The Circular Irony Part 9 by Nailani Williams

Disclaimer: No Copyright Infringement intended so Joss put down the Sword of Infinite Truths!

Summary: After the BDM. Zayne, M/I, S/K, R/OC pairing. Taking place after the events of “The Bravest Thing” and “The Welcoming Committee”. When Mal gets a job on Persephone he realizes he’s transporting a new generation of Browncoats, who have their own special person straight out of the Alliance Academy. Meanwhile Zoe and Jayne work out their working relationship and River gets a new creep-a-fying boyfriend.

Rating: PG-13

An: Thanks for the feedback.

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Mal:

I left Jayne in the common area and went straight to Inara’s shuttle. I was angry I allowed Jayne’s comments to get under my skin, but I couldn’t get them outta my head. I watched her as she slept soundly in the middle of our bed and I immediately began to pace. She was in danger, her and my unborn child were in danger, because of me. Because of my choices. After the sixth time I turned in my pacing, Inara was awake and looking at me quietly.

I looked at her and then sat on the bed besides her, “You need to go.” I began.

“No,” she said at the same time.

“Nara you gotta go, you can’t be here, not now, it’s too dangerous. The Alliance is after us and Simon’s not fit to take care of you,” I explained while she shook her head.

“I’m not leaving you Mal!” she said and I pulled her into my arms.

“Just for now, Inara,” I whispered kissing her forehead. “Please,” I pleaded.

Inara pulled away from me looking in my eyes, “If I leave, you must promise that you’ll come back to me, Mal.”

I smiled wiping tears from her eyes, “I promise you,” I said and touched her lower stomach where our child rested, “and I promise you.”

River:

I felt as if I was pinned down by a great weight. Like the bones in my body were solid stone. I tried to open my eyes but couldn’t and I felt someone breathing against my neck. The girl panics, and the weapon fights. Thrashing back and forth on my bed as he pulled me deeper and deeper down into the place were he stays.

“Let me go, Jared,” I screamed into the darkness of the world that was his.

“No,” he said, standing before me. Appearing as randomly as an Illusionist. He was completely nude, and I couldn’t help but study his form. Perfection, I thought and he laughed.

“Tell me, I’m not the first man you’ve seen naked,” he grinned. I was about to answer but he read my thoughts. “Your brother doesn’t count.”

“If you wish to speak to me, please appear to me with proper attire on,” I blushed, averting my eyes. He laughed and disappeared again. When he returned he was in a red shirt and black pants, bare foot.

“Why did you bring me here?” I asked and he grinned.

“You are the first person I’ve met that can hear me, other than my brother, and he only hears me at random,” he admitted.

“Why not Simon?” I asked him and he shook his head.

“His mind … let’s just say they’re too many booby traps,” He said, easily. He seemed a little too at ease to be stuck in here.

“You get use to being here, I’ve been stuck in here for two years and I don’t know how to get out,” he sat down next to me and I nodded.

“They shocked you,” I whispered a chill going up my spine, remembering that cruel form of torture. I knew it well.

“Yes, you know, I could feel their presence in your mind as soon as you and your crew came into orbit,” he told me and then the room changed again from the black endless space to a beautiful field full of pink and yellow wild flowers and purple colored butterflies. “This is where I used to go, when they tested me.” There was a note of sadness in his voice and I knew he had never seen this place before. This was just a picture he must’ve grabbed from someone else’s mind.

“I was raised by the Alliance, much like your brother would have been if he didn’t lose control,” Jared said, staring straight ahead.

“What happened when he lost control?” I asked, not wanting to know, but needing to know. The room went dark again and the screaming began.

Screaming and screaming and then blood began filling the room. I was floating in it the blood rose so high to my chin then past my chin to my nose. Thick and sticky, I was drowning in it.

“Help!’ I choked out, sitting up suddenly with a gasp. I was soaking in sweat, my hair hung heavy around my shoulders drenched. I was in Simon and Kaylee’s bunk in their bed. Simon was sitting across from me, quietly looking at me. I couldn’t read his mind, he was shutting me out and that scared me.

Simon:

“Simon are you okay?” River asked me, but I had nothing to say to that. How could I be okay with everything that has happened? I nearly killed the woman I loved and… Jayne. And these powers inside my head, felt like home. Like this is what I’m supposed to be, a destroyer. I could kill my own mei mei, right now. I could look inside her chest to her heart and tell it to stop and it would for me.

The Blue Hands erased whatever happened on the Space station out of my head, but the emotions were still there. And with every minute I could feel my regard for life fading and it scared me to death.

I was a doctor. I am a doctor. I am a murderer. A mass murderer. I stood up and went over to River. I had watched her toss and turn fitfully in her sleep for half an hour before finally she came awake. I touched her cheek moving the stray hairs from her face and tucking them behind her ear. She put her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her.

“If I do anything else, mei mei, if I hurt anyone else,” I began and felt her tears hit my forearm. “You do whatever you have to do to stop me.” I finished and she shook her head.

“I won’t Simon, you didn’t give up on me… I am not giving up on you!” She cried and I sighed solemnly.

“I enjoyed it River,” I whispered and she looked up at me. “I enjoyed wrapping my hands around Kaylee’s neck , I-I enjoyed watching her gasp for life,” I whispered emotionless.

“It’s not you,” she argued. “It’s what they did to you!”

“I-- who I thought I was… that is what they did to me, River. I’m afraid that the person who nearly killed his girlfriend and enjoyed it. The person that was just imagining stopping his own sister’s heart, that is who I really am,” I closed my eyes, afraid to even look at my sister.

“No, no, Simon,” she said and shook her head. She held me tighter to her.

“I feel it so strong River,” I admitted and she looked up at me confused.

“You feel what so strong?” she asked.

“The need to kill everyone on this ship.”

“Shh, Simon please,” she pleaded. “Whatever you feel stop and remember who you are! My brother, my best friend, a loving boyfriend to Kaylee and an amazing doctor. Remember that you are loved.”

I touched her head, “Anyone, River, if I hurt anyone, and that includes Jayne, you must put a bullet to me,” I said and let her cry into my chest and even thought she was crying now, I knew in my heart she’d be strong enough to do what needed to be done.

Zoe:

Breakfast was empty, which I expected. Jayne wasn’t there he was on the cargo bay avoiding me which I also expected. I cried last night, but this morning I woke up and I was okay. He was right, we need to step back a bit, we needed space. I didn’t want the issue about Mal and I to keep creeping up every couple of years like it did with Wash. I wanted it to be dealt with once and for all, but I didn’t know how to deal with it. Mal came into the mess hall with Inara who was dressed in her finest companion clothes. I looked at both of them, confused. Everything seemed to be going well with them except for the occasional argument over petty things.

“What’s going on, Cap?” I asked and Mal took Inara’s hand.

“I’m leaving back to Deadwood. I’m going to stay with John and Bethanie for a bit,” she said and I looked at Mal.

“It’s for the best that she’s not here, not with things going the way they are with Simon and the New Browncoats on board,” he said and I nodded.

I went to Inara and gave her a hug, “You get there safe okay?” I said and she nodded.

“Take care of him, Zoe,” Inara began to cry and Mal took her in his arms. I took her hand and nodded.

“I will, I promise,” I said. “Did you say goodbye to Jayne?” I asked and she nodded taking out a handkerchief and blowing her nose.

“Yes and I also said good-bye to Kaylee, River and Simon,” she said and I sighed.

“Be safe, Inara,” I said again as she and Mal left the mess hall. I suddenly didn’t feel like breakfast.

I went down to the cargo bay where I found Jayne telling the New Browncoats about how River fought the Reavers at Mr. Universe’s. And I stood there on the catwalk listening. Meanwhile my mind kept telling me to go down and talk to Jayne. To set things straight between us before something horrible happened.

Mal sent Inara away, and that meant that he was expecting the verse to be an ugly place for all of us.