Busted Gut : Favorite Funny Scenes/Lines by serrada

FIREFLY EPISODE DISCUSSIONS

Busted Gut : Favorite Funny Scenes/Lines

POSTED BY: SERRADA
UPDATED: Wednesday, September 7, 2016 18:12
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VIEWED: 44520
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Sunday, January 8, 2006 8:11 AM

I love it in Jaynestown when River is hiding after seeing Shepherd's hair all hanging out,and Zoe is trying to get her out and says "He's putting the hair away now." River replies:It doesn't matter it'll still be there....WAITING!!!!I literally almost pissed my pants.

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Sunday, January 8, 2006 8:49 AM

JADEHAND

Mal: "I knew you let her kiss you."

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Sunday, January 8, 2006 12:02 PM

BLUEISHBROWNCOAT

Oh so many! thats one of my faveorite parts of Firefly, the comedy and oneliners :)

What comes to mind right now:

War Stories: The end when Mal tell Zoe that Wash thinks they should have sex....Take sir. take me hard. and then their faces as they go in awkwardly to kiss. LOVE IT!

Also, the scene in Jaynestown where they're all looking at the statue. Mals comment about staying and admiring it for a min and Simon's comments about going crazy. :)

-----------------------------------------
Hoplessly addicted but in that good sort of way. :)

"When the stars shine bright through the engine's trail and the dust of another world drops behind,
when my ship is free of the open sky its a damn good day to my way of mind." - Michelle Dockrey

SCAD/Savannah,GA Browncoat

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Sunday, January 8, 2006 12:27 PM

MICK91

Book: "If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."

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Sunday, January 8, 2006 3:06 PM

SINGATE

The look on Wash and Simon's faces when "The Hero of Canton" is being played in "Jaynestown". It kills me everytime.

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Sunday, January 8, 2006 3:19 PM

MISSMADRASSA

Paraphrasing Mal to Jayne: I see the days of my disrespecting you are coming to a middle.

And

The mind-blown look on Mal's face imagining Inara and Saffron getting it on in OMR.

In fact, the whole of Our Mrs. Reynolds had me in stiches.

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Sunday, January 8, 2006 3:51 PM

MER

I would have to say, Jaynestown. Just face it, I love the Jsyne.

I want to pick the Message Roundabout message listening from the gag reel, but I don't think it would count.

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Sunday, January 8, 2006 3:56 PM

OMELET

In the outakes on the Serenity dvd when Nathan says to Zoe something like this:

Zoe, string four of five of them together and put them across the front. Put Book front and center, he was our friend, it's an honor. Kaylee, find the kid who's takin' a dirt nap with baby Jesus. We need a hood ornament. Jayne, don't steal too much of their shit.

Well, I think that's how it went. I probably got it wrong, but it's close to that. I couldn't stop laughing after that.

Jayne: Are you saying River's a witch?
Wash: Yes, Jayne, she's a witch. She's had congress with the Beast.
Jayne: She's in Congress?
Wash: How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious!

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Sunday, January 8, 2006 3:58 PM

THESOAPBOXER

Hands down, Mal's line in "Trash" when talking to Inara.

(Re: the "wobbly-headed dolls")
Mal: Hey, people love those!

Nathan delivers the line with utter indignation that makes me guffaw every single time I watch it.

Runners-up:
-"Objects in Space"-
Jubal Early: Well, that's somewhat unsettling.
-"Out of Gas"-
(Didn't necessarily make me laugh out loud, considering the scene, but still one of my favorite lines)
Wash: Well, maybe I should do that, then!

Wuo DWAY-nee BOO-woon, boo-JEN...

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Sunday, January 8, 2006 4:02 PM

CHRISTHECYNIC

For me it will always be the scene leading up to, "Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

At one point I was doing something else and I noticed that that scene was running in the background, muted, it was still hilarious.

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Sunday, January 8, 2006 8:29 PM

BLUEISHBROWNCOAT

Quote:
Originally posted by MER:

I want to pick the Message Roundabout message listening from the gag reel, but I don't think it would count.

AHAHAHA!! I love that outatke! its so funny! The music that plays once he starts to move around is great...
I love the firefly gag reel (the full 13 mins one)...now if there was any way to get the full serenity one :)

-----------------------------------------
Hoplessly addicted but in that good sort of way. :)

"When the stars shine bright through the engine's trail and the dust of another world drops behind,
when my ship is free of the open sky its a damn good day to my way of mind." - Michelle Dockrey

SCAD/Savannah,GA Browncoat

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Monday, January 9, 2006 4:22 AM

LANDODAPIMP

I laughed so hard when I watched the message yesterday when Jayne said

"What'd y'all order a dead guy for?"

--
http://www.millionaireplayboy.com

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Monday, January 9, 2006 4:28 AM

DARKLIGHTER9

Gotta b Simon in OIS "my siter is a space ship, we had a difficult relationship growing up" or Mal to Simon "im cranky, confused and in possesion of a firearm so I suggest you speak plainly" that last one is my msn tag at the mo

________________________________________________
"its clear that the only way around this is to stick my fingers in my ears, close my eyes and sing the firefly theme very loudly" a friend of mine talking about a cirtain scene in the BDM

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Monday, January 9, 2006 4:42 AM

TEETHGRINDER

" We applied the cortical electrodes but couldn't get a neural response from either patient" - Jayne

Need I say more....

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Monday, January 9, 2006 5:08 AM

SERRADA

The look on Jayne's face and in his Eyes after River says: "Also,I can Kill you with my brain."
He goes from doubt to sheer terror in an instant
with barely any noticable movement.Funny and Brilliant!

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Monday, January 9, 2006 5:53 AM

MER

*sighs* gotta love that Jayne.

I dunno if there's a full one, but from the behind the scenes special on Serenity it has some that's not on th DVD...I can't remember what besides Nathan and Gina dancing nor where I found the site that had the screencaps from that special.
I guess I'll have to rewatch that special.

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Monday, January 9, 2006 6:50 AM

J6NGO1977

One of the scenes that makes me laugh out loud is Badgers comment in Shindig *Same as my Avatar* 'course, you couldn't buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle, but I got my hands on a couple'. Mal and Jayne are fighting to keep a straight face. Hiiilarious

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Monday, January 9, 2006 6:52 AM

PSOLARIS

Quote:
Originally posted by Mick91:
Book: "If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."

Darnnit Mick, you beat me to it.

See my tagline above!

Psolaris

"Ten percent of nuthin' is...let me do the math here...nuthin' into nuthin'...carry the nuthin'"

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Monday, January 9, 2006 8:51 AM

JAYRO

"I'll be in my bunk." - Jayne Cobb

------------------------

"You can't take the sky from me."

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Monday, January 9, 2006 9:00 AM

WASTEGATE13

Mine's from the BDM.

"I swallowed a bug."

Just the way she says it and the look of childlike innocence on her face makes me crack up everytime.

WARNING: Thread Hijack in progress!!

Off Topic: BlueishBrowncoat, I see you go to SCAD, one of my good friends goes there as well and my sister will be attending starting next year. Semi-small world huh?

"Jayne's a girl's name."

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Monday, January 9, 2006 9:02 AM

MTNSCOTT

See tagline

Only the half mad are wholly alive!
E.A.

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Monday, January 9, 2006 9:48 AM

ADMIRALJEDI

From Serenity (the pilot) [I think??]

ZOE (slightly paraphrased for lack of remembrance)

"Great. Now we have passengers wandering all around our... stolen.. cargo."

MAL: "Ain't no way they're gonna find that compartment."

ZOE: "Why not?"

(funniest favorite)
MAL: "...... ... cuz .. ? .... ?"

Oh my gosh. Nathan Fillion deserves an award for that ONE word. I have LITERALLY practiced in the mirror to pull off that line as good as he did and there's no way. I die laughing at that part EVERY time.

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Monday, January 9, 2006 1:41 PM

BLUEISHBROWNCOAT

Quote:
Originally posted by Wastegate13:

WARNING: Thread Hijack in progress!!

Off Topic: BlueishBrowncoat, I see you go to SCAD, one of my good friends goes there as well and my sister will be attending starting next year. Semi-small world huh?

Continueing with the Hijacking!

Coolbeans. It is a small world. It get smaller and smaller everday. :) Your friend/sister a browncoat? Ive discovered a small group on campus. YAY Facebook!

NOW BACK TO THE REGULAR THREAD.

-----------------------------------------
Hoplessly addicted but in that good sort of way. :)

"When the stars shine bright through the engine's trail and the dust of another world drops behind,
when my ship is free of the open sky its a damn good day to my way of mind." - Michelle Dockrey

SCAD/Savannah,GA Browncoat

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Monday, January 9, 2006 5:21 PM

WASTEGATE13

Oh my sister is, I don't think nearly as big as I but she loves the show. She was the one who introduced me to it after seeing Serenity and loving it.

"Jayne's a girl's name."

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Monday, January 9, 2006 10:36 PM

BLUEISHBROWNCOAT

Funny moment:

The begining of "Our Mrs. Reynolds"...Jayne to Mal: "Well, if I could make you prettier I would!

-----------------------------------------
Hoplessly addicted but in that good sort of way. :)

"When the stars shine bright through the engine's trail and the dust of another world drops behind,
when my ship is free of the open sky its a damn good day to my way of mind." - Michelle Dockrey

SCAD/Savannah,GA Browncoat

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Tuesday, January 10, 2006 5:55 AM

GUERRA

My favorite scenes:

2nd episode, Mal explains that he doesn't want any issues and gives the money back to Niska's second hand man. The guy says he'll hunt him down and such, Mal just kicks him right into the engine and then explains it to the next henchman in line.

1st episode: Mal tells Simon that Kaylee is dead, Simon runs to see if shes okay, she waves at him, he says something about the Captain being a lunatic then it goes to a clip of the crew laughing their asses off.

Shindig: At the end of the duel, where hes talking about being compassionate, and then gives the guy a few extra stabs for comedy's sake.

Variety of great lines I've forgotten or people have mentioned previously, if you'd like to add the exact quotes to the scenes above, go for it :)

Hazzah for Firefly!

(by the way, I'm thinking about working on a Firefly-esque sci fi game, anyone interested IM me)

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Wednesday, January 11, 2006 3:42 AM

TAKENBAXTER

Kaylee:"Wash do you think I'm pretty?"
Wash:"If I were unwed, I'd take you in a manly fashion."
Kaylee:"Cuz I'm pretty?"
Wash:"Cuz you're pretty..."
Me and my friend peed ourselves...it was fabulous

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Wednesday, January 11, 2006 3:55 AM

JAYRO

OMG, I just remembered River's line in the birthing room, from Heart Of Gold.

"Who do you think is in there?"

Chuckle city.

--------------------------

"Shoot 'em... politely." - Malcolm Reynolds

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Wednesday, January 11, 2006 7:24 AM

XENOPROBE

Jayne: Smells like crotch
Kaylee: Jayne!
Jayne: Well it does.

Wash: We don't even have to do anything
fancy. We'll just go to a park or
something, feed the pigeons.
Zoe: Sure. We'll feed the pigeons...
probably get the firing squad for
littering.

Mal: Pupils were fixed and dilapidated --
Simon: Dilated.
Mal: Ching-wah TSAO duh liou mahng. Shiny.

That last one near killed me! The way he tacks on 'shiny' on the tail end of his curse... Oh, and the entire River/Book bit about Book's hair... Hi-larious!

~*~*~*~*~*~

Ching-wah TSAO duh liou mahng. Shiny.

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Wednesday, January 11, 2006 9:48 AM

TAKENBAXTER

One of my favorites is in Heart of Gold when Kaylee says " they have boy whores too. Isn' that thoughtful? I wonder if they service women folk at all?" Then Wash goes "let's not ask them."

Oh and this might not be the right kind of funny moment but on the commentary for The Message Alan Tudyk is describing the way Tracey is acting/talking and he goes something along the lines of "this kid is wasted and like on the cheapest wine."
I don't know why but that always makes me get the giggles really bad.

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Wednesday, January 11, 2006 4:57 PM

COPILOTLEONARD

I love just about any line Wash says, but in Jaynestown I couldn't stop laughing. Everyone had a great live. Wash's face when he was drunk and laughing at Mal and Zoe. Book's hair and River's reaction to it. And of course that great song about Jayne.

"I'm going down too quick. Likely crash and kill us all"

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Thursday, January 12, 2006 8:42 AM

TAKENBAXTER

Quote:
Originally posted by CoPilotLeonard:
I love just about any line Wash says, but in Jaynestown I couldn't stop laughing. Everyone had a great live. Wash's face when he was drunk and laughing at Mal and Zoe. Book's hair and River's reaction to it. And of course that great song about Jayne.

"I'm going down too quick. Likely crash and kill us all"

That Wash moment was like.....THE BEST!

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Friday, January 13, 2006 12:14 AM

OIAMSLAIN

“I think I really made a difference in their lives. Me, Jayne Cobb!”
“I know your name, jackass.”

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Saturday, January 14, 2006 3:37 PM

KPO

Sometimes you own the libs. Sometimes, the libs own you.

Ok I got another one, not exactly a gut-buster, but one that always makes me smile whenever i think of it. Something bout it tickles me.

It's one of Mal's retorts in his very first conversation with Inara:

Inara - "Nor will I under any circumstances be servicing you or anyone else under your employ."
Mal - "I'll post a sign."

Just tickles me.

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Saturday, January 14, 2006 3:57 PM

PAYNE

Quote:
Originally posted by oiamslain:
“I think I really made a difference in their lives. Me, Jayne Cobb!”
“I know your name, jackass.”

Ah, but the preceding line is also gold:

Jayne: "I don't know Mal, you think we should be using my fame to hoodwink people?"
Mal: "You better laugh when you say that."

I've been searching in vain for an opportunity to use that line in real life.

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Friday, January 20, 2006 4:19 AM

NUCLEARDAY

I have to say every single flashback scene in "Out of Gas" goes somewhere at the top of my list.

Also, what really cracked me up: near the end of the "Serenity" episode. The fed is holding River hostage and the reavers are on their way. The way that Mal just shows up and shoots him out of hand without even breaking stride is another classic.

ASIDE: Saw the SCAD comments out there and had to give a shout-out. Graduated from there about four years ago. Say hi to pigeon-man and mr.sign for me, BlusihBrowncoat!

_________________________________________________
Browncoats never die, they just get cancelled.

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 12:41 PM

DRAGONFEAR987

i must say, one of the things that got me hooked on this show were the damn quotes.

Mal: This is your captain. were experiencing some slight turbulence...and then might explode.
Jayne: were gonna explode? i dun wanna explode!

or

Zoe: are those grenades?
jayne: yea capn dun want em.

or

simon: its ok to leave them to die.
mal:docot r im taking ur sister under my protection here. if nething happens to her i promise ill get very choked up. honestly..there mite even be tears.

or
mal:listen up were coming down to empty that vault.
Man: you have to give me hte authorization password.
::jayne shoots::
Man: ok!

or

Wash: im a leaf on the wind..watch how i soar.

so many good ones, cant narrow it down at all

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 2:05 PM

CANDLELIGHT

copilotleonard is right. Just about anything Wash says is funny. I also love it when in "The Train Job" Jayne says: "Do you know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with till you know who's in ruttin' command here!" Then later, after he's succumbed to being sedated and he's lying in a heap on one of the gangways. Mal comes in, gives him a puzzled look, and Kaylee says: "We tried to get him to the infirmary; he's just.....heavy"

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 3:01 PM

GUTTERBALL

Quote:
Originally posted by oiamslain:
“I think I really made a difference in their lives. Me, Jayne Cobb!”
“I know your name, jackass.”

Oh, man, I just about DIED laughing at that one!

How 'bout:

Mal: I gotta know how close the Alliance is, exactly how much you told them before Wash scrambled your call. So...I've given Jayne here the job of findin' out.
Jayne: *pulls big-ass knife* He was nonspecific as to how.
Mal: *whispers* You only gotta scare him.
Jayne: *wide-eyed sincere* Pain is scary.

Mal: Jayne, how many guns are you takin'? You only got the two arms.
Jayne: Well, I just get excitable as to choice. Like to have my options open.
Mal: No grenades!
Jayne: Huh? Awww!

Zoe: How much ammo we got left?
Jayne: Three full mags and my swingin' cod!

Jayne: You can't change that...by gettin' all...bendy. Got the...the light...from the console...to...lift you up...oh, shiny...angels....*faceplants on the floor*
Wash: *waits a beat* Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?

Niska: Have you ever read the works of Xian Yu?
Mal: *in extreme pain from torture* You starting a book club? What, are you trying to torture me?

God, I love this series....

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 4:01 PM

CAPTAINSGAL

in Our Mrs. Reynolds, Shepard verifies that Mal is actually married to Saffron.

Mal, in total disbelief, walks up to Jayne and says
"How drunk was I last night?"

and Jayne grunts back "Well I don't know, I passed out."

also, another Our Mrs. Reynolds moment:

"You got a wife? All I got was that dumb-ass stick sounds like it's raining. How come you get a wife?"

and

"Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill him right back"

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 4:25 PM

NANDIFAN

I am going to have to go with Wash in "The Message"

Talking to the alien/cow fetus:
"Do not fear me...ours is a peaceful race and we must live in harmony."

Funniest thing ever!

Also, in same show, when Simon and Kaylee are along and he says that she is pretty much the only girl in the world because everyone else he knows is married, professional, or closely related! And then Zoe comes in and Simon says he isn't very good at taling to girls, and Zoe says:

"Why, is there someone you are good at talking to?"

Then later in the scene, River calles Simon a boob for what he said to Kaylee.

I mean, that is just good TV!

"If they've got guns or brains at all."
"They've got guns."

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 5:08 PM

BLUEHARVEST77

I just want to break in with this Link for the Sci Fi channel. If you have any suggestions for programing (specifically a second Firefly season) this is where you write. Don't just use the link, pass it on to any place you think we might get support. feedback@scifi.com

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006 12:53 PM

ENGINEANGEL

oh man, how to choose? i'm gonna have to think on this one

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006 1:17 PM

TAMSIBLING

The entire episode of "Our Mrs. Reynolds" makes we me laugh out loud, no matter how many times I watch it. Everything from when he opens the crate to the very end is just hilarious.

Some of my other favorites are below:
MAL: You're very lacking in imagination.
ZOE: Imagine that's so, sir.

MAL: Well, you were right about this being a bad idea.
ZOE: Thanks for saying so, sir.

MAL: Did you get word to Patience?
WASH: Yeah, she'll be waiting for us. Didn't she try to shoot you once?
MAL: Everybody's making a fuss.

MAL: Define interesting.
WASH: Oh God, oh God, we're all gonna die?

SIMON: Could you not do that while we're - ever?
SIMON: I'm trying to think of a way you could be cruder, but nothing's coming to me.

MAL: (gesturing to River-in-a-box) Oh, is this one for you? You two look - Ah!

It's the wit and humor of Joss Whedon that first hooked me on Buffy, Angel, Firefly and Serenity.

Joss is GENIUS!!!

This must be what going insane feels like.

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006 3:08 PM

SIHNON

I have a few. One of them's the one on my signature, from the deleted scene Inara and Sheydra.
Inara: "Captain Reynolds never touched me, all he ever did was rent me a shuttle and be very, very annoying...(something possibly insulting in Chinese)"
Hi-larious, I giggle madly every time...

From, uhm, Ariel, I think it was, when Jayne spits on the knife or something, making this really nasty noise...
Simon: "Could you not do that while we're like...ever?"

Our Mrs. Reynolds, when Inara hastily explains why she fell even though no one gives a damn...
Zoe: "...and Inara found you here."
Inara: "And then my head got hurt, like Wash."
Mal: "I don't get this."
Inara: "I only fell, is all!"

Then a few moments later, when Simon goes to examine her...
Inara: "No no no, I don't need to be examined...I'm comfy..."

The Message, when Wash is poking fun at Simon after Kaylee yelling at Simon in the cow fetus scene. Is that a sentence?
Wash: "Oh my GOD it's GROTESQUE! Oh, and there's something in a jar."

In the BDM, when Mal goes to rescue Inara...
Operative: "Captain Reynolds, you should know, so you don't waste your time, you cannot anger me."
Inara: "Please, spend an hour with him."

Same scene...
Mal: "Thought an Albatross was a ship's good luck, 'til some idiot killed it. Yes, I've read a poem, try not to faint."

--------
Captain Reynolds never touched me, all he did was rent me a shuttle and be very, very annoying!

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006 3:24 PM

MILFORD

All of you are sorely mistaken. The funniest scene in the whole series and film combined is the first act of comedy in the whole thing. How could all of you forget:

Mail: Kaylee's dead.
(Simon running frantically to the infirmary with no sound, only emotional music only to find Kaylee up and fine)
(Cut to the bridge of Serenity abruptly)
Everyone: HA HA HA HA!

That was one of the funniest things I have ever seen in the history of my TV viewing. That is clearly the best funny of the whole deal.

Of course, this is followed closely by Wash's encounter with the alien cow fetus. That gets me too.

Remember, that but for one trifling exception, the entire universe is made up of others.- Oliver Wendall Holmes

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 8:26 AM

HAPPYWLAD

Mal: No I don't! No I don't!

The only thing that matters is how well you walk through the fire.
C.B.

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 8:41 AM

JOELIST

Nobody mentioned Wash playing with his plastic dinosaurs in the opening of Serenity?

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 8:49 AM

JAYRO

Quote:
Originally posted by HappyWlad:
Mal: No I don't! No I don't!

Ah, 'War Stories', my favourite ep.

Also from same - Wash talking tough whilst tooling up, then brandishing the pansiest little purse gun ever.

And Mal and Wash arguing over Zoe whilst being tortured...
Wash: "Screw you!"
Mal: "Get in line."

---------------------

"We need a hood ornament."

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 6:34 PM

GUTTERBALL

Wash: Hey, I've been in a fire fight!

Mal: *disbelieving look*

Wash: Well...I was in a fire.

Mal: *rolls eyes*

Wash: Actually...I was fired...from a fry cook opportunity.

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

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