BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - ROMANCE

NAILANI

The Bravest Thing Part 3
Friday, November 10, 2006

Taking place after the BDM. Jayne and Zoe, pairing. Jayne’s secret personal grief from his past ends up pushing him closer to Zoe than he could ever imagine.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1527    RATING: 8    SERIES: FIREFLY

The Bravest Thing Part 3 by Nailani Williams

Disclaimer: No Copyright Infringement intended so Joss put down the Sword of Truth!

Summary: Taking place after the BDM. Jayne and Zoe, pairing. Jayne’s secret personal grief from his past ends up pushing him closer to Zoe than he could ever imagine.

Rating: PG-13 (as of now)

A/N: This is non-canon pairing of Jayne\Zoe, there’s no sex in this part but there might be soon of course all NC-17 parts will be marked.

Enjoy the read and of course all feed back is appreciated! ~

Zoe:

I woke up with a hang over and a crick in my neck. I rose and looked up at Jayne who was fitting to wake up the same way. He was sleeping, his head cocked back against the wall at an odd angle. The hand that was in my hair now was slack against the bed and the other hand still held the half drunk bottle of booze.

I stood up and stretched quietly trying to work out the kink it my neck, before I reached down carefully taking the bottle of booze from his hand a set it down on the floor. I then helped him lay down on his back in a comfortable position. He barely even snorted as I moved him.

After I moved him I couldn’t help but stand and watch him. For the first time in a long time I was torn. It wasn’t quite morning yet and for some reason I couldn’t get myself to return to my bunk and I couldn‘t pinpoint why. I took a step towards the latter to his bunk and then stopped.

The green box of his keepsakes was still open. So I sat down on the floor and looked at another capture.

~

Jayne:

I was awake the moment she sat up, but I didn’t know what to do or say to her after I opened up like I did. I felt raw and I didn’t want to see those big brown teary eyes on me anymore so I feigned sleep. A part of me was mad at her. Angry, that she was in my space. I was mad at myself for letting her in. It would have been easier if I left.

Now she would stare at me with pity and probably share it with the others. And they would cry, “Poor Jayne Cobb!” I could see Little Kaylee or River, crying over my past and that was the last thing I wanted. I’ll tell Mal in the morning, that I was going.

I watched her look at me, through my eyelashes. She just stood there, then just when I thought she was going to leave she surprised me by sitting on the floor and opening my box. God, I wanted to yell at her. Damn it woman go! Leave me be, but when I heard her crying again over another one of my capture’s I felt guilty. I shouldn’t shared this with her. She had her own pain. How dare I give her mine! I opened my eyes and turned to look at her. She didn’t notice me. She just kept watching my captures.

And that’s when it happened. I stopped noticing her as first mate, I stopped noticing her as Mal’s war buddy, or Wash’s wife and I saw her as a woman. Curly hair, soft flawless brown skin and full soft lips. I immediately shut that down in my brain.

What the hell am I thinking? She just lost a husband, you dog, I chastised myself.

She looked up at me, suddenly obviously hearing me muttering a curse.

“You still here?” I said grumpily and she smiled.

“You’re not going to chase me away that easily, Jayne. I’m not a child, I’m on to your moods,” she said touching my shoulder. I shrugged her off.

“Look, thank you for listening last night Zoe, it helped me, really, but it was wrong of me to dump that of all things on you,” I said and she put her hand up and I stopped talking.

“Do you mind Jayne? I’m in the middle of this capture,” she hushed me and I rolled onto my stomach pouting. I really wanted her out of my room.

Why wouldn’t she leave? She laughed at one of the captures of my girl’s first birthday. I hadn’t heard her laugh since Wash died. And that’s when it dawned on me, that my pain wasn’t hurting her, it was actually helping her heal.

~

Zoe:

When I heard Mal yelling at Kaylee over the cost of some engine part she wanted, I decided it was time for me to make my way out of Jayne’s bunk. He was fast asleep on his stomach, snoring. I put his box of memories back in his duffel, and touched his back before I left.

I climbed out of Jayne bunk and bumped right into the Cap’n.

“Sir,” I said and he stood not able to speak. “I see you finally made your way out of Inara’s,” I smiled and he gave me a queer look, like I had three heads.

“You wanna tell me why you are coming out…of Jayne’s bunk…smiling?” Mal asked, and I continued to smile.

“Not particularly,” I said. He nodded with an eyebrow raised.

“Well, whatever you two were doing in there, if it’s making you smile again, then proceed,” Mal smiled putting his hand on my shoulder. I rolled my eyes.

“ I’m so glad to get your permission, Pa,” I deadpanned. “ Besides, it ain’t like that,” I said and he put his hands up in front him.

“Okay, it’s fine, if you don’t wanna tell me, just be careful he’s been with more than a few whores in his lifetime,” Mal warned in a over protective brotherly way. I glared at him.

“I said, It ain’t like that,” I said my good mood vanishing faster than food around Jayne.

“Okay, okay,” he said. “I got good news.”

“You got us a job,” I surmised.

“Yup, a legal one too from one o’ Inara’s friends, an easy pick up and drop off. Three passengers and there things moving from Bernadette to Deadwood, why they would make that move, I don’t really know, but they’re paying a pretty penny for the transport.” Mal said, River squeezed past us. To the pilot’s chair.

“Lil Albatross, to Bernadette!” he said, excitedly.

River just gave him a look and rolled her eyes, “We’ve been on the path to Bernadette since last night. we’ll be there in two days.” Mal looked at her a little shocked and little put out that she read him. River hunched her shoulders, “Someone had to work while you were otherwise occupied,” she said and I laughed. Mal’s stomped of the bridge. Muttering something about far reaching little girl ears. I went to go back to my bunk and change my clothes when River stopped me.

“Jayne’s leaving,” she said.

“What?” I asked confused.

“He’s going to leave us at Bernadette,” she said, her big eyes full of unshed tears.

“The hell he is!” I said and stomped back down to his bunk. And sure enough he was awake and packing.

~

Jayne:

I heard stomp’n towards my bunk before she lifted the hatch and climbed down the latter.

“What are you doing?” she yelled at me fire in her eyes. She looked as if I betrayed her.

“Well you can see as clear as day that I’m packing,” I said, not meeting her eyes.

“Why?” she yelled.

“It’s time, Zo, I’ve been on this boat too long,” I lied and she poked her finger in my chest.

“You are a coward,” she yelled and I backed up. “Are that afraid of your own emotions?”

“Look, you are the last person to talk. You spent six months walking around here like the living dead,” I said and knew the slap was coming, but I didn’t duck.

“Leave Jayne, go ahead, run away, I’m sure you wife and daughter would appreciate the fact that you insist on making yourself as miserable as possible for the rest of your life,” Zoe said and turned her back on me. That stung more then her words. She was right, but I’m a stubborn man set in my ways. I continued to pack, and she surprised me again today by turning to me and placing her hands on mine. “Jayne don’t leave, I know how you feel, we can help each other.”

“You have no idea what I feel! You don’t know how it feels to dream the dreams I do, imagining them crying out for my help. Last night, I dreamt of digging, digging for Ruby, and I could hear her crying out for me, but I couldn’t dig deep enough to get her in time,” I yelled grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. She just let her eyes warm to me, like I had never seen. She put her hand on my cheek. I realized that I was cryin and stopped. I took a deep breath and shoved it all back in. Where it belonged.

“Why do you want to be alone in this?” she asked and I let her go. “You can’t close off and shut yourself down forever, Jayne,” she whispered.

I couldn’t help it, I pulled her into my arms, “My grief has been with me so long, Zo. I kept it to myself for reason it keeps me focused, that hate, that coldness… I don‘t know who I am or what I am without it. It’s apart of me, it’s like a limb,” I whispered on the top of her head. She wrapped her arms around my waist.

“Let’s make a little deal, you stay here on Serenity and I won’t poke or prod you too hard. As long as you promise me that any time you feel like you’re having a hard time, like last night, you come to me and we’ll talk.” she said her hands were getting familiar with my back and her proximity was making my body take notice.

I sighed, “Sounds like a plan. Just don‘t go telling the others bout it, dong ma?”

“Of course not,” Zoe said and we held each other.

“Um, *achem*,” Mal said from the hatch of my bunk. He looked at my half filled duffel bag and then back to us, “You going somewhere Jayne?”

Zoe, looked up at me and I looked down at her then up at Mal, “No.” I said and she squeezed me tighter.

“Ooo-kay, so you mind if you stop maulin my first mate long enough to clear some of the empty boxes out of the cargo hold?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right there,” I said. “And I ain’t maulin her!” I added quickly.

After ten years and this was the step I was taking… and for the life of me I couldn’t tell whether it was just time for me deal, whether it was, Zoe, or both.

COMMENTS

Friday, November 10, 2006 7:03 PM

GYPSY15


Yeah! I'm hooked. Next part soon, please.

Saturday, November 11, 2006 12:51 AM

VERASAMUELS


Oooh, more please!



Vera

Saturday, November 11, 2006 10:07 AM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Oh...that was some shiny angst you got here, Nailani! Definitely got a touch of skill with the cursor and keyboard:D

And like my commentary predacessors have said: MORE!!

BEB

Saturday, November 18, 2006 3:38 PM

HANDSOF


quite addictive, so happy there's more

Monday, March 12, 2007 4:54 PM

VALERIEBEAN


"my good mood vanishing faster than food around Jayne" ... that's a good line. i think when zoe keeps pressing jayne for emotion, she's falling out of character too much. on the other hand, because jayne understands her grief, it may be the one place she's safe enough to do that.
good work. clearly, i'm hooked.


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