Miss Sarah and the colorful Lerxisms by Archer

TALK STORY

Miss Sarah and the colorful Lerxisms

POSTED BY: ARCHER
UPDATED: Wednesday, June 25, 2003 13:59
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Friday, June 20, 2003 4:43 AM

Let's see, reviewing the events of last night, near as I can make them out...

Pretty girl asked to have my children.

'Nother pretty girl sent me a picture of her with a lovely knife. Hubba hubba.

Kicked HFK.

Maniac whacked me, so now I'm officially dead. That'll make filling out the next census form interesting.

Agreed to write a novel with Wulfhawk.

(edit) Had a fascinating discussion with the extremely knowledgeable Defender on various aspects of military history and the nature of nobility.

Got cut off by the Independents and had to resort to cannibalism. Sorry if anybody disapproved of the seasonings I used on 'em.

Don't THINK I got married.

(Sneak preview of the upcoming OMR spoof.)

Wulfhawk
"I believe you are [married]."

Archer steps over to Maniac.

Archer
"How drunk was I last night?"

Maniac
"Dunno. You were wearing the dress again when I passed out."

(end excerpt)

Har har har. I slay me.

Oh yeah, point. I had a point. OH YEAH!

Miss Sarah wanted more colorful Lerxisms. In my befuddled and sleep-deprived state, I was unable to provide them.

So far, I only have the two from the Serenity, Inc. story.
"Now I have a girl with a machinegun, ho ho ho." and "Good, bad, I'm the guy with the girl with the gun."

So I'm enlisting ya'll in the task of coming up with more movie quotes that Lerx would alter to display his affection for his lovely wife.

I know it's hard to lower yourself to the level of thinking like the proto-vertebrate Lerx, but I am honorbound to produce results for Miss Sarah.

One bit of advice... when writing the Lerx dialogue for the stories, I usually get myself into the proper frame of mind by crouching down and sticking my head in a gutter for at least half an hour, or even longer if he has multiple sentences worth of dialogue.

Don't tell my mother I'm a truckdriver. She thinks I play the piano in a whorehouse.

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Friday, June 20, 2003 7:13 AM

MAGUINAN

Well, I never! You'd better hope Lerxst defends himself, 'cause if he doesn't, I'm going to...

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Friday, June 20, 2003 8:07 AM

ARCHER

I'm sure as soon as he reads this thread (and has somebody explain the multi-syllable words to him.) several Tomahawks will be enroute to my location, along with Seal Team Eight to do the BDA.

And you didn't contribute a Lerxism, Princess. Tsk.

There ain't nothin' I can't overcome or come to know. So lay your heavy load down on me, strip everything I have away. I am not your prisoner, I am not afraid.

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Friday, June 20, 2003 8:14 AM

CHANNAIN

i DO aim to misbehave

Quote:
Originally posted by Archer:
Let's see, reviewing the events of last night, near as I can make them out...

man, sounds like I missed a damn good time!

I found the way, by the sound of your voice--so many things to say.
These are only words. Now I've only words. Once there was a choice.
David Sylvian

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Friday, June 20, 2003 8:52 AM

ARCHER

Quote:

man, sounds like I missed a damn good time!

Yep, but the damn good time missed you too. A party is never a real party when you're not in on it, ma'am.

Lerxisms, anybody? C'mon, I'm dying here.

There ain't nothin' I can't overcome or come to know. So lay your heavy load down on me, strip everything I have away. I am not your prisoner, I am not afraid.

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Friday, June 20, 2003 9:57 AM

SARAHETC

Quote:
Originally posted by Archer:

Lerxisms, anybody? C'mon, I'm dying here.

What was he saying the other night about "shwung" or "shwack" and the varying declensions thereof? Or was that even him?

Also, Lerx is enthusiastic about hot tubs and beer.

I have enough trouble trying to keep up and stay on my toes so's I know when maguinan is making fun of me.

Sarah

Who do I have to hump to get a dry martini around here?

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Friday, June 20, 2003 10:07 AM

ARCHER

Quote:
What was he saying the other night about "shwung" or "shwack" and the varying declensions thereof? Or was that even him?

More of his typical struggle with multi-syllable words.

Dammit Lerx, hurry up and get online. This dance is hard to do without your feeble attempts at ripostes.

There ain't nothin' I can't overcome or come to know. So lay your heavy load down on me, strip everything I have away. I am not your prisoner, I am not afraid.

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Friday, June 20, 2003 1:31 PM

ARCHER

So now HFK tells me he's off in hiding (vacationing was the polite term HFK used.)

So I won't get anything from him before I leave. DAMN IT!

I mean, it's not like I miss him or anything. Naaaaaaaah.

There ain't nothin' I can't overcome or come to know. So lay your heavy load down on me, strip everything I have away. I am not your prisoner, I am not afraid.

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Friday, June 20, 2003 6:55 PM

SIRENKAIN

I did note that you waited until Lerx would be out of earshot for awhile. Kinda fishy- could be we hit you with a trout to many last night.

River: The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds, given adequate vacuuming systems.
Mal: See, morbid and creep-ifying I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like.

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Friday, June 20, 2003 8:33 PM

ARCHER

Hey, I ain't scared of no little mailman.

Wait.

Postal worker?

Oh hell.

Mysteriously gone for a week, just as I'm back in town?

Been nice knowing ya'll.

There ain't nothin' I can't overcome or come to know. So lay your heavy load down on me, strip everything I have away. I am not your prisoner, I am not afraid.

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Saturday, June 21, 2003 6:27 AM

SARAHETC

If you type "Lerxst" into the Brunching Shuttlecock's Cyborg Thingy you get:

L.E.R.X.S.T.: Lifelike Electronic Replicant Experieced in Sabotage and Troubleshooting.

Probably shooting tomahawks.

http://www.brunching.com/cyborger.html

Sarah

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Wednesday, June 25, 2003 11:33 AM

LERXST

Hee hee! I typed "Larry" into the Brunching thingy and got: Lifelike Android Resposible for Repair and Yardwork -- which is closer to reality than I'd care to admit.

Hmmm. I get back into town, and Archer leaves. Coincidence? I think not.

Anyway, back to the subject, Lerxisms. I was thinking about Tash's fanfic about Sarah, and I came up with this one:

Sarah Etcetera. For when you absolutely, positively, have to kill every m-----f----- in the room.

_________________________________________________
Raspberry! Only one man would dare give me the raspberry...LONESTAR!!

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Wednesday, June 25, 2003 11:39 AM

SARAHETC

Quote:
Originally posted by Lerxst:

Sarah Etcetera. For when you absolutely, positively, have to kill every m-----f----- in the room.

That is the nicest thing! Thank you, Lerx. You are so thoughtful. We missed you a whole lot. Never leave again without taking us with you.

Sarah, et cetera.

I'm a dying breed who still believes, haunted by American dreams. ---Neko Case

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Wednesday, June 25, 2003 1:59 PM

LERXST

I figured my Warrior Woman would appreciate that one

I guess next time I take a road trip, I'll borrow Archer's truck. Or maybe invest in a laptop.

_________________________________________________
Raspberry! Only one man would dare give me the raspberry...LONESTAR!!

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