Birds of Prey 1 hour pilot: Dylan is not impressed, a review. by Novagrass

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Birds of Prey 1 hour pilot: Dylan is not impressed, a review.

POSTED BY: NOVAGRASS
UPDATED: Sunday, August 18, 2002 07:05
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VIEWED: 4145
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Friday, August 16, 2002 12:43 PM

Who's in the mood for a word problem?

What do you get when you combine half-baked crime drama, pretentiously hyper-stylized filmmaking, and the finest in stockpiled super hero stories? Here's a hint: It's not the latest entry on Vin Diesel's resume. I was never good at word problems, but whatever the answer, it's certainly not fun... a phrase which describes The WB Network's latest DC Comics bastardization, “Birds of Prey.”

Following in the footsteps of The WB's other classic DC superhero re-visioning, Smallville, comes the story of a Charlie's Angels-esque trio of super powered vigilante chicks out to save New Gotham City from the scum of the underworld. Taking place in the immediate future, these girls on the verge of womanhood simultaneously face the trials of being New Gotham City's greatest group of vigilante heroes and the hardships of being a woman in modern society. Can't go wrong with that concept, eh? The perfect mix of gritty urban drama and Dawson's Creek-ian angst, right? So one would think. Unfortunately, all interesting story potential is thrown out the window while we're forced to choke down cliched characters and mystery a two year old with a magnifying glass could deduct.

Speaking of clichéd characters, one can’t go far before running into a “bird of prey” comparable to another sci-fi heroine fleshed out far more artfully elsewhere. First off, there’s the super powered Cordelia Chase, named here, Helena Kyle, the bastard daughter of Selena Kyle (Catwoman) and Bruce Wayne (Batman). Naturally, the badass vigilante orphan (her mother is killed in the series’ opening sequence and she has never met her absentee father, not even knowing he existed until she was 14) would behave as though she were raised a millionaire daddy’s girl who made fun of “nerds” in High School. It seems a no-brainer, right? Here, Helena is conflicted as to why she lives as a crime fighter, an issue tackled multiple times is this one hour pilot episode, and fortunately resolved by the episode’s end, hereby relieving us of more torturous sequences in which Helena questions her calling throughout the series (there’s one thing for which I can thank the writers). So, tell us Helena, why do you do it? ‘Cause it wasn’t obvious where this story was leading us during your first whining spree.

Next up, there’s The Oracle, a.k.a. Barbara Gordon, a.k.a. the former Batgirl. Beautiful, and yet frighteningly intelligent (or so we’re told… though it did take her an awful long time to solve the hackneyed mystery of the week), Barbara is confined to a wheelchair during a confrontation with The Joker, often reminiscing about her days as the ass-kickingest girl side-kick to the Batman. *Dylan yawns.* It’s painfully clear who this actor’s main inspiration is, as she sits around attempting an impersonation of Jodie Foster the entire episode. Now, this wouldn’t be bad if she could pull off the imitation; however, this girl probably couldn’t act her way out of a well lit paper bag, which is unfortunate as her character is the only one written with any sort of depth.

Finally, there’s Dawn… err… Dinah Lance, the spunky young teen who just happens to have the ability to set aside all ideas of personal privacy and peer into the most intimate thoughts of whomever she touches. Now, Dinah’s parents (what ever happened to those folks? Are they dead?) have been raising her to ignore these abilities, favoring their daughter grow up thinking she’s a psychopath (though, it’s amazing how this psychopath grew up so well-adjusted). In an effort to escape the clutches of her tyrannical and oppressive parents (who will hereby be known as “The Man”) and seek out the validity of her powers, Dinah runs to New Gotham City. Naturally, her actions are consequence-free, and Dinah is taken in by the kindly Barbara Gordon. What depresses me most about this character is that the actress playing her actually has talent. Way to shoot yourself in the foot, Dinah. I’m sure you’ll be loving this decision in about 10 years when the only job available to you is in soft-core porn.

Now, all jokes aside, there were a few things to like about this pilot. The scene involving Barbara’s final confrontation with The Joker is genuinely unnerving, and Dr. Harleen Qunizell (Harley Quinn) looks to be a very intriguing (not to mention creepy) villain for the girls to stand up against; that is, if they ever get around the planted love interests and inevitable teeny-bopper angst. I just hope Mia Sara’s replacement will be as creepy as the Harley Quinn she played in this pilot episode.

Overall, Birds of Prey is simply not a good show, and it may never become one. Maybe once the actors find their characters, and when the writers of this episode are dragged out behind a barn and shot, it could turn out to be an interesting piece of television… but something tells me this is a farfetched idea (killing writers is just not common these days). Borrowing the words of a certain crippled ex-Batgirl, the series has potential to be “way cool.”

Yes, Babs, way cool indeed.

--Dylan Palmer, aka NoVaGrAsS--

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Saturday, August 17, 2002 5:27 AM

MILLERNATE

Just as a factual aside: Mia Sara was *not* replaced as Harley Quin. The replacement in question was of Ms. Sara replacing Sherilynn Fenn (Twin Peaks, Rude Awakening) as Harely Quinn. This would indicate that you saw the pilot that with the reshot scenes that replaced Ms. Fenn with MIa Sara. Unless of course there was another announcement in this regard that I missed (which is a distinct possiblity).

Regardless, judging by the advance reviews I'm hereing I think I'm going to be watching the upcoming Twilight Zone instead

.

Nathan
"Being popular and well liked is not in your best interest. Let me be more clear; if you behave in a manner pleasing to most, then you are probably doing something wrong." - Janeane Garofalo, from "Feel this Book"

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Saturday, August 17, 2002 7:29 AM

NOVAGRASS

I really can't tell who the actress is... I've been doing side-by-side comparisons, but I can't determine the woman who is playing Harleen (all of the IMDB pics are pretty small).

If I were to guess, I'd say this girl is Sherilyn Fenn, though it's more than possible that I'm wrong.

I was going by The Gotham Clock Tower's casting information, and they said that Mia Sara is playing HQ. Sorry for any confusion

--Dylan Palmer, aka NoVaGrAsS--

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Saturday, August 17, 2002 10:35 AM

FURYFIRE

It's made by the Smallville producers. It's gonna suck. "Nuf said.

If you know anyone that can help my screenwriting career, please help! And yes, I am self-advertising here. Hehehe, me such a little devil.

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Saturday, August 17, 2002 11:40 AM

NOVAGRASS

Quote:
Originally posted by FURYFIRE:
It's made by the Smallville producers. It's gonna suck. "Nuf said.

Well, that's an awfully narrow-minded view point. Though in this case, you may be correct.

--Dylan Palmer, aka NoVaGrAsS--

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Saturday, August 17, 2002 12:52 PM

HAKEN

Likes to mess with stuffs.

Quote:
Originally posted by FURYFIRE:
It's made by the Smallville producers. It's gonna suck. "Nuf said.

I happen to like Smallville and thinks that they did a wonderful job of telling the story of young Clark Kent in a contemporary setting.

As for the cast, Michael Rosenbaum is great as Lex Luthur. It's amazing that the only other times I've seen him act was when he played characters in drags. Tom Welling is going to be really big one day. With each episode, he just gets better and better at what he does. Definately leading man material.

And Kristin Kreuk is a shoe-in to replace Katie Holms in popularity and star power, while Allison Mack, who plays Chloe, is just damn hot in the girl-next-door-with-attitude department.

As for the "Bird of Prey", after seeing the pilot myself, I think it has potential. The series just have to make up its mind as to what it's about and the stories it's going to tell.

Right now, the BOP pilot is stuck in the comic book pages, which might be its biggest flaw. Whereas, its big brother, "Smallville", is a success because the creators played it straight and allowed the series to resonate with a kind of relevance that's seldom seen except in series like "Buffy: The Vampire Slayer".

Who knows, it might just work. I'm willing to give "Bird of Prey" a chance.

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Saturday, August 17, 2002 1:07 PM

MOJOECA

I am of the group that is underwhelmed by SUPERBOY. But I'm going to give it another chance this season now that SCRUBS has moved to thursdays.

--- Joe

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Saturday, August 17, 2002 1:26 PM

NOVAGRASS

Quote:
Originally posted by Haken:
Quote:
Originally posted by FURYFIRE:
It's made by the Smallville producers. It's gonna suck. "Nuf said.

I happen to like Smallville and thinks that they did a wonderful job of telling the story of young Clark Kent in a contemporary setting.

As for the cast, Michael Rosenbaum is great as Lex Luthur. It's amazing that the only other times I've seen him act was when he played characters in drags. Tom Welling is going to be really big one day. With each episode, he just gets better and better at what he does. Definately leading man material.

And Kristin Kreuk is a shoe-in to replace Katie Holms in popularity and star power, while Allison Mack, who plays Chloe, is just damn hot in the girl-next-door-with-attitude department.

While I'm not a fan of Smallville at all, I will admit that the casting was inspired. The actors are all talented, especially Michael Rosenbaum, and they seem to have a good grasp on their characters. However, I still see the show as a pale shadow of what it could be. Now, with Jeph Loeb on as head writer, I'm going to tune in and give it a second chance. It's an excellent concept, but Smallville has suffered from some poor writing and repetitive, meandering plotlines; my hope is that Jeph Loeb will remedy some of this issue.

--Dylan Palmer, aka NoVaGrAsS--

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Saturday, August 17, 2002 4:46 PM

FURYFIRE

Okay, Novagrass, it ain't a narrow minded pov. Look at Joss Whedon, we know Firefly will be good because we've seen his past work.

You can like Smallville, it's like Roswell or Dawson's Creek, ppl watch it for who knows what reason. Hey, I've seen every Smallville episode, so I do know what I'm talking about.

Compare Smallville to Buffy. Smallville sucks compared to Buffy, but it's good compared to Inside Schwartz or Tracker, or Special Unit 2.
It's better than a lot of today's crap, but it is too predictable, i mean, come on already! The CLark and LEx homoerotica relationship was a surprise though, but who wouldn't think they were gay if they're wearing those skin tight tights all the time?

If you know anyone that can help my screenwriting career, please help! And yes, I am self-advertising here. Hehehe, me such a little devil.

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Saturday, August 17, 2002 5:26 PM

MOJOECA

Furyfire, the homophobe we've grown to know and love. Well, not *know* exactly. Or even love, because we know you don't take to that.

Aren't you male? What's with the Kaylee avatar? Dude, she's holding a rainbow parasol! I couldn't care less, but if you think Lex/Clark is homoerotic...

And no, we can't *know* FIREFLY will be good simply because of Joss' past work. Until it starts airing, we can only presume. Based on BUFFY's track record, we could have assumed prior to season 6 that *it* would be good. We would have been wrong.

A limp-wristed toodles, to you!

--- Joe

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Saturday, August 17, 2002 5:36 PM

FURYFIRE

Your first paragraph I found hilarious, yet offensive. I don't like open expressions of gayness, I'm no phobe.

Second, Kaylee avatar? HUH? I see the Serenity avatar here, I don't know what cheap crack you've been smokin, but I see Serenity. Even if we see different stuff, ya know, Kaylee's hot. And everyone knows Clark and Lex are gay, that's why Clark had resisted such a hot girl like Chloe for so long.

Third, season six WAS GOOD, but not in your opinion, thats okay, who was it, Haken that liked Smallville? some did, i don't. different opinions thats all. Firefly is good, you can tell already or else you wouldn't be here.

Limp-wristed toodles? Does that mean your trying to grab my dick?

If you know anyone that can help my screenwriting career, please help! And yes, I am self-advertising here. Hehehe, me such a little devil.

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Saturday, August 17, 2002 5:58 PM

MOJOECA

Quote:
Third, season six WAS GOOD, but not in your opinion, thats okay

When even Joss admits that 6 went off track, it's more than just a value judgment.

--- Joe

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Sunday, August 18, 2002 5:14 AM

NOVAGRASS

Quote:
Originally posted by mojoeca:
Quote:
Third, season six WAS GOOD, but not in your opinion, thats okay

When even Joss admits that 6 went off track, it's more than just a value judgment.

--- Joe

That Doesn't mean that it was *all* bad. It just means it wasn't as good as it should have been.

--Dylan Palmer, aka NoVaGrAsS--

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Sunday, August 18, 2002 7:05 AM

FURYFIRE

Joss didn't say it was bad. He admitted that it was too dark for too long. Which is what ppl are complaining. Six is good. Sex is good.

Go SCRUBS!

Even though Birds of Prey will suck through the roof, I'll still watch it.

"Nuf said.

If you know anyone that can help my screenwriting career, please help! And yes, I am self-advertising here. Hehehe, me such a little devil.

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