They landed on Buell, closer to the Core then Zoe or Mal liked, but Simon had been absolutely insistant that he acquire the proper supplies to take care of two pregnant women on board. “We should meet back here in an hour.” Mal said. “You can all do whatever you like as long as you keep a low profile.” Just then Jayne walked past wearing his knit orange cap, Vera slung over his shoulder, singing. Kaylee practically hit herself in the face to stop from laughing. Everyone but Mal was shaking, holding in their laughter, even Simon was amused. Mal looked at Jayne in disbelief. “Are you deaf? I said low profile. Low.” Now either take off that hat or put that gorram gun away!” Jayne was surprised at Mal’s outburst but Kaylee shot him a look, a look that spoke volumes to him. Namely, ‘don’t start anymore fights with my captain or you will be without sex for a month.’ Jayne turned and went back into the ship. Mal shouted after him “And stop that gorram singing!”

Inara walked out of Serenity, dressed to the nines as usual. She approached Kaylee and hugged her. “You comin with us ‘Nara?”

“Yes, it’s been ages since I’ve gone out with you.” Inara smiled at Kaylee who looked a little irritated. Kaylee had wanted to talk to Jayne alone but the companion had just thrown in a wrench in her plans.

Zoe had elected to stay with Simon, which nobody had noticed. They all thought she was just being paranoid about her baby and wanted to stay with the doctor. River drifted towards Mal. “I’ll stay. Look after the house.” He looked down at her. She seemed very much a little girl to him at the moment and Mal wanted to comfort her. But she floated away, much the moonbrained way she used to do.

*****

Kaylee was also worried about River. As everybody made ready to leave she approached Simon. Inara hung back, waiting politely.

“Has River told you about the things she’s been seeing?” “Seeing? You mean the way she used to? No. That’s…that’s impossible.”

Kaylee already knew that Simon wouldn’t believe her. She didn’t know how she knew or when, but she did. Maybe her baby had told her. Simon was on a roll.

“She hasn’t been regressing. She would’ve told me! I know she would!” He was getting angry. “I would’ve noticed if she’d been acting strangely! I would’ve!”

“Look,” Kaylee said, a little pissed off her self, “I was just tryin ta warn ya! Cause she’s been sayin some mighty strange things ta me!”

Zoe put a hand on Simon’s shoulder. “Doc? Don’t you think we oughta get moving?”

Simon looked into Kaylee’s face almost frantically. “There’s nothing wrong with my sister. Nothing.”

*****

River Tam was alone. It still wasn’t quiet. Serenity spoke to her, whispering her secrets. River wanted to

-make him understand that he was the only reason I’m staying, I love him, so gorram much it almost kills me, heart broken before this, a man in uniform, the rain, the light, I’m the job now, like an Operative, he would’ve understood, but Mal would never-

River’s heart ached as she passed the shuttle door. It was as if somebody was squeezing her head.

She fled down into the cargo bay sitting on the weight bench. Suddenly she could feel hands running all over her body. She heard the waves as she had before. ‘Oh God,’ she thought. ‘Please God, don’t let me be Kaylee!’ River imagined Jayne touching her and had to fight the urge to throw up. She hated that man sometimes and just the thought of -

- her hands on my chest, pushing me back, everyone else is asleep, gonna enjoy this, want her, want her so much, hard to think, just want Kaylee-

River almost screamed, again fighting the urge to vomit. Now running, she went to the bridge, to her place. Every molecule of the ship spoke to her, each voice, each memory or thought blending into the next like a choir-

- I love him, he knows that, what if he leaves when I tell-

-he’s blaming me for it, but it is my fault, I- -Mal this, yes sir, no sir, what the hell, she’s my wife- -I want to take Simon to my bed-

This last thought stopped River cold. There was no silence but in the cacophony that voice stood out. She knelt on the stairs to the bridge, putting her ear to the floor. She heard ocean waves, saw her brother with a lover’s eye. “No!” she whispered throwing these memories off. Who? Who was thinking-

-he looks after me and my baby, like it was his, couldn’t ask for more but-

The thoughts were too much. All of it was too much. River got up, her face serene and left the thoughts behind.

*****

Jayne, Kaylee and Inara walked into the Moon Dog, a seedy bar in Green River. Kaylee had talked animatedly with Inara while they walked the streets but she was silently willing her friend to leave. So she’d picked the most fe yu bar she could find, hoping Inara would leave of her own accord.

Kaylee was right. “Egh.” Inara said. “I’ll meet up with you back at the ship mei mei.” As soon as she was out of sight Kaylee turned to Jayne. “I need to talk to you.” Jayne looked down at her. She was looking at him very seriously and she looked so gorram adorable that he almost laughed. He smiled. “This sounds serious. As the mother of my child, you should probably buy me a drink.”

*****

Inara left the bar. She was well aware that Kaylee had wanted her to leave. To her, the bar hadn’t looked that bad, but then maybe she had just been around Mal too long.

Then she saw him. The man she had left on Sihnon so long ago, the man who had nearly brought her to ruin, the first man she had ever loved. John Sturgis, lieutenant of General Calla.

Inara turned, walking away as fast as she could without appearing conspicuous. He hadn’t spotted her. ‘Or he didn’t recognize you. You aren’t fifteen anymore,’ she thought. Inara wanted to find Mal as quickly as she could. If Sturgis was here then there would be Alliance people out in force and with Serenity and her crew around it only meant one thing: trouble.

*****

“Okay, let me see if I got this,” Jayne said, slurring a little. “You want to have the baby,”

“Uh-huh,” Kaylee nodded.

“But you want to know if I want it too?”

“Yup. My ma always said that you should make damn sure a man wants your child ‘fore you go around calling him the daddy. Elsewise you might wake up and find your bunk cold and empty.”

Jayne took a swig of his drink. The girl was smart. Hell, she was smarter then him and that was saying something in his opinion.

“Well,” he began, wondering what exactly he was gonna say to her, “Kaylee girl, you pretty much got your hooks in me permanently. So I figure we should just have the baby. Cause you want it and I want it-”

“Her.” Kaylee said quietly, smiling a little. “River said she had your eyes.”

Jayne leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. He didn’t see her face cloud over as she remembered what else River had said.

*****

A few moments later all hell broke loose in Green River on Buell. But for a few seconds before, River felt the calm she missed so dearly. She would have wept had it not been for her mission. She lay down, bleeding, to die.