven years is plenty.

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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