The Welcoming Committee: Part 1 by Nailani Williams

Disclaimer: No Copyright Infringement intended so Joss put down the Sword of Truth!

Summary: After the BDM. Jayne and Zoe, pairing. Taking place after, “The Bravest Thing” Jayne’s going home to Deadwood and he realizes that only his Mama’s happy he’s home.

Rating: PG-13

A/N: Enjoy the read and of course all feedback is appreciated! ~

By the time we got to Deadwood, I yearned to see my Mama not only because she seemed like the only one that’d be willing to listen to me right now, but because I knew she’d help me sort out my feelings for, Zoe. I knew one conversation with Mama would tell me what I need to be doing, so I was anxious to see our passengers to their homestead, so Zoe and I could shuttle out to Sol Star tomorrow.

John and Bethanie was let off in Swearensburg, that was the second biggest city on Deadwood, full of big brick buildings and paved roads. The Companion Couple, as we called them, were living in a little brick house off of Farnum Street. We loaded their things into their home, and I wished them good luck cause I knew they’d need it. They were so happy with all of us that they even offered paying me for my troubles with Lance, I declined much to everybody’s surprise.

“We do need help with arranging certain things with the locals, I was wondering if you could stay with us a bit,” John asked and I shook my head.

“I can find you someone, my brother in fact, he’ll be glad to help you, but I’m not staying on this piece of rock any longer than I necessary,” I said.

“We can make it worth your--” Bethanie began.

“You can pay me your entire fortune and it would not be enough,” I growled at her and she took a step back. “This ain’t my home, this will never be my home again,” I yelled and the I looked at all of them staring at me wide-eyed. I took a deep calming breath, “It’s your home, now and I hope you have yourself a fine time here.” I said, shaking John‘s hand, I walked away.

“Jayne, wait up!” Zoe said and I kept walking. She grabbed my arm. “Jayne what’s with you?” she asked.

“This place disturbs my calm and you ignoring me all week doesn’t help me much,” I admitted angrily and she was silent. I was tired of her silence.

“Just do me a favor if your gonna walk away from me… then walk!,” I yelled at her, she looked stricken for a moment. “We can write our little indiscretion off as a slip of the stick and we can move on! Otherwise I’d prefer if you stop treating me like I’m a pariah!”

“Jayne,” she began looking at me like I was losing it, talking to me all reasonable like, it was insulting, I walked away.

“I’ve had about enough of that look and that tone for one day!” I yelled to her behind me. And she followed.

“I’m not supposed to be upset?” Zoe asked me and I stopped so abruptly she nearly ran into me.

“Yes, be upset, Zo,” I said with my hands in the air in surrender, “But don’t shut me out. Not when you invited me in! I’m to old for this go se! If you’re not ready… tell me! Better yet, how bout this? Tell me now if your ready, or I’ll decide for you,” I yelled and she slapped me. I grabbed her by the collar of her brown coat and kissed her. She put her arms around my waist and reciprocated. We broke apart and I placed my forehead on hers, “I’m not going to let you toy with me, Zoe.” I whispered and she opened her mouth and I hushed her.

“I’ve asked Mal for use of the shuttle tomorrow, so I can go see my Mama. If you wanna come, if you want me in your life, then you meet me tomorrow morning in the shuttle. If you don’t come, I’ll take that as a sign that when I come back from my Mama’s you want things to go back to the way they were before Bernadette, dong ma?” I said and she quietly nodded. I broke away from her slowly and walked away before I could see her tears.

Zoe:

I was filled with confusing emotions. I was angry that he gave me an ultimatum, I was happy and pissed off that he gave me a way out, I was deeply saddened that I hurt him, and I was so, so scared of him and what getting into that shuttle with him tomorrow would mean.

I was so deep in thought I didn’t even hear Inara call my name. She placed her hand on my arm and I looked at her.

“Are you okay?” she asked and I shook my head. I didn’t realize I was crying. “I don’t know what to do,” I said and Inara hugged me.

“You love him,” she said and I hunched my shoulders.

“I don’t know,” I cried.

“It wasn’t a question trust me, I know. I see it between you two so easily,” she smiled. “Now, I know how it was for all of you when Mal and I were finding our way.”

“He gave me an ultimatum,” I whispered. “He told me he’d leave me be if I wasn’t ready,” I said.

“He wants you, Zoe. He spent the last ten years of his life, trying not to want this again, and then he meets you and you’re unsure,” Inara sighed. “It’s almost cruel.”

“So you think I should walk?” I said, taking a deep breath.

“If you’re not ready then don’t force it, but if you run because you’re scared, you’ll just be stealing time away from your own happiness. Trust me, I know,” Inara said and took my hand. “You lost Wash at Mr. Universe’s…but you had at least had something with him that was deep and profoundly special to look back on to help you, through. If I would have lost Mal and I almost did, there would have been nothing, but pain, sorrow and questions about what could have been.” “Is that why you stayed?” I surmised and she nodded.

“I choose my shuttle in Serenity, over the Companion’s Guild, and we worked it out. And as you know our relationship is by no means flawless, but each day we make it work.”

“When does the fear leave?” I looked her in the eye woman to woman and she smirked.

“When men like ours, it never goes away. It subsides, but I think the fear of losing them makes us love them harder,” she looked to where Mal was standing laughing with John.

“I’m afraid that I’ll love him more than Wash,” I whispered and Inara hugged me again.

“Maybe you will bao bei, but ask yourself what would Wash want for you? Would he want you to close yourself off and be unhappy? Or does he want you to have a life filled with happiness and love?”

She left me with that…and I sighed. I had some thinking to do.

Jayne:

“You dog’s pi-gu! Why the Hell would you yell at her like that? She’s gonna leave you before you two even set a foundation on something! Stupid hwoon dan!,” I cursed myself as I made my way back to Serenity on foot. It was a good kilo and a half away, but I couldn’t care, I was so pissed at myself, at Zoe, at this God forsaken planet I called home that I could barely stand it!

You did the right thing, she can’t string you along and play you for a fool, my mind said. She can’t pull away every time she hears something about you that she don’t like, especially here where there are plenty of things she could find out about you easy and not like.

But I really liked her… a lot, and if she didn’t show up tomorrow on that shuttle I might have to take John and Bethanie up on their offer and leave Serenity cause living with her and trying to act like we didn’t have somehthin’ goin’ on wasn’t an option.

I got back to Serenity before them. I knew they were going to spend sometime in town, picking up supplies, and buying food and such. I went to packing, I packed the majority of my things with and exception of a few guns that I wanted to leave Mal, and River. And a picture of me with my yellow hat on holding Vera, that seemed to always make Kaylee laugh out loud.

I loaded the shuttle making sure it was clean and fueled for tomorrow‘s trip. I made space for Zoe and her things just in case she was crazy enough to decide to choose me.

I lied down in the pilot’s chair to grab me some shut eye when I heard River slink her way inside.

“Are you still angry?” she whispered and I shook my head. I looked at River’s eyes, she always unnerved me and not because she was a reader, it was because every time I looked at her she reminded me of Ruby. Didn’t know why, maybe it was the helplessness, or the unconditional love she seemed to give everyone. I closed my eyes to will that pain, that seemed to always creep up on me, away.

“Nah,” I grinned at her as she crawled into the other seat. She pulled her knees to her chest. And rested her face on them.

“You don’t have to leave,” River said and I hunched my shoulders.

“It all comes down to her, girlie,” I sighed.

“Then you’re staying,” she smiled and I hoped she was right.

River smiled again and started humming, my eyes snapped opened when I realized what she was humming an old nursery rhyme I used to sing to Ruby, “There Once was an Old Lady”

“You reading me, girl,” I said sternly and she looked at me with wide eyes and shook her head. “Where did you hear that song?”

“I’ve been hearing it since we landed,” she hunched her shoulders and I relaxed.

“I used to sing her that, before she would go to sleep,” I laughed. “Vera used to always scold me, ‘You gonna give her nightmares singing that rhyme about an old lady who swallows things!’ But Ruby wouldn’t go to bed unless I sung it to her,” I laughed and River smiled again.

“You were a good father,” she said.

“Not good enough,” I sighed. And she was about to say otherwise when I stopped her. “Amscray, Crazy, I want a little shut eye without you gaping at me, you hear?” I said and she nodded and left me alone.