Disclaimer: all things Firefly/Serenity are the property of Whedon et al. I’m not making any money off this, just playing with the toys.

Simon sat on his bed, blankly staring at the floor in front of him. He rested his back against the wall with his legs stretched out and recalled himself sitting in a very similar fashion the night before. His time with Kaylee had been wondrous, but also heartbreaking as she stood staring at his face with a look he couldn’t describe as anything other than disappointment. Whether it was more in her or in him, he was unable to say.

His brow creased; the sex had been so good. Maybe that’s all it was.

He drew a refined finger across his dry lips, memories coming alive of Kaylee doing the very same with her own digits. He released a slow breath. She was the best lover he ever had. She knew the right moves, the right sounds and the right motions to make him feel alive. He felt his toes tingle and his breath catch when she kissed him in that special way. His brain became electric as she pulsed around him. He savoured her touch, how she played across his skin and made him feel as though he was the only man in the ‘verse.

Sometimes he wondered if they would be in their situation if Miranda hadn’t happened. Emotions had been at their height during that battle. Simon had been terrified at the prospect of losing his sister to those monsters even more than he had over losing his own life. He heard Kaylee’s prayer, hopeful that she had lived her life the right way and her death would mean something. It had pushed him to say his words to her. It was sex that had given her the courage to fight.

It was love that had given Simon the courage to not give up.

Simon drew his head back to rest against the wall.

Why him?

There were any number of men that would drop at Kaylee’s feet if she gave the word. He knew that she had many lovers before him, all Rim and Border types. He understood that he was different from those experiences; that he was something shiny to be gazed upon and revered simply because he was from the Core. He wasn’t Rim. That was enough for Kaylee to cast her eye at him.

The problem was that that simply didn’t make for a lasting relationship. And Simon wasn’t convinced that was what she wanted. He was a challenge for her, someone who didn’t fall easily under her sexual sway. She had to work to get him to see her as more than a mechanic, as a woman willing to give herself to him. Ideas of sexual morality he was raised to believe in were in contradiction to this woman. Another element destabilising his world.

They were different. She was content to go with the ebb and flow of life. Serenity was her family and that was more than enough.

Simon needed stability. He craved a strong foundation. Change came only upon careful deliberation. Attempts at rescuing River demonstrated to him what was important, but now he had her. She was improving, in no small part to them being on Serenity. The ship was her foundation even if it wasn’t his.

He sighed at the realisation. He had to find his stability again and somewhere inside him, he knew that Kaylee could not do that for him.

He shut his eyes, dreading what he had to do. There was no further point in trying to delude himself or anyone else; it wasn’t right. She was not going to be happy and that was not likely to please the Captain. And an unhappy Mal seemed to result in Simon receiving a fist to his face.

Taking a very deep breath, Simon slid off the bed and stepped into the hall. Before he had gone more than a few strides, he found Kaylee blocking his path.

“Oh.”

“Hi.”

Simon grinned shyly and willed himself to do what needed doing. “Kaylee, there’s something I’ve been meaning-”

“Simon?” she interrupted. “We got t’talk.” She pressed the inside of her lips tightly between her teeth. “About us.”

He froze, holding her eyes with his own and understanding immediately what she intended to say.

A/N: a few of you wanted a sequel to help clarify the ending of the first part. Hope this helped (even if it may not be quite what you wanted), keeping also in mind that thougths tend to wander without directions more than sometimes. Interested in more?