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Prepare for the Zombies!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011 12:54 PM
WHOZIT
Wednesday, May 18, 2011 1:24 PM
PIRATENEWS
John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!
Quote:The post, written by Assistant Surgeon General Ali Khan, instructs readers how to prepare for "flesh-eating zombies" much like how they appeared in Hollywood hits like "Night of the Living Dead" and video games like Resident Evil. Perhaps surprisingly, the same steps you'd take in preparation for an onslaught of ravenous monsters are similar to those suggested in advance of a hurricane or pandemic. "First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house," the posting continues. "This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp (or in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored)." Other items to be stashed in such a kit include medications, duct tape, a battery-powered radio, clothes, copies of important documents and first aid supplies. "Once you've made your emergency kit, you should sit down with your family and come up with an emergency plan," the posting continues. "This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your doorstep. You can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake or other emergency."
Wednesday, May 18, 2011 3:44 PM
KWICKO
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)
Thursday, May 19, 2011 3:38 AM
KIRKULES
Thursday, May 19, 2011 6:37 AM
DREAMTROVE
Thursday, May 19, 2011 6:43 AM
HARDWARE
Quote:Originally posted by Kwicko: Your best weapon for a zombie apocalypse is a machete. It never runs out of ammo, never needs to be reloaded, never needs to be cleaned. It just works. Machete: Ask for it by name!
Thursday, May 19, 2011 10:29 AM
Thursday, May 19, 2011 10:33 AM
Quote:Originally posted by Hardware: Quote:Originally posted by Kwicko: Your best weapon for a zombie apocalypse is a machete. It never runs out of ammo, never needs to be reloaded, never needs to be cleaned. It just works. Machete: Ask for it by name! For quiet weaponry I actually like the crowbar. Plenty of mass to bust a skull and hundreds of utility uses. Or one of these: Dead On tools Annihilator. Hammer, pry bar and spike point all in one. The gap can be used to pry boards or reluctant door handles. The prying flat opposite the hammer head can be used to send a zombie on to its final reward or salvage nails to reinforce a barricade. Hundreds of post-apocalyptic uses! The more I get to know people the more I like my dogs. ...and he that has no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one. Luke 22:36
Thursday, May 19, 2011 1:24 PM
Thursday, May 19, 2011 1:36 PM
Thursday, May 19, 2011 3:00 PM
Thursday, May 19, 2011 5:34 PM
Quote:Originally posted by whozit: Quote:Originally posted by Hardware: Quote:Originally posted by Kwicko: Your best weapon for a zombie apocalypse is a machete. It never runs out of ammo, never needs to be reloaded, never needs to be cleaned. It just works. Machete: Ask for it by name! For quiet weaponry I actually like the crowbar. Plenty of mass to bust a skull and hundreds of utility uses. Or one of these: Dead On tools Annihilator. Hammer, pry bar and spike point all in one. The gap can be used to pry boards or reluctant door handles. The prying flat opposite the hammer head can be used to send a zombie on to its final reward or salvage nails to reinforce a barricade. Hundreds of post-apocalyptic uses! The more I get to know people the more I like my dogs. ...and he that has no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one. Luke 22:36 Can it open beer bottles? During the apocalypse I plan to get totally ripped!
Thursday, May 19, 2011 7:12 PM
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