Ten things I learned from watching Firefly by Lerxst

Even big, powerful mercenaries have mothers.

Even big, powerful mercenaries care for their mothers.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, March 4, 2004 12:17 PM

KUGELBLITZ

A good sniper is worth two or three horsemen.

Scoped rifles need laser pointers too.

The dead always deserve respect.

Redheads is just plain trouble.

A little sack of coins buys a lot of fuel.

The Alliance ER don't care how you died.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, March 8, 2004 4:18 AM

CONANTHEBARBIE

Speak slowly and clearly when dealing with a psychopathic bounty hunter or you could convince him that you think he is a lion - and so does he.

Sometimes the threat is more effective than the follow through.

If someone shot you once, you can bet your gorram ass they mean to do it again.

Make it clear that you get paid when you do a job. Guarantee you will be heard by placing your audience under a horse.

If you are double-crossed by an attractive nut repeatedly and finally end up naked in the middle of nowhere, relax, sigh, and tell yourself it went well.

"Play nice with the other kids...unless one of the other kids wanna fight; then you have to kick the other kids' butt."
-Mushu in "Mulan"

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, March 8, 2004 6:19 AM

SAMURAIX47

Einstein is reincarnated as Shepard Book.

Jaymes

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, March 8, 2004 6:49 PM

MISSOURIFIREFLY

Sorry if I repeat any...OK, here are some things I learned:
1. Jayne is a girl's name.
2. You can't open the book of someone's life and jump in the middle.
3. When your medic promises never to hurt you, remember that he reserves the right to drug you if he's not comfortable with you in command.
4. Sometimes we all get a little tired of the pitter patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots.
5. There is kissing.
6. Don't make faces when a psychic says we're all dreaming.
7. Plans can work even when you smell a lot of "if" on them.
8. Black market beagles are in demand.
9. You just have to have faith in people.
10. No one can take the sky from me!

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, March 9, 2004 5:57 AM

DTT

1. Don't let ignorant villagers know that you can read minds.
2. If you see guys in nitrile gloves, run!!!
3. No matter how much "progress" we make as a race, us men will still always be clueless about womenfolk.
4. When you can't walk, you crawl. And when you can't do that, you find somebody to carry you.
5. The Millennium Falcon has lousy hiding places.
6. Never wear the logo of a conglomerate that has tortured one of your shipmates.
7. In the future, religious orders will be sponsored by hair care product manufacturers.
8. You'd be amazed what three little switches can make a ship do.
9. Don't tell a mechanic that her ship is Luh-suh.
10. Having your guts scooped out is not a great way to make money.

"You didn't have to wound that man."
"Yeah, I know. It was just funny."

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, March 9, 2004 4:27 PM

HILDY

The small concealable weapons always go to the far left of the place setting.

Killing may be bad, but God is a might fuzzier on the subject of kneecapping.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, March 9, 2004 4:34 PM

That...people...can't...sentance...proper...

Well, we never learned if that geisha in the window was for sale...

Well, from experience, I learned I can't get to do the same look Kaylee has when eating strawberries. Darn.

That "gorram" is not Madarin.

And many others, I assume.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, March 9, 2004 4:35 PM

Thought of another!

Niska is the senior citizen from Hell. (Sorry Channain...)

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, March 9, 2004 5:46 PM

SERENA

Jayne's got man parts.

"Every well bred, petty crook knows that the small, concealable weapons always go to the far left of the place setting."

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, March 15, 2004 3:07 AM

KALIMEERI

1-110

If you talk in the theatre during the "Serenity" movie, 110 Browncoats WILL send you to a special Hell.

Jen dao mei.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, March 15, 2004 4:12 PM

ECGORDON

There's no place I can be since I found Serenity.

I can't add much to what has already been said on this thread, except for this:

No matter how many times you watch your Firefly DVDs, you can always find a compelling reason to watch them again.

wo men ren ran zai fei xing.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, March 20, 2004 5:04 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by ecgordon:
I can't add much to what has already been said on this thread, except for this:

No matter how many times you watch your Firefly DVDs, you can always find a compelling reason to watch them again.

Yeah, cause no power in the 'verse can stop us from our DVDs...and soon our movie...

Not even Death. Or Reavers. Or Fox execs. Or Blue Han- well, maybe Blue Hands...but we'll find them somewhere else...

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, March 20, 2004 6:36 PM

JEBBYPAL

Someone should print out flyers to be handed out at the movie about what whill happen when you talk during Serenity. That was the funniest one yet! here goes my try:

1.) When you find out that your character has to do a lot of running, ducking, lifting and fighting, be sure to ask the costume department to hold a pair of pants in a larger size so you don't end up with an embarrassing nickname.

2.) When your sister knows a mute person's entire life story, tell others she is lying. They'll never believe she's just intuitive.

3.) If you are rich and your favorite show is canceled, buy a shitload of DVDs and maybe you'll get a movie.

4.) If you are really pretty, you can't die during a gunbattle.

5.) People juggle geese in some places for sports.

6.) If held at gunpoint, try to hire a thug to your side.

7.) Big white boxes sometimes contain people.

8.) Don't say the first name of your old husband in front of your new husband if new hubby hasn't introduced you yet.

9.) The war buddy bond is tough to crack.

10.) Crazy people don't like can labels, big hair, people who look better in red, and bounty hunters.

11.) If you wake up under your bunk ladder and are locked inside, don't make faces at the crazy girl. She really can devise better plans than you.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, March 20, 2004 7:26 PM

ANGELDOVE

Quote:
Originally posted by InevitableBetrayal:

4) If Inara has a female client, knock before you enter Jayne's quarters.

I can't..stop...laughing. Thanks for that, I needed a good laugh!

I only fell is all.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, March 23, 2004 5:35 AM

DTT

Ooh, I forgot one:

There is hope for humanity: bobblehead dolls will be outlawed in the future.

"You didn't have to wound that man."
"Yeah, I know. It was just funny."

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, March 26, 2004 3:00 PM

MERAT

In the future, guns and bullets will still be the weapon of choice.

Zoe has a REALLY shiny gun.

You need to be standing more than two feet away to effectively test a walky-talky.

Tragic space dementia makes you all paranoid and crotchety.

Simon is Mal's hero, but only if he wants to be REALLY sarcastic.

If you kill your wife's nephew and hang him like a side of beef, expect an earfull at dinner.

Can't get paid if you're dead.

Can't get paid if you crawl away like a bitty little bug neither.

Its bad when River starts making sense to you.

Carved ducks and carved swans are often difficult to tell apart.

Dear diary: "Today, I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Today, we were kidnapped by hill folk, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever."

Getting there in the nick of time makes you big damn heros.

Do not be excluding people. That'd be rude

Some people may want you captured alive. Sgt. McGinnis is not one of them.

When deciding to stab your captain in the back, have the guts to do it to his face.

Hearing "Take me sir. Take me hard." can be downright unsettling.

River should rub soup in her hair. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it.

If wishes were horses, we'd all be eatin' steak.

Big, black moustaches are traditional.

Ship like Serenity'll be with you until the day you die.

And its NOT because shes a deathtrap!

Inara has funny whorin' stories.

Jayne will never hear them.

Midgets can be deadly and unpredictable.

Jayne getting naked is NOT a good distraction.

The crew of Serenity has guns. Don't ask about brains....

Aliens are upsidedown, mutated cow fetuses.

Jayne has nothing to fear from Simon while on the operating table.

River, though, can kill him with her brain.

A pretty, floral bonnet can be a very effective disguise.

Someone out there was going to find out that their worst nightmare was a maddened Librarian

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, April 3, 2004 4:15 PM

BUDCLARE

I learned to say "ain't". :)

***

"She has had congress with the beast."

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, April 30, 2004 2:38 PM

WIZZLER

I can't really add much but

I learned that wash is so in tune with serenity that he can fly her without actually holding the controls.

Oh an sticky can be placed around the vaults lock before Jayne has handed it to you.

Wizzler C.E.O.

"This land pest control" : Keeping Fox execs populations down since 2004

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, May 18, 2004 3:31 AM

DAVEUKFAN

When a lady shows you her guns she's after sex in return.

You sent money home to your parents and you get cool knitted hats.

If you arrest their traitor, you don't have to pay him.

Nothing says "We love you" like starting a riot.

Big hair can be very scary.

The first few minutes of a bullet to the abdomen are crutial

"Fine, I'll get naked"

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, May 18, 2004 1:46 PM

GRACEOM

1. If a box is big enough to contain a body, it probably does.

2. The body is not really dead.

3. If a woman tells you she's glad you slept with her friend, she's lying (Duh!).

4. Guns are female. I suppose I should have known this already, but I didn't.

5. When a beautiful con artist bursts into guilty tears, she's trying to distract you so she can steal your gun (Duh!)

6. Good looking men with lots of money are apt to treat women like property, and other men like monkey feces (Duh!)

7. Beware of rustic maidens bearing bowls of wine (Duh!)

8. A geek who plays with plastic dinosaurs can be very hot in the sack.

9. Cursing in Mandarin is creative and fun and totally fools the censors.

10. Sneak an intelligent, complex, funny, beautifully imagined and performed show onto network TV, and the execs heads will explode. As far as they're concerned, people who like such "arty" shows are not desirable viewers--as in they're statistically less likely to be influenced by the sponsors' advertisements and rush out to buy Big Macs. Reality TV fans are the gullible sort they're after. Gotta keep those sponsors happy!

Grace

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, May 21, 2004 2:12 AM

MANTICHORUS

Some of these may have already appeared. If so, sorry.
1. When doing anything on the bridge, the 3 magic buttons make it happen.
2. If Mal ever kills you, you'll be awake, facin' him and armed.
3. Drunks are so cute... apparently.
4. If you torture/maim/kill your spouse's nephew, you'll get an earful at dinner.
5. If Mal dies, you get his share.
6. The management is NEVER responsible for anything...
7. Wearing a red sash sideways does not always mean the wearer has won the Miss Persephone Pageant.
8. Jayne likes smackin' 'em.
9. Well, a good goat would do that.
And finally...
10. Zoe is very much lacking in imagination.
Oops! Forgot this one...
11. Simon's very proud of his talent for alienatin' folk.
Heh-heh. God bless the edit button:
12. Mal only thinks he's better than people he's better than.
13. When in doubt, give a psychic a gun.
14. If someone says 'Two by two, hands of blue', PEG IT!!!
-------------------------------------------
"BADGER: You think you're better than other people.
MAL: Just the ones I'm better than."
-------------------------------------
"MAL: Gotta say, doctor, your talent for alienatin' folk is near miraculous.
SIMON: Yes, I'm very proud."

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, June 4, 2004 7:01 PM

PINGJING

Quote:
Originally posted by CaptBaggytrousers:

3. Sniff the air; don't kiss the dirt.

By far my favorite lesson learned - heck, that's the show in a nutshell.

Julia

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, June 5, 2004 11:43 AM

Quote:
If you kill your wife's nephew and hang him like a side of beef, expect an earfull at dinner.

Gorram, that's funny! Man, I was laughing so hard over here...

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follows"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, June 5, 2004 12:07 PM

SUCCATASH

10 Things I learned from watching Firefly

1. Joss is God

2. Ben Edlund is incredible.

3. Buffy is cool.

4. Angel is even cooler.

5. Wesley is even cooler than Angel.

6. I really like Angel.

7. A lot of people think the Civil War wasn't about slavery.

8. I really hate Reality TV.

9. Firefly is my favorite show.

10. I need more Firefly.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, June 5, 2004 12:59 PM

Important people don't do field work.

Top Ten Things I Learned From "Out of Gas"

1. When introducing Zoe to your shiny new ship, pay attention to where she's pointing when she says "What is that?" That's where you're going to be laying, bleeding someday.

2. That cake you're not eating...It's pretty much what you just ate.

3. When your psychic, psychotic sister says "Fire", she's not talking about your birthday candles.

4. Keep Zoe around. She makes a great human shield when engine parts blow up.

5. When disaster falls, mention it was your birthday. Inara will hold your hand.

6. Bester is a crappy mechanic. He likes tail too much, and that girl he was banging is such a better mechanic than he is.

7. That something that the hot warrior woman doesn't like about you...It's your mustache.

8. Beware people offering you exactly the engine part you need. They're bastards.

9. Jayne wants 10% and a bigger room. Give it to him. Your leg will thank you.

10. You don't have to die alone. If you survive, your crew will be there when you wake up.

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, June 6, 2004 11:36 AM

Important people don't do field work.

That was fun! In fact, I think I'm gonna go episode for episode, and really annoy the go se out of everybody.

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, June 8, 2004 2:20 PM

Important people don't do field work.

Top Ten Things I learned from "Shindig"

1. Just because Malcolm Reynolds defends your honor at a party, doesn't mean he's going to stop calling you a whore.

2. People with english accents in the Firefly 'verse tend to be bastards. Except River, and she's only playing around.

3. Even space hookers know more about swordplay than our illustrious captain.

4. Buy Kaylee that dress and stop saying that her wearing it would be like a sheep walking on its hind legs. She looks better in it than you think.

5. You're playing cards with Jayne? And you turn your back on him? For shame.

6. The Miss Persephone Pagent has some ugly winners.

7. Watch out for the camerawork in the party scene. Especially when Mal and Kaylee get there. While its pretty, it might make you sick.

8. Stop gloating over your percieved duel victory. If you'd just stab the guy, Mr. Wing, you might've won. Not you. You got distracted by the space hooker.

9. That dress with too much foofaraw makes a great wall hanging in Kaylee's room. Or a shower curtain, I'm not sure which.

10. Its good to have cargo, even if they don't remember to be cows 'til they get out.

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, June 8, 2004 5:37 PM

Important people don't do field work.

These get funner with each new one...

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, June 14, 2004 7:34 PM

Hi,

I've been lurking here for a while. This is a great site. Here is my first post:

If you are fortunate enough for Inara to accept you as a client, then be polite and gracious, drink the tea, enjoy the experience, and afterward have the good sense to thank her and depart with no fuss. Do not bother with asking her to stay with you. Inara has no interest in becoming your wife, your mistress, your pet, or your toy. Do not offer her any petty insults and for goodness sake, don’t try to kill the love of her life right before her eyes. These things will only hurt your chances of being a repeat customer.

Got Mudder's Milk?

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, June 14, 2004 8:06 PM

From “Serenity” (and Others):

Zoe is always ready. Bendis, not so much.

If you shoot down an enemy plane with a Big Damn Gun, then take care not to be under it when it crashes.

If you are a businessman with shady dealings, give everyone who works in your office a gun. Could come in handy.

The silly, klutzy guy? He’s the one to watch out for!

Don’t give Mal orders on his own ship. He hates that. But if you absolutely must get your way, then threaten to let Kaylee die. While this will work, be warned that it will upset Mal, and he may feel obliged to play a nasty practical joke on you.

If you DO get Mal upset with you, then remember to bring along your crazy sister in a box. It will garner sympathy. Either that or save Kaylee’s life. Do both, and he’ll ask you to stay as part of his crew.

A standard Companion immunization package won’t hurt.

Imprinted goods are at a discount.

If Patience doesn’t haggle over the price, then she’s planning to shoot you again.

If you have a silly name and wear a silly hat, then you WILL be shot (even if you are Jayne; it just takes a few more episodes). Yes, it’s only a matter of time for Badger!

If you ain’t weak, then that’s not nuthin’.

If Mal ever kills you, you’ll be awake, you’ll be facing him, and you’ll be armed… Unless he just sneaks up behind you, bashes you upside the head with a wrench, and tosses you out an air lock. Which method he chooses might depend on how sentimental he’s feeling at the time, or whether or not he’s had a good day.

Got Mudder's Milk?

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, June 16, 2004 4:24 PM

Important people don't do field work.

Top Ten Things I Learned From "Jaynestown"

1. If a one eyed, armed, hostile man comes into the bar where you're eating breakfast, don't call him "sir".

2. Medical tape hurts. When Mal tells you not to take a gun, listen to the man.

3. Never judge a son by his father. The father might be an ass, but the son might listen to everyone's favorite space hooker.

4. The captain knows your name, Jackass.

5. Sometimes hitting a man in the chest with the blade side of a knife ain't enough. Sometimes you've got to pound him into a statue dedicated to you.

6. Even though your husband's been drinking, the story he's telling you about Jayne is absolutely true.

7. Mudders...Great human shotgun blast shields.

8. Simon, Simon, Simon...sigh. Can't you keep from saying the wrong thing at the wrong time? "Son of a bitch" aside?

9. Serenity has a pretty goofy landlock warning screen.

10. If you order a milk, and the bartender slaps it out of your hand, don't get offended. He'll probably give you something better.

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, June 16, 2004 4:37 PM

From “Heart Of Gold”:

The whores ARE prettier than the whorehouse.

If you flunk out of Whore Academy, don’t worry. All you have to do is learn how to say “ain’t”, and you can get your own business.

If someone calls you “sly”, they might not be complimenting your cleverness.

If you don’t remember where everything goes, just take it real slow.

Jayne may be something of a brutish thug, but if you are his whore, he will treat you well. He will even dress up for you in his best button-down shirt, brush your hair, and show you all his guns.

The Real Me

[Edited as per Nuisance]

Got Mudder's Milk?

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, June 16, 2004 5:36 PM

NUISANCE

Quote:
THEREALME wrote:
Jayne may be something of a brutish thug, but if you are his whore, he will treat you well. He will even dress up for you in his best button-down shirt and show you all his guns.

You forgot to mention he'll brush your hair.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, June 16, 2004 7:04 PM

Important people don't do field work.

The Top Ten Things I Learned "The Train Job"

1. Crow. Big guy, but not so big he can stop a large turbine engine.

2. The sherriff of some towns can be nice guys. Get arrested, and they'll share a cigarette with you.

3. Steal the medicine, no parades. Them's the rules.

4. While Niska may be a snappy dresser and look like your grandaddy, he ain't. In fact, he's so hell bent on reputation that it isn't even safe to be his nephew.

5. Joey Bloggs...Dead. Do a little research from time to time.

6. Our favorite space hooker has a mean right hook.

7. No matter what, remember that I love you. We're married, remember?

8. Some jobs, I'd pull for free, but I ain't going to give up my share of the take. Well, maybe if I'm dead.

9. That chain of command? Kinda hard to get around that.

10. Its a good thing Jayne's so heavy. If he hadn't been, they'd have gotten him into the infirmary, and Mal would've have been skewered on Crow's ridiculous looking knife. I mean more so.

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, June 16, 2004 8:27 PM

TALLCARDDEALER

Hi, I'm brand new. This thread is worth joining the club just to participate in. I'm happy to say that I have both the time and the patience to go over the whole thread to make sure I don't have any repeaters.

here goes:

-If you’re the pilot of a spaceship and you get arrested, you can always say you were flying the ship by accident.
-If you rely on luck you end up on the drift.
-If everyone always has the advantage over you, it means you are special.
-Never underestimate what a brilliant civilian doctor will do to save his deranged sister. (see Serenity, Ariel, Objects in Space...)
-Don’t be shy about killing big thuggish guys who threaten you. (read: you don’t need Greedo to shoot first).
-If you have a good pressure catch among your spare parts, you can make a formidable booby trap.
-Be careful with slave traders. They are very good drinkers.
-The AD-10 is the same machine. They just changed the plating and hoped no one would notice.
-Swinging a sword from the shoulder may be stronger, but it’s also slower than swinging from the elbow.
-Getting stabbed in the hip isn’t a total disaster if you can line up some exciting new crime.
-A Firefly will run forever with a mechanic even half awake.
-Mudder’s Milk is 15% alcohol.

-Prairie Harpies make better mechanics than surfers with body paint.
-50 platinum is about 20 Alliance credits.
-Important people don’t do field work.
-Ending up naked and stranded is no reason to think you didn’t win.
-You can get a badge for learning how to drop your weapon so that you can eat beans and get yourself shot.
-Watch out for the Warrior Woman behind you while you're sneaking up on a private who got a badge in dropping his weapon so he could eat beans and get himself shot.
-First rule of battle: Never let the enemy know where you are (of course, there are other schools of thought...

)
-There is no such thing as a magical wish-granting plank.
-When you’ve had a lot of sake, you can attract the feds by singing.
-If you call your space companion a whore, she has the right to call you a petty thief.

Any petty criminal knows that the small, concealable weapons always go to the left side of the place-setting.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, June 16, 2004 8:45 PM

Important people don't do field work.

Top Ten Things I Learned from "Trash"

1. Saffron, Bridget...whatever. Just because she didn't shoot you when she had the chance doesn't mean she can be trusted. Didn't you learn anything the first time?

2. The Lassiter, while historic, is not a reliable weapon. That eyebrow plucker looking thing the space hooker is carrying, however, works just fine.

3. Making a man you married as part of a con shave off his beard only gets you called a "Devil Woman" and thrown off his ship.

4. You won't die from being locked in a trash bin even if you have a condition. You just won't be as hot, or smell anywhere in the vicinity of good.

5. When a con artist leaves you for dead, butt nekkid in the middle of a desert, it is perfectly alright to call her a dirty, dirty whore!

6. Cross Zoe, get knocked down. Them's the rules. Especially after you tell her to get over it.

7. Everyone loves little wobbly headed geisha dolls. Except space hookers.

8. Simon won't hurt you on his table. River can kill you with her brain. You do the math. God knows she already has.

9. Yeah, you saw YoSaffBridge with no clothes on. Yuo probably still haven't seen her nekkid. But, she, and the rest of America are going to see your "Green Apple".

10. Opening an episode of Firefly with Cap'n Reynolds nekkid on a rock muttering "That went well" is a very good way to get people to watch the flashback. I'm not gay or anything...I'm just sayin's all.

No, really, even my own father wanted to see that episode, and he don't like the show.

Maybe he's gay too...

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, June 17, 2004 4:29 PM

From “Objects in Space”:

They don’t cut it off or nuthin’.

Inara is a big girl.

When it comes to the combination to the gun locker, Jayne’s mind can be as good as a post-it note.

When you think about it, a stick and a gun are pretty much the same sort of thing.

Fully loaded and safety off is a recipe for unpleasantness.

Mathemetics is deadly.

River IS Batgirl.

For goodness sake, LOCK THE DOORS!

When the bounty hunter tells you that you might find an opening and turn the tables on him, he is just messing with you. You don’t have a chance.

That ain’t a shepherd.

Sometimes, bounty hunters lick walls, shoot doctors, kick shepherds in the head, and smack space hookers across the mouth. Does that seem right to you?

Someone incorporeally possessing a space ship is nonsensical crap. Ain’t nobody can do that.

Midgets can be deadly and unpredictable. And some little men love fire.

Sometimes, River ISN’T crazy.

Even if Jayne loves you, he will steal all the covers.

Use the extra-strong boot magnets.

You don’t have to be a genius to play jacks, but it helps.

A gas giant planet, when sufficiently compressed, can substitute fine as a bouncing ball.

Always carry a remote control device keyed to your ship.

The Real Me

Got Mudder's Milk?

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, June 17, 2004 5:59 PM

TallCardDealer,

I'd extend a welcome on behalf of the board, but I just sorta joined myself.

So, until I feel a bit more confident here, I will extend a welcome on behalf of ME.

Yeah, I loved this thread, too.

The Real Me

Got Mudder's Milk?

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, June 19, 2004 9:52 PM