The Welcoming Committee: Prologue by Nailani Williams

Disclaimer: No Copyright Infringement intended so Joss put down the Sword of Truth!

Summary: After the BDM. Jayne and Zoe, pairing. Taking place after, “The Bravest Thing” Jayne’s going home to Deadwood and he realizes that only his Mama’s happy he’s home.

Rating: PG-13

A/N: Enjoy the read and of course all feedback is appreciated! ~

Jayne:

It was four days before we would set down on Deadwood and I realized bitterly, that I was obviously going to be tortured every single one of those days.

Nothing says new relationship more than the first fight. And I was in middle of having one. Don’t know how it started, but I was getting cold shouldered like there was no tomorrow. I blame it on Simon. He had to go asking me all types of personal questions during my physical. I had just wanted to get my little STD shot for Zoe’s benefit. When he had to ask how many girlie’s I slept with since my last shot a year ago.

“34,” I mumbled and Simon nearly stopped breathing. He stood next to me, staring with his mouth gaped open like a fish.

“Wo de ma, are you serious?” he said shocked.

“Yes, 34, no wait, 35, does a hand job count? Cause there was this one midget on Belladonna,” I began.

“Spare, me the details please!” he pleaded and I hunched my shoulders. “It’s a wonder you haven’t caught anything!” he said rolling up the sleeve of my t-shirt. He put rubbing alcohol on my upper arm in a circle and prepared the transdermal needle.

“Hey the women I have had were all clean,” I said and Simon rolled his eyes.

“It’s a surprise you have money for Ammo,” he said, a tinge of jealousy in his voice. I couldn’t help but bait him.

“You mad I had more trim than you can ever get, in your life,” I laughed. “34 different types of trim is a slow year for me,” I boasted just as Zoe came in to get something from the infirmary.

“34?” Zoe said, and I shut my mouth. “You slept with 34 different women in a year Jayne?” she was pissed. She grabbed what she wanted and turned to leave.

“Bao bei,” I said, as she turned and angrily stalked out of the infirmary. Just as I was going to move Simon shot me with the medicine.

“Ta ma de!” I said, grabbing my sore arm.

“I may not get to those astronomical numbers like you Jayne, but I’ll be sleeping with someone I love tonight, will you?” Simon said.

“Can it, Doc,” I threatened and Simon grinned and turned back to his work.

I found Zoe in the cargo bay, I knew she was down there counting our supplies like food and stuff so we could stock up on Deadwood. I noticed also that she got a nasty splinter from one of the wood boxes and she was fumbling with a pair of tweezers she got from the infirmary to get it out.

“Here, let me,” I said taking her hand. I took the tweezers from her and began helping her remove the splinter, “none of them mean anything, Zoe, you know that.” I found the tricky little splinter and removed it.

“34, Jayne? In a year?” she said, disappointment her voice. I sighed.

“Okay,” I stood up. “I’m not gonna do this with you Zo. I’m not going to explain my past actions because they’re in the past. I have been very careful and I don’t got nothing… you can even check with Simon, to see if I’m lying.”

“Jayne it’s not about whether you have diseases. We’ve lived close and long enough on this boat to know when one of us is sick and I know you haven’t been. I’m angry because you can so willingly give yourself to 34 different women, how am I supposed to know you really want to be with me? I don’t wanna have to worry if some filly turns her head and gives you a wink, that you’re gonna get gone,” she yelled.

“Well, because I care ‘bout you,” I said and she rolled her eyes and stormed away. “Zo…. Zoe, just hear me out,” I said running after her. She went into her bunk and locked the hatch.

“Damn it!’ I cursed and River peeking her head out from the cock pit.

“You better give her a little time, she’s thinking about doing harm to your man parts,” she advised and I backed away from the door. Women!, I thought exasperated.

“I heard that,” River said and I walked down into the kitchen for some comfort food.

~

Zoe:

I couldn’t help pacing, I felt like I was in a panic. 34 women in a year and that’s probably only low because we’ve been in and out of the black so much. I could hear Mal’s voice in my head going, Why are you surprised? It wasn’t that I was surprised, I was disgusted. Who does that?

I tried to calm myself, tried to pin his behavior on his grief and him being a merc, I knew Jayne came with a past, but could I truly deal with it? I sat on my bed, there was a picture of Wash and I. He was smiling this huge smile and he had his thumbs up. I put the picture face down.

“You’re no help,” I said to him.

I was scared I couldn’t trust in our relationship. That I couldn’t trust Jayne liked I used to trust Wash or was I just looking for an excuse not to be with him? I had to think, away from Jayne for a bit.

“I care bout you,” I heard Jayne’s voice in my head.

“Do you care enough?” I whispered.

You’ll never know if you don’t give him a chance, my inner voice said to me.

And I knew that was the problem. When I met Wash I was in a shell. He helped me out of it and made me grow into something more than just a soldier. When he died I found myself thrust back into that same shell, and I didn’t have the faith in Jayne that he’d be able to give me anything more and that I‘ll always be stuck in this shell, but maybe I was expecting too much of him.

Jayne:

She ain’t come out of her room till supper. How were we supposed to figure things out if she insisted on hiding from me? By the time she came out of her room for supper I thought maybe she’d see reason. So when she went into the kitchen to do the dishes after supper I thought I’d have a chance to talk to her.

“Dead man walking,” I heard Simon says as I got up to talk to her. I gave him my meanest glare and then I went in the kitchen.

“Zoe,” I said putting my hand on her upper arm. When she didn’t jerk away I took it as a small victory.

“I’m a man whore, forgive me?” I joked and she gave me a small grin.

“34 is a mighty big number, Jayne,” she said matter of factly. I shook my head.

“One and only one is a big number for me Zoe,” I said taking her soapy hand. “And nobody’s turning this old dog’s head. I’m old enough to know when I got something good,” I promised. Zoe smiled sweetly and then whispered in my ear:

“You cheat on me and I’ll cut your man parts off and then throw you and them out the airlock,” And then she kissed me.

“Why the airlock, bao bei?” I whined and she laughed.

“34,” she said shaking her head. Then I saw the light bulb go off. I should have left then. She turned to me and sweetly asked, “How many have you been with in total?”

“Oh no no no. No, I’m not gonna get my ass reemed over the coals over that number. I learned my lesson, all number and figures are classified,” I said trying to get out of the kitchen but she blocked me with a very large soapy butcher knife.

“When did you lose your virginity?” she asked and I sighed.

“When I was 14 my Uncle Joe bought me my first whore,” I admitted. Then quickly added, “But I didn’t really start getting trim until I was around seventeen.”

“646!” she cried out.

“How did you come up with that number?” I said a little surprised. She was way too low.

“Well, I subtracted 17 from 40, your current age. Then I subtracted 4 years from the time you were married to Vera, in which I hope you were faithful,” she glared at me and I hurriedly nodded. “Then I multiplied 34 women to 19 years and got 646 women.”

“You’re not gonna let this go are you?” I asked and she shook her head. “First of all I’d like to say, you don’t know if I had regulars or not so you can’t say I slept with 646 women,” I lied, but if it made her feel better… “Not to mention, you’re not subtracting the time I was courting Vera,” I said.

Silently, River came into the room and got an apple off of the counter. She looked at Zoe, then me then back to Zoe.

“890” she whispered in awe, as she left and I could have killed her right there.

“890, Jayne!” Zoe said to me and I hunched my shoulders.

“When you’re a Merc looking for a payday, you sit in the bars, and the whores, well they of course cozy up to you! Especially if the words out that you ain’t half bad in the sack, besides I was single!”

“I’m surprised it didn’t fall off!” she yelled, her knife was pointing to my man parts.

“Yeah, well, I only used to sex up the new girls,” I blurted out , but that just seemed to make her angrier.

“Get out!” she yelled at me wavy the knife.

“Zoe, I’m sorry,” I said, looking down at the ground.

“Just go, I need time to process such a large number!” she said and I left the kitchen.

“Simon! I’ma kill your feng le lil’ sister,” I yelled out and I could hear a vent open and close. River was hiding.

Three days and twelve hours until Deadwood and I was definitely being tortured, I thought...Bring on the fun times.