Broken souls dance like leaves on the wind, Waiting for sun to break out again, Out here in the dark we wait in shadows, Broken dreams, wrapped in our hands, Like streamers for the things that leave, And all we do is hold on tighter and tighter, Until the hopes we long for fly away, We search for answers we know we won’t find, And we dream the dreams that we know are too big, Because if we scale ourselves down to size, We lose ourselves in the chaos, We are the broken souls, Dancing to our funeral march….

River sat quietly, eying the rest of the crew, who were engaged in a game of hoopball. Even her brother was playing, and they seemed to have forgotten all about her. Even after Miranda, they were just too used to having her slip about quietly that most of the time they still forgot about her. She had a sudden image of her dead, sitting there quietly at the table in the kitchen, and no one noticing… She screamed softly to herself, but not loud enough to catch anyone’s attention. “Can’t think, can’t think, no, please,” she begged to whatever god might be listening at the moment to make the image go away. “I don’t want to melt away anymore, I don’t want to fade into Serenity…” Her mumblings caught Kaylee’s attention, and she held up her hand. Everyone quieted, but River didn’t notice. She kept muttering to herself, and then she shot to her feet, surprising everyone. “Don’t you get it?” she screamed at them, holding her head in both hands. “Leave me alone in my sanity I fade into the darkness!” She stood silently, and trudged to the trunk that held her two swords. The only change after Miranda had been that weapons had become more readily available to her. She kicked it open and snatched up the two swords. “I’m going to go practice. You go play your silly games and leave me to my torment,” she growled, holding each weapon carefully. She clambered up to one of the walkways she was so fond of and began to calm, spinning and twirling the gleaming pieces of metal like a ballet. Jayne growled at the sight, and muttered a few words: “I’ll be in my bunk.”

Broken souls dance like leaves on the wind…..

Jayne came to find her before anyone else, mostly because he figured that if she got into a killing mood, he’d go first. “You would not. You aren’t a threat. Zoe and Mal would go first,” River informed him. She was curled up in Wash’s seat…The pilot’s seat, toying with the dinosaurs. “How ‘zactly is that supposed to be comfortin’?” he grumbled, sitting in the co-pilot’s chair. “It’s not. It’s merely a statement of the facts.” “Remind me to explain to you that retelling facts ain’t always the best course a action,” Jayne told her. “I’ll be sure to do that,” River said solemnly. “Why’dya go off like that before?” he asked her quietly. “Tired of being ignored. Since the day I came on board, I’ve been ignored. During my crazy moments, people ignored me. When I was sane, they played with me, for a while. But I’m a shadow in a valley of light,” whispered River, and she twisted to face Jayne. “Do you ignore me?” “You know when people ignore you, don’t you? Mindreadin’ genius an’ all.” “I know you don’t. You watch me when you think no one is looking. There are two reasons, but which one is greater?” River queried cryptically. “I’m scared you’re gonna rutting kill us all.” “I said two reasons. That’s one.” “I’m worried ‘bout you,” admitted the burly man. “Tell anyone I said that and…..” “Our little secret. We are to share a great many secrets, Jayne Cobb. Are you ready for the future?” “You just keep gettin’ crazier and crazier.” “That’s the common theory.” “Well, you know too many gorramn secrets about me. My turn,” he grinned evilly. “You tell me a secret.” “A secret of mine? Nobody ever cares about my secrets,” River blinked. “As long as I don’t kill anybody, no one cares what I think….A secret of mine….” She paused and examined the ceiling so far above her. “I once dreamed of you. You and I were kissing and then….before anything could happen, I woke up.” “Huh.” “You dream of me, don’t you? Memories of things you wished you had down, wishes for what might happen….I’m sleepy,” she mumbled and that made Jayne laugh a bit. “Go to sleep,” he told her, but she shook her head. “People are still up. Can’t sleep. Too many thoughts crowding on me….But it’s like that when they’re awake…..Why I stay around you sometimes, because you don’t have so many complex secrets. Your past isn’t full of confusion, hurt, pain, or loss. You just are. Can I sleep in your room?” “Wha-Uh, um, that ain’t a good idea,” stammered Jayne, and River’s lips curved softly. “Barrier. Nothing gets past you because you just don’t care. Safe. I’ll sleep on the floor,” she informed him. “No, you ain’t gonna do nothing!” he exclaimed. “Psychic, Jayne. Why fight what’s been decided? Searching for hope in the black,” River muttered, and Jayne sighed. Searching for hope in the black….

Simon glanced over his shoulder as Kaylee hesitantly stepped into the infirmary. He managed a weak smile and she made face. “What’s wrong?” she asked him. “My sister is…..Well, I think she’s right,” Simon replied. “We sometimes act like the poor girl doesn’t exist.” He turned to continue rummaging in a drawer, tossing various things on the counter. “Are you alright?” she asked. “I’ve been trying to fix what was wrong with her that I forgot about her….By the way, Kaylee, you’re going to need a check up before we hit Persephone,” Simon told her, and gave her a significant glance. “Simon, I’ve been thinkin’,” Kaylee said, and Simon whirled around wide-eyed. “What? What’s wrong?” “Don’t get worried or nothin’, I just wanted to tell you that maybe you would come with me to the junk yard on Persephone? I need some spare parts for the engine, and I don’t wanna go by myself. There’s been a crime spree, lotsa girls gettin’ killed late at night,” Kaylee shivered. “I was hearin’ about it on the Cortex, and the guy who did it’s been sending these weird letters, like he thinks he’s doin’ some sort of vigilante justice.” Simon smiled slightly at the bigger-than-normal words she used, but it was quickly replaced with a frown. “An’ they’re all addressed “Boss”. It’s really weird, so I need you with me.” Simon nodded, deep in thought. Her description of the serial killer had struck a memory, but he wasn’t sure what.

**

“Jack the Ripper,” River muttered. She and Jayne were sitting at the table in the kitchen, drinking whiskey and playing cards. “Who?” he grunted, studying his hand of cards. “Serial killer. From Earth-That-Was. Disappeared. Ancient evil, woken up,” River explained, but not very well. “Ugh, fold. Whaddya mean, woken up?” “It’s back for the Empress of the Light. The one who can kill it and end its suffering. It will want me to be its queen,” River told him matter-of-factly, taking her winnings. Jayne spit out his mouth of whiskey in a burst of spray, and River rolled her eyes in disgust. “You ain’t gonna be no one’s queen!” he protested. “That’s not true. I could be your queen, Jayne Cobb.” She tucked her winnings into a pocket of her skirt and flounced out of the room, Jayne torn between bewilderment and longing. But all of the sudden she was stomping back in. “Forgot my boots. Ruined my grand exit,” she snarled, and he laughed. “What’s gonna happen to all of us?” he asked her after a moment’s stillness. “Can’t tell you. Are you ready for the future, Jayne Cobb?”

Out here in the dark we wait in shadows….