Sunday, January 15, 2006

Post-BDM...Zoe and Jayne are kidnapped. Contains non-com.(That means rape!! Don't read if that is going to bother you!)


It was supposed to be a milk run. Captain decided that he would only take River with him when he went to meet the contact. Her psychic abilities would give them an edge and free up Jayne to accompany the heavily pregnant Zoë to shop while Kaylee and Simon stayed behind on Serenity to repair the engine. Jayne had grumbled about having to go with Zoë shopping, but Mal had just given him a look that said, I will shoot you. So Jayne had gone and that’s where the trouble started.

Jayne and Zoë where in the shopping district. Zoë didn’t like having her pregnancy keeping her from doing things, she was stubborn about that, so Simon said as long as she didn’t over due it, she could go into town and walk around. He drew the line at going out on jobs, and Mal backed him up on that.

At the moment, Zoë was looking at baby clothes, and Jayne was keeping an eye on the crowd that jostled them on all sides. He didn’t know how he missed seeing the men who surrounded them, but he noticed the moment he felt a gun barrel in his side. He also noticed a gun pressed against Zoë’s belly endangering the unborn child within. For that reason Jayne gave up without a fight, allowing the men to slowly herd them away from the marketplace and into an alleyway where they were both disarmed.

The men turned out to be eight in number and where hoping to use Zoë and Jayne as leverage to make the captain fork over the cargo. They led Jayne and Zoë away from the alley and into a dank warehouse. Once inside the warehouse the two of them were locked in what appeared to be an old freezer unit that luckily wasn’t working.

Seeing that Zoë looked uncomfortable, Jayne laid his jacket on the ground and helped her to sit on it. She was reluctant at first. “I’m fine,” she insisted.

“Gorramit, Zoë, you’re eight and half months pregnant. I ‘member when my Ma was that far ‘long. So quit yer complain’n have seat.”

Zoë glared at Jayne but eventually took his help in sitting down on the heavy camouflage coat. Once Zoë was settled, Jayne searched through the room looking for a weapon or a way out.

He was interrupted when the door opened and one of the men came inside. Jayne stopped his inspection and glared over at the man who came in.

The man who entered leered at Zoë and motioned to her with his gun to get up.

“Where ya take’n her?” Jayne asked with a growl in his voice.

The man turned his gun on Jayne and said, “Going ter have a little fun before we contact yer captain.” The leer on his face left no doubt as to what Jayne meant. Zoë’s eyes got hard as rocks as he protectively cupped her belly with her hands.

“You idiot, look at ‘er.” Jayne said.

“So?” The man said, “Me and the boys ain’t picky. Make it easier to handle ‘er, is all.”

Jayne’ eyes widened. Despite what a lot of the people on Serenity thought, Jayne wasn’t stupid. He knew what would happen to the baby if the man took her out of the room. He looked over at Zoë, who had lost her husband, and had only the baby to keep her whole and sane. Jayne took a deep breath trying to stifle his fear and he turned to the man.

“Look, leave ‘er alone. She won’t be no fun. To much of a cold bitch, yer dick might freeze off.” Jayne said ignoring the scathing glare Zoë gave him.

“Yeah well that leaves you and we ain’t picky like I said.” The man told him directing the muzzle of his barrel toward Jayne and away from Zoë.

“Yeah well, you and yers ain’t man enough for that.” Jayne baited the man holding his attention and keeping it off of Zoë. He noticed out of the corner of his eye that Zoë was looking at him with shock.

“We’ll see about that,” the man snarled and motioned with his gun for Jayne to leave the freezer.

Jayne forced his feet to move taking him out of the relative safety of the freezer. He looked once more at the rounded belly that held Wash’ legacy and took a deep breath before exiting the makeshift cell. The door shut behind him with loud bang that made his heart jump.

One of the other men tied Jayne’s hands together, then pushed and pulled him to where the other six men waited. There was some initial complaints that it wasn’t Zoë they had brought out, but the men were drinking and their inhibitions slowly left them.

There was an empty crate that the men had been using as a table to play cards on. Jayne was pushed face down over the crate. He didn’t fight, one of the men was stationed with a gun close to the freezer prepared to shoot Zoë if Jayne fought.

Instead, Jayne closed his eyes and gritted his teeth as the first man unbuckled Jayne’s belt. He then unbuttoned and unzipped Jayne’s cargo pants and let them slide down to his knees and then pushed Jayne’s boxers down as well. Cold air hit Jayne’s bare skin and he fought a shiver.

The man who had pulled Jayne from the freezer went first. There was no preparation, no lubricant. The man shoved his cock deep into Jayne’s ass and began pumping away. The pain was bad, but Jayne refused to make a sound. Instead he concentrated on taking his mind far from his body, something mercs learned to do after being shot up all the time.

The other men laughed and egged the first man on, placing bets on how long the man would last. Eventually the man came, spilling his seed into Jayne’s torn body and relinquishing his place to the next man.

They weren’t content just to rape him. They also hit him across his back, or left handprint bruises around his waist. When all eight of them had their turn, the first man cut the ropes binding Jayne’s wrists and allowed Jayne to pull up his pants and boxer and secure them.

With the first man behind him holding a gun to his back, Jayne limped to the freezer and went inside when a second man opened it.

Upon entering, Jayne noticed that Zoë was breathing funny. The first mate looked up at Jayne’s entrance, and her eyes held sympathy and gratitude. There was also pain, and Jayne realized that Zoë had gone into labor noticing the wet spot on the floor.

“Ah shit, now ain’t the time.” Jayne said ignoring his own pain and kneeling down beside the first mate.

“Tell that to the baby.” Zoë said not unkindly.

“Ah hell, Zoë I ain’t the doc, I don’t know what to do.” Jayne said.

“Well, doc or no, this baby’s coming. Help me get my pants off.”

Normally Jayne would have made a crude remark or a joke, but Jayne didn’t feel like anything was even remotely funny. Instead he was quick to obey Zoë. He also helped her remove her own coat and used it to lay over her knees.

Zoë told him what to check for, and what to do and Jayne followed her instructions. Before Zoë began pushing, Jayne removed his soldier T-shirt and used it to catch the baby and wrap the little crying boy in its khaki folds. He didn’t have a knife to cut the umbilical cord, so he just laid the T-shirt wrapped baby on Zoë’s chest and then checked to make sure she wasn’t bleeding too bad.

At that moment, Jayne heard some gunshots outside the freezer and Jayne moved to place his body between mother and child and whatever might come through the door.

Jayne thought his knees would give out in relief when the door opened and Malcolm Reynold’s stepped through with River Tam right behind him.

The captain reholstered his gun and moved to be at Zoë’s side. He looked over at River, “Tell them we need a stretcher and get yer brother in here.”

River nodded and left the room. She returned a few minutes later with her brother and the stretcher. Simon cut the umbilical cord and delivered the afterbirth. He cleaned her up and stiched the torn vaginal area. Jayne and Mal then placed her on the stretcher and picked her up and carried her out of the freezer and past the eight men filled with bullet holes. Jayne felt satisfaction upon seeing them dead, and was surprised when Zoë reached up to grip Jayne’s wrist in a comforting grip.

Once inside the shuttle that was parked outside the warehouse, River sat down at the pilot’s seat and flew her back to Serenity.

In the shuttle, Jayne collapsed into a chair and laid his head back closing his eyes in misery.

“Doc, you need to check on Jayne.” Zoë said her tone brooking no argument from either the doctor or the mercenary.

Simon caught that tone and nodded moving away from Zoë to where Jayne sat. Simon used his instruments to check Jayne for concussion and then his blood pressure, frowning when he found it was a little low.

“Jayne are you bleeding?” Simon said looking over Jayne’s bare upper torso for injuries.

Jayne nodded, but said, “Aint’ nothing you can do ‘bout till we get to Serenity. I ain’t looking to strip down in front of everyone.”

Simon gave him an odd look. It only took a few minutes for River to fly them back to Serenity. They used the stretcher to take Zoë to the infirmary though she balked at being carried. Simon helped Mal carry her rather than allowing Jayne to do so. At Mal’s orders River headed toward the bridge, though she gave Jayne’s arm a comforting squeeze and whispered, “Thank you,” before heading doing so.

Jayne followed the stretcher to the infirmary. Inara and Kaylee had been waiting at the shuttle entrance and followed them down.

Zoë told Mal that he and Kaylee needed to leave and give her and Jayne privacy. The look in Zoë’s eyes told Mal he had better listen. He nodded at her, then with one last puzzled look at Jayne he herded Kaylee out of the infirmary and away from the passenger dorm.

Inara stayed to assist Simon, something she had been training to do the last few months ever since she had resigned from the Guild. She helped clean up the baby while Simon helped Jayne to lay down on the counter that they used for a second bed.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Simon asked though he had an idea already upon seeing the blood covering Jayne’s cargo pants.

Jayne didn’t answer, and Simon noticed he had lost consciousness. Simon was quick to insert an IV and start a blood transfusion using the stored blood from the fridge while Zoë answered, “He was raped.”

Inara gasped at that, but Simon just nodded and began to cut away Jayne’s cargo pants and boxers.

Sometime later, Simon finished stitching up the tears in Jayne’s rectum and inserted another IV with an antibiotic after covering the mercenary with a sheet up to his shoulder blades. Inara had cleaned up the sleeping mercenary of blood, semen and birthing fluids after having cleaned up the baby and Zoë. They left the infirmary to allow Jayne to sleep and Zoë to breastfeed her son.

Mal was waiting for them outside the passenger dorm.

“Can I go in now?” He asked Simon.

“Jayne’s asleep, try not to wake him. Zoë’s feeding the baby, but she said to come inside if you think you can handle that.” Simon answered.

“How are they?” Mal asked.

“The baby is fine. It’s a boy by the way. Healthy, seven pounds and five ounces. Zoë’s fine, she just needed a few stitches, not uncommon. There was no physical trauma to either her or the baby.” Simon answered.

“And Jayne?”

Simon hesitated, but knew that Mal would need to know. In a small ship that spent days in space far from any planet or space station, everything affected the entire crew. “He was apparently gang raped.” Simon answered finally.

Mal’s face held no expression. “He going to be alright?”

“He was bleeding badly from a few of the tears. I stitched him up and gave him some blood. The tears will heal in a few weeks. The stitches will dissolve on their own in a week. Physically he’ll be fine.” Simon answered.

Mal heard the rest of the unspoken words and nodded. He then left them behind to head to the passenger dorm and into the infirmary.

Zoë was still feeding the baby, and Mal walked over to her to look down at the Zoë’s and Wash’s son. “He looks just like him.” Mal said.

Zoë smiled, “He does.”

Mal glanced over at Jayne who was sleeping on his stomach, face turned towards them.

“What happened Zoë?” Mal asked.

“They wanted me, sir. They were planning to rape me, but he wouldn’t let them. That crazy hundan offered himself in my place.” Tears were forming in Zoë’s eyes.

Mal hugged Zoë’s to him, careful of the feeding baby at her breast.

She cried softly into his shirt, the fear and shock of the past few hours pouring out of her. She cried quietly, just as she always had. Crying for her baby, for her dead husband and for a mercenary who Mal would not have believe would sacrifice himself for anyone else.

When eventually, Zoë had cried herself out, and could concentrate on the baby in her arms, Mal gave her one last hug and then walked over to where the sleeping mercenary lay. He looked down at the man who had betrayed him once before and reached out with one hand placing it gently on the soft hair on Jayne’s head. A deep, fierce feeling of pride welled in his heart and Mal cupped Jayne’s head in his hand as he had once done to a young man who had died in the arms of an electronic love ‘bot helping to get a message through. He leaned down until his lips were mere inches from Jayne’s ear and whispered to the unconscious merc, “Thank you, Jayne, for their lives. You did good.” And he lightly kissed the merc’s temple as one would a son that a man could be proud of and then straightened to go find a doctor and a former Companion who could teach him how to help his mercenary through the days ahead.


Sunday, January 15, 2006 12:58 PM



Sunday, January 15, 2006 1:09 PM


If there is something like "Fanfic-snuff", I just read it.

It's way over the line and hardly bearable even for hardened readers.

Sunday, January 15, 2006 1:13 PM


You think this is bad? Are you talking about the content or the writing? Because if its content, this aint' hardly anything to my Reaver attack one. If its the writing, would like to have some constructive criticism.

Sunday, January 15, 2006 1:35 PM


It don't think it's bad. I think it's sick, deranged and disturbing. What do I care about the writing if I am about to vomit?

I put it simple: If you'll get raped someday, the laughing bystander would be me. Because that's the way you write, like you actually enjoy people getting raped. Is that constuctive enough for you?

Sunday, January 15, 2006 1:42 PM


I am with CBY

Sunday, January 15, 2006 2:09 PM


I bet he wrote this comment himself...

"non con" means sadistic crap, apparently. Total waste of talent and time.

So is life? Got raped recently?

Sunday, January 15, 2006 2:35 PM


"There was no preparation, no lubricant. The man shoved his cock deep into Jayne’s ass and began pumping away. The pain was bad, but Jayne refused to make a sound"

Yeah, funny fiction about raping. Why am I so grumpy? Hey, it's just good old raping. It's the most harmless thing on the world. A man gets raped by several men and it's described in every detail - what do I care? Stupid me.

Sunday, January 15, 2006 3:07 PM


I am with CBY. This was disturbing and twisted.

That said, you're perfectly entitled to write it. I have no problem with that.

However, it would be nice if you could put SOME sort of warning aside from "non-com" in the summery. So that people who can't handle reading graphic rape aren't ambushed unexpectedly. It is a very sensitive topic, as you can see, and should be treated as such.

On the side of constructive criticism... I think the story would have been better coming from an emotional standpoint, rather than describing the rape and Simon's treatment of Jayne in graphic detail. For example, writing Zoe listening from the other side of the door, trying not to picture what was happening to Jayne. To me, that woudl have been more powerful than reading <i>The man shoved his cock deep into Jayne’s ass and began pumping away. </i>

Additionally, you need to work on some basic grammer as well: do/due, where/were, etcetra

Sunday, January 15, 2006 5:03 PM


First, I didn't write the anonymous comment.

Second, I did warn. Non-com means rape. Also I did set the story as NC-17. I have no clue where that says that at, but I did fill in the blank for rating as NC-17.

Third: I am not a man, I am a woman. And yes rape is a very horrible thing that happens too dam much in this society and half the reason is because no one wants to talk about it. They want to ignore it hoping it will go away. But I am not getting into a discussion about that.

Fourth: the story is fiction. And like some writers of TV shows like L&O and NYPD Blue, and even Nip/Tuck I am using the non com as a plot point to bring shock value so that the recovery is more real. maybe it was too much for some, but I did warn. I think saying non-com is enough. You don't like the story fine, but don't frelling tell me that I should be raped so you can laugh about it. That is going a bit too far. You don't like the story, fine. I don't care. I have been writing fanfiction for over ten years. This is only my second fandom. And yes I wrote these kind of stories before, its called hurt/comfort. Its a popular plot.

To RinnyPJ: thank you for the constructive critcism. I will work on the grammer. Spell check doesn't catch those kind of words. I should i have re-read it before posting. As for the suggestion, it occurred to me, but I wasn't sure I could write Zoe. For me she is harder to write than River, lol, and that's saying something.

To anonymous: thanks for the comments. I am glad you liked the story and understood the full impact. I wanted to show that Jayne is a loyal crew member and not the very bad guy that alot of people think he is.

Sunday, January 15, 2006 5:18 PM


To Anonymous 2x2: Thank you for your support. I am not discouraged about writing. You should see the stuff I got from my Sentinel fanfic! LOL.

I am planning a sequel to the story. And hope to deal with the aftermath and the recovery.

Glad you understood what I was trying to do. Yes, probably the statement I used was a bit much, but like I said trying to go for brutality and shock value. May not work.

Trying to figure out though why the comments make this fic seem so unpopular but has already been read over a hundred times. Curious.

Thanks again.

Sunday, January 15, 2006 5:54 PM


I think the story's alright. A bit abrubt for my taste, but if you jump over to the Harry Potter Slash fandom, you'll find plenty worse, believe me! I don't understand the problem here...

Sure, it was twisted, cruel, unexpected. But didn't Joss Wheedon pull that shit when he killed Wash?

By the way, CBY? Your first comment? What's your definition of hardened readers? Does the fact that I was totally unpeturbed by this mean that I'm 'hardened'?

Again, not getting the crap that all you guys say is so very evident!

Stormwolfdawn, not bad writing, I agree that small technical grammatical things need to be seen to, but other than that, it's a good, although abrupt, yarn.

Sunday, January 15, 2006 6:22 PM



First off.....powerful stuff. Really powerful. Have to agree about the "show, don't tell" idea of having Zoe obsess over Jayne's sacrifice, but this was good quality fanfic.

That said, barely managed to get through it cuz I was getting a might squeamish. Read it to the end though because I thought it was an interesting plot idea.

Wanna see what you come up with next


Sunday, January 15, 2006 7:37 PM


Oh, Storm! This has SO MUCH good in it! You have great talent for story telling. The rape was horrifying, but well-told. Not rattled on for lacivious effect at all, just told starkly, and since it was our Jayne being so good and self-sacrificing, it played well.

I understand folks being het up about rape in our 'verse, but heck, anybody ever hear of Reavers? And anybody think that on backwater worlds there would'nt be people like these?

I adored Jayne putting his own bruised, bleeding and battered self between Zoe in the freezer afterwards. I loved Mal at the end talking to Jayne's passed out body, and how you compared Jayne to Mr. Universe dead in the arms of the love bot. Nice work, that. Any chance that Zoe might....hook up with Jayne? Ok, ok, I know it sounds weird, but...maybe? Also glad the babe looks like Wash. That's as it should be. Keep writing and be brave, Storm.

Fave line: "Jayne had grumbled about having to go with Zoë shopping, but Mal had just given him a look that said, I will shoot you. "

Sunday, January 15, 2006 8:05 PM


come on if you dont like what its about why did you read it, it does have a warning you know storms a goo writer wash has a point it is well written and this is life it happens get over it. Storm has amazing potental it hits the grim reality of life.

Monday, January 16, 2006 5:35 AM


It's the sort of thing Jayne might do to protect someone else; but I'd have thought he might try to fight his way out of there (unless that was impossible).

Zoe had a darn fast labour!


Monday, January 16, 2006 3:06 PM


Hi Storm,
I read your story last night, but was trying to get through some of my own writing and didn't have time to leave a comment--sorry. Anyway, I thought you pulled this off rather well, esp given the graphic nature. I don't think what Jayne did was out of character--he can be very self-sacrificing, and I can see him doing this for Zoe/Wash. I would agree with the comments about maybe showing more from Zoe's perspective and revealing more with feelings/thoughts than graphic detail, but that's your call of course. I also agree with 2X2's comments. 1. this is a work of fiction. 2. there are hundreds of writers on this site--no one is forcing people to read stories/authors they don't like. Writing is such a personal thing--I respect anyone who's brave enough to post here.


Monday, January 16, 2006 6:27 PM


Been thinking before I posted.
This is a particularly brutal story. I enjoyed it but I also felt that EVERYBODY was a little out of character.

Jayne would have kept their attackers busy as long as possible, by fighting back, keeping them guessing, playing them against each other.

Zoe was written all right, but I felt we could have seen a bit more of her emotions as she's going through this.Giving birth is traumatic. Giving birth locked in a freezer with a man who's just been raped and while captive to rapist-murderers is WAY traumatic!

Mal - Mal just doesn't DEAL. I don't see him speaking to Jayne or kissing his temple. Just maybe laying a hand on his shoulder. "Rest easy" or something like that. But nothing really heartfelt. That's not Mal.

Simon was very well written, but no doctor is going to stitch a woman up in an unsterile environment when they have the option of packing the wound and cleaning and treating it when they reach sterile invirons.

You might post this over at People over there are a bit more accepting of such ugly sorts of stories.

My suggestion would be to SLOW DOWN. Everything happens so fast, there's no grace, no emotion, no feel .

Instead of:
"At the moment, Zoë was looking at baby clothes, and Jayne was keeping an eye on the crowd that jostled them on all sides."

Why not, "Jayne was gettin' tired of shopping with Zoe. He was trying to watch their backs, and if she showed him one more little pink baby bonnet or ruffly sleeper set he was gonna drag her ass right back to Serenity, shopping or not!"

Tuesday, January 17, 2006 2:01 AM


i can't really comment on this because the things i usually say are encouraging. not that i mean to discourage you, just that this is a very dark fic and i feel odd saying that i ENJOYED reading about rape, i will say that you have a talent for writing and you are NOT sadistic. CBY's comments were crass and inappropriate. how would s/he feel if s/he were reading something and then were asked if s/he had been raped recently? for all s/he knows, someone on this site (god forbid) has been affected by this kind of trauma or knows someone who has. s/he may think s/he was being witty, but in truth it disgusted me. i look forward to reading more of your work, and even if it is dark, i won't be afraid to read and comment.

p.s. sincere apologies for any offence caused to anyone reading this comment and i don't mean to attack CBY, i just couldn't not react to those comments.


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