Quotes from our beloved Wash *Warning: Spoiler* by aimingtomisbehave

FIREFLY EPISODE DISCUSSIONS

Quotes from our beloved Wash *Warning: Spoiler*

POSTED BY: AIMINGTOMISBEHAVE
UPDATED: Thursday, September 21, 2006 13:18
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 23858
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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 4:30 PM

I know all of you FF fans out there are just as distraught with Wash's untimely demise as I am. So lets take a moment to put down a fav. quote or two for our favorite large semi-muscular cast member to ease our pain. Especially if you dont have any alcohol handy.

"I've been in a fire fight before...well I was in a fire...actually I was fired from a fry cook opportunity. I can handle myself."

"Oh my God! What could it be?! We're all doomed! Who's flying this thing?!! Oh that would be me."

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 5:05 PM

HAILFAX

[playing with dinosaur toys]
Wash: 'Yes... this is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... this land.
' 'I think we should call it your grave.'
'Ah. Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal.'
'Hahaha. Mine is an evil laugh.'

and

"I am a leaf on the wind.....WATCH HOW I SOAR"

We're deep in space, corner of No and Where.

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 5:11 PM

KUANGAORUI

"Oh my god its grotesque! ... oh and there is a thing in a jar"

****************************************
You know what's bad? Animal testing.
You know what's worse? Nuclear testing.
You know what's even worse than that? Nuclear animal testing!!! When will they learn?
****************************************

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 5:14 PM

BELACGOD

"Oh god, oh god, we're all going to die! Well, just me and Book. Damn you, Joss!"

"Could we maybe...vote...on the whole killing people issue?"

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 5:16 PM

KUANGAORUI

Ya, might want to put a spoiler warning around that

****************************************
You know what's bad? Animal testing.
You know what's worse? Nuclear testing.
You know what's even worse than that? Nuclear animal testing!!! When will they learn?
****************************************

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 5:21 PM

KHYRON

"Okay. Everybody not talking about sex, in here. Everybody else ... out!"

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 7:16 PM

DERANGEDMILK

"We gotta go to the crappy town where I'm a hero"

"Tell us about the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a ninety pound girl 'cause thats not getting old."

Wash: Didn't she shoot you once.
Mal: Everybody's making a fuss.
(okay maybe more of a Mal funny moment, but Wash assisted)

Kaylee: Tell me I'm pretty Wash.
Wash: Were I unwed I would take you in a manly fashion.
Kaylee: 'Cause I'm pretty.
Wash: 'Cause you're pretty.

Wash: Make sure to call him sir, he likes that.
Mal: Wha?
Zoe: Nothing sir.
Wash gives thumbs up.

I'm done.
-e

"Storms getting worse."
"We'll pass through it soon enough."

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 7:17 PM

DERANGEDMILK

Okay just one more.

River: Hes wearing armor.
Wash: What about his face? Is his face wearing armor?

-e

"Storms getting worse."
"We'll pass through it soon enough."

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 7:26 PM

ITSAWASH

I'm going for the one you ended with Aimingtomisbehave:

"Oh my God! What could it be?! We're all doomed! Who's flying this thing?!! Oh that would be me."

But I also haveta say, Wash was all manner of jing zi at cursing in Mandarin Chinese. He said it like he meant it, gorramit, and even the longest most swirly convoluted phrases never phased him. You've gotta love and admire that kinda ability with a lingo not his native tongue.
SPOILER:
Curse Joss for ending that bright spirit. Long may Wash fly like a leaf on the wind. *Sobbing.*

Pic courtesy of KellyofLuthien

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 7:38 PM

KELLYOFLUTHIEN

I have to agree with ItsaWash that Wash has by far some of the best Chinese phrases, and he delivers them with gusto!

As far as particular lines, I love "Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"

and during War Stories were he says something like "We won't stop for beers with the fellas!"

Just the way he says "fellas" cracks me up

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love my Captain

Check out my Big Damn FF Icons at http://www.livejournal.com/community/bigdamnfficons/ UPDATED 11/15/05!

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 8:08 PM

MINIME

Can I quote a non-verbal moment from the start of
'Trash' where Mal walks in with tissues up his nose and Wash pulls a magnificent face?

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 8:23 PM

THEPYRO

"Some people juggle geese, and that's OK with me."
i love that one

This one i can't exactly remember but its something to the effect of:

Zoe: Excuse me capn', but his man has to tear my clothes off.
Wash: Work work work

YES! awesome lol

*EDIT*

I remembered another:
IN...Shindig i think....

Mal and Inara walk in

Janye: Capn'! we were just about ready to spring you out. We had a complicated plan and everyhting.

Wash: Yes, and i was going to watch, it was all very exciting!

The Pyro

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 8:54 PM

BARCLAY

From the script

MAL
You get that beacon sent?

WASH
(much with the resentment)
Yeah, it's sent.

MAL
Good.

WASH
(under his breath)
Pointless.

MAL
What was that?

WASH
Nothing, sir. It's a brilliant plan, I'm sure
we'll all be saved.

MAL
Getting a little weary of this attitude, Wash.

WASH
Are you? Well I'm very sorry about that, sir.
I guess the news that we're all gonna be purple
and bloated and fetal in a few hours has made me
little snippy.

MAL
It's possible someone might pick up the signal.

WASH
(pissed)
No, Mal. It's not possible. Nobody's gonna pick up
the damn signal. You wanted us "flying under the radar,"
remember? Well, that's where we are: out of range of
anyone or anything.

MAL
Then make it go further.

WASH
What?

MAL
Make the signal go further.

WASH
Can't make it go further.

MAL
Not if all you're gonna do is sit here and
whine about it, no.

WASH
What do you expect me to do, Mal?

MAL
(building)
Whatever you have to. And if you can't do it from
here, then you put on a suit and get out on the side
of the boat and...

WASH
(voice rising)
And what? Wave my arms around?

MAL
Wave your arms around, jump up and down.
Divert the nav sats to the transmitter.
Whatever.

WASH
Divert the...? Right. Because teenage pranks
are fun when you're about to die!

MAL
Give the beacon a boost, wouldn't it?

WASH
Yes, Mal. It'd boost the signal, but even if some
passerby did happen to receive, all it'd do is muck
up their navigation!

MAL
Could be that's true.

WASH
Damn right it's true! They'd be forced to stop
and dig out our signal before they could go anyplace!

A beat as Wash let's what he just said sink in. He snaps:

WASH
Well, maybe I should do that, then!

MAL
(snapping back)
Maybe you should!

WASH
Okay!

MAL
Good!

WASH
Fine!

"You are on the Global Frequency."
http://www.frequencysite.com
http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 9:56 PM

FALLENANGEL

"That's right, of course. Because they wouldn't arrest me if we got boarded. I'm just the pilot. I could always say that I was flying the ship by accident.

"Some people juggle geese!"

"Oh my god, it's grotesque! Oh, and
there's something in a jar."

and then later:

(in the background,
to the jar)
"Do not fear me. Ours is a peaceful
race, and we must live in harmony..." Never have I laughed so hard.

"We gotta go to the crappy town where I'm a hero."

In the ep, The Message where his head was grazed by the bullet when Tracy shot him. Just the way he said Ow was so darn funny. Like he wasn't sure.

and of course the This Land quote.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"You guys always bring me the very best violence."-Mr. Universe.

"People don't like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do, what to think, don't run, don't walk. We're in their homes and in their heads and we haven't the right. We're meddlesome."-River.:disapointed:

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Wednesday, November 16, 2005 4:00 AM

AIMINGTOMISBEHAVE

I think the Wash quote that made me laugh the hardest was in Heart of Gold when Zoe suggests a three point watch in four hour shifts and Wash wanting to be important but doesnt know what to say except
"Three point. Four hour. Should do it,"

It's just the way he says it that cracks me the hell up everytime

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Wednesday, November 16, 2005 7:32 AM

HAILFAX

Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?

We're deep in space, corner of No and Where.

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Wednesday, November 16, 2005 1:08 PM

PSYCHOTICBRIDE

Kaylee: "Is it just me, or did Cap'n seem kinda funny to you at breakfast this morning?"
Wash: "C'mon Kaylee, we all know I'M the funny one."

Zoe: "Too much frou-fa-rah for me. If I get a dress, I want something with some slink."
Wash: "You want a slinky dress!? I can get you a slinky dress! Cap'n, can I have some money for a slinky dress?"

Wash: "Police procedure has changed a lot since I was little..."

Wash was always good for a great line.

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Wednesday, November 16, 2005 3:57 PM

AIMINGTOMISBEHAVE

"Wo de ma...he ta de fung-quang de wai sheng dou, I wish I was somebody else right now. Somebody not married, not madly in love with a beautiful woman who..could..kill me with her pinky!"

(Chinese translation: Holy mother of God and all her crazy nephews.)

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Thursday, December 22, 2005 10:51 PM

SHUTTLE2

Quote:
Originally posted by minime:
Can I quote a non-verbal moment from the start of
'Trash' where Mal walks in with tissues up his nose and Wash pulls a magnificent face?

And then he mimes "what happened" as he tiggles his fingers at his nose?? HAHAHA! *cracks up and falls on the floor laughing*

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Friday, December 23, 2005 12:18 PM

LITTLEMISSFOO

One of my favorites was when they were discussing River's psychic abilities.

Wash: "But that's science fiction!"
Zoe: "We're on a spaceship dear."
Wash: "So?"

Something like that.

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Friday, December 23, 2005 12:56 PM

HEROINEOFCANTON

I especially love these two quotes:

Jayne: Anyone remember her comin' at me with a butcher's knife?
Wash: [smiling] Wacky fun.
Jayne: You wanna go, little man?!
Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.

Jayne: Are you saying River's a witch?
Wash: Yes, Jayne, she's a witch. She's had congress with the Beast.
Jayne: She's in Congress?
Wash: How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious!

That one always gets me!!

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Monday, December 26, 2005 10:40 AM

SANDU

Here's one I loved:

Wash: Little River just gets more colorful by the minute. What will she do next?
Zoe: Either blow us up or rub soup in her hair. It's a toss-up.
Wash: I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it.

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Monday, December 26, 2005 7:07 PM

SUGARFAIRY

Hi all,

First of hopefully many posts.

Quote:
Wash: Little River just gets more colorful by the minute. What will she do next?
Zoe: Either blow us up or rub soup in her hair. It's a toss-up.
Wash: I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it.

Quote:
Jayne: Anyone remember her comin' at me with a butcher's knife?
Wash: Wacky fun.
Jayne: You wanna go, little man?!
Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.

Jayne: Are you saying River's a witch?
Wash: Yes, Jayne, she's a witch. She's had congress with the Beast.
Jayne: She's in Congress?
Wash: How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious!

These are my favourite Wash quotes as well. Every character on Firefly has an episode where they were at their best and for Wash, it was "objects in space"

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Sunday, January 15, 2006 8:50 PM

WASTEGATE13

How could you forget

"Tell me. I am a large, semi-muscular man. I can take it."

Even though the context is serious, the innate "Washness" comes through shining.

"Jayne's a girl's name."

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Sunday, January 15, 2006 9:24 PM

TMURRIE

"Do we care? Are we caring about that?"

That's one from Serenity that I really like, right before Jayne pounds his fist on the table and says "Gorramnit! The only person she's a threat to is us on this boat!"

Oh I almost forgot

Kaylee: Don't worry, no one's saying that.
Wash: No one but Jayne is saying that.

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Monday, January 16, 2006 12:22 AM

MEENOL

"Terse, I can be terse. Once in flight school I was laconic."

It's just... why bring it up? Laconic and terse mean almost the same thing.

And Alan Tudyk always seems to play comedic roles. See A Knight's Tale for some other brilliant deliveries, such as:

"Uh, betray us, and I will fong you, until your insides are out, your outsides are in, your entrails will become your extrails I will w-rip... all the p... ung. Pain, lots of pain."

To fong means to kick in Old English, btw. He was called Wat in that particular film...

-----------------

No, THIS is what going mad feels like.

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Thursday, January 19, 2006 9:05 AM

JOLYNEHEATHER

I love this scene not so much for Wash's lines, but for his delivery. :: choke, sob:: Why, Joss? WHY?!!!

Wash: Mmm. Wife soup. I must have done good.
Zoë: [kisses the top of his head] Yes, dear. You done good. But this is a one time thing, so I suggest you savor it.
Mal: [Mal enters dining area] Did you tell her?
Wash: [looks up warily] Tell her what?
Mal: [to Zoë] Your husband has demanded that we sleep together.
Zoë: Really.
Wash: [looking a bit panicky] What? Mal, come on...
Mal: He seems to think it would get all this burning sexual tension out in the open. You know, make it a fair fight for your womanly affections...
Wash: No! That was just the torture talking...
[looking up at Zoë pleading]
Wash: Remember? The torture?
Mal: [walks to Zoë, takes one of her hands and places it on his hip, then with his other hand, moves some hair off her shoulder, sporting a deadpan expression] Private, it's a difficult mission - but you and I have to get it on.
Zoë: [looks at Wash who is struggling to get to his feet, then looks back at Mal and puts her free hand on his shoulder. Also with a deadpan expression] I understand. We have no choice. Take me, sir. Take me hard.
Jayne: [Jayne who has just begun to enter the dining hall, hearing this looks up with a very uncomfortable look on his face] Now somethin' about that is just downright unsettlin'.
Wash: [as Mal and Zoë get closer to kiss - looking like two teenagers on their first date, Wash steps in grabs Zoë's arm and pulls her to the door of the dining hall] We'll be in our bunk.

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Thursday, January 19, 2006 9:13 AM

JAYRO

Another of my faves, from Bushwacked...

"Oh my God... we're all doomed... who's FLYING this thing?" *beat* "Oh, right, that would be me."

And from War Stories...

"Now I'm learning about scary!"

-----------------------

"That part'll happen pretty definitely."

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Wednesday, February 22, 2006 11:31 PM

MEGMAC

Of course the classic "Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"

but I also love the sequence where the crew are being interrogated,and Zoe's being cagey and says that her and Wash are private people. then cut to Wash rambling about how great Zoe is, and how he was first attracted to her legs. That moment is just so...Wash. lol

-------------------------------------------------
Mal: Wheel never stops turning, Badger.
Badger: That only matters to the people on the rim.

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Thursday, February 23, 2006 12:20 AM

BROWNCOATBILLY

I can't believe no one mentioned:

Wash: This is going to get interesting.

Mal: Define interesting.

Wash: [In the most nonchalant voice immaginable] Oh god oh god we're all going to die?

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Thursday, February 23, 2006 12:35 PM

SAVEWASH

Now I am learning about scary.

How about:

"Every man there go back inside or we will blow a new crater in this little moon."

Loved the delivery!

Two of my other favorites are my tag line and my signature.

"We need to keep our heads so we can ... keep our heads."

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Thursday, February 23, 2006 1:24 PM

JOHNBOY

Two from War Stories:
Wash: I mean, I'm the one she swore to love, honor and obey!
Mal: She swore to obey?
Wash: Well, no. Not... But that's my point! You she obeys! She obeys you! There's obeying happening right under my nose'

And this exchange, all but nonverbal:
Niska pulls off Mal's blindfold - he's filling Mal's field of view, grinning like a Cheshire cat. Wash is a tiny background figure, still blindfolded, no idea what's going down.
Mal:
Wash: Whhaaaaaattttttttttt???????????

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Thursday, February 23, 2006 1:50 PM

GARBAGECANMUSIC

I love the end of the first exchange of the crew in the BDM:

Mal: Just get us on the ground!
Wash: That part will happen pretty definately.

and of course:

(and this may have been said already)

Wash: Wacky fun.
Jayne: You wanna go little man?
Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.

How much is that little Geisha in the window?

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Friday, February 24, 2006 9:26 AM

WEREALLJUSTFLOATING

OK, this is an especially tough one since Wash is my favourite character, but I have to go with TRASH - it's not my favourite Wash episode but it's my favourite Wash scene:

WASH
I'm confused...

SAFFRON
You're asking yourself, if I've got the security codes, why don't I go in and grab it for myself?

WASH
No. Actually...I was wondering...
(to Mal, suddenly) What's she doing on the ship!? Didn't she try to kill us?

SAFFRON
(rolls her eyes)Please nobody died last time.

WASH
We're in space. How'd she get here?

MAL
She hitched.

WASH
I don't recall pulling over!

And Kaylee's expression is just hilarious, always count on Kaylee to laugh at Wash's jokes.

Poor old Wash usually seems to be the last person to know anything, as he's almost always up in the bridge, for example in the movie when they rescue the Mule from the Reaver ship and Simon and Mal fight. The wide shot of Wash all alone saying "Hello?" is priceless.

We're still flying.

That's not much.

It's enough.

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Sunday, February 26, 2006 3:55 AM

AUSSAY

"Jerry Lewis IS FLYING THE SHIP!! Oh god! Down with ding. Im in space to fly"

Well this isnt really a quote but is from Alan's commentary from The Message

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Sunday, February 26, 2006 4:32 AM

COSMICFUGITIVE

"Here lies my beloved Zoe, my autumn flower. Somewhat less attractive now that she's all corpsified and gross.."

And:

From 'The Message', after Tracey nearly shoots him: "Ow?"

[img]

[/img]

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Monday, February 27, 2006 9:43 AM

KIZYR

My personal favorite is the one I use most often, the response to 'define interesting'.

But, another one I like is a brief bit in the Serenity comics.

(Mal hands Wash some coin)
Mal: Get her filled up
Wash: With dirt? Cheap dirt? 'Cause that's all this is gonna get us. KF

~KF

Lord, I'm walking your way. Let me in, for my feet are sore, my clothes are ragged.
Look in my eyes, Lord, and my sins will play out on them as on a screen. Read them all.
Forgive what you can and send me on my path. I will walk on until you bid me rest.
~Haven Prayer

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 6:22 PM

LEGION

mine is

"so when did this become not funny"

i love the word choices the writers gave Wash
like

"not so much"
also used by others.

also,i can kill you with my brain

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 6:50 PM

FREEBAGEL

Quote:
Originally posted by garbagecanmusic:
I love the end of the first exchange of the crew in the BDM:

Mal: Just get us on the ground!
Wash: That part will happen pretty definately.

Yep, I liked that part a lot better than the "oh god oh god we're all gonna die" line as well.

The soup one mentioned earlier is definitely great as well.

Though not a line I also like the scene in The Message where Tracy has had a few minutes of screen time after he "wakes up" and everyone finds out he's not dead, so it kind of settles in with you, but you don't really put it together that Wash still hasn't seen him yet. Then when Tracy goes up to the bridge, Wash kind of double takes and then freaks out. Good stuff.

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 7:29 PM

WASHBURNEFAN

"MMMMMMM....... Wife-Soup, I done good."

"We are a peaceful racee, we must live together in harmony." (From Shindig, talking to the "Alien")

Wash(Angry): You know why I have little plastic dinosaurs Mal?

Mal: No Wash, I don't. Why?

Wash(Still Angry): Because little plastic army men cost too much on a salary like mine!

(By the way this quote isn't exactly from anywhere, I just heard someone at school say it.)

Rock on Wash! May your soul soar forever, or have you mysteriously come back with Shepard in the sequal!

Hahaha! Mine is an evil laugh... Now die!

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 7:37 PM

ALGUS

I will always love the scene that introduces Wash in Serenity. I was an Alan Tudyk fan before I watched Firefly and I was pleased to know that his brilliance would be fully utilized the first time I watched it.

---
Where's the KABOOM?! There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom! *sigh* Delays...delays...

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Thursday, March 9, 2006 2:40 AM

DUTCHBOY

I just started reading through the scripts, and found this from 'The Train Job'. Hilarious! Too bad it wasn't filmed!

WASH
We start flying with the hatch
open, keeping her steady is gonna
be a job of work, so you strap in.

JAYNE
You get me killed, I'm a come back
as a ghost and punch your liver
out.

WASH
Well, there goes Plan A...

JAYNE
I'm not messing around. You'd
best run straight or you'll get a
boxing.

WASH
You sound like my father. Which
is weird because you look more
like my mother.

JAYNE
One of these days --

A beeping. Wash looks at his monitors.

WASH
We're close. Get down there.

JAYNE
(as he goes)
Hell, I ever call you out, you'd
probably just hide behind the Mrs.

WASH
(working the panels)
Go.
(a beat. To himself:)
My liver?

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Friday, March 10, 2006 10:45 AM

MILFORD

All of these are my favorites. Everything he said was great. One of the true colorful characters in TV history.

A couple of my faves are:

"Ours is a peaceful race"- The Message.

I also love Alan in general, especially at the end of the FF pilot when there's a shot of them on the bridge and they're celebrating their victory and he's holding on to...NOTHING! He's too far back from the controls, but he's got his hands there anyway. Hilarious!

Leaning into the wind that used to carry me-Stavesacre

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Friday, March 10, 2006 10:46 AM

MILFORD

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Tuesday, March 14, 2006 10:50 AM

STUBBS

In Serenity, when Mal has just been beaten by the Assasin and they're onboard Serenity talking about River with Inara.
Simon says- Did he say anything about Miranda?
Inara- No. What is that?
Zoe- Dont know who or what, but is on rivers mind.
Inara- could it be some kind of threat to the alliance?
And comic genius Wash says 'Do we care?' and the camera zooms slightly on him. 'are we caring about that?' his face, just before Jayne leans forward is an absolute masterclass in comic delivery. May he rest in peace

Stubbs

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Tuesday, March 14, 2006 11:15 AM

Whoa. Good myth.

It's all in the delivery folks, all in the delivery.

I think a little chaos is in order.

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Thursday, March 30, 2006 8:07 PM

AELIN

A toast...

*hands around afore-mentioned alcohol*

To Wash, our leaf on the wind, the wings of Serenity.

--------------------------------
She's terse... I can be terse. Once, in college, I was laconic.

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Friday, March 31, 2006 4:58 PM

MILFORD

Saw a new favorite the other night. I love in the pilot when Wash is talking to Zoe about getting time off.

Wash: Call him 'Sir,' he likes that.

And then when Mal comes in later and she calls him 'Sir,' the little thumbs up and the corresponding face Wash makes just kills me. Comedy gold.

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Customizeable handmade baby gifts personalized by my wife! Check them out at www.baby-bobo.com. All proceeds go towards international adoption.

Leaning into the wind that used to carry me-Stavesacre
That's why I don't kiss'em on the mouth- Jayne Cobb

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Friday, March 31, 2006 6:02 PM

THESOAPBOXER

The exchange that defined the entire show:

Wash: Yeah, but a psychic? That sounds like something out of science fiction.

Zoe: You live on a spaceship, dear.

(Beat)

Wash: So?

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Could you please just make it stranger? Just stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?
~Joss Whedon

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Friday, March 31, 2006 8:54 PM

SPACEPIRATEQUEEN

Most of my favorite quotes have already been posted, but the in leiu...one of my very favorite scenes for any of the characters, but Wash and Zoe mostly...

"Her legs. Definitely have to say it was her legs. You can put that down. Her legs and where her legs meet her back. Actually that whole area. That and above it."

And of course--

"Can we start dealing in black market beagles?"

And--

"Did she really make fresh bao? QUAINT!"

And--

"Maybe a naked beach?"

Sigh...I miss Wash. Whoever will provide witty comic relief, dinosaurs, and Zoe a husband in seasons to come? (See that? That right there is the power of positive thinking. Also known as delusion.)

Wife soup!

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