Jayne the stripper [mini fic]
Sunday, September 23, 2012

He looked at her, "Ya mean did I get buck ass nekkid?"


"I worked as a gorram stripper for a while".

Everyone around the table on board 'Serenity' stopped dead. Wash had a loaded fork half-way to his mouth.

Mal spoke first, "The what now?"

"You ain't hearing me right? I worked as a stripper!"

Jayne returned to shovelling food into his mouth.

Wash put down his fork, "Where in the 'Verse would they hire you?"

Jayne waved his own fork, "Uh-uh. Ain't telling. Just that I made a pretty penny at it."

Zoe responded drily, "That must have been a pretty sight."

Jayne either didn't hear or ignored the irony, "Sure was. Got plenty muscles an' a purty enormous gun," he winked at Inara and Kaylee, "In case either of you ladies was interested."

Inara spoke, "The general received opinion is that it's not the size of the ... weapon but how you use it that counts."

Jayne grinned, "Cao, I know how ta use it! Let me in that bunk 'a yourn and I'll show ya!"

"You couldn't possibly afford me!"

Jayne leered, "By the time I got through the foreplay, you'd be offering me a freebie."

Mal slammed his hand on the table, "No servicing crew!"

Jayne grinned back at him, "Only coz you want 'nara fer yerself!"

There was a distinctly different and awkward silence this time.

River cocked her head on one side, "The size of the hands and feet are not a determinator in phallus measurements. However, the ape-man is right. His lingam is sizeable."

Jayne turned to her, "Hey! How d'you know that?!"

"I can kill you with my brain."

Jayne glowered and speared another potato, "Weird-ass mind reader!"

Kaylee grinned at him, "So Jayne. Didya do the full monty?"

He looked at her, "Ya mean did I get buck ass nekkid?"


"Course! Could give ya a private viewing in my bunk, later!"

Mal rose to his feet, "I said, no servicing crew!"

"We don't have ta touch. Sure li'l Kaylee can enjoy by jus' lookin'!"


Tuesday, September 25, 2012 12:56 PM


I'm surprised Jayne's dinner conversations haven't gotten him banned to bunk at meal time. Funny story...and kinda icky lol


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Jayne the stripper [mini fic]

He looked at her, "Ya mean did I get buck ass nekkid?"


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