Sorry, double post...ignore this one by patsrule

Quote:
Originally posted by Dayve:
you guys are cool
and kinda crazy..

The only way to be.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 8:48 AM

Oh yes the sporking shall continue untill moral improves!!!

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 8:49 AM

To Boldly set Spork where no Skreet has laid Skort before.

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
And as you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 8:49 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
Or am I in fact God?

Like the man said, "Thou art God."

Which reminds me, everyone read Stranger in a Strange Land.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 8:49 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by christhecynic:
Quote:
I mean have you ever tried to overpower a god? It's not easy, if she doesn't want to go in she isn't going in.

Ah I see the problem! You just need a God neutralizing compound! You can get those anywhere God supplies are sold.

Silly rabbit! Tricks are for kids

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 8:50 AM

Well I don't dislike her or anything, and she doesn't act up, she just goes missing, so do I really want to neutralize her? Or lock her up for that matter?

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 8:52 AM

Yes and now we must kill you and eay you so that we may absorb your essence!

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 8:53 AM

I grok Stranger in a Strange Land.

"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." Mal

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 8:53 AM

I'm not discorporeating until I'm good and ready.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 8:54 AM

The god outlet here is going out bussiness! I've got to stock up on god feed and god treats. 50% off if anyone's interested in a good deal. 70 miles to the only other store too! Looks like I'll have to buy all my supplies online now. Damn! It's the shipping cost that really get you.

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 8:54 AM

And grok the essence that is you.

"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." Mal

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 8:54 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by FollowMal:
I grok Stranger in a Strange Land.

Well said.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 8:55 AM

I got a truck CoPilot.. betcha I can haul all your God goodies cheaper.

"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." Mal

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:00 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by copilot:
Damn! It's the shipping cost that really get you.

Anyone remember that bit in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:02 AM

Thanks FollowMal! I can pay for gas and something for milage. I live on the darkside of the moon so I don't maybe 10 cents a mile?

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:02 AM

I don't know about you people, but I prefer my Christhecynic essence fried, not poached.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:04 AM

You say you spork me! Well I say I stab at you with my winkelmesser!

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:04 AM

There's a guide?!? Is is avalible in paper back yet? And silly me I've been doing it all on my own! Perhaps there's a towel outlet near me mine is getting a little raggity. Opps silly me going off topic

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:06 AM

Yes my christhecynic essence must be fried! Poaching is bad for the digestive tract.

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:09 AM

I can't believe you all were going to let this thread of random slip off the front page originally.

Shame Shame for the slipage of the thread!

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
And as you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:12 AM

All hail the right knowing Citizen. For he saw the random thread and saved it from its slipage. For he is the random one and he shall be praised!

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:15 AM

EMMARIGBY

I say poach him with some fava beans and serve with a nice Bordeaux (not a fan of white wine!)

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:16 AM

The slipage has been properly sporked!

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:18 AM

I am a fully paid up member of team random

Seriously I have a mug and everything:
http://www.twisted-imaginings.com/Share/mug.JPG

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
And as you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:19 AM

Have you ever had christhecynic essecene pan fried with a little garlic and fennel? (insert chef finger kissing move here)
Penny for the person who can name that movie.

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:21 AM

TRISTAN

*runs through the thread covering his head*

SKY'S FALLING!!!

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:21 AM

Is that mug avalible in the gift shop?

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:21 AM

I leave one thread and you're a God and a Demon, I come to another thread and they are worshipping you here to.

How do you do it, Citizen?

Uhhh, do you have like a uhhh....sub-God position open? I might like being worshipped.

"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." Mal

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:24 AM

He went to the God supply store and bought the "worshipper" bait spray.

I hear it smells like crotch!

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:26 AM

It's the Mug, never underestimate the powers of a random mug.

We have a position in the Lightning bolt department, random lightning strikes?

Quote:
I hear it smells like crotch!

No no, that's just me. Ran out of soap.

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
And as you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:28 AM

This a democratic state of random you must submit your application for sub god status at the main office in the box marked requests. Someone will contact you in 7seconds to 56 years as to the status of your status requests status.

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:30 AM

CoPilot, you forgot that it has to be in triplicate on goose feather paper!

sheesh

and HEY, I HIT YOU with my winkelmesser! Are you not hurt, impressed, mildly amused?

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:31 AM

TAYEATRA

I see my lowly spatula cannot compete with the masterful spork.

Oh well. I hearby sell all my shares in the spatula factory inc!

Wait... All this money... the power... the prestige... I feel almost sub-godlike!

It would appear FollowMal was right! Such a position does exist!

*****
Taya
*****
I'm going to S3!!!

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:35 AM

OOOOOH My tarantula is in love with your spatula.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:35 AM

You're winklemesser did muss my hair a bit but you're aim is off. I suggest you check your sight. Maybe bent a little to the left. Oh yes and you must triplicate your double posted triplicte or you're request will be automatically filed under sub deamon. It's unfortunate but our secretary is lets say a little "special"

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:36 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by copilot:
Opps silly me going off topic

There's a topic?

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:37 AM

I ride the special bus! can I be secretary? Can I? Can I? I mean i DID make THE LIST!

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:38 AM

I wouldn't sell your shares just yet. I've heard rumors oh a spatula spork merger.

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:39 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by FollowMal:
Uhhh, do you have like a uhhh....sub-God position open? I might like being worshipped.

I waas a prophit once, so I created a long list of silly commandments to drive my followers away. I just wish I had collected tithes first.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:45 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER

It is the rule with drunkards to fall upon one another, to fight and squabble and make tumult.
-RUMI

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:47 AM

Still have that list around?
Yes you must collect the tiths before the sermon! Anyone who's ever headed a cult knows that one! It's in the hand book. You do have the hand book don't you? It's avalible on Amazon I believe the title is How to Create a Cult for Fun and Profit.

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:50 AM

I thought you had to collect the tithes before you passed out the kool-aid?

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:52 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by citizen:

We have a position in the Lightning bolt department, random lightning strikes?
Quote:

Ahaaaa, that sounds mighty fine to me!

Better than a sub-god.

"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." Mal

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:52 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by copilot:
You do have the hand book don't you? It's avalible on Amazon I believe the title is How to Create a Cult for Fun and Profit.

The cult of Browncoat?

Gosling juggling optional.

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
And as you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:56 AM

For no reason whatsoever here are the commandments, along with their authors if it matters (Pipin was my head priest):

Perhaps I should point out that most of these are not actually commandments. Consider it pointed out.

Also, I'm not the one who recorded these.

Commandments:
1: Relax
2: Give money to me.
2: Don't listen to others
3: Don't ask why there are two number twos.
4½: Don't ask why there is a 4½ but not a 4. (or a 3½ or ...)
5: Wait, you're recording this?
(Pipin)6.2: Thou shall sleep while sleeping.
8: Wait, what happened to 7? Oh wait I have to think of something...
This is another funny number: Enjoy yourself, life sucks.
9 or 10: Live free ...or don't.
7, oh here it is: There are no gods but ours... and other peoples gods... and those other gods no one cares about.
(Yet again, Pipin)11: If you have pizza, and your neighbor doesn't point and laugh.
13, I like that number: If you sit in the chair ...
12: What do have a lightbright here?? That should be a commandment right there.
15: Keep this up we'll have a religion in a year and when you two graduate we'll have some followers, maybe two or three.
16: If I were a commandment what would I be?
((sigh) yet again Pipin.)17: Tho shall wear clothes uless naked
18: Keep on writing until we run out of ideas or paper. If we run out of paper, get more paper.
19: No, no the answer is yes!
21: When I doubt, go left.
22: if we get to 30 put in 20 after.
(Pipin and Chris)23: If you slept with more than one person, Good for you!
24: You will worship anyone you want, unless it's not me... what the hell, have fun.
25: Hang on a minute.
26: From now on "this way" is left, and "that way" is right.
27: Ok you can continue now.
28: The answer is ... let's see ... carry the pi... yes.
29: Tho shall play the M game.
30: Ye shalt not judge another by his/her/it's spelling.
(Pipin) 20: It is not how big, but how often.
(Chris, in response to 20)31: What?!
(Pipin, in response to 20)32: Wait don't write that.
33: Pi is line line squiggle.
34 (For now at least): Oh by the way, read this backwards.

Needless to say it succeeded and I am no longer at the center of a religion.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:59 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
I thought you had to collect the tithes before you passed out the kool-aid?

Wouldn't it be more profitable to raid the bodies afterward? I mean that way you know no one is holding out.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 9:59 AM

The cult de Browncoat indeed!
I believe the order of a proper worship service is Tith-Semon-Kool aid or at least that's how I conducted them. It's a personal choice but for me that produced the best results.

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 10:01 AM

By the way, now might be a good time to point out that when people ask me what I would do if I ruled the world for a day my response is very simple:
Collect Taxes.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006 10:02 AM