Read: Head Trauma , Focus on the Fine Qualities of Dinosaurs, Translation, All Kinds of Brilliant

The rain had been warm and River had refused the offer of his duster, but when they walked into the climate-controlled front room of the main hotel, Mal noticed that Jayne was having trouble keeping his eyes off of River’s chest. Her dress, some drapey lavender confection that Inara had picked up for her in one of the shops on Arabesque, clung to her body, and her unbound breasts peaked distinctly against the material. She turned and glared at Jayne. “Crude thoughts. Dirty little boy, break you like a toy.” Jayne snarled at her but she ignored him, turning instead to Mal. “Jacket now, please.” He shrugged out of the duster, still laughing at the look on Jayne’s face. He draped it around River’s shoulders like a cape, but she twisted and wriggled until her arms were through the appropriate holes. With the leather gunbelt at her hips – holding only a comm and a pocketknife, but nobody could tell – and the heavy combat boots peeking out below the dress, she looked like a tiny, girlie cowboy. She stuck her tongue out at him and he chuckled, tucking her hand through the loop of his arm. He himself was wearing his standard garb, his own gunbelt slung low around his hips, but Jayne was as fancified as Mal had ever seen him, with one of Simon’s black button-down shirts – as tight on Jayne as the T-shirts he favored – tucked into black trousers, with a long black coat over the ensemble. He had even gone so far as to shave his goatee, which had resulted in hooting and wolf-whistles from much of the female crew. There were knives, Mal had no doubt, concealed all about his person, but Jayne looked naked without a single gun. They walked across the luxuriously appointed lobby to the grand hardwood desk that marched along the back wall. Jayne’s attention was drawn to the wide French doors that led to the hotel bar, but River pinched him and he returned his attention to their forward progression. When they reached the concierge’s station, Jayne stepped up and addressed the uniformed man. “Good afternoon. I believe you have a reservation under Cobb?” Inara had coached him for hours, but the clothes did more to give him a veneer of respectability than his words, which still had the twang of a fringe planet. The entire package, however, made him look much like a man of comparative wealth from a modestly successful ranching planet. “Certainly, Sir. For you and your…” The man looked questioningly at the disreputable pair that followed him. Both were handsome, without doubt, but seemed a bit rough to his cultured eye. “Daughter. River Harbatkin, if you please.” River stepped forward and bobbed a charming little curtsey, not in the least thrown off by the oversized duster or the heavy boots. “And my husband, Captain Harbatkin. “Indeed.” The man smiled slightly, placated by her charming manner. “Identification, please?” Jayne and Mal handed over their identification cards, real and fake respectively, without issue, but River ducked her head and looked abashed. “I’m afraid that I don’t have any.” Jayne scowled at the obviously contrite girl, then beckoned the concierge closer. “My little girl weren’t but sixteen when she took to space, two years ago, and she got rid of all the evidence of her family what she could. Got a wave from her a month back, tellin’ me she and her new husband were swinging through, and did I want to see her. Thought I’d take her someplace nice, show her what she’s been missin’, runnin’ around in that fool boat. Didn’t think on her not havin’ any ident, these days.” Jayne did the beseeching-father look real well, it turned out, because the man did a quick dance across the keypad and handed over three plastic keycards. “Everything seems to be in order, Mr. Cobb.” The concierge winked at him. “Your suite is on floor three, with access to the rooftop pool rather than a balcony. I do hope that is acceptable.” “That’ll be just fine. Thank you kindly.” Mal stepped forward and took the cards from Jayne’s hand as he exchanged parting pleasantries. “Didn’t think he could do it. Silly Captain. ‘Course he could, with me in his head.” River snuggled into his side and looked over her shoulder at the concierge, who was watching them walk toward the lift. Jayne came quickly up to walk on her other side, a smile playing about his mouth. “You tellin’ me you put them words into Jayne’s mouth?” Mal looked at River with something like horror on his face, and she elbowed him gently. “No, silly. Learned his lessons, thinking of me.” She tucked her other hand through Jayne’s arm and smiled up at him. Mal was mighty curious about that phrasing, but she started chattering about the exciting things they were going to get to do, a newly-wed young woman visiting her loving, estranged father. Everybody but River had argued with Jayne’s part in Simon’s plan, even Jayne. It was only when he had gone step-by-step through his reasons that the plan was even grudgingly accepted. “We work in groups of three, after Kaylee’s gone. We need a way to get around River and my lack of unobtrusive identification, and this is the best I can come up with. If you have a better idea, I’m open to suggestions.” He had waited a moment, while everyone ran through options in their mind, but it was River that spoke. “He can do it. Has to do it. Don’t look like the captain, don’t look like Inara, don’t look like Kaylee, and Simon and I can’t be in the same group. Look a little like Jayne,” she trailed off as everybody stared at her. “Well, maybe if you squint.” Jayne had cleaned up nicely, though, and really did look like River once Inara had had at him. “If,” as Simon had suggested, “his wife had been surpassingly beautiful.” “It’s just weird,” Jayne had grumbled. “I shouldn’t be old enough to be anyone’s Pa.” The general consensus on that was hearty agreement. He was the oldest of the crew, but only by a bit. ))) Inara, as a registered Companion, had had no trouble checking in three days previous. There was a contract between the Guild and most of the finer resorts in the ‘verse, allowing Companions to maintain privacy in those instances where the client preferred discretion. Simon, as her “client,” had simply stood to her side and looked haughty and polished. Zoe, as bodyguard for a Companion travelling between worlds, had readily turned over her identification; her records was unblemished but for her affiliation with the Browncoats, and many ex-soldiers turned to escort duty. Zoe had been registered as Inara’s bodyguard with the reputable firm though which the Guild usually contracted its guardsmen for the last six months, ever since Inara had chosen not to return to the training house and remain onboard Serenity. No-one on board had questioned her decision, though Zoe had heard enough of Inara’s grumbling to assume that it hadn’t gone so smoothly on the other end. The next time Kaylee had gone to Mal requesting an engine part that hadn’t been replaced during the crash but had already burned out, Inara had suggested “hiring” Zoe; she would be paid regular wages with Guild money, and Inara herself would receive less interference from the training house. Mal had been reluctant, but eventually Zoe and Inara went through the paperwork themselves and presented it to him as a fait accompli. The petulance in his voice had been belied by the gratitude in his eyes, and Zoe had thought much more fondly on Inara as a result. Zoe had never acted as a bodyguard in truth; Inara was exceedingly well trained in self-defense and was nigh on notorious for her screening process. The first time Inara had dismissed Zoe’s suggestions of increased security, however, Zoe had simply reminded her of Atherton Wing. Soon, Inara’s shuttle was equipped with two separate panic buttons that linked to the bridge, Zoe’s quarters, and a hand-held comm that Zoe began carrying everywhere. Inara had yet to use the panic button, but she had to admit that they provided a sense of security she hadn’t been aware of missing. Zoe’s role as bodyguard had given her rudimentary access to the hotel’s security facilities, including exclusive access to the monitoring of all Cortex traffic and video pickups within the Companion’s suite itself, re-routed to the small office and bedchamber that was concealed discreetly off of the suite’s parlor. The expectation was that Kaylee, dropped a week before with forged work papers that had her doing the circuits of every garage and dockyard with which the restort was affiliated, would be called in to fix a mechanical malfunction in the Companion’s suite, and would use the time to hack into the resort’s security feeds and set up the codes to loop video through the necessary cameras. With all three teams in place, it was time to settle down to some solid revelry. The plan was set to go into action two nights after the Cobb-Harbatkin party checked into the hotel, two nights before the yearly festival for which the resort was renowned. The resort itself was an engineering masterpiece; Kaylee and Simon had spent three days poring over the schematics for every patented device used to keep the damn thing in place. The thousand acre complex was held in constant upper-atmosphere orbit above a massive ice planet. A giant disk of metal into which the structures were rooted, topped with imported earth and the stones that made up the low, sprawling hotels and entertainment venues of the resort, always lush and verdant, warm and humid, spun slowly above the blue- , purple- and green-tinged ice that arched into mountains and valleys below. The complex’s atmosphere and gravity were maintained by huge generators built within the original metal disk, and the dockyards were inset around the disk’s edges. When a ship landed, the open docking space would close behind it and air would be pumped into the room until the pressure equalized and the guests could emerge; they were then escorted by uniformed resort employees through a second chamber, a ring that ran the entire circumference of the resort and was floored in clear, shock-absorbent plastic, affording an underfoot view of the planet. Something much like a sleeker version of Serenity’s own hover-capable mule picked up the guests and their luggage and drove them to one of the ramps that mounted gradually from the docking level to the resort level, and then to their hotel or chosen venue. Inara was paying for her suite, which she had attained only due to her high standing in the House Madrassa hierarchy, but Kaylee had used Inara’s shuttle to contact Zoe through her comm-link and talked her through hacking into the hotel’s security and reserving a room for one Jason Cobb and family. They were much lower class than anyone else in the main hotel, even allowing for Jayne’s cover as some backwater baron, but they were all attractive and sociable and their presence implied veritable storehouses of money, so they were readily accepted by bored socialites. ))) Jayne wasn’t bored. He had thought to be, what with no drinking on the job and no whoring to be had, no guns and no fighting; there should have been little to occupy his time. He had spent the first evening with his “family” in a casino, but between the three of them they amassed money so quickly that they started to make a show of losing some of it back to the house. Mal wouldn’t let them go back, said they were too conspicuous. Jayne wasn’t sure what that meant, but figured it wasn’t good, so he agreed. Besides, they were trying to lay low, and winning all the time only made them stand out. The next day was spent mostly by the rooftop pool, the three of them playing tag and challenging a group of idle young men to a game of water volleyball. Jayne’d seen Kaylee pass through once, neat and tidy in her little uniform but with engine grease across her cheek, but he’d known better than to make a fuss. When Inara and Simon came out and lounged by the pool, though, he nearly broke something trying not to laugh at Simon with his pasty skin in his tiny little black swim trunks; boy had decent muscles, at least. Good to know in case of a fight. Zoe stood behind them, looking dangerous in a dark vest and brown pants with her gun strapped to her thigh. Inara, however, was wearing some little dark red suit under a long, golden wrap that was mostly transparent, and she arranged it around her to showcase her long legs and deep cleavage. Even Mal was having a hard time keeping his eyes off of her. “Why ain’t you wearin’ somethin’ like that, moonbrain?” Jayne asked River, who had clambered out of the pool to lounge on a towel directly on the warm deck. She looked fine enough, to be sure, but her dark-blue one-piece weren’t nothin’ compared to Inara’s bitty red number. “Not an object. A weapon. A girl. A mind. Inara wants to be an object, underestimated. Lover,” she pointed at Inara. “Fighter,” and she pointed at herself. “Besides,” she splashed Jayne where he was leaning against the edge of the pool, “think I want you and Mal looking at me and thinking about sex all the time? Especially not the crude way you think.” She stuck her tongue out. “What about the crude way he thinks?” Jayne demanded, pointing at Mal and deliberately avoiding all points of thought where River and sexing converged. “Nothin’ crude about me,” Mal mumbled, barely paying attention, from where he was spread out on the chaise next to River. He was burning a bit, the scars on his back standing out silver against the reddening skin, and River realized her own skin was starting to smart. “Right, Captain. Whatever you say.” She smirked at Jayne. “Let’s get your pristine self out of the sun before you get so red you can’t sit.” River, Mal and Jayne retired to an indoor lounge that looked over the pool, drinking funny fruit drinks with no alcohol that made Jayne grimace and River smile. They spent most of the afternoon that way, talking to anyone who stopped by their table, and at dinner were invited to the table of the hosts of the young men whom they had bested at volleyball earlier during the day; one of their fathers was a government auditor at a conference, and had invited his wife, son, and two of his son’s friends along. They dressed in the finest things they brought, Jayne in his black trousers and another of Simon’s shirts, Mal in black trousers and some red collared number much finer than what he usually wore, but River outshone them both in a plain blue dress borrowed from Inara that Kaylee had tailored to fit. It was cut high across her collarbones in front but dipped almost to her sacrum in back, and both men thought she looked lovely. Well, Mal said lovely. Jayne said something else entirely that earned him a smack from each of them. She’d even traded in her combat boots for sandals, because none of Inara’s dress shoes had fit. At dinner, River sat next to Jayne so she could poke him whenever he started eating like an animal or saying something uncouth, and next to Mal so she could lean on him and gaze adoringly into his eyes like the lovebird she supposedly was, but her attention was mostly on the auditor’s wife. The woman was fairly plain – River supposed she was spoiled after all Serenity’s crew – but elegant, and she wore small jewels in her ears and around her neck. Looking around the dining room, River realized that all of the women were wearing modest jewelry, but thinking about the gorgeous displays they would make at the festival. Every year, the spinning resort hosted a winter ball, a grand fete that brought in the elite from around the Core and the richer border worlds. The temperature on the complex never dropped below seventy degrees Fahrenheit, and the Ice Hall was named for its construction rather than its temperature. The hall, which took up little space above ground, was a massive underground structure directly in the center of the disk. Tunnels and caves walled in porcelain and plastic tinted blue and green, purple and white to mimic the planet below, led inexorably down to a grand hall with a floor of the same clear material as the inner docking ring. Silver chandeliers dripped crystal fixtures and long buffet tables would offer fruits and flavored ices, chilled hors d‘oeuvres and champagne. Every woman who attended wore their finest diamonds set off by black-and-white gowns, and in the weeks preceding the ball itself, they secured those diamonds in the hotel safe. The main hotel was the most exclusive, and it stood to reason that its safe would hold the most precious jewels. River couldn’t wait to get her itchy fingers on some pretty trinkets. ))) Kaylee’s fingers were dancing over the keys to the console in Zoe’s room. Computers weren’t really her thing, but if she thought about the way codes hooked together the same way she thought about the engine in Serenity, she could make connections and break firewalls almost as fast as River. The first time Simon had seen her hack her way into an estate’s security system via a tap she had installed during an alleged maintenance call, it had taken all of his resolve to wait until she was finished before ripping her coveralls open and painting her all kinds of brilliant with his mouth. River had walked into the bridge, blanched, and walked out, pushing the captain ahead of her. It was only when they heard her exasperated “Even bunnies get tired sometimes!” that they realized they had had company. Now Simon was watching from the doorway, eyes hot, as she broke through the easy barriers set up between the re-routed security feeds for the Companion’s suite and those for the hotel at large. Twenty minutes later, she finished programming the codes that would replace the video feeds with a pre-recorded visual and instructed both Inara and Zoe in how to execute the sequence. As she finished her lecture, she realized that Simon’s hand was hot on her waist and that he had positioned her in front of him, a barrier between his body and the other women. Realizing what that probably meant, she blushed. Inara looked the two of them over, slowly, and raised one perfectly arched eyebrow. “Zoe, I think I fancy a walk. Would you care to accompany me?” She turned and walked from the room, waiting at the open door. Zoe, too, looked them over. Kaylee felt her face turn even redder, and her skin was scorching under Simon’s hand. “I think I would, at that.” And they were alone. ))) River was dancing. Since she only had the one dress, and Mal the one nice outfit, the three had chosen a different restaurant for dinner. It meant that the price of the meal wouldn’t go on the tab at the hotel – which they fully intended to run out on, right after the heist – but Cap’n said not to worry about it, so worry about it she wouldn’t. There had been bread and butter, chicken and mushrooms and salad with cranberries and parmesan, cheese and nuts and chocolate mousse. Jayne was still seated at the table, finishing anything Mal and River left behind, though there wasn’t much. Soon after the music had started, Mal had noticed River swaying in her seat. When the first couple had moved onto the dance floor, she had watched them with bright eyes. Soon the floor was almost full, and she had folded her hands over her stomach and watched with a sated smile. Mal had made up his mind quickly; indeed, there was no other way to surprise River Tam. By the time he was standing with his hand out in invitation she had already moved through surprise to delight and was on her way to rising. Mal was a better dancer than River had expected. Not brilliant, but passable, and he kept his boots off of her toes and let her move the way she wanted to. His hands were warm on the small of her back as he turned her, and when she spun away from him she missed the heat until she came up against a solid wall of warmth. Jayne caught her, grinned at Mal, and whisked her away. She supposed she shouldn’t be surprised that a man so dependent on his body for his survival should be graceful, but he had never thought about it so she had never read it. “Note to self,” she murmured, “pay attention.” “What’s that, li’l moonbrain?” He grinned down at her, happy with the steady melody thrumming in the floor. “Just thinking.” “Most people try to keep thoughts on the inside,” he laughed, and then Mal was spinning her away again. Back and forth she spun between the two men, once taking a whirl with a stranger, but Jayne and Mal had converged on them before she had made even a full circuit of the floor. Laughing, she released the man and flowed back into Mal’s arms, to be spun out into Jayne’s embrace and claimed again. They made a pretty parody, she thought, three friends playing and the world sees love. ))) After the dancing, the captain, pilot and mercenary stumbled back to their hotel in a euphoric daze. Still humming, River stripped herself of the pretty blue dress and folded it into the bottom of the rucksack that the porter had brought in with her otherwise empty luggage. She danced into the bathroom and pulled her lavender dress off of the towel rack. It was dry, so she pulled it over her head. She was still seeking the armholes when she felt Mal enter the room, then back out quickly. Shouldn’t have left the door open, she thought. “Sorry, Albatross!” He called, though she read no real embarrassment in his mind. He was in too good of a mood to feel much of anything but ready for the job. “Out in a second!” She called back. She made sure that her plain white panties hadn’t bunched the fabric in back, grabbed her gunbelt from the counter and her boots from under the sink, and made her way back into the living room. “’Sall yours, Cap.” “Thanks. Jayne’s taken over the one in our bedroom.” He ducked inside, a bag over his arm, and closed the door. River laughed at the thought of the two men fighting over the bathroom, but then, she was still amused at them tussling over blankets in the middle of the night. At one point, Mal had announced his intentions of sleeping on the couch. He had gathered a blanket from the closet and entered the main room before he remembered that the suite didn’t have a lounge, only a breakfast nook and a writing desk. She had watched, laughing, from her doorway as he scowled and returned to the bed to find that Jayne had spread over the entire surface. Only with threats of physical violence and decreased wages had Mal made Jayne roll to his side of the bed. River pulled on her boots, laced them up, and got prepared to wait. It took them such a long time to get ready. When they finally emerged from their respective chambers, River had finished composing another limerick. She recited it for them as they ventured out into the hall. “There once was a man-ape named Jayne Who was known for his very small brain But when he did crime Which was all of the time He showed he was easy to train.” Mal chuckled and even Jayne grinned, high on the rush of adrenaline in his veins. “Getcha for that, moonbrain.” “Moony I may be, but I can still read your mind.” She tapped her own temple, then reached up and rapped on his forehead. “Hey!” She exclaimed. “Lookee, Captain, it’s not hollow!” She rapped again, then darted away before he could grab her. “Alright, kids. Hush now and follow your Captain.” In spite of his words, Mal sent River forward to take point. She walked just ahead of the two men, trying to look as insouciant as possible in case they encountered anyone. With Mal in his duster and Jayne wearing at least two of his knives over his clothing, though, their chances of looking inconspicuous weren’t that good. It was for the best, River thought, that nobody saw them on their way to the maintenance stairwell at the end of the hall. Sneaking downstairs was easy-peasy, and into the vault even easier. Zoe, in Inara’s suite, was tracking their movements and overriding cameras as they progressed. She overrode the lock on the vault, and they were in. There were no cameras in the vault itself, and she waited anxiously for them to re-emerge. When they did, Mal looked up and gave the camera a thumbs-up. It was time for her to signal Kaylee and get to work. ))) Kaylee waited in the shuttle for Zoe to signal her on the comm, two clicks, pause, two clicks. When the signal came, she knew that Mal’s team was on their way to the rendezvous, and it was time to get to work. By the time Zoe’s team reached the resort’s secondary medical bay, Kaylee was deep in the belly of the complex, un-fixing some of the adjustments she had made just days before. When they felt the ground beneath them start to tremble and roll, they knew she had completed the first stage of her task. The two nurses on the night-staff ran shrieking from the building, joining the general press of panicked guests fleeing the tremors. Since there was no point of origin, there was no consensus on where to run, and people were running every which way. Zoe smiled and moved forward, beckoning Simon and Inara to follow. “Rich men like expensive drugs,” Simon had explained. “Some of those medicines, we have no use for, but they fetch a high price even on the rim. We go in, get what we can, and what we can’t use we trade for what we need.” It was Inara who had come to him with an invitation to the winter ball, achieved by dubious means, and the suggestion that they use the ball as cover. Simon and Mal had spent most of an evening looking through blueprints and accommodating their plans to the suggestion, but it was Kaylee, stumbling through the kitchen late that night with a yawn and a smile, who had tapped the vault and asked “why not?” River had spent five shuddering days on minimal medication, suffering through nightmares so she would have enough to stay sane through the heist. The entire crew had sat with her at one time or another, though she had thrown things at or thrown up on most of them. It wasn’t until she woke up to Simon smiling anxiously from the foot of the bed, Inara and Kaylee each holding one of her hands, that she was told of the plan to steal the pretties. ))) By the time she, Jayne and Mal had met up with the other three, Simon had loaded four crates with supplies and was working on a fifth. River had headed towards the maintenance access hatch in the floor of the supply room, reaching out onto the ramp beneath the building and hitting the summoning button for one of the mules used to get around the network of tunnels beneath the complex. She traded places with Jayne and started putting things into boxes, half-hearing Simon’s directions and half-pulling the names directly from his mind. Mal was handing Jayne crates one at a time, full of bandages and equipment, solution for the sterilizer, tubes of creams and ointments and bottles of pills and solutions. She stumbled against the wall and almost felt sorry for the people inevitably injured in the upheaval, but this medical facility was primarily used for tending injured mechanics and those guests whose mental stability was approximated by means of chemical enhancement. In other words, exactly what they needed. By the time the mule arrived, Simon had five full crates ready to go. All of them worked to load the goods, and then he and Zoe climbed on and punched the button that would return the mule to the supply bay. To get there, the mule would have to pass the docking bay where Serenity was cloistered, and Zoe knew how to override the auto-pilot. The other four would have to make their way on foot, but it wasn’t particularly far. The infirmary had been placed to optimize convenience of access for the mechanics working in the supply bay. River and Jayne took point, setting off at a slow trot that would allow Inara to keep pace even in her dress. They rounded a corner and heard gunfire; there was a bright flash ahead and then Jayne was swearing, grabbing his shoulder. “Just a graze, moonbrain. Let’s go.” They charged the unlucky guard who hadn’t had the sense to seek the surface when the ground began to wobble. There were two, and Jayne brought one down while River took the other. “Such ineptitude,” she tsked, wiping her hands of the guard’s sweat. Captain had said no corpses, so she had cut off his air until his presence in her mind faded to gray. “River, get down here! Inara’s been shot!” Mal’s shout sent her racing back down the corridor, her rucksack of gems beating against her back. “Maybe not so inept.” Jayne shot her a grin, but only ran faster. By the time they rounded the corner and reached Inara, Mal had taken out the guard who had stumbled upon them from behind and was trying to tighten his gunbelt around Inara’s thigh. It had worked for him in the past, but her leg was so much thinner that he couldn’t get it tight enough. “Here,” River said, unbuckling her own. Her waist was small and the belt had a pressure clamp, not a stick-and-eye like Mal’s. He thanked her and fixed the belt over the injury, leaving Inara even paler than before. “Ren ci de Fo zu, but this hurts,” she gasped, but with Jayne and Mal’s help she gained her feet. They made slow progress down the tunnel for a moment, but finally Jayne grunted and swung Inara up into his arms. “I’ve done too much of this carryin’ girls thing, lately,” he spat, but ran as smoothly as he could, though Inara still clutched at his shirt and whimpered. “River. Any sign of the mule?” Mal asked, loping steadily beside her. “None. Figure it had already gone past when the guards came around the bend.” With that, they came to the access passage for Serenity’s docking bay. Kaylee was pacing in the entrance, looking worried, which meant that the rest of her job was completed and there were only moments to get everything secure. She looked up and squeaked when she saw them, and shouted for Simon. Simon rushed out of the infirmary, where he had been transferring breakables from the crates into the racks in the cabinets. His eyes widened when he saw Jayne carrying Inara past Zoe, and dashed back into the infirmary. By the time the merc arrived, Simon had cleared the side-bed and readied the restraints. The examination table’s security straps weren’t as solid as he would like, since River had taken a scalpel to them months ago. “Strap her down,” he commanded. “The ship’s gonna go any minute. You and I have to make sure none of these crates fly around in the process.” “I’ll help!” Kaylee said. “Ship’s locked up, air’s pumped out, mule’s clamped down, and the others are headed to the bridge. We’ve got maybe a minute left.” She and Jayne carried the two crates of bandages and tubes out into the passenger lounge and wedged them between the sofa and the wall, while Simon frantically thrust bottles into racks. “Thirty seconds!” River’s voice came over the comm. Simon shoved another half-emptied crate towards Jayne, who trundled it out into the lounge, and then shoved the remaining two crates under the examination table itself. River hadn’t anticipated too much lurching, but he felt better with as much secure as possible. Kaylee joined him on one side of the central table, gripping the side and bracing for a crash, and Jayne moved to the other. Inara shot out a hand and squeezed at his wrist, and Simon could see the merc flinch at the nails digging into his skin, but he smiled at her. “We’ll be,” he started, and the floor went out. The tiny detonation that Kaylee had rigged set one of the complex’s stabilizers out of synch, finishing what she had started with her first tinkerings, which had caused the tremors. The ground heaved, the entire disk tipping almost thirty degrees. The tumble would only last for a few seconds before the other stabilizers compensated, and it wouldn’t have been so bad for the ships locked into the bays if she hadn’t also rigged the doors to any unpressurized chambers to slide open and the ship-clamps to disengage, pitching at least ten ships and shuttles into space. Serenity tumbled for an agonizing minute, nose up, the complex growing smaller and smaller above them. Less than half a mile from the planet’s surface, River estimated that she was in the right position to convert her downward speed to forward momentum, using the fall to escape the giant ice-planet’s gravity well. She hooted as she regained control of the ship, and the noise rang over the comm. Simon checked on Kaylee, still clinging to the bed’s frame, and winced at the gash on her forehead she’d gotten from hitting her head on the unsecured lamp. Jayne was being noisily sick into the infirmary’s washbasin. Simon looked at Inara and smiled wearily. “I really hate my sister.” ))) Inara had never been shot before. She had been terrified, chased, drugged, and shot at, but never actually shot. It hurt. She recalled her harsh words from earlier; once the initial shock had worn off, she’d babbled until the drugs hit her system. “It was almost time for my yearly examination; you could have robbed another Alliance hospital! But no, you had to try something new, something dangerous. Something Mal would have done!” Mal, helping her settle into the infirmary’s examination chair, had been smiling until she said that. Then his grin had snapped off like a lightbulb blowing. She’d commenced swearing at length, berating Simon for his incompetence, questioning Mal’s ancestry, even damning Zoe for her failure as a bodyguard. By the time she was done, everyone but the doctor was clustered in the door to the infirmary with wide eyes and solemn expressions. It wasn’t until Simon injected the painkiller in her neck and she finally quieted that Kaylee started chuckling, little girl giggles that grew into huge, rolling bellows of laughter. River followed, with Jayne right behind. Everyone was soon laughing, including Inara, but Simon, who went about his work with gentle hands and a tight, pained smile. Simon had some of the recently acquired crates of supplies open on the floor around her, and was rifling through one searching for… something. She felt exposed, her gown ripped open because the dress was ruined anyway and it made access to the wound easier, her thigh splayed to the side and cut open because the bullet was almost through and it would be worse on her if Simon extracted it from the other side. Blood had soaked her dress, so Simon had whisked it out from under her. All that covered her from the waist down were a pair of black lace panties and the toweling he had used to cover her other thigh, but got pressed into service when he needed something to mop up the blood. She flexed her toes to see if it would hurt, and was surprised when it didn’t. She flexed them again, wiggled them, and then realized that she was looking at the wrong foot. She tried again, with the leg that had been shot, and barely bit back an undignified groan. Not that there was much dignity to be had, splayed out and bloody in half a dress and a thong. “How’re we doing, Doc?” Inara jumped at Mal’s voice, hissing as the movement shot pains down her leg. She moved to cover herself, but Mal wasn’t coming in. He stood just outside, determinedly facing the opposite wall. “Give me a minute to find some bandages and wrap her up, then I’ll help her get ready for visitors.” He looked at Inara for a moment, then turned back to Mal. “Have River or Kaylee fetch her some sort of top and a robe, would you? Something pretty. And get Kaylee in here to tape up the lights again.” He resumed digging through boxes as Mal left, presumably to relay his requests. “Unfortunately, you won’t be able to walk again for a few days. I know it’s not the most pleasant of concepts, but I can’t risk you tearing the stitching I’ve put in, and maybe doing some more serious damage.” He stood up, bandages finally in hand. “What idiot packages bandages with antihistamines?” He motioned for her to raise her knee and she did, wincing. As he began wrapping bandages around her thigh, she stopped him with a hand on his wrist. “Thank you, Simon.” He nodded and resumed his task as soon as she let go. “Uh, I… There should be minimal scarring; I’ve done what I can but there will be a mark. The rifle was small-caliber, so the extraction wasn’t difficult, but the entry wound got torn when you ran.” He finished bandaging her and began placing the clasps that would hold the wrap in place. Inara couldn’t help but laugh, softly. “You don’t get thanked often, do you?” She gestured around the infirmary. “How often have you saved our lives? Thank you for them, as well.” She was surprised when he looked almost angry. “A lot of those times, the injury was my fault in the first place. I save them, they help me save River. That’s enough.” She nodded, admitting his point, but continued. “Thank you just the same.” This time he smiled, just a little. “You’re welcome.” ))) They were sitting around the kitchen table, debating which contact they should use to fence the jewels – not that they had many left besides Badger, but he wasn’t a popular choice – and whether everyone should have a piece to keep. River had already chosen: a sleek, simple tiara studded with tiny diamonds perched in front of the upsweep of her hair. The hair was pinned in place with a chopstick, but she still felt like a princess. Kaylee, beside her, was grinning wildly, flashing a silver chain bracelet with a tiny flower-shaped pendant. “It’s harder to fence the more recognizable pieces; mostly they get separated into metal and stone, and each are sold separately. So pick something with smaller stones, or something unique – the people who can afford to buy things like this might well be in contact with those from whom they were originally stolen.” Simon dispensed advice casually, like it wasn’t completely bizarre for a Core-trained trauma surgeon on the lam to be well versed in the art of fencing jewelry. What was even stranger, Inara thought, was that the rest of the crew was taking it in stride. She had badgered Mal for over an hour, and Simon after him, before the men had agreed to help her up the stairs to join the crew for dinner. Eventually, Jayne had settled it by sauntering in, leaning against the wall, and offering to carry her again. That he said it with a leer did nothing to lessen her gratitude, and she was fairly sure that it was a token leer, besides. His hands hadn’t even wandered. And now she was picking through her end of the pile of stolen diamonds, looking for something simple and elegant enough that she could wear it in public, with stones small enough that the crew wouldn’t mind the loss. Not, she felt, that they didn’t have a large enough take to cover their fees for some time. Her own cut of the proceeds might well outweigh a year’s income as a Companion! She settled on a silver comb, studded with tiny starbursts of diamonds, wondering that she did not feel guilty for profiting from crime. Mal’s own hands were busy sifting through the mass of jewelry, searching for something that suited. Not for himself, but for… his eyes strayed to Inara, and he quashed that thought. He felt it strangely easier to put it aside, though, than he might have the year before. He saw Simon furtively pocket something, and his eyes widened, but the boy’s hands didn’t stray back to the stash. Hmm. Looking around the table, he watched Zoe pull a slim silver chain from the pile, disentangle it from something else, and then her eyes lit. She set aside the chain and drew out a silver torque, a square diamond in a heavy silver pendant sliding along its length. Simple, strong, beautiful. Mal remembered seeing… ah! The silver wrist-cuff was wrought in the same style as the torque. Might even be part of a set. He’d save it for her birthday, or Christmas, or next Tuesday… whenever. Jayne wasn’t much for judging pretties, he thought, but there sure were some nice ones. He kept reaching for heavy pieces with big rocks that he was sure were worth lots of cash, but his fingers avoided his brain and landed over and over again on a pair of earrings, hooked together, with dangling diamond flowers. Without further thought he grabbed them up, clomped around the table, and dropped them in front of Kaylee. “’Cause you had to work while we was playin’.” He settled back into his chair before a word was said. He was staring at his belt-buckle, wondering what had come over him, when River patted him on the arm. He looked up at her, grinnin’ like the moonbrain she was, and he just had to smile back. When Kaylee, overcoming her shock, dashed around the table to press a kiss to his cheek, he started grinnin’ just as wide. Checking the rest of the table for a reaction, he saw Inara’s blatantly shocked stare, Simon’s calculating gaze, Zoe’s speculative expression, and Mal’s slow smile. Mal’s what? He did a double-take, and sure enough, Mal was grinnin’ too. “Man has the right of it, li’l Kaylee. All work and no play deserves something fun, no?” Mal got up and went over to the cabinets over the stove, where Kaylee certainly wasn’t likely to look, and took down a brown paper bag. He held it out, looking rather sheepish. “I never thought to be outdone by Jayne, but there’s a first time for everything.” Jayne growled. Kaylee opened the bag and squealed, pulling out a strawberry. Zoe started laughing, reaching under her chair to pull out her own brown bag. “These are from Inara and I,” she laughed. “We picked them up while you and Simon were…occupied.” The two women exchanged a grin. Kaylee ran from one person to another, hugging everyone she could reach. By the time she returned to her seat, River was tapping her glass for attention. “I, too, got you something.” When all eyes turned to her in anticipation. “But I don’t know if this is the appropriate arena for such a present.” Her grin was wicked. “Aw, c’mon, River!” Kaylee squeaked, bouncing in her chair. “I suppose, if I must,” River sighed dramatically, then grinned. “It’s under your chair.” Kayle squeaked again and wrapped herself sideways around her seat, grabbing for her gift. Inara laughed to see her take such unabashed delight in the reception of presents. When she emerged from her tangle with Simon’s legs holding yet another small brown paper bag, however, everyone turned back to River in confusion. “Open it, silly!” She cried, giggling. Simon sucked in his breath as Kaylee reached in and pulled out… a strap. Thin and pink and silky, and what followed was thinner and pinker and silkier still. The little scrap of a teddy hung suspended from Kaylee’s fingers for a moment before she yelped and shoved it back in the bag, scrunching the bag down under the table like she had done something naughty. Her ears flamed, but neither she nor Simon could stop their grins. “Where in the nine hells did you get that little piece of frippery?” Mal asked, half amused, half uncomfortable, all curious. “You and Jayne took for-ever to get ready for dinner,” this made everyone laugh except Jayne, “so I just went down to the clothier’s by the bakery before I met you.” “I never even noticed you left the gorram room!” Jayne barked, as if his manly tracker status had been called into question. “Don’t worry, I was quiet.” She patted his arm again, and he started to chuckle. “Gorrammit, moonbrain, but you really are somethin’ else.” During this aside, Kaylee had turned to Simon with expectant eyes. “Well, I got you strawberries too,” he nodded towards the refrigeration unit, “and something else. I’ll give it to you later, okay, bao bei?” Kaylee just nodded happily, beaming at him and the rest of her strange little family. River’s matching smile, however, had Mal speculating on what, exactly, was the nature of the trinket Simon had stashed in his pocket. His own grin grew and he raised his waterglass to Simon in a silent toast.

Did you miss anything? Read: Head Trauma , Focus on the Fine Qualities of Dinosaurs, Translation, All Kinds of Brilliant