She felt his eyes on her long before he spoke. She has gotten used to it, having him watch her every time he got a chance. She didn't question it, didn't comment on it - there was no use. He was proud, adamant and self-righteous. He would never admit to doing so.

There was also a major possibility he would stop if she let him find out she knew. And she didn't think she would stand not having his eyes on her any more.

So she stood perfectly still, her head bowed gently above the table as she was pouring herself a cup of tea. And she waited.

"Can't sleep?"

The corners of her mouth quirked lightly, but he couldn't see it - she had her back to him. Probably that was why she allowed herself to smile at all.

"You could say that, Captain," she answered in a serene, detached tone she'd mastered through the years of training. She knew it infuriated him at times, especially her using his title like this, but she wasn't going to submit to his frustration. Only that way he wasn't able to touch her.

The subtle change in his breathing told her she succeeded yet again. Good, she thought with slight smugness. He had forced her to act in the first place.

"Thought so," he commented. The sound of his heavy boots echoed through the quiet room, telling her he came closer. She still didn't face him; she stood straight, blowing at her tea gently. She could play this game forever. "You've been doin' it a lot lately. Comin' to the kitchen in the middle of the night, I mean."

She turned her head to the side slightly, seeing in the corner of her eye that he halted next to the sink, leaning against the edge of it. His arms were crossed over his chest and his eyes were on her. Always on her.

"How would you know that, Captain?" she asked, leaving the sarcasm out of her voice, for once. Maybe there was pure curiosity talking through her. Or maybe something else.

There was a pause. Did he not expect that question? Not possible. Or perhaps he had it all planned.

"I always know when someone's awake on my ship. Can hear it. Can feel it," he said, the air of possessiveness he had around him the whole time thickening. This was one of the things she hated about him and admired in him. His belief that everything on Serenity was his. Objects, people. Her.

She turned back to her tea. She cupped it in her hands, the warm spreading across her skin instantly. She let out a little sigh. "Can't you sleep?" she asked, making it as innocent and neutral as possible. She raised the cup to her lips and took a small sip.

He didn't answer right away; but when he finally did, it was carefully devoid of any subtext. "Yeah. Been havin' those dreams lately. Keep myself awake most of the time."

She turned to him. Their eyes interlocked and for a moment there nothing else existed. It shouldn't surprise her, not anymore, not after all this time. But it did. Everytime, it did.

She made sure her expression was perfectly emotionless; made sure her eyes didn't tell him how much she wanted to... how much she was hurting. Everytime they were close and not allowed to touch.

His eyes held hers for a little longer, firm and intensive, before sliding lower, over her full lips. She parted them unconsciously under his heavy scrutiny, her breath shallowing out. Dammit! She swallowed, regaining her composure in only seconds, but then his gaze moved even lower, to her neck. And he went visibly rigid.

At first she frowned lightly, but then the realisation hit her: the hickey her client gave her today. How could she forget about this? Her hand rose to her neck, but it was too late. Jealousy, contempt and outrage flickered across his face, before his eyes grew cold, his features hardening. Once again, she was just a whore to him. And nothing more.

She wanted to sob with frustration. Still, all she did was lift her chin defiantly and proceed to stare him down, showing him that she didn't give a damn what he thought. Even if she did.

But being a Companion was her job. Her independence.

"Rough day at work?" he asked, his voice ripping like a blade through her flesh. Through her heart.

She let herself smile cynically. "Nothing unusual," she shrugged lightly. She sipped from her cup, holding his eyes steadily. Take it, Mal. Think what you like.

"Huh," he made this sound again, his answer to so many questions, half-scoffing, half-dismissing. She hated it.

Suddenly, she wanted to be out of here, somewhere safe, far away from him, from his eyes, his body, his judgements. From her weaknesses, her insecurities, her longing for him. Far from love.

And never close enough.

She put away her cup and cleared her throat. "Goodnight, Captain," she said clearly, before starting past him. He didn't answer. He stood motionless, waiting for her to brush past him. She did and he closed his eyes briefly, stopping himself from grasping her elbow and jerking her back towards him. Stopping himself from running his fingers though her hair, mussing it just a little, so it wouldn't be so perfectly done even in the middle of the gorram night. Stopping himself from saying all of the the things he wanted to say to her--

IwouldkillthesonuvabitchwhodidthistoyouIwouldkillallofthemyou'reminetotouchtoholdtohaveyou'reallIcanthinkaboutandthat'swhyIcan'tfuckingsleep--

He turned around, his fingers closing around her wrist, halting her. She spun to face him, her eyes widened in shock, instantly drawn towards his hand on hers. He retrieved it as if burnt, but neither of them could deny the electricity that tingled across their skin. They haven't touched for so long. It was killing them.

Mal cleared his throat, forcing himself to slip into his captain mode. "Tomorrow we're sellin' the cargo on Osiris. But it'll all be done quickly, so stay confined to the ship. Alright?" he paused. They both heard the real request: Please don't service any clients tomorrow - let this one on your neck fade at least. Will you?

"Of course," she nodded, her skin still burning from his touch. She felt dizzy, like she hadn't felt in a long time now. And it was just one moment.

She turned away and walked off till he managed to memorize her features once again for the rest of the night.