My apologies for not getting this chapter done sooner. My muse found himself (yes, I know that they are female, but for me, it’s a male, just accept it and move on) working on other projects. Please comment, the good, not so good and the awful when you finish reading. It’s especially helpful in the writing process. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: all things Firefly/Serenity are the property of Whedon et al. I’m only playing with his toys for a spell.

Spoilers: the show and the BDM

Rating: Teen and up

The building was unassuming in its simplicity from the outside. The only writing was in Mandarin and said relaxation, the apparent code word in New Athens for whorehouse.

Pushing through the doors, the crew of Tylon’s Pride were immediately bombarded by the smell of opium and other drugs. Captain Tylon’s face warped into a wicked grin. “Jeanine!” he bellowed. “Get yer ass down here.” He chewed his cigar and looked to Jayne. “You’ll like her. She’s a good’un for vigrins.”

The other four men laughed, the joke not seeming to ever end. Being the newest crewman, Jayne had little option than to take the ribbing.

“Well, speak o’ the devil.” He removed his cigar and planted a dirty kiss on the woman’s lips. She responded in kind. “Got someone here for ya.” Tylon nodded towards Jayne. “Needs his cherry popped.”

Jeanine eyed the young man. “Virgin, huh?” She grinned as Jayne reddened at the continued laughter. “Don’t mind these boys.” She waved a hand at them. “Wasn’t that long past when they were comin’ in for their firsts.” She turned to Tylon. “Same as usual?”

He nodded.

“Well, then...what’s your name?”

Jayne looked sheepishly at the crew and Captain. If being a virgin had been difficult to live with, his girly name had been nearly impossible.

“Jayne,” Bodine answered with a lyrical sneer.

“All right then, Jayne,” she grasped his hand, “why don’t you come on upstairs with me.”

Unable to say no, Jayne went with the woman amidst the catcalls and hoots of his crewmates. He was eternally grateful when they climbed the stairs and went down the hall to where he couldn’t see nor hear them any longer.

Stepping into the smallish room, Jeanine closed and locked the door. “There, that’s better.” She faced Jayne and smiled. “You are a big one. How old are ya?”

He hesitated. Were there some kind of rules in these parts about whores being able to only have sex with adults? He had learned rapidly in the last eight months that each place seemed to have its own way. Chester Lin had learned that the hard way and had his hand cut clean off after taking something he weren’t supposed to.

“Oh, it doesn’t matter, I suppose.” She began to unbutton her blouse. “Just so long as the only thing girly about you is your name, we’ll do just fine.” She smiled at him and strode over. “And don’t be nervous. I’ve been dealing with boys like you a very long time. There’s nothing you can say or do that I’ve not heard before. So just relax and let nature work as intended between a man and a woman.”

Jayne looked down at the small woman with a glimmer of respect. She’d called him a man.

Later... The Training House was everything Kaylee expected it to be, only better. People walked with elegance and grace in amongst the open halls and rooms. The light spring wind rippled through silk curtains, sometimes catching the light and reflecting it inward. The sound of water trickling down stone was a constant and the mechanic found the sound soothing. The wide wooden floors were dark and exotic feeling. She felt like a little girl staring wide eyed at it all.

“You left all this, Inara?”

The older woman smiled. “In a way.” She strode down the hall next to Kaylee, feeling her own sense of wonder again. No matter how she tried to re-create the feeling, her shuttle could not capture the emotion of the House. “Sheydra.”

A blond woman, older than Inara, greeted the pair and kissed Inara’s cheeks. “Mei-mei. You look well.” She smiled genuinely then turned to Kaylee. “Welcome.”

“Hi!” Kaylee gripped the proffered hand with a strong shake. “Beautiful place here.”

Sheydra muffled a chuckle. Rim worlders. “Thank-you.” She faced Inara again. “Your room is ready for you, just as you left it.”

“Thank-you.” The three women walked through the main level of the House and then to the upper level where private rooms were located. Kaylee gawked like a tourist the whole time.

“Oh, Inara!” she gasped as the door to her room was opened. “All this yours?”

“Much of it. What I could bring with me from Sihnon.” She entered the room and inhaled the sandalwood incense. “You performed the cleansing ritual.”

“Of course,” Sheydra responded following her friend in. “After what that man did, the entire House required it.”

“I do apologise for that,” Inara began.

“No need. It is over and no one was harmed.” Sheydra gave the Companion smile. “We are just glad that you’ve returned. Everyone has been excited since your wave.”

“Yes, I can imagine,” Inara muttered with her back to Sheydra. She had inspected the room and now stood at the large bay window overlooking the mountainside. This place was so much like Sihnon that her heart ached a little. In her travels in the black, she hadn’t missed home, but here, now, she felt the twinge. “Everyone is well?”

Sheydra nodded. “Very much. The students are nearly ready to begin level three.”

Inara allowed her face to show surprise. “Three? That’s quite an accomplishment is such a short time.”

“Indeed. I’ll have one of the helpers bring your things in, Miss Frye.”

“Huh?” She jumped at hearing her voice. “Oh, no, that’s okay. I can get ‘em myself. Ain’t much anyway.”

Sheydra smiled again, but said nothing. She moved to her friend. “Tzoo foo nee, mei-mei."

“And you,” Inara responded.

With barely a sound, the door was closed and the two women were alone. Inara looked to Kaylee who was staring at her.

“Ya didn’t tell her,” the mechanic stated.

The Companion thought a moment. “I will.”

Kaylee wondered on that, but didn’t say anything. This were Inara’s business and people; she’d know how t’deal with them. “In that case...” She eyed the bowl of fresh fruits tempting her on the large coffee table.

Inara laughed lightly. “Go ahead.”

The younger woman nearly pounced on the food, though mildly disappointed in the lack of strawberries.

Before... Boredom was not something Jayne took well to. He preferred motion, action, just doing. He needed to be up and walking or lifting weights or gorram near anything other than just lying in the sagging bed with little to do.

‘Course, he could have done without the intrusions of the new pilot into his temporary domain. River had a habit of wandering in late at night and just staring at him. Most of the time, Jayne was unable to sleep the entire night and the first time he caught her glowing eyes in his room, he almost undid the Doctor’s re-stitching. No amount of cajoling would remove her from the room, so he bit his tongue, shut his eyes and pretended to sleep.

River had only laughed lightly. “Fake sleep isn’t the same. No warm dreams of machines.”

“Get outta my head, girl,” he growled in a hushed whisper.

“But it’s so quiet in there. Peaceful and relaxing.” She stood at the head of the bed. “Wish I were like you.” She held the moment then left without a sound.

Jayne sighed through his nose. Crazy. Girl was just plain crazy.

Now, here it were again, only worse this time. His usual chittering companion had apparently abandoned him for something more important. Most like the yu bun duh Doc, he thought bitterly. That left him alone, except for the occasional passing of Crazy. Everyone else had pretty much abandoned him, too.

Jayne slumped a bit into the pillows he had propped himself up on. All this free time had started his mind workin’ an’ he was near on sure he didn’t like the course it was takin’.

He thought on his early time on Serenity, wondering if Mal was a younger version of himself, ready to shoot anyone who so much as breathed wrong. He chuckled; that notion was wiped after seeing him deal with Wash. Any man who wore such ugly clothing and still kept his job on ship told Jayne plenty about the character of Mal.

He had learned much about the others, as well, mostly boiling down to a deep level of comradery that crossed the line to family on many occasions. Even with Simon and River, he’d come to rely on that family and they on him. Having it torn apart had gut wrenched Jayne, if he’d taken the time to think on it previously. All the time now, though, he realised just how much he missed the lost folk.

He shut his eyes, both to block the horrible memory of Shepherd Book’s bloody body and to stifle the small shooting pain that still came into his head from time to time. With a ragged breath in and out, the pain lessened to something close to tolerable.

Unfortunately, it allowed him to follow his thinking to the always same question: what could he contribute to the family now?

Later... “Just believe!”

Mal’s eyes snapped open from the dream, Book’s words echoing through his head with complete clarity. He could feel the Preacher’s dying grip on the back of his head as the man’s eyes rolled back and he stopped.

Throwing back the sheet, Mal leaned over the side of his bunk, his head firm in his hands and scratching at his hair. Dreaming about a dead man made no sense to the Captain. The dead are gone and let them be gone, he always thought. Don’t be bringin’ on ghosts that’ll only give ya harm.

He rose to the sink and splashed water over his face. Grabbing the towel, he took a long look at himself there in the mirror. His skin was sallow, his eyes sunken and dark lines underneath that at one time went away after a good night’s rest had now taken up permanent residence. He looked like hell.

Guess I’m not too pretty anymore, eh God? Figure on calling me up soon? That explain the mug in the mirror? He would have laughed if it had been funny.

Turning, he tossed the towel into the sink and sat with a heaviness in the small chair at his desk. His hand passed over the long repeated capture of Inara’s first leaving to shuffling some papers. Need t’get some captainy paper work done, he reckoned, ‘fore the boat gets hauled in for yet another infraction. His hand hovered over a newly exposed book, fearful of touching it.

“Just a book,” he said softly. Reaching for it, he picked up the Bible left to him by the Shepherd and read the enclosed note once more. Finishing, he careful refolded the paper and slipped it back into the Bible. Book had been right about him carrying too much of the burden himself. He needed to share the load to make himself stronger. To make the family stronger.

Without realising what he was doing, Mal had cleared a spot on the desk for the book. He may have lost faith in God, but he had found some in the Shepherd and that warranted special consideration.

Later... When the door slide open, the merc looked anxiously, hoping to see Kaylee’s shining face. He was rewarded with Zoe’s instead. He fell back against the uprighted pillows.

Zoe didn’t miss the disappointment as she stepped in with lunch on a tray. The first mate wasn’t sure when it was decided, but somehow, she had been appointed the waitress for the patient. Three times a day, she brought in a variety of liquid meals to help bolster Jayne’s strength. The effect was a grumbling mercenary who desperately wanted solid food. No luck on this day.

She placed the tray on the side stand and lifted the bowl of liquified protein mixed with powdered milk. Without comment, she handed Jayne the bowl which he placed on his lap then the spoon. She stepped back and watched him lift the food to his mouth. The first few times had resulted in much of it slopping down his shirt. His lack of visual depth had caused some mis-alignments in getting from the bowl to his mouth. Of late, he had been improving. Zoe remained in case he needed help.

“Ta ma de,” he commented, “this shit’s awful.” He struggled to swallow then eyed Zoe. “You make this?”

She lifted a brow. She knew she wasn’t a cook, but did everyone think her food was terrible? “I’ll gladly take it away, if that’s what you’d prefer.” She moved for the food.

Jayne pulled it closer to him. “Man still needs t’eat,” he grumbled. He knew his body was changing for the worse, beyond the beating he took. It was getting soft, sitting here with nothing to do and a soft merc was more than useless. Knew he’d have to talk t’Mal about it, even though he gave him the shivers. Leavin’ this boat wasn’t anythin’ he was itchin’ t’do anytime soon. Done it once an’ that was enough.

“You nearly done there, Jayne?” Zoe inquired.

He grunted and handed her the empty bowl. She placed it back on the tray and made to leave, but stopped. She knew Jayne wasn’t a word a minute kind of guy, but she’d noticed his mood seemed quieter than normal. “Captain says we’ll be on Newhall by dinner. Perhaps Simon will let you out.”

He grunted again.

“You’d rather spend all your time in here?”

Jayne would have shrugged more strongly, but his shoulders were still sore. His whole body was sore and stiff. He needed to move, to get up and lift weights, or use the hand pulls or clean his girls or just about any gorram thing than just sittin’. He felt ready t’burst. “Love t’get out, to be sure, but that ain’t likely. ‘Sides, how can I know y’all won’t leave me behind?”

Even with one eye, Jayne clearly saw the first mate change her stance. He’d said the wrong thing.

“That’s what you believe?” A slow anger was forming in Zoe’s heart. This stupid, gorram hwoon dun really believed Mal would abandon him, after all the trouble they took to rescue him? He really was dumb. “There’s no way that’s going to happen.”

“Seems like th’right thing t’do.” He absently scratched his chest. The weaves were gone, but the new skin was still itchin’ somethin’ fierce. “Ain’t got much use fer me on th’boat no more.” He jutted his chin to the tray. “‘Cept eatin’ food others got more right t’than me. Broken merc ain’t exactly-” He stared hard at his legs covered by the blanket. What weren’t broken mercs?

“Don’t even think about it.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t even think about destroying what’s left of this crew.” She swallowed hard, feeling emotions rising that she believed had been buried, not unlike her husband. “We don’t leave men behind. And this self-pity crap is just that - go se! So if you don’t get your head screwed on straight, then I’ll do it for you.” The first mate’s fists were clenched and hurting.

“Then where’s Kaylee?” Jayne may not have been running at full throttle, but he wasn’t about to back down in front of Zoe. If anything, her rise had triggered something in his own self, some sort of fight he thought had been beat outta him. “She ain’t seen me fer near on two days an’ I been missin’ her.” He stopped. Good God! What had he just said? He smacked his hand to his head and winced at the electric shock flashing over his eyes.

He breathed, opened his eye and found Zoe standing with hands on her hips. “She didn’t tell you?” Jayne had spent the last two days wondering with no one to tell him what everyone assumed he’d been told. Her anger was being replaced with understanding.

Jayne was lonely.

Simon sat hunched over the screen, but couldn’t see the words. His mind drifted, as it had for so much of the last few days, to nights with Kaylee, to days with Kaylee, to engine rooms with Kaylee. To Kaylee.

His mind understood her decision and agreed with it. River was his first priority and would always be placed ahead of everyone else, himself included.

His heart, however, was screaming at him for being a fool. Kaylee deserved to be first in any man’s life. Her passion would dim if not appreciated and encouraged. Had he paid attention to his heart, he would have seen her glow less bright long before she said it was over. But he was gifted and gifted people rarely did the smart thing.

Sighing and shutting off the screen, Simon arched his back into a stretch and pushed himself off the stool. He scanned the med lab and found everything to be in absolute order. If his heart was in chaos at least his environment would be ordered.

“Doc? Got a minute?”

Simon looked over to see Mal standing just outside the doorway, holding his left arm. “What happened?” He immediately went to the Captain and began an examination, guiding him to the bed.

“Little on the embarrassin’ side, Doc.” Mal sat on the bed, legs hanging down.

“I’m your doctor, Captain. I need to know what caused your injury to know how to properly treat it.” He moved Mal’s arm and was rewarded with a small yelp.

“Easy on, Doc. Come for fixin’ not hurtin.”

Simon eyed Mal. “You strained your muscles.”

“That I know.” He followed Simon’s back as the Doctor went to a drawer for a shot. “I was hopin’ you’d give me somethin’ for the pain and a little extra for the extra pain ya just caused.”

With a turn, Simon glared. “All you had to say was that you pulled a muscle.” He loaded the smoother with the drug and set it against Mal’s bare arm. “And how did you strain it?”

“Don’t matter mu- Ow! Hey!” He wanted to pull away, but Simon held tight. “Don’t your Hippowhatshisname Oath got somethin’ t’say about harm?”

“Sorry, Captain, must have missed the vein. Hold still.”

A minute later, Mal was rubbing his arm and feeling little pain. Simon was putting his instruments away. “Lay off your arm for a couple of days. I don’t think there’s any permanent damage. Of course, you still haven’t told me how you did this to yourself.” He faced Mal and leaned against the counter, arms crossed. “As your doctor, I’m not allowed to reveal anything medically about you to anyone else. Part of my Hippowhatshisname Oath.”

Mal waited a beat, eyeing up the good Doctor. He figured Simon was good for his word. “Liftin’ weights,” he finally answered. “Over extended my arm.”

“Ah, mystery solved. Thank-you, Captain.”

Mal moved to leave when Simon called again. “Um, I was wondering...that is to say...” He ran fingers threw his hair, stumbling for words. “Has there been any word?”

The Captain straightened. “Inara’ll wave when she’s ready.”

Simon took a step forward. “Yes, I’m sure, but I was referring to-”

“Kaylee, too,” Mal finished with a smile. “Don’t worry, son, you’re girlfriend’ll be callin’ soon enough.”

Simon worked his mouth open then closed then open. “Right.” He stared blankly into the space between the Captain and himself, eyes slightly down. “It’s just...” He looked to Mal as the Captain stopped his exit. “Never mind.”

Mal watched the younger man a moment then continued on his way. If the Doc had somethin’ t’say, he’d say it. Never stopped himself before.

Stepping into the lounge outside the infirmary, he found Zoe coming from Jayne’s temporary bunk, tray in hand. He nodded her way and was about to continue when her “Sir” caused him to halt. “Problem?”

“Maybe, maybe not.” She eye motioned towards Simon, now cleaning the bed Mal had just occupied. Mal caught the hint and the pair moved towards the stairs. “About Jayne,” she began. “Think you might need to speak with him, Mal.”

He thought he heard the vaguest tone of an order in his first mate’s voice, but let it go. “‘Bout what?”

“His role on the ship.” She had decided to ignore the missing Kaylee comment Jayne had blurted, deciding that the merc’s career status was more important at the moment.

Mal’s eyebrows went up. “What role?”

“Exactly.” She shifted her hold of the tray. “He might be in need of some reassurances that he has one.”

The Captain lightly shook his head, not clear in his understanding. “Fine, I’ll talk t’him after we set down.” He walked up the stairs back into the cargo hold, feeling a headache coming on. His first mate was giving him orders, the Doctor was acting weird about his girlfriend and Inara and his mechanic had jumped ship. Seemed the only one makin’ sense t’him these days was li’l Albatross and that scared him plenty.

He joined River in the cockpit moments later, his arm now completely blocked of any pain. “How we doin’, darlin’?” He stared out into the starry black. At least that still made sense.

“I don’t know. How are we doing?” She looked up from the co-pilot’s seat, her face expressionless.

“Now don’t you start in on me, too.” Mal slumped into the pilot’s chair. “My day’s been entirely too not normal. Don’t need you addin t’it.” He flipped a couple of switches and checked the wave log.

River smiled. Not only was the Captain cute when demanding and worried, but when he was in love. “I miss them, too. No one to play jacks with.”

Mal huffed. “Don’t miss ‘em. Just checkin’, is all.” He continued to analyse the wave log. Given the distance from the Training House, sun spots and radiation...

“They haven’t called,” River said with a little force in her voice. “I would tell you if they did.”

The Captain jerked his hand back as if slapped for grabbing a cookie fresh from the oven. “Okay. Didn’t mean no harm.” He looked across to the slight girl and let himself sink into the seat. Havin’ a reader made foolin’ yerself a might difficult. She always saw through it an’ managed to find some way a tellin’ ya, even if ya didn’t want t’hear it.

Truth was, he missed Inara somethin’ more than fierce. He’d finally gotten used t’her bein’ around again then she uprooted all over. And took his mechanic with her.

He once again swallowed the bitterness of that agreement. He still couldn’t fathom why the girl had decided that only the Training House was a good enough place t’learn self-defence an’ not from him or Zoe or even River. Especially River given that the two were like sisters. Mayhap Simon had somethin’ t’do with that; didn’t much like his sister doin’ jobs an’ such for her share so maybe he figured teachin’ his girl how to fight ala Academy trainin’ was little spookifyin’.

No answers were forthcomin’ anytime soon, so Mal contented himself with watchin’ the sky, wonderin’ if the green speck way out was Newhall or a piece a jewellery Inara so liked t’wear. He blinked. Doc’s dopin’ seemed t’have messed up his mind a bit.

“Simon’s a good doctor. He doesn’t make mistakes.” River cocked her head in her way. “Listen to what your eyes are saying.”

The Captain took a deep breath. “Since when did people on this boat start figurin’ they could give orders t’me?”

River giggled. “Since you started needing a kick in the ass to make your head work.”

Later... Newhall was a good planet. It was a border one, but had enough Core in it to be a good blend of both. The seasons were distinct and allowed for good crops and harvests. People regularly received shipments from Persephone and exported out to the rim. Life was good on Newhall if you were willing to work just a little bit.

Te Junction was a prosperous trading city boasting the best hospital on the planet. It wasn’t coincidence that Mal had River land the ship at the docks of that particular city. He wanted to give Simon an opportunity to get Jayne into the hospital and do some work on the man. Even with his limited contact with Jayne over the last couple of weeks, he knew that something was going on with the big man’s head. He seemed just a little too forgetful and searching for words that should have come easily. Answers might be had from the hospital.

And Mal wanted to get Jayne back to full form before he dropped him back at his mother’s farm on Harvest. He felt responsible for Jayne’s injuries and would not have felt right at all presenting the woman with a damaged son.

“Alright, so we’re all clear then?” Mal asked to his small complement of a crew.

“Yes, Sir,” Zoe responded.

Simon handed her his cortex reader. “You should be able to download the information onto this.” He had asked her earlier to gather the latest medical journals to allow him to do further searches on ways to help River. They would also help him keep abreast of latest medical developments.

The first mate pocketed the reader into her coveralls.

“All my reading about Te Junction’s hospital is that it is far less security controlled than the one on Ariel. You shouldn’t have any trouble getting Jayne in to see a doctor and getting the proper treatment.” He smiled to Zoe. “Thank-you for doing this.”

Jayne shifted on the crutch and leaned a little more on Zoe. “Can we get a move on? My gorram shoulder’s about to bust.”

“Okay then.” Mal punched the airlock and ramp to open. “Be mindful of Zoe, Jayne. And don’t go doin’ anythin’ stupid.”

Jayne’s face paled upon remembering the last time a hospital and Jayne had been together. He grimaced as Zoe’s movement caused strain on his tender shoulder and the crutch underneath it. They walked slowly down and out into the docks, hailing the first rickshaw they found.

Both men watched the pair disappear into the crowd then continue to stare as the night took full hold.

“I’m sure everything will be fine, Captain,” Simon started. “As long as no one recognises Jayne’s face.” He half-chuckled. He wondered if Jayne’s own mother could have recognised her son. Kaylee’s shave was lost in the beard now growing on the man and the red scar poking from out of the top and bottom of the still bandaged eye made the man look decidedly non-Jayne like. “You know I would have gone myself.”

“I surely do,” Mal said then turned to close the ramp and hatch. He strode confidently to the stairs and then on back into the crew quarters.

Simon sighed, wondering how long the adventure would take and what he could do in the mean time.

“You want to be there, don’t you?” River called from the doorway to the lounge and infirmary.

“Yes.” Simon went to her. “To see a real hospital again.” He sighed deeply. “But it’s just too dangerous. Even here, our pictures are likely posted.”

“Doesn’t make you less of a doctor, you know.”

He grabbed her hand and patted it. “You don’t have to comfort me. I’m a big boy now.”

She placed her hand overtop. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, mei mei. If you want to give me words to cheer me up, you can.” He smiled at her.

River shook her head. “No, for being the reason.”

Simon’s forehead creased. “Reason for not letting us go into the city? That’s not your fault either and don’t ever think it is. That’s the Alliance’s.”

She continued to shake her head. “No, no. For Kaylee.”

“Oh. The reason for Kaylee...Kaylee...leaving.” He rubbed his temple. “It’s not your fault for that either. It’s mine.”

Tears formed in River’s eyes. “No, it is. You’re sad now, always sad.”

“Not always.” He put his arm around her shoulder as she began to cry into it. “It just wasn’t meant to be.” They walked to the lounge and sat on the couch, him stroking her hair and she still letting the tears fall.

“I can hear you, at night. You wish things were different.”

He pushed her upright. “Of course I do. I wish that I could do more to help you. I wish that our parents had listened to me and took you out of the Academy.” He paused. “I wish we could go to the Ryerson’s Summer Party.”

“And for me to be normal.”

“Yes,” he finally said in a quiet voice, “for you to be your normal, bratty, little sister self.” He smiled over at her and she returned the smile then wiped her eyes and stood. “Need to check the wave log or the Captain will be even crankier.”

Simon watched his sister bound up the steps. With little else to do other than wait, he hefted his feet onto the end of the couch, positioned a cushion and closed his eyes. For once, he allowed himself to slow down and just be.

To be continued...