Author's Note: This was a fic Riverismygoddess and I talked about, we decided to each take a few basic story elements and do with it what we like. See how different they end up. This is my version.

From Bad to Worse: by RiverIsMyGoddess

~

“Are you sure you really want to go back Sir?” Zoe didn't often question Mal and it took him a moment to recover.

“There's no need to talk about it anymore. I've been avoiding it since before the war but we're too hard up to pass up this job. It's legal and should go smooth.” He walked up the stairs onto the bridge and smacked Wash on the back in an over zealous attempt to be optimistic. “Set course for Shadow.”

“Smooth.” Zoe's doubtful voice sounded in his mind like an omen.

~

Mal was standing outside a tall run down wooden barn. He ran his hand slowly along one of the large doors, it's bottom hinge had rotted out and the door didn't move easily. It was already ajar and so instead of trying to move it he slipped right inside. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dim barn interior after the bright afternoon sun, but it wasn't too long before he could make out the familiar setting. He stepped in further surveying the dilapidated condition surrounding him.

He once again began to run his hand across the half rotted wood.

“Thought you might make your way down here.” He turned around quickly from the stable he'd been looking at and didn't see anything, for a moment he questioned actually hearing the voice. Being in a place like this could scare up more then a few memories. Then through the long shafts of particle filled light bursting through the cracks in the wood he saw the silhouette of the reason he'd been avoiding Shadow.

“It is home,” he said perhaps too brightly in an attempt to sound nonchalant.

“I want you off this rock, Reynolds.” The voice was confident, like it was used to getting what it asked for.

“Claire, how you been?”

“Get off this rock now Reynolds, you have no business coming back.” A slender women wearing a worn brown cowboy hat turned from the wall she'd been leaning against and walked up to Mal. She had to look upward to stare him in the eye but it didn't seem to cow her one mite. “Go before you bring trouble.”

“My business here is honest, you can't kick me off a planet just 'cus you still have a hankering for me.” As hard as Mal tried he couldn't keep a hint of bitterness out of his voice.

“Not quite how I remember it.” With this Claire sidestepped Mal and walked out, leaving him standing alone with more than a few mixed emotions.

~

“He's been sitting there for over an hour! Should we say somethin'?” Kaylee asked as she and the rest of the crew looked at Mal who was sitting on a crate in the middle of the cargo bay.

“Do you think he saw her?” Wash looked over at Zoe and they shared a meaningful gaze.

“Saw who? A her? Did he see a her?” Kaylee's confusion caused her to momentarily forget her hushed voice and her questions where greeted with the rest of the crew shushing her. They didn't need to worry though, Mal hadn't noticed anything.

“It's complicated.” Zoe answered Kaylee unwilling to say more. Wash rolled his eyes at his wife.

“She left him at the alter.” Wash's admission was greeted by a deep glare from Zoe. “Like they're not going to find out, it's a small town and we're his crew.” Zoe seemed to realize there was really no way of keeping it quiet forever, and didn't protest further. Wash continued on, “They were sweethearts growing up and decided to get married really young, but she got cold feet and ran off with his best friend. Left him at the alter with nothing but a note.”

“That's awful!” Kaylee exclaimed quietly.

“If she didn't love him isn't it best she ran off sooner and not later?” Simon chimed in from the back of the crowd. Kaylee's face fell.

“You are the romantic equivalent of a hei ye bi deng, ya know that?” Simon was startled by Kaylee's uncharacteristically sharp tone.

“That's not all though,” Zoe's voice startled everyone out of their current train of thought. “His best friend Liam is who she ran off with. He fought with us in the war. He didn't start out serving with us, but as more and more people died and troops closed ranks Liam ended up in our squad serving underneath Mal. Mal was trying to move the front line forward, Liam was right next to him. Liam saw an alliance soldier aiming right at Mal, and Liam pushed Mal out of the way. Took a bullet for him, died in Mal's arms. Liam's last words were 'Forgive me for loving her.'”

“Couldn't hate him. In love, it kills. Wishes bullet had hit him. She'd be happy and his pain would be gone.” The crew had gotten used to River's cryptic messages, this one was almost too coherent for comfort. She cocked her head and was staring at Mal. It was like she was mesmerized by his pain.

~

Simon hadn't understood Kaylee's anger from earlier, so different from her usually cheery self. He'd sought her out in the engine room when he'd known she'd be alone. He leaned up against the door frame and watched her work for a moment. Admired her work was more accurate. He'd had years of training and practice to do what he did, Kaylee she just knew it. He admired her gift more than any highly skilled doctor he'd ever worked with.

“Hei ya bi deng eh? Was what I said that bad?” His comment solicited nothing more then Kaylee's tools no longer clinking. “I mean when you think about it, having a wife run off would actually be worse than a fiance'.”

Kaylee crawled out from beneath the bulky engine. “I just don't like bein' looked down on s'all.” She blew a stray hair off of her face and cocked her hips to one side.

Simon's confusion only increased by her comment. “What... that wasn't... how did that?”

“This morning you said ship life was so 'inconvenient'. Like all'a us stickin' our necks out for you and River ain't good enough for ya. Like the crew of this ship ain't good enough for you. Like I...” Kaylee's voice cracked slightly and she broke eye contact.

Comprehension dawned over Simon and he finished Kaylee's sentence for her. “Like you weren't good enough for me.” Simon felt pompous the moment it had slipped out of his mouth. “You know I don't feel that way right?” Kaylee fingered her tool within her hands.

“It's just that I love it here, this ship.” her eyes look up and she gestures with her hands to the hull around her. “ain't nothin' but a bother to you.”

“Kaylee, doing my own laundry is a bother to me. Cooking my own food is a bother to me. My sister using my bed to put regurgitated apple bits on, is a bother to me.” Simon stared down at the floor, unsure of how she was taking all this. He was fully prepared to have that tool come down sharply on his skull. “You, you're not a bother to me.” He shuffled his feet nervously and fiddled with his ear. “You could never be a bother to me.”

Simon had been expecting several different reactions, all various forms of her telling him off or inflicting pain. The reaction he got was not something he'd prepared for at all. She rushed up to him and threw her arms around him. She didn't say anything, just nuzzled her head into his chest. He about fell over both from impact, and from shock. Luckily though, he didn't. Instead he wrapped his arms around her and they just hugged for a moment.

~

Inara was sitting in her shuttle, having no clients on this back water planet and not feeling in the mood to mingle with the crew. She was instead sulking by herself, thinking over how things went with Nandi for the umpteenth time. She heard a knock on her shuttle but didn't realize she should do anything about it until the second set of knocks sounded.

“Come in.”

The Companion had expected to see Kaylee or possibly even Mal, but she was definitely not expecting her. “Hi Zoe. Please come in.” Inara gestured for Zoe to come and sit down. Inara couldn't remember Zoe ever once setting foot into her shuttle. "Is something wrong?"

“No, everythings fine.” A long pause hung between them for a before Zoe continued. “I don't know the best way to say this, so I'm just going to say it. I'm asking you to stay off this planet.” Inara's confusion doubled if not tripled by this remark. “In fact it might be best if you just stayed in your shuttle the entire time we're on this planet.”

“Is something going on? Are Simon and River okay?” Inara couldn't even begin to fathom what Zoe would be asking this for.

“Simon and River are fine, it's complicated.” Zoe turns to walk out but Inara stands up and follows her.

“You can't really just restrict my access to a planet and the ship without giving me a reasonable explanation.” Zoe visibly softened at Inara's protest.

“It's Mal's home, Shadow is where he's from. And certain things will become more complicated by you being here.”

Chinese Translations:

Hei ye bi deng = night light

Part 2