Slim as Dimes, Part 3 By belasera NC-17…ish

Oh, the things you hear in a cracked spaceship…I’m going back to my first love, Jayne/Kaylee, with a smattering of Simon for good luck. Spoilers for the BDM!

A vague disclaimer is nobody’s friend. All recognizable characters belong not to me, but to Joss Whedon and the darlings over at Universal. No money made, no harm meant.

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Jayne was usually gone from his bunk before her in the morning. But when she woke she heard him, running water and hummin’ a bit as he shaved, she could tell that’s what he was doin’. If she was crazy she’d have thumped the wall, told him not to, told him she liked him scruffy. But Kaylee wasn’t crazy, wasn’t ‘bout to invite the sort of trouble came with sayin’ things like that to a man ain’t your’n. And Jayne wasn’t. Wasn’t nothin’ but a hot honeyed voice behind a wall, much as he rumbled ‘bout comin’ over to her, that wasn’t what this thing was. Couldn’t be, not whiles she had a good man lovin’ her wholesome and to her face. Kaylee couldn’t think how he’d look on her if he knew, ‘bout what she did with Jayne, how hot it made her to be so secret and raw with him. She’d just die of shame if Simon could see her there in the morning, lookin’ like a girl’d been sexed throughout the whole night, and now was dozing in her bunk and listening to her lover wash up. That’s what she was like, only a normal girl wouldn’t be listening through a bulkhead. Normal girl wouldn’t dread seein’ her boyfriend, either, but that’s what Kaylee was doin’. Even thinkin’ of Simon as her boyfriend was getting’ absurd, she didn’t even know why she’d thought there was space for thing like that on Serenity neither. Simon was so…so…tight, so closed even when he was smilin’ right at her. Was like he was waitin’ for somethin’, like he was passin’ time until he could be himself again. Or maybe that’s just how she felt, like they was playin’ at somethin’ just to see if they could. Thing couldn’t drag on for no ever more, only seemed Simon would never be the one to stop it. Took him so goramn long to start, and the thought of screeching along forever like this, like an engine bout to rust to pieces that just kept going…thought of it made her want to scream out. She didn’t. Jayne was teaching her how to be quiet, and how not. She could keen as long as she wanted and he’d just take it all in, pull it out of her just by hearin’ it, leave her quiet and clean for Simon. ……………………………………………………………………………………………. They did jobs. Kaylee liked the crime bit of their life more’n anyone wanted to know it so she kept it to herself, but they did jobs and Kaylee always came through, always earned her share. River, too, earned more’n her share but never even looked at the money, of course. “Like it’s a thing don’t matter, like it don’t feed her mouth.” Kaylee cursed the anger she felt, just for a minute, ‘cause it wasn’t for River at all but for Simon, who still couldn’t seem to acknowledge the way their lives really were. She hated to think mean on River though, and not only because her friend was sure to know. River never gave an indication of it, never stopped bein’ anything but a friend, though she must have known…everything. She only once looked at Kaylee like it hurt her, only once and she said to her then, “He did try. And he’s sorry, too.” Kaylee just nodded, let herself cry just for a minute like a real girl losing her first love. It was over with Simon, though it wasn’t yet said by either of them. They just stopped kissin’ one day, stopped saving seats at mealtimes, stopped coming by the infirmary or the engine room. Wasn’t even angry so much as sad. The others didn’t notice, they didn’t fight or cry, they still talked like two people with no hurt between them. But it was there. Kaylee needed him to know that it was there, that she’d cried for him, that she would never stop being his friend as long as he’d have her. That she wasn’t in love with him. Thing needed said. Kaylee let silence wrap her up, silence with Simon, silence with Jayne. Wasn’t no moaning through the crack for near two weeks when he found her, came to her in the engine room and made their thing real. He just stood in the doorway, waited for her to invite him in, and she smiled when she did. “You’ve been real quiet. We all through, then?” Not angry, not hurt, just wantin’ to know. What surprised Kaylee was how easy it was to answer, to be truthsome and frank as a handshake when she did. “It’s tricksome, Jayne. I don’t want to be doin’ whatever it is we do until I work things out with Simon. ‘Cause it don’t matter what you say, it is cheatin’ til I break it off with him. Cheatin’ on both o’ you.” Jayne smirked right up to his eyes. “You don’t need to be finishin’ with him on my account, ya know. Thought you was meaning to have us both. I didn’t reckon t’was one or the other for you.” “Yeah, it is.” Jayne paused, squinted his eyes at her like she might be foolin’. “That’s weird. We don’t have to be touchin’ or nothin’, could be just like before.” She smacked his stomach with the back of her hand, hard enough to knock a grunt out of the man. “You have mean little morals Jayne! It can’t be as before until I’m just me again, til there’s no more me and Simon.” She hadn’t expected him to come any closer, suck the air out of the room and replace it with his smell as he leaned into her. “Then would you break his goramn heart already?” He stepped in, til their bellies were brushing. “’Cause I don’t even want it to be as before.” He looked her in the eye and made his meaning clear, ran one hand up her side and around to cup her breast through her coveralls. Shoved them aside roughly and tweaked her nipple under her cotton shirt until she inhaled all shaky like she had tacks in her lungs. “Next time you see me, I’ll be comin’ down your ladder. If’n that ain’t what you want…” He took his hand off her breast, ran it over her hair and let his eyes go wide. “Lock your door.”