Out here in the dark we wait in shadows…. Broken souls dance like leaves on the wind, Waiting for sun to break out again, Out here in the dark we wait in shadows, Broken dreams, wrapped in our hands, Like streamers for the things that leave, And all we do is hold on tighter and tighter, Until the hopes we long for fly away, We search for answers we know we won’t find, And we dream the dreams that we know are too big, Because if we scale ourselves down to size, We lose ourselves in the chaos, We are the broken souls, Dancing to our funeral march….

Mal walked into the kitchen in the morning to find his mercenary with a teenage girl curled up in the chair next to him, her head nestled against his shoulder. “To paraphrase him, that’s just downright unsettlin’,” muttered Mal. “Inevitable,” muttered River in her sleep, and Mal blinked. “Sir? Did I wake up in a parallel universe?” asked Zoe as she came in behind him. “I sure as hell hope so, Zoe, cuz otherwise I’m gonna be tossin’ somebody outta the airlock,” growled Mal. “It might be best to wait until after our meet with Badger to kill Jayne, sir,” Zoe said. “Fine. But he might still be takin’ a trip outta the airlock.” “I don’t see a problem with that,” agreed Zoe. “May I do the honors?” Mal nodded, and the ghost of a smile flickered across Zoe’s face. “JAYNE, SPACE MONKEYS HAVE STOLEN VERA!!!” she bellowed, and Jayne catapulted out of his sleep, River rousing blearily. “Wha-who-Aw, Mal, this ain’t what it looks like!” “Then what is it, Jayne? Cuz it looks pretty damn bad, seeing as it looks like you and River spent the night all cuddled up,” Mal snarled. River unwound her body gracefully to a standing position and gazed at him. “Calm down, please. Nothing happened….Nothing is what it looks like…..All yelling at me inside….Stoppit!” she cried, and Jayne took her arm and gently pushed her into a chair. “Breakfast, huh? Want some breakfast?” he asked her quietly, and she turned her sad, searching eyes on him, and relaxed a bit. “Yes, please,” she murmured, and Jayne rattled the pans around in the hope that Kaylee would come running to avert a disaster. Nobody wanted Jayne cooking, and he’d learned that pretending he was gonna cook was as good a way than any to make people cook for him. “No, no, no, no, no way, uh-uh!” Kaylee yelled as she came barreling into the room, and after giving River a sweet smile, yanked the pans away from Jayne with a clatter. Mal shook his head and went to check how much father they were from Persephone, Zoe following him, wearing a mirror expression of disgust. “She’s sad,” said River, gazing after Zoe. “Well, who wouldn’t be?” Kaylee pointed out. “Too sad. Afraid for her,” River insisted. “Yeah, me too,” agreed Jayne, and Kaylee glanced at him in surprise. “What?” “Kaylee, I’m hungry…,” moaned Simon from the doorway, and River looked at him with a disgusted expression. “You are a real monster in the morning,” River informed her older brother, and Jayne snickered, and River turned on him sharply. “You aren’t any better.” “Let’s not be mean now,” grunted Jayne, helping himself to the bowl of egg flavored protein Kaylee had dropped on the table. “Why not?” asked River, true curiosity coloring her voice. “It ain’t nice.” “You aren’t nice, and I like you well enough.” Simon choked on his bite of food, and Jayne reached over and thumped him roughly on the back. “That’s not the appropriate way to administer CPR,” River told him. “You need to use upward thrusts with the heel of your hand.” She demonstrated on Jayne, and he growled. “Sorry.” “Ain’t like it hurt or anything,” he protested. “When we land on Persephone, I want to go buy a new gun,” announced River, turning to Jayne. “You will take me to buy the gun?” “No way-,”spluttered Simon, but Jayne nodded his agreement, and Simon fell into a brooding silence. “Do you think the Cap’n and Zoe want breakfast?” asked Kaylee cheerily. “As a matter’o’fact, li’l Kaylee, we do,” Mal said, walking into the room. River looked at them all with a loving expression and retreated to her mind, smiling endearingly at Jayne as she dug into the crevices of her imagination to figure out how to deal with Jack the Ripper. Broken dreams, wrapped in our hands….

Zoe sat silently as the rest of them filtered out for their day of fun on Persephone. Mal was taking Jayne and River with him to Badger’s as soon as they were done with the gun shopping. Mal was letting Zoe stay on ship whenever they landed on a planet- mostly because Zoe couldn’t handle anybody but Serenity and her crew. Zoe sighed and wandered up to the bridge, trailing her hands lovingly over the small plastic dinosaurs. Sometimes if she listened hard enough, she could hear the ghost of Wash chuckling to himself as he cracked a joke, or pointing out the obvious as the voice of reason. Pausing at a stegosaurus, she picked it up carefully and fingered its spine. “Oh, baby, where are you?” she murmured, but there was no answer. There was never an answer.

Like streamers for the things that leave…

“This is a completely bad idea,” muttered Mal as he was dragged forcibly into the dress shop. “No, you need a new suit, especially if you’re going to try pulling off a high society job anytime soon,” Inara informed him. “There is no way I’m goin’ in there, ‘Nara, sorry, to disappoint you, but it ain’t gonna happen,” he told her, turning to walk away, but she caught him by the back of his shirt. “Mal, if you don’t do this I will never sleep with you again,” swore Inara. “You haven’t even slept with me yet!” he cried. “Fine. Then remind me not to,” snapped Inara. Inwardly, Mal groaned as he was dragged into the store, and was greeted by a face he thought he’d never see again. Fiery red hair framed a slender face, piercing blue eyes examining him. The woman glared at him imploringly-only she could manage that- and nodded almost imperceptibly to the man chatting up the sales lady. Inara opened her mouth to speak, but Mal squeezed her wrist in warning, and nodded to the woman. “Do I know you?” he asked, watching a flurry of emotions behind the woman’s eyes before she settled on excitement. “Malcolm Reynolds, I’m surprised you even remember me,” she laughed gaily. “Betcha don’t even remember my name!” “Did it start with an S? A Y, maybe? Or maybe it was a B…,” mused Mal, amused by the threatening look in Saffron’s eyes. “My name is Jolie, Malcolm, how could you forget?” she drawled. She had adapted an accent not unlike Jayne’s- a little more proper, but if Mal had been on Earth five hundred years ago, he would have said she sounded like a prim Southern lady. “Well, could I have a talk with you, Jolie?” Mal emphasized her name, and her eyes flinched. River had noticed back during the entire Lassiter scandal that if you looked deep into Saffron’s eyes, past the fact they were staring unwaveringly into yours, they showed what she was really thinking. You couldn’t tell if she was lying in the normal way- her eyes didn’t twitch and none of her body language gave it away. But if you looked into her eyes, looked for the emotion, you would find it. “Oh, of course! It’s been ages, Malcolm. Can I introduce you to my fiancé? Sweetie, this is Malcolm Reynolds. Malcolm, this is Harold Spencer,” Saffron smiled. “Excuse a moment, will you?” She practically dragged him and Inara out of the store. “Mal, you gotta get me outta here,” she scowled, dropping the accent. “Have you lost your mind?” demanded Inara hotly. “It isn’t your ship, now is it? Lock me in the cargo bay, I don’t care, I cannot marry that dupe,” Saffron growled, looking ferocious. “That’s a new one,” muttered Mal. “Alright, you better have a whole gorramn list of very compellin’ reasons why I should trust you after you’ve conned me-twice!” “’Cuz last time I didn’t even leave you to die- you were fine. You wouldn’t have lost anything, except maybe a few credits. See, I’m improving,” she offered desperately. “No, what I meant was why can’t ya marry him?” Mal smiled jovially. “It’s not him, it’s this damn place. You’ve heard about the murders?” Saffron asked. Mal nodded. “Well, I have a feeling whoever it is may not take a shining to me. So…I’ll even pay. My soon to be husband thinks nothing of the murders, insists I’ll be safe. The rich are so stupid.” “You’d pay? Paying…..as in paying passenger? Mal, could I talk to you?” Inara asked, yanking him down to whisper quickly in his ear. “Take her on, Mal. I may not like her, and she may be a snake, but she dresses and acts like the type of woman this killer is after. Besides, if she’s willing to pay, then you know it’s serious, and we could use the money to keep us from starving to death.” “Fine. Welcome aboard, YoSaffBridge. Be at the Eavesdown Docks before four and you can come, if you can pay,” Mal commanded her, and he saw the flash of relief in her eyes and she hurried back inside. “What do we do now?” Inara asked him, and he gave her a wicked glimpse of a grin. And all we do is hold on tighter and tighter….

River bounced merrily along beside Jayne, exclaiming over, not the pretty dresses like Kaylee, but the weaponry displayed in the windows. “Ooh, look at that one!” she exclaimed, pointing out a sleek red metal shotgun. “Flimsy. Break if you tried to club anybody with it,” Jayne pointed out gruffly. “I know. It’s beautiful, though,” murmured River wistfully. “Pick me out a good pistol?” “Come on,” he told her, dragging her into the small, dusty store. “No making faces,” she told him, and he grimaced. “What did I just say?” “Girl, you’re gonna make me a gorramn moon brain,” he muttered harshly. “Already are. Souls of Serenity are insane. No escaping it. Sanity is terrifying, anyways. If it comes for me, don’t let it take me,” River informed him matter-of-factly. “Yeah, yeah, I won’t,” he mumbled, studying the rack of pistols before him. After a moment, he deftly plucked one off the rack and showed it to River. “Lookit this one.” “It’s pretty, too. It’ll save your life more than once,” she whispered, eying the gun. “My life?” “I want to be queen of something,” she crooned to the gun. Then she turned to Jayne and gazed at him sadly. “Don’t let the sanity take me away.” He nodded in understanding, even though he didn’t, and took the gun from her gently. As he went to pay for it, he could hear her babbling behind him. “Don’t let the sanity take me. Clouds your vision, lets you see there isn’t hope. Have to be insane to hope. Have to embrace the darkness to battle black.” “What ever you say, Crazy.”