Lost in French Translation, Part 01: Serenity, the Pilot by fortinm

FIREFLY EPISODE DISCUSSIONS

Lost in French Translation, Part 01: Serenity, the Pilot

POSTED BY: FORTINM
UPDATED: Saturday, November 10, 2007 12:00
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Thursday, November 8, 2007 5:03 PM

This article is part of a series of reviews analysing the translation work for the French dubbed Firefly series and movie(s). It is intended for anyone who would like to know a little better how a French audience would perceive Joss’ wonderful creation.

Introduction to this series: http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=4&t=31382
Next review (The Train Job): http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=4&t=31461

The various excerpts analyses are formatted like this:
In bold is the original line.
In italic is the French translation replacing the original lines.
In bold and italic is my English translation of the French lines.
In regular text is my personal comment on the translation work for the excerpt.

General comments
On the whole the translation work on Serenity: the Pilot is average. There are a few jokes missing. The translators took a little too much liberties with the material and there are a few puzzling lines; lines that, on their own, make no sense to me. You'll be able to judge this for yourself in the detailed section below.

In the heat of the Serenity Valley battle, the anonymous French voices that punctuate the action are more loud and clear. In English, it is difficult to make out what the voices are saying. I definitely prefer the original version. The dubbed battle contains a few lines that are somewhat distracting and do not ring as true for me.

Badger's voice does not stand out. The voice actor has no particular accent. This is a more trivial difference, but worth mentioning for this important character.

The term "Reaver" was translated by "termite" which means, you guessed it, termite. I don’t mind this choice even though a termite is not really scary.

The Chinese lines that were kept are:
- During the salvage operation, when Mal interrupts Zoe and Jayne chatting over the com.
- At the end of the sponge scene, when Inara invites Book to come in.

Translation score: 3/5
Chinese score: 2/14

Chosen Excerpts

MAL
Huh? Look at that chiselled jaw, huh?
Hein? Il nous laissera sur terre, je te dis. Hein?
Huh? He won't take us from this world, I tell you. Huh?
A good banter that was removed. In French, he just repeats the previous sentence.

KAYLEE
Okay. Now I can't get down.
Et je redescends dans le noir.
And I climb down in the dark.
No comments.

ENSIGN
Should we deploy gunships, bring her in?
On déploie une escadrille pour les pulvériser?
Do we deploy a squadron to pulverize them?
A bit too drastic, don't you think?

MAL and WASH
- Cry, Baby, Cry.
- Make your mother sigh. Engaging the crybaby.
- On y est presque, Wash.
- Bienvenue à bord. Installez-vous. Attachez vos ceintures s'il vous plait.
- We're almost there, Wash.
- Welcome aboard. Settle down. Buckle up please.
Removing the "cry baby" reference makes it very hard to understand the decoy tactic.

JAYNE
Let's moon 'em.
Tu peux appuyer.
You can put your foot hard down. Or: You can floor it.
Lose its insulting connotation. In French, it sounds a bit silly, but I admit that "mooning" is very difficult to translate in so many words!

WASH and ZOE
- Joo ta ma ya ming. Zhu Yi. (Watch your back)
- We will.
- Zoe, t'as pas oublié? Parle-lui.
- Je le ferai.
- Zoe, you didn't forget? Talk to him.
- I will.
Here, the translators decided to reference the earlier scene about the vacation, apparently on their own initiative. It does not match very well Wash anxious face.

BADGER
Crime and politics, little girl: the situation is always fluid.
En crime comme en politique, la situation doit toujours être limpide.
In crime as in politic, the situation must always be limpid.
No comments.

MAL and BADGER
- Wheel never stops turnin', Badger.
- That only matter to the people on the rim.
- La roue continuera de tourner, Badger.
- C'est vrai pour ceux qui n'ont pas besoin de ramer.
- The wheel will keep turning, Badger.
- It's true for those who don't have to slog.
I must say that I've always been confused by this exchange between Mal and Badger. I think I know what they mean, but I'm not sure. Anyway, it doesn't make more sense in French, on the contrary.

MAL (about Patience having shot at him)
Well, yeah. She did a bit. Still...
Oui. Elle est un peu spéciale, c'est vrai.
Yes. She's a bit peculiar, that's true.
This is different but as funny as the original, if not more.

MAL (before leaving Persephone)
This all we got?
C'est bon? Ça y est?
It's good? That's it?
In French, the insult is almost absent in words, but, of course, Mal's face speaks volume.

MAL
Everybody's makin' a fuss.
Ça arrive à tout le monde de s'énerver.
Everybody lose their temper sometimes.
Again, a joke replaced by another one, not necessarily worse.

MAL
There's plenty of planets won't even let you dock without a decent Companion on board.
Beaucoup de passagers exigent une date de compagnie à bord.
Many passengers demand a Companion on board.
This does not do a good job stating that a Companion is a highly respectable occupation and it establishes that Inara services passengers, which, I'm sure you'll agree, is highly improbable.

INARA
Just the one. I think I'm slipping.
Un seul. J'aurais dû dire oui.
Only one. I should have said yes.
This is said off-screen so it could have easily been more faithful to the original line. The words are certainly stronger in French, but they do agree with Mal's face. This is an interesting choice and I'm not sure I prefer one over the other.

INARA
Believe me, I've called him worse.
Mais on m'a dit encore pire que ça.
But I've been called even worse than that.
It's disappointing that Inara's character was transformed in this line from a strong woman to a victim.

MAL (seeing Dobson pointing his gun in his general direction)
Son of a bitch!
Ah! Je l'avais oublié lui.
Ah! I forgot this one.
This is a somewhat inappropriate to the situation, although this character is indeed unassuming and can warrant this line.

MAL (when Dobson says that everyone is culpable)
That has an effect on the landscape.
Il faut tous nous arrêter.
You have to arrest us all.
No comments.

JAYNE
Pain is scary.
La peur, c'est douloureux.
Fear is painful.
I'm sorry, but it doesn't work. The question stayed the same, so this response makes no sense.

MAL
Getting awful crowded in my sky.
La vermine, ça n'en a jamais assez.
The vermin never has enough.
It loses some poetry and the original line can be applied to the entire episode. It's a very decent summary of the series, contrary to this translation.

INARA (to Simon) and MAL
- You're lost in the woods. We all are. Even the captain. The only difference is, he likes it that way.
- No the difference is, the woods are the only place I can see a clear path.
- Vous avez perdu votre sang-froid. Comme nous tous. Même le commandant. La seule différence, c'est que, lui, il aime ça.
- Non. La seule différence, c'est que sur ce vaisseau, c'est moi qui commande.
- You lost your cool. Like all of us. Even the captain. The only difference is that he likes it.
- No. The only difference is that, on this ship, I'm the one giving the orders.
Again, less poetry. This is definitely more blunt in French.

PATIENCE (about the stolen Alliance marked goods)
I like that you're up front about it.
Et puis, c'est bien fait pour eux.
Furthermore, it serves them right.
No comments.

MAL
I want Patience thinking they're in place.
Ils ne doivent pas quitter leur place.
They must not leave their position.
What?

MAL
Everyone always does. That's what makes us special.
C'est la loi du genre. On verra si on la respecte.
It's the way it is. We'll see if we follow it.
It's less heroic, to say the least.

MAL
Walkin' and talkin'.
Tu vois, j'ai grandi.
You see, I grew up.
Ah! I much prefer the French line.

ZOE
Armor's dented.
Une chemise toute neuve.
An all new shirt.
I didn't know Zoe cared about clothing. Didn't she ask for Wash to tear her clothes off later? Well, in French, maybe not.

WASH
How would you feel about pullin' a Crazy Ivan?
Ça te dit de tenter un grand renversement?
Are you up to a great reversal?
That's right, no reference to our beloved Ivan in this episode.

KAYLEE
That's my girl... That's my good girl.
On les a bien eus, hein? On a bien joué le coup.
We owned them, huh? We played it well.
It's a good performance from Jewel, so her love for the ship still transpires, but to a lesser degree.

ZOE
I need this man to tear all my clothes off.
Je voudrais passer un moment seul avec lui.
I would like to be alone with him, for a while.
Yep. Less effective humour.

SIMON
Well, you're a dummy.
Tu me connais mal.
You don't know me very well.
I find this less brotherly. If you're observant, you will notice the word "mal", which has kept its meaning and its spelling from Latin to French!

MAL
I had a good day.
J'ai beaucoup travaillé.
I worked a lot.
I don't see the relevance of this phrase here.

That's it. Thanks for reading!

Michel

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Thursday, November 8, 2007 7:22 PM

DAVESHAYNE

Quote:
Originally posted by fortinm:
MAL and BADGER
- Wheel never stops turnin', Badger.
- That only matter to the people on the rim.
- La roue continuera de tourner, Badger.
- C'est vrai pour ceux qui n'ont pas besoin de ramer.
- The wheel will keep turning, Badger.
- It's true for those who don't have to slog.
I must say that I've always been confused by this exchange between Mal and Badger.

Interesting analysis of the translation and problems inherent, particularly in a show that is as much about language as Firefly. As for the line, "The wheel never stops turning" this is Mal's poetical way of saying that Badger will come to regret not dealing with him. It's related to the phrase, "what goes around comes around." Badger for his part turns the metaphor aside by noting that the hub of the wheel doesn't turn and as he is in the center it doesn't matter what comes around.

Not sure if that actually made sense or not. I seem to be having a lack of eloquence at the moment.

David

'Geeks can't admit that anything worthwhile was invented before 1981. Soon, "making cocoa" will be called "milk hacking."' - Lore Sjoberg

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Friday, November 9, 2007 12:19 AM

JEWELSTAITEFAN

Cry Baby Cry isn't any better in captions. It says "lyrics" while the decoy is being jettisoned.

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Friday, November 9, 2007 12:32 AM

WYTCHCROFT

Quote:
Originally posted by daveshayne:
Quote:
Originally posted by fortinm:
MAL and BADGER
- Wheel never stops turnin', Badger.
- That only matter to the people on the rim.
- La roue continuera de tourner, Badger.
- C'est vrai pour ceux qui n'ont pas besoin de ramer.
- The wheel will keep turning, Badger.
- It's true for those who don't have to slog.
I must say that I've always been confused by this exchange between Mal and Badger.

Interesting analysis of the translation and problems inherent, particularly in a show that is as much about language as Firefly. As for the line, "The wheel never stops turning" this is Mal's poetical way of saying that Badger will come to regret not dealing with him. It's related to the phrase, "what goes around comes around." Badger for his part turns the metaphor aside by noting that the hub of the wheel doesn't turn and as he is in the center it doesn't matter what comes around.

Not sure if that actually made sense or not. I seem to be having a lack of eloquence at the moment.

David

'Geeks can't admit that anything worthwhile was invented before 1981. Soon, "making cocoa" will be called "milk hacking."' - Lore Sjoberg

nice to see this being picked up - it's my fave badger/mal exchange.

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Friday, November 9, 2007 2:29 AM

GRIZWALD

They shoulda just left the Cry Baby Cry exchange in English. Don't they think there are any French Beatles fans?

___________________________________________________
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Click on my profile for my Annoyingly Long List of Firefly Links.

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Friday, November 9, 2007 2:31 AM

GRIZWALD

Quote:
Originally posted by daveshayne:Not sure if that actually made sense or not. I seem to be having a lack of eloquence at the moment.

David

Oh David, you missed a glorious opportunity to hack a Firefly quote! You shoulda said, you seem to have a problem with your eloquence bein' missing!

___________________________________________________
High Priestess of Pork and Ag-Related Activities of the MYTHICAL LAND OF IOWA

Click on my profile for my Annoyingly Long List of Firefly Links.

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Friday, November 9, 2007 5:06 AM

ASARIAN

Hey FORTINM, mighty shiny post. :) And welcome to the 'Verse! I take it you're French? So, lemme willingly put my foot in my mouth, lol, and try and suggest a few things, regardless of the fact that I'm not a native French speaker. :) Why, you DID, after all, ask for feedback in your earlier installment, right?

Quote:

KAYLEE
Okay. Now I can't get down.
Et je redescends dans le noir.
And I climb down in the dark.
No comments.

It refers to this exchange, moments earlier:

WASH
Kaylee! Go to black out! We're
being buzzed!

She hits the com --

KAYLEE
(in Chinese)
Affirmative,
(in English)
going dark --

"redescendre dans le noir" (lit. "redescend into the back") is an expression I've heard of the sun who sets, for instance. Or of people retreating into the night (often also simply as in 'going to bed'). So, Kaylee's comment could translate to something like:

"And there I go dark again."

Which I think is really not all that bad, given the context.

Quote:

JAYNE
Let's moon 'em.
Tu peux appuyer.
You can put your foot hard down. Or: You can floor it.
Lose its insulting connotation. In French, it sounds a bit silly, but I admit it is very difficult to translate.

Well, I think "You can floor it." certainly is the better of the two. Personally, I'd go for something like:

"You can push off now."

Like "Floor it," it has a bit of an element of leaving them in the dust, but is not nearly as cute as "Let's moon 'em," of course. :)

Quote:

MAL and BADGER
- Wheel never stops turnin', Badger.
- That only matter to the people on the rim.
- La roue continuera de tourner, Badger.
- C'est vrai pour ceux qui n'ont pas besoin de ramer.
- The wheel will keep turning, Badger.
- It's true for those who don't have to slog.
I must say that I've always been confused by this exchange between Mal and Badger. I think I know what they mean, but I'm not sure. Anyway, it doesn't make more sense in French, on the contrary.

Hard to determine what 'besoin (de)' precisely means in this context. Could be any number of things; like "Have to", "need to", "wish/care to". I might translate this as follows:

"It's true for those who don't care to peddle."

In other words: it only holds true for those who passively go with the current (like allegedly folks on the rim); whereas Badger fancies himself a bit of a shaker and dealer, not necessarily seeing himself caught up in the inevitability of the stream. It's also not nearly as poetic as the English convo, though.

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Friday, November 9, 2007 7:28 AM

DAVESHAYNE

Quote:
Originally posted by Grizwald:
Quote:
Originally posted by daveshayne:Not sure if that actually made sense or not. I seem to be having a lack of eloquence at the moment.

David

Oh David, you missed a glorious opportunity to hack a Firefly quote! You shoulda said, you seem to have a problem with your eloquence bein' missing!

In my defence, I seemed (at the time) to be having a problem with my eloquence being missing.

David

'Geeks can't admit that anything worthwhile was invented before 1981. Soon, "making cocoa" will be called "milk hacking."' - Lore Sjoberg

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Friday, November 9, 2007 8:46 AM

FORTINM

My thanks to daveshayne for a pristine explanation! It was, more or less, what I was thinking it meant.

Asarian:

Quote:
Why, you DID, after all, ask for feedback in your earlier installment, right?

I surely did. Thanks for taking the bait!

About the "redescendre dans le noir" expression: I was unaware of this one. In short, you are saying that there is a figurative sense to the French line, right? Yet, I'm still not convinced that the translators purposely chose this metaphor; but it may be a cultural misunderstanding. Although French is my primary language, I am not French. I was born and raised in Québec (Canada). No doubt, I will make further mistakes and omissions along the way. Thanks for pointing them out.

Quote:
Well, I think "You can floor it." certainly is the better of the two.

I think you may have misunderstood my "difficult to translate" comment. I should have said that "Let's moon 'em" is very difficult to translate in French. I can't find an equivalent and the chosen French line sounds a bit silly. I'll edit my comment to clarify this.

Finally, thanks for your intriguing take on the "turning wheel" dialog. It makes more sense this way.

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Friday, November 9, 2007 2:42 PM

ASARIAN

Quote:
David wrote:

As for the line, "The wheel never stops turning" this is Mal's poetical way of saying that Badger will come to regret not dealing with him. It's related to the phrase, "what goes around comes around." Badger for his part turns the metaphor aside by noting that the hub of the wheel doesn't turn and as he is in the center it doesn't matter what comes around.

David is very right, of course. Just like to add that I don't believe the metaphor of the 'turning wheel' was just chosen randomly. Their 'Verse is replete with Buddhism. And in Buddhism, 'The Wheel' (of karma and rebirth), called "Samsara", is a well-known concept. Samsara, in turn, is Sanskrit for "continuous movement". As long as karma exists, the wheel keeps turning (the boat in the amateur series Into the Black, btw, is also called Samsara). So, indeed, Mal means to say they have some unfinished business. In their highly Buddhistically influenced world, I think Badger would have had no problem understanding Mal's expression at all.

Quote:
fortinm wrote:

Finally, thanks for your intriguing take on the "turning wheel" dialog. It makes more sense this way.

Well, it still don't make no sense. At least, the French seems to have ran off with an entirely different metaphor--and then only if you were to interpret the French the way I did (which isn't necessarily the correct way). If you go with your "It's true for those who don't have to slog," I can't even come up with any sensible meaning of that saying which would even remotely fit. Oh well, sometimes a thing gets broke, can't be fixed. :)

Keep up the shiny work!

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Saturday, November 10, 2007 9:38 AM

WALTZING

Hey- this is a really cool post. Thanks for taking the time!

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Saturday, November 10, 2007 12:00 PM

CYBERSNARK

Quote:
Originally posted by asarian:
Quote:
David wrote:

As for the line, "The wheel never stops turning" this is Mal's poetical way of saying that Badger will come to regret not dealing with him. It's related to the phrase, "what goes around comes around." Badger for his part turns the metaphor aside by noting that the hub of the wheel doesn't turn and as he is in the center it doesn't matter what comes around.

David is very right, of course. Just like to add that I don't believe the metaphor of the 'turning wheel' was just chosen randomly. Their 'Verse is replete with Buddhism. And in Buddhism, 'The Wheel' (of karma and rebirth), called "Samsara", is a well-known concept.

For a more poetical explanation, check out "Karma Slave" by the group Splashdown.

"Today I'll be spinning on a Wheel,
I'm a slave to a Wheel
And there isn't any stopping.
What mistakes could I have made?
I'm a slave serving time for a life that I've forgotten.

I'm a slave of Karma.
Spin the Wheel and I'm a king reborn.
I'm a slave to Karma
I'm coming back, yeah, I'll be coming back,
But for the last time.

Today I'm a king on the Wheel,
Still a slave to the Wheel,
But this time around I'm smiling.
Keep me cautious, keep me safe, just in case there's a chance
I can leave this Wheel behind me.

Stand in the Middle and you won't get dizzy.
Stand in the Middle and you won't fall down.
If you stand in the Middle you can keep your balance.
Stand in the Middle while the Wheel spins round and round.

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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