OK this starts where The Surprise (http://www.fireflyfans.net/bluesun.aspx?bid=244)leaves off. Won't make sense unless you read it first. You know all the disclaimers and such. Hope you enjoy.

The Reaction (Part II of the The Surprise)

There was a sudden shocked silence in the cargo bay. Inara was the first to react. She turned dead white, gave Mal a look of utter pain, and ran to her shuttle. Wash broke the silence with a joke. No one laughed. "Dying," River exclaimed. Everybody jumped at that and turned to stare at her. Mary Jo started crying harder and Mal hugged her close.

Mal and Simon exchanged looks. Simon could see that Mal would appreciate it if he explained rather than making Mal do it. Well he was a doctor, he was used to giving people the bad news. "That’s right, River, Catie is dying. But I can make her more comfortable here. I need to get her to the infirmary though." On that note, he guided the stretcher to the infirmary.

Kaylee came up to Mal and put her hand on Mary Jo’s shoulder. "Honey, I’m Kaylee. I’m very pleased to make your acquaintance. Let me introduce you to everybody and take you around and show you the ship. Then we can settle you down in your own quarters. Captain, you want me to put her in the free room in the passenger dorm or the crew quarters?"

"She can choose, I don’t care which it is." Mal gave Kaylee a sort of a half smile, that being as much as he was capable of at that moment, and said, "Thank you for helping get her settled."

"No problem Cap’n. Anyways I’m sure you have something that needs doing." As she said that, she gave a pointed glance at Inara’s shuttle. Then she peeled Mary Jo out of Mal’s arms and took her over to where Jayne and the preacher were standing. Mal turned and headed for Inara’s shuttle.

For once Mal knocked. Somehow he didn’t think now would be the best time to just barge in. There was no answer, but she hadn’t told him to go away either. He took that as an invite and went into the shuttle. Inara was sprawled across the bed, crying her eyes out. Mal stood there for a minute. He’d realized how she felt after the incident with Nandi and when he talked her around to staying, there had been an implicit agreement not to discuss it again. But now it had to be discussed and he wasn’t sure just what to say.

Mal sat on the bed next to Inara and put his hand on her shoulder. "Nara, I’m sorry," he said quietly.

She turned to look at him, tears streaming down her face. She didn’t look very elegant now, just very human. Mal decided he preferred the human Inara to the Companion fakery even if she was crying. At least he knew it was an honest emotion. He pulled her into his arms and just held her, stroking her hair. They stayed like that for maybe ten minutes.

When her crying eased off, he said, "You want to hear the whole story now?" She didn’t speak or look up, but he felt a small nod. So he explained the whole stupid story. How he didn’t know he was a father and that Catie was dying and Simon could give her better care than the gorram bastard she was married to. And Mary Jo didn’t have anyone else except a grandfather who hated her and an abusive stepfather. And what else was he supposed to do but take them in? And how the hell was he gonna take care of a teenage girl, what did he know about being a father anyway? He’d meant to make it just a quiet explanation, but all the shocks and frustrations of the day came pouring out with his words. And suddenly their roles were reversed as Mal became the one who needed any comfort Inara could supply.

Inara had felt his care and concern for her when she was crying in his arms. Even then there had been some underlying feelings, but they were too well hidden for her to identify. Well, now she felt them now, full force. She felt his pain and grief for Catie, his shock at being a father, his anger at the way Catie and Mary Jo had been treated, and his fear? All the horrible things she’d seen Mal face unflinchingly and he was afraid of being a father to a teenage girl? But the real questions that Inara had, he had avoided answering. Just how did he feel about Catie, the woman who was mother to his child. She knew he felt grief, but did he see her just as an old friend or was he in love with her. For that matter had he been in love with her back then or was this a casual relationship? But she had too much pride to ask if he didn’t tell her without prompting. Or maybe she just didn’t have enough courage.

She snuggled closer, knowing that her physical closeness was the best thing for Mal right at this moment. The thought that Mal might love someone else frightened her. It sounded cold, but how was she to compete with a dying woman? Tears welled up in her eyes again. No, gorram it, she was not going to cry again. She held him tighter, trying hard for her usual control.

"Hey Inara, ease up a bit. You’re about to break my ribs."

"Sorry, Mal." Inara eased her death grip on Mal’s ribs. "You’ve had a bad day and I’m not making it any easier am I?"

"That’s OK ‘Nara. I knew it would hurt you, but I had to do it anyway. You see that don’t you?"

"I do and I’m not hurt now that I know the whole story. It was just the story I made up in my mind when I saw you with them that hurt me. I thought…"

"You thought what, Inara?"

"It’s silly."

"Inara."

"I thought that you knew where they were all long and we came here to pick them up and that you were planning to marry Catie. And that you love her more than me or because I wasn’t good enough for you because I’m a Companion and I can’t give you what you want." Inara’s words came out in a rush as if she couldn’t hold them back once she started. Inara and Mal stared at each other, both a little surprised by the raw honesty of her words. Of all the women in the ‘verse, Inara was the very last one Mal would have suspected of being insecure. She didn’t think she was good enough for him? He wasn’t sure he could even wrap his mind around that idea. How could she not know how he felt about her. "Well, because you never told her, you idiot," a little voice said in his brain.

"Inara I lo…" She put her finger to his lips to stop his words.

"Mal, please don’t say it. It doesn’t change anything and I just can’t deal with you saying that right now." She looked up at him; her eyes bright with tears again. He was going to tell her he loved Catie, she just knew it. No, she just couldn’t bear to hear that.

Well she’d done it to him again. Let him get close and then shoved him away. Mal wasn’t sure how many more times he could take this. He backed away from her like she was a poisonous snake. "If that’s what you want." The tone was cold as Mal let his anger get the better of him. Then he stomped out of the shuttle.

"Oh gos-se!" Inara was furious with herself. "Gorram it, I’m trained to say the right thing. Why can’t I ever say the right thing to him? Liou coe shway duh biao-tze huh hoe-tze duh ur-tze."