Cold Understanding
Sunday, February 4, 2007

Simon is a little possessive of the few things he has left in the 'verse.


Disclaimer: all things Firefly/Serenity are the property of Whedon et al. I’m not making any money off this, just playing with the toys.

Set: post-BDM. Written for the prompt "infirmary".

Kaylee shivered.

“Are you cold?”

She looked to Simon sitting next to her, his left leg pressed close against her right and she shivered again. “No, not now.” She smiled her special smile to him and ran her fingers down the back of his neck.

He shuddered and smiled himself. He leaned over and kissed her, feeling her fingers curl into his hair, tightening. She shifted her body, allowing her closer contact with the doctor. He took the cue and moved to meet her. Their chests now hugged each other and their hands went roaming. Their lips and tongues continued their explorations until Simon broke away, panting lightly.

“We should find somewhere more appropriate,” he said then rose.

Kaylee grabbed his proffered hand and was about to lead him through the infirmary door in front of them when she felt him hold steadfast. “Simon?”

His eyes were wide and she could see a red tinge to his cheeks. “In there?” He eye gestured to the medlab.

Kaylee grinned and shrugged. “Sure. Why not?” She stepped closer and took hold of his ear with her teeth. “Be kinda fun. ‘Sides,” she tugged on his lobe, “ya didn’t complain in the engine room.”

Simon remained rooted. The engine room had a door with a tiny window and was at the end of the ship. But the infirmary? It was surrounded on three sides by windows. But beyond that, it was the one place of refuge where he felt like he belonged. It was the only place on this whole ship where people respected his abilities, let alone his opinions, and where he could remember what it was like to be someone important, and not in the escaped fugitive sort of way. He needed it to remain wholly his.

She leaned back and eyed his expression with a light smile. “We just done sat here out in the open.” She motioned to the lounge.

“I know. It’s just...I mean...” He gulped.

Kaylee narrowed her eyes. “You embarrassed by me?”

“What? No. What?” He looked to her. “Of course not, Kaylee.”

She flashed her grin. “Then come on.” She tugged on his hand.

Taking a deep breath, Simon followed her in, letting his emotions get the better of him. Kaylee then shut the door. “That better?” He nodded then turned the lights down. It may have been late on the ship, but folks might still walk past and he didn’t want to encourage any spectators.

The blue cast comforted him, memories of late night trauma sessions and emergency room situations coming to the fore, reminding him of who he was. He smiled again and felt Kaylee begin, losing all semblance of reason as her hands began to once again turn his mind to jelly.


They sat on the floor, backs against the far cabinets, recovering their breaths. Simon’s thoughts were completely jumbled. Good thing his mouth was slightly numb; if he tried to utter any of those thoughts, Kaylee might think him a madman.

There was one thought, though, that replayed through his brain and it involved some praising of God and thanking Buddha. He chuckled, grasped her hand and brought it to his lips.

Simon watched Kaylee rise and don her coveralls once more, her body shivering the entire time. “You cold, bao bai?” He stood behind her now, lightly running his hands down her arms.

She nodded. “A little.” She faced him after pulling on her flowered shirt. “I can’t believe you ain’t.”

He shrugged. “It feels warm in here to me.” He smirked. “I think that you may have had something to do with that.” He kissed her cheek. He couldn’t believe he thought that he had to keep the infirmary ‘pure’.

She smirked a little. “Aw, that’s sweet a ya.” She let her eyes wander to the dimmed lights. “Maybe we could get ya some different lights. Somethin’ a little less chillin’.”

Simon stiffened a little. She wanted to change his room? His room? “Uh, well...”

“Sure!” Kaylee was on a whirl now. “And maybe paint it yellow. No, red! Like Inara’s shuttle used t’be. Maybe put up some flowers. And then here-” She moved to the sink.

“Kaylee,” Simon said, watching her flit about. He went to the counter where she had moved a piece of equipment over and placed it back in its original spot.

“And then some nice little-”

He ran a nervous hand through his hair, feeling his stress level rise. “Kaylee!”

“Huh?” She faced him. “What’s wrong, Simon?”

He breathed deeply to gain a measure of calm. He placed his hands on her shoulders. “This is an infirmary. A clinic. It’s where medicine is done.”

Kaylee picked up on the tone, as though the good doctor was addressing a child. “I done know that.” She stepped out of his touch.

His mind worked to try to find some way to tell her that he would not allow his sanctuary to be meddled with. A little fun was okay, but nothing permanent. This was his room, same as the engine room was hers. “It’s just that I need to have it a certain way.”

She could almost feel the pale lights sapping her heat. “But it don’t got to be so cold, do it?”

He blinked twice. “It’s not.”

And that was when Kaylee realised who Simon Tam was.


Sunday, February 4, 2007 5:18 PM


Um ... does Kaylee realize who Simon is in a good way or a bad way? Now, I'm a bit nervous ... it seems that Kaylee could construe his response as meaning that the room isn't cold to him because he's just as cold.

Could you, maybe, I don't know - write a bit of a sequel? Just to ease my mind?

Still nice introspection into Simon's thoughts about his life and in particular, the infirmary - his sanctuary.

Sunday, February 4, 2007 8:59 PM


Not sure what was meant by that last line. Also, much as it might be fun having them Christen every room on the ship with their love making, don't really like the notion of them doing it in a place that should be sterile so I can see why Simon was uncomfortable with that. Ali D
You can't take the sky from me

Monday, February 5, 2007 9:52 AM


Well...I commented about this fanfic over at, but I think I could be persuaded to drop one here;D

Gotta agree with TamSibling and AMDOBELL...Kaylee's last line? Utterly confusing and concern-inducing...with a sprinkling of "Oh crap..." Sequel would be mighty enlightening for a lot of minds 'round here:(


Tuesday, February 6, 2007 5:48 AM


Color me confused about the ending as well.

Was a very nice little fic about S/K though - something we don't normally see from you.


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