Shooting Lessons

a Kaylee/Jane fic in response to the pathetic pleading of ‘a cry’

disclaimer: no. Just - no.

a/n: my first romance-y type thing. Attempting to fill the gap so woefully pointed out by jayne in his/her request for some waffy goodness.

She set the piece down and gently pushed it across the table, until it was resting within his grasp. He stretched out a hand to gently caress the hard, metal surface of the weapon. For Jayne, it wasn’t just a gun. It was a living organism, a unique and complicated system of interwoven parts with its own personality and style. Not that the mercenary would ever have thought to articulate his relationship to firearms in such a way. He simply knew, instinctually, down in his gut, who she was and what she desired every time he saw a new gun. He knew her name. ‘Sue,’ he called out gently to the pistol lying patiently on the table. He had not seen her before. Curiosity ripped him from his momentary reverie. How had a gun gotten aboard Serenity without his knowing about it? He knew every rifle, every sidearm, every gorram peashooter - any scrap of metal capable of inflicting pain and suffering that resided anywhere on the ship. Where had this one come from? Quizzically, he looked up at the woman seated opposite.

‘Where’d you get this?’ he asked.

‘Got it secondhand last stop we made. Teach me how to use it,’ Kaylee pleaded, stating her request as something between a question and a command. Her hands trembled slightly, and her eyes held a look that Jayne did not understand. Knowing what women were thinking had never been his strong point. He was better with guns. But, thick as he was, he knew there was something wrong in the way her soft brown irises seemed to dampen and mute the light that hit them, reflecting none of their usual shine. For some reason, he felt the impulse to reach out a hand and stroke her hair with a slow, calming motion.

Instead, he snorted, and gruffly replied, ‘What’d you be wanting to learn shootin for?’

‘Gotta learn to protect myself,’ Kaylee answered uncertainly. ‘Case... well, just in case. I’m tired of bein’ the one shot an’ tied up ‘an stuff.’

Jayne thought back on that bounty hunter, Jubal Early. He must have scared the girl worse than he had though. Instinctively, he gripped the edge of the table and squeezed with all of his might. If only he’d woken up. And then his memory wandered farther into the past, remembering the fed who’d shot Kaylee in the stomach. At least that time he’d had the satisfaction of throwing the bastard’s lifeless body out of the cargo hold to rot in the desert. The thought of anyone hurting the effervescent engineer brought an odd and unaccustomed tightness to his chest. But he had let it happen twice. And now here she was in front of him, the life of the ship, asking to learn how to kill a man. It was like a slap in the face, a silent reproach, accusing him of not being capable of keeping her from harm.

The pain was enormous and new, and he did not know what do do with it. So he lashed out at its petite source. ‘Woulda thought you’d be achin to get yourself shot again so you’d have an excuse to be all nekked in front of that lilly-footed doc.' Jayne regretted saying it as soon as it escaped his mouth.

He could see the tears welling up behind her eyes, but she didn’t budge. He had expected his comment to drive her away, but she stood her ground, determined. A wave of admiration for Kaylee swept over him as he reassessed the plucky mechanic. She was stronger than she looked. And she looked quite nice...

Jayne quickly shook off the thought, and sighed. ‘All right,’ he conceded. ‘But jus the basics. Don’t want you shootin too good, ‘case you ever get it in your head to aim at me.’ He picked up the pistol, drew himself out of his chair, and walked towards the door, indicating for the girl to follow him into the cargo bay where he had set up his weights and a makeshift firing range.

*****

Kaylee held the gun out square in front of herself in both hands, using her left to steady and support the other, just as Jayne had shown her. But somehow she couldn’t quite make herself stop shaking. She aimed as best she could at the paper target, and squeezed the trigger. She struggled against the recoil as he peered down the aisle to see where her shot had gone. She sighed in defeat when she saw that it had barely grazed the outer edge of the target.

‘Don’t fight with it,’ Jayne instructed from somewhere behind her. ‘You gotta work with her, smooth-like. A gun don’t like to be jerked about.’ Kaylee gave a small yip of surprise when she felt his arms come up around her from behind. Wrapping her arms in his larger frame, he placed his hands on top of hers, still holding the gun out to the front. She was acutely aware of his presence. His chest almost brushing her back, his breath gently rustling in her hair. she allowed him to take control as he guided her finger to the trigger and squeezed it closed in one fluid motion. The bullet sailed straight from the gun’s barrel into the center of the target.

Kaylee could feel the rightness of the shot, could feel Jayne’s perfect communion with the weapon, and knew that she would never be able to replicate it, no mater how long she practiced. She recalled the feeling of helplessness that had accompanied her encounter with Early, and the shock of the alliance bullet entering her body. She would never be able to protect herself from men such as these. She hated being so vulnerable. Some floodgate of emotion broke within her and she let out a wordless, anguished cry of anger and frustration. She let off several shots in quick succession, seeking an outlet for the raw pain she felt deep in the pit of her stomach. The sudden rush of adrenaline left her as quickly as it had come, Kaylee leaned back into Jayne’s chest, allowing his tall, muscular body to support her own spent frame, letting the gun slip from her hands as the tears began to fall.

She was surprised to feel Jayne’s arms tighten around her waist. This was not a reaction she ever would have predicted. When he began to run one hand through her hair, she was amazed. When he bent down and whispered ‘I’m sorry,’ into her ear, she turned around in wonder.

Looking up into his eyes Kaylee was once again acutely aware of how close together they were. She noted idly that at this proximity Jayne’s features looked softer than normal. Like a giant teddy-bear. ‘What you got to be sorry for?’ she whispered. ‘Ain’t your fault I’m too weak ta look after myself.’

*****

It was a full minute before Jayne was able to speak. Weak? Is that what she though? Gorramit, weren’t her responsibility to do the fightin. It was his. He was the one who had failed. She did her job with amazing strength. Hell, he’d seen her crawl under a booby trapped hull to remove a reaver bomb and never even break a sweat. Weak? he couldn’t let her think that.

‘Y’ ain’t weak, girl,’ was all he finally managed to get out. he couldn’t stand that look of despair on her face. He brought his hand down to rub her back in comforting circles, and tried desperately to remember what his ma used to do when he’d had a nightmare. This wasn’t his strong point, gorramit.

Suddenly it was too much, and he roughly pushed her away and nervously scratched the back of his neck. ‘Aww, hell.’ He said, staring concertedly at a point on the floor about a yard in front of his feet. ‘ I got things to do. Besides, I ain’t exactly the sentimental type. Wouldn’t you rather be sharin’ this mushy moment with Simon?’

‘No.’

Some of the fire returned to her eyes, and he recognized the same resolve she had shown when she had first asked him to teach her to use a gun. It was incredibly sexy. In a moment he had pulled her back into his arms, and was pressing his lips down upon hers in a passionate kiss. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said as he broke away for a breath. He planted a kiss on her neck ‘I’m sorry,’ one on her shoulder, ‘I’m sorry,’ and finally back to her lips. ‘so sorry. I should have protected you. Should have kept you safe.’

****

Kaylee had been so startled that at first she couldn’t move. Couldn’t even think. Then she pulled away and tilted her head up so that she could look at his face. He was sorry? How could that be? But she knew it was true. She saw the guilt as it swept over his features. And he had kissed her. And... she had liked it.

Suddenly worried that he would escape, or revert to the old, gruff, thoughtless Jayne, she grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him back into a lingering kiss. Her hands slid around to his neck as she endeavored to draw him in closer, and he needed no further invitation. His hands roamed down to her hips, and finding the bottom hem of her shirt, back up her skin until they found her rounded breasts. Her knees gave way as he began to knead the tender mounds of flesh, and she collapsed, pulling him down to the floor with her. Arms and legs intertwined, and for a while, everything was forgotten but skin and heat.

****

At some point during the night, Jayne had picked her up and carried her back to his bunk. He lay there now, spooned protectively close to her body. he did not know whether this had been a romp for her, or if it was more lasting, but he did know that he would never let anything hurt her ever again. With that thought, he pulled her in so that no spaced remained between their frames, and fell asleep.

****

Kaylee smiled when she felt his muscular arms tighten around her. For the moment she set aside her queries about his motives (lust? guilt? .... .... love?) and simply reveled in the security that radiated from him like warmth. For now, she was safe.