Zoe stayed in the cargo hold while Simon helped Jayne in the infirmary. She heard shouting from the little mechanic and Simon shouting right back. She paid it no mind. She thought on how she’d been carrying on with Simon, just because he was there. She didn’t really have any feelings for him but she’d just felt like she shouldn’t be alone, like she should always have somebody. The way it had been before Wash died. When they’d always been together, like two halves of a whole.

She sealed the loading door, but she didn’t throw the Reaver out. Something about it just bothered her. One Reaver, all by it’s lonesome? Only one? Reavers hunted in packs, not like a family, but like wild dogs. Never by themselves. Like her. Only one…why the hell did it bother her so damn much?

*****

It seemed like hours. Kaylee sat on her bunk, head in her hand. Simon hadn’t pulled the bullet out of her arm or looked at her ankle. But Kaylee wasn’t complaining. Between a dead merc and a go se ankle, she’d rather have to walk around with a gimp the rest of her life.

Simon had thrown her out of the infirmary. She didn’t blame him. Crisis situations weren’t easy for her, she tended to panic.

There had been blood everywhere, all over her and Jayne and Simon…even the smell, like raw meat. She could smell it in her clothes and in her hair. Suddenly Kaylee couldn’t stand the smell…God it was horrible. She limped over to the wall and pulled out the sink. She rubbed the water over her face and her hands and her hair, but the smell…God that smell! It wouldn’t come out. Kaylee wanted to scream and tear off her skin. The blood, the blood, the smell.

Kaylee sat down on her bunk, put her head between her knees and threw up on the floor.

*****

Inara sat with Mal in the kitchen. He’d been incredibly quiet. River say next to him, wearing his brown coat. She began to fidget. “Mal, is there something-”

Mal cut her off. “River tried to kill herself while we were gone. The only reason she’s alive is because I found her.” River sat silently, crying, twitching. “My God, did you tell Simon?” Inara was shocked. The little girl had been doing so well since becoming pilot of Serenity. The companion had sensed her deep rapport with the ship, almost as strong as Kaylee’s.

“No. And I don’t intend to.” “You can’t be serious! He’s her brother, he has a right to know-”

“He’s her brother as soon as he starts acting like it! The man is completely absorbed with Zoe and her baby!” Mal turned to her, furious. Inara had no idea what it had been like, finding that girl all alone trying to disappear forever out into the Black.

River suddenly began to claw at her back through the coat.

“Get it out! Get it out! It’ll kill us all!”

*****

Jayne had stabilized after a blood transfusion and extensive stitching. Simon had had to use most of the blood in stores, Jayne’d lost so much. He’d filled the puncture with gelofoam and would probably have to keep the merc in a drug-induced coma to make sure he didn’t hurt himself further and for the pain. It would take weeks for the skin to grow back.

Simon removed his surgical gloves and mask. He left the infirmary. Mal would need to know that Jayne was currently out of commission and Kaylee had been utterly frantic…

Simon saw it. River grappling with Mal in the kitchen. She was shrieking and Mal was trying to pin her to the table. Inara stood away from them, shocked into paralysis.

“It’s in my brain! They’re crawling all over me! Oh God, kill me!” River was scratching at her spine and face. She had thrown Mal’s coat to the floor and the bandages on her slashed arms were stained bright red. It was every nightmare Simon had imagined since Kaylee had warned him this morning. And he hadn’t seen it coming. Not once.

“What the hell happened? What did you do to my sister?” Simon pushed Mal back.

“She did it to herself! I just came along and patched her up the best I could!” Mal shouted.

“Get it out of me!” River shrieked, lunging for a kitchen knife. Inara stepped in front of the girl, blocking her path. River stepped around her almost invisible with speed, knocking the companion to the floor. She took the knife and stabbed herself in the back, cutting through her skin to expose the bone and muscle beneath. River clawed at the wound, revealing her spine. It gleamed, sliver.