How Tough is Mal? by Succatash

TALK STORY

How Tough is Mal?

POSTED BY: SUCCATASH
UPDATED: Saturday, March 13, 2004 20:15
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 1931
PAGE 1 of 1

Friday, March 12, 2004 7:11 PM

Question: Who would win in a hand-to-hand fight / pistol duel?

1. Mal vs. Book

2. Mal vs. Jayne

3. Mal vs. Zoe

4. Mal vs. William Riker

5. Mal vs. Han Solo

6. Mal vs. Capt. Archer

7. Mal vs. Dirty Harry

8. Mal vs. Maverick (James Gardner/Mel Gibson)

9. Mal vs. Elvis Presley

10. Mal vs. Jack Bauer

Here are my thoughts:

1. Mal vs. Book
- A good fight, but I think Book would win, if Book thought he HAD to win.

2. Mal vs. Jayne
- Jayne would only win if he could get the first punch. If Mal had time to find a weapon he would beat Jayne.

3. Mal vs. Zoe
Zoe, she's a warrior woman.

4. Mal vs. William Riker
Mal would find a way to kick his ass.

5. Mal vs. Han Solo
This would be a great fight but in the end they would find out they are long lost brothers or something, and Mal would finally find love among the Wookie folk.

6. Mal vs. Capt. Archer
Mal would give Archer a big wedgie after slapping him all the way to sickbay.

7. Mal vs. Dirty Harry
Damn good fight, here. It depends. Mal is one of the best, but so is the legendary Dirty Harry in a gun fight.

8. Mal vs. Maverick (James Gardner/Mel Gibson)
I'd like to see this. Really, I would.

9. Mal vs. Elvis Presley
Mal would spank the Elvis hound dog!

10. Mal vs. Jack Bauer
Mal spanks him.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, March 13, 2004 6:42 PM

ANKHAGOGO

Quote:
Originally posted by Succatash:

Question: Who would win in a hand-to-hand fight / pistol duel?

Dude! What an excellent question! Several of these, though, I think it would depend on the reason for the duel, especially the first three.

1. Mal vs. Book
Hmmm. I'm kinda with you on the "if Book thought he had to win" train of thought. But if it turned out Book's actual identity was Alliance spy or whatever, I think it would be a draw, cause Mal would want to hurt him.

2. Mal vs. Jayne
Fistfight -- tough call. Jayne could take more pummeling than Mal could, I think, just cause he's bigger. I'd pay to see it, though.

Pistols? I'd say Mal. I think he's faster than Jayne.

3. Mal vs. Zoe
Actually, I think this would come out a draw, either way. They know each other too well, and know each other's moves. They would beat each other into the ground and then lay on the ground slap-fighting each other til Kaylee pulled em apart.

4. Mal vs. William Riker
I have nothing against Riker, but Mal would wipe the floor with Riker like he was a wet mop.

5. Mal vs. Han Solo
Mmmmmm.......Mal and Han Solo......er, sorry.
I just don't know why they'd be fighting. They could compare notes on smuggling, barfights, fighting for the underdog side in a war..I think they'd just get drunk in some seedy bar and start a fight with some other guys.

6. Mal vs. Capt. Archer
(see response for #4, but without the "I have nothing against.." part)

7. Mal vs. Dirty Harry
How did Dirty Harry get in space? He'd be seriously old by then -- it'd kinda be unfair for Mal to wallop on him.

8. Mal vs. Maverick (James Gardner/Mel Gibson)
I think either Maverick would weasel his way out of the fight. Mal would get tired of the weaseling and shoot him in the foot or suckerpunch him in the face just to get it over with.

9. Mal vs. Elvis Presley
Shoot, Mal, no problem.

10. Mal vs. Jack Bauer
I don't know who this is -- I am sad, because I'm sure I should.

But anyone screwing with Serenity or Kaylee would do best to run for the hills, cause Mal with a reason to be mad is one fierce man.

"Jayne is a girl's name."

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, March 13, 2004 7:02 PM

SAINT JAYNE

1. Mal vs. Book
Book goes down faster than a 2$ whore (Serenity, Safe, OiS), plus he doesn't kill. Mal totaly has the edge.

2. Mal vs. Jayne
That'll be an interesting day.

3. Mal vs. Zoe
Mal: "I gotta shoot you dead now"
Zoe: "Yessir, should I sit or stand?"

4. Mal vs. William Riker
Riker would put up a fight. Not much of one, though.

5. Mal vs. Han Solo
Homo-erotic daydreams aside, I'll have to go with Mal. But this fight would never be to the death.

6. Mal vs. Capt. Archer
Despite superior technology and repeated warnings from the future, Mal wins before the "round 1" girl gets out of the ring.

7. Mal vs. Dirty Harry
If I can't say anything good about Mal, I'm not saying anything at all.

8. Mal vs. Maverick (James Gardner/Mel Gibson)
(see 7)

9. Mal vs. Elvis Presley
Elvis would be all shook up.

10. Mal vs. Jack Bauer
Finally, Jack would rest in peace, poor tormented soul.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, March 13, 2004 7:26 PM

SUCCATASH

Quote:
Originally posted by Saint Jayne:
Book goes down faster than a 2$ whore (Serenity, Safe, OiS), plus he doesn't kill.

How can you compare Book's fighting skills to a two dollar whore? In War Stories, he's amazing. He's proven time after time to be amazingly tough and resourceful. Book is like God in Space.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, March 13, 2004 7:28 PM

JAHZARA

Jack Bauer's that guy off 24. He's played by Keifer Sutherland.
Since I don't watch 24 (beside a little of the first season), I have no opinion.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, March 13, 2004 8:15 PM

SAINT JAYNE

Quote:
Originally posted by Succatash:
How can you compare Book's fighting skills to a two dollar whore?

I wasn't. I was comparing his ability to lie down on his back and take it to a 2$ whore.

His best fighting was in War Stories, where he racked up zero kills. Slightly less impressive were his fights in Serenity (immediate KO), Safe (immediate KO), and Objects in Space (immediate KO). You must admit that's a string of bad luck, and even with the upper hand, he still won't kill you.

I'm not trying to belittle Book's fighting ability, but a god in space?

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

YOUR OPTIONS

SHARE THREAD

NEW POSTS TODAY

USER	POST DATE

USER

POST DATE