River dances through the cargo bay, her bare feet carrying her weightlessly and gracefully across the dirty floor. Jayne watches from where he's polishing Vera, half-sprawled on the stairs, wary and yes, freaked out.

Ta ma de, girl's completely off her bird, God knows what's sittin' around in that twisted lil' mind of hers--

River smiles, pirouettes past him.

"Well I know what's sitting in yours. And she's not gonna keep you warm at night, mind you," her eyes dart towards the gun in his hands, "So I suggest you find yourself something of a breathing quality, Jayne."

He's speechless.

She just grins and flees up the stairs, dances across the catwalk. Hears voices. Arguing...

Such a sweet, sweet misery and she's drawn towards it. She gives in, rests her cheek against the cool hull, feels Serenity hum quietly. Listens greedily.

"Would you say what you really mean, for once? I'm so gorram tired of your games, 'Nara!" (can't we talk about what's going on between us like adults...?)

"You can't," River breaths, rueful.

"My games? What about yours? You've been consequently steering clear of any places I'd likely find the decent clientele! (you need to stop trying to gain control over me, Mal! That's not the way--)

"You sayin' I'm doin' it deliberately?! ('cause I am--)

"You are." (I know you are)

"That's ridiculous." (yeah. I'm a love's bitch, alright)

"Exactly!" (why won't you just kiss me...?)

"Well ain't that somethin'... Hate to break it to you, Ambassador, but you ain't the centre of this 'verse." (God help me, but you are the centre of mine)

"Dai rou mu ji..." (God help me, but I want you to kiss me--)

"What was that?" (another name you got there for me, sweetheart?)

"I said, I've had enough of this nonsense! You're the most arrogant, impudent, self-righteous, impertinent-- (the most mysterious, complex, enticing, attractive--)

"Whoa, whoa!" he cuts in. "Have you actually been thinkin' 'bout me this much? I'm mightly shaken, Inara." (please do with that pout again--)

River wants to weep for them. She moves, her fingertips trailing over the hull lovingly as she walks. She peeks inside Inara's shuttle.

"Kids," she tsks at them, shaking her head. They both pause, look at her in stunned silence. She smiles sadly. "Time to regroup in the sandbox. Instead of ruining each other's castles, learn how to build one together. It'll be more solid this way," she blinks at them and dances out and away, away, the following blankness of their minds clearing the skies for a few blessed seconds.

Away and away and then voices again, but not arguing this time--

Wash and Zoe are on the bridge. River hums joyfully as she nears them, hovers in the entrance, unnoticed. That's the way she likes it. See them, but don't let them see you. Because there's a chance they might not want to ever look again--

There. Happiness. Sheer and overwhelming and she breaths it in, tastes it, lets it cling to her skin--

"... for a boy? Hmm... Jamie?"

"Naah. Too girly. We ever have a boy, he gotta be named like a boy."

"Buster?"

"Much better, husband."

"Thought so. Kinda... tough name, dontcha think?"

"Yeah. Definitely."

"Right. What 'bout a girl? She's gotta have a girly name, ain't she."

"Reckon so."

"Maya?"

"Mmmm. Shiny..."

River beams. No subtext here. All out in the open and it's warming Serenity from the inside out.

She takes a step inside. They both turn to look at her.

"Hey there, kiddo," Wash smirks at her. "Sneakin' up on us again?" he adds good-naturedly.

River smiles at them, leans back against the wall, tilts her head. Looks past them, out into the black. "Chocolate skin, hazel eyes, soul of a warrior. A girl," she looks back at them and then quickly dances away, not waiting for them to inquire.

Wash won't see Maya. But he'll be there with her the whole time--

"Lord, let this crew get through all the difficulties they are bound to come across. Let them keep faith. May the peace lay down upon the dark spaces we fly across, planets we land on, people who cross our path--"

"Ah-ah-ah, preacher man," River looks inside his bunk. He raises his forehead from where it had been resting against his joined hands, gazes to the side at her. "That's not up to God. His sight won't reach those you're talking about, it's too black, way too black, too much pain and hatred. Too many lies. He would cry if he found out."

Shepherd Book lifts himself from his knees. "All happens for a reason, child. Why don't you come in?" he gestures with his arm.

She doesn't move. "This too?" she points to her brain. "Is there a reason for that, Shepherd? And I need a good one."

He sighs. "You are gifted, River. They hurt you, but they didn't reach you. Not like God did. He made you special - for a reason."

"I'm scary," River suggests.

"Not exactly what I had in mind, but--"

"Oh, but I am. Scary," she fiddles with the ends of her hair, slowly leans her head back against the frame. Her eyes are on Book. "Can kill people with my brain, you know."

Shepherd looks at her, the corners of his mouth twitching. "Being able to do something and actually do it, that's two different things. You know that, don't you?"

"Yes."

He smiles now, widely and sincerely. "Good. Now, you can heal or hurt, River. It's up to you."

"Up to me," she echoes. She steps inside, halts right in front of Book. Tilts her head to look up into his kind eyes. "Well, then I'd like to heal you, preacher man."

He's taken aback. He didn't expect that. "Me?" he mutters, frowning lightly. "I-- I don't need to be healed, River--"

"If you think so, then you most definitely do," she smiles slyly. She backs away, but before she's out of his bunk, she blows him a kiss.

Away and away and away. She dances because she feels free when she does. She's too fast for someone to catch her. She's too fast for the spacebugs to bite her. But she's skilled enough to stop when she wants to, and listen.

Miss Kaylee.

River creeps along the wall, reaches her bunk. Traces her fingers over the flowery letters. Shiny.

He's there, too, her boy of a brother. They make love. River crouches slowly, listens. Wonders if Jayne would do it with her. Smiles evilly. Knows he would. Knows he'd be gentle.

She listens for words, can't hear any. There's just the sound of their ragged breathing.

She listens for thoughts, can't hear any. Their minds are blank and their eyes filled with each other.

She dances away.

Enters her room and looks in the mirror.

Wishes she knew herself.

************************

Dai rou mu ji - dumb as a wooden chicken

Ta ma de - shit