BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - ADVENTURE

WATCHHOWISOAR

“Wacky Fun!!” Part-2-“Died not dead”
Monday, January 30, 2006

wash wakes up in an Alliance Prison......after being brought back to life. Not Completed.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1583    RATING: 7    SERIES: FIREFLY

“Wacky Fun!!” part-2

The cage Wash is pacing back and forth. “I’m dead. No. died? Dead, died, dying. Its all the same. I gotta get out of here. After what they did to me I highly doubt there going to let me just walk out of here.” God, I feel like something from “Resident Evil”. He stops at the thought of that. Shakes his head and continues pacing. But checks his pulse…. “ just in case” he thought to him self. Only chance I have to escape is when they take me out of the cage. Whenever that is.If they brought me back, that means every one else must think I’m dead. Better yet KNOW I’m dead. So there’s help from them. He looks around, trying to find some clue to where he was. “If this is an Alliance facility, its gotta be one of the core planets. Since its most likely a secret facility. There’s only one planet I can think of. “Ariel.”

Back in the camp, Simon, Mal, Zoë are being held at gun point.Jayne walks in and points his gun behind what seems to be the shooters leader.Jayne looks at the man. “I wouldn’t get too carried away if I was you.” he put his gun down the rest follows. Simon is surprised at the turn of events “Who would have thought Jayne would EVER save the day.” everyone looks at Simon. The shooter to Mal “I take it YOU are the captain.” “why?” Mal says. “I’m sorry for extreme measures. But I had to make sure it was you.”the shooter replied. Mal looked at the man. "You said you had a job. you best tell us before we take our business elsewhere. Considering your not in any place to argue.” The shooter smiles “my name is Murray, and shooting me? Well that’s out of the question.”Murray said. “whys that?” Mal asked. “Because I know whereabouts of your little friend Wash. And believe me, it’s not six feet under.” said Murray.

Wash is sitting on the floor. Wash stands up when hears foots steps. “Easy now.” the voice says. “I’m here to help you.” Wash looks at him like he never heard a word he just said. “you know if your planning-----s-say what? Help me? Why?” the man says “Lets just say I have a little….score to settle so to speak.” he smiled. Wash gets a little worried “see that right there, that look. Really don’t like the look.” the man continues. “oh don’t worry, it has nothing to do with you.” “Really! Then why are you here?” Wash asked “ To help you get out.” the man said “And you would do that because….” the man smiles “Of the last confrontation we had. Having to do with one River and Simon Tam.” Wash looks at him. “I’m not going to tell you where they are if that’s what you mean.” “I’m going to get you out of here.” the man says. “What do you want from me? I don’t think your gonna break me outta here for free.” “I’m not.” Wash gives him an ‘I knew it’ look. “All I want from you is to not get caught. I think that’s more than fair.” “why should I trust you? You work for the Alliance, how do I know you won’t pretend to (Wash being him makes the bunny ears.) “catch” me? Turn me in and get the prize for your self? Better yet how do you know I won‘t.” “Because I want revenge, you want to get out. And it just so happens that you getting out, works for me. And for you trusting me, lets just say when I want some thing. I get it. And if I want you out. You’ll get out.” he starts to walk a way “my name is Victor, by the way. And you haven’t seen the last of me.” Wash looks slightly confused, not knowing what to do. I know I’m not the “fire fight” kinda person, I fly the ship for crying out loud! Always have an excuse for that, “Sorry! I must be on the wrong ship.” this may be my only chance to get out. Wash laughs to him self “if Zoë could see me now.”

COMMENTS

Tuesday, January 31, 2006 2:17 PM

SAMEERTIA


I love the idea behind this. Mostly because...well... I want Wash to be alive. :D
But can I make a tiny suggestion?
Find a beta reader. You have some very basic grammatical and spelling things that could really change the readability of this story.

In your conversations, for instance, you don't seperate their lines into different paragraphs. This makes it hard to know who's saying what.
Also, slow down the action. You have so much happening and don't really take the time to set the scene or describe it. It makes it hard for the reader to keep up.

Yay for getting Wash out! Soon, I hope?

Wednesday, February 1, 2006 4:16 PM

WATCHHOWISOAR


hi Anonymous, i changed it up a little
and more "he said, she said" to understand better. And hi SameErtiam, i changed the paragraphs up a bit most of the spelling (i blame my computer =)
and for the action? i'll see if i can make a change of pace. thanx a LOT and PLEASE feel free to add more comments. i will Listen and gladly make changes. =)




Saturday, April 1, 2006 6:46 PM

SHEPARDGHOST


I love the idea of this story. The end was great how he was talking about how he is the pilot.

Thursday, April 13, 2006 1:53 PM

WISHUPONAWASH


This story moves almost a little too quick. Would agree with the comments about spacing out speech. Put each new line of dialoge on a new line. Imagine your reading a book, and try and make yours look the same.

Other than that, top fanfic!


POST YOUR COMMENTS

You must log in to post comments.

YOUR OPTIONS

OTHER FANFICS BY AUTHOR

"The Way We Move." A Poem. part 5 in "Wacky Fun!!"
A poem on how Zoë feels about all this going on with wash, not knowing what to believe.
A/n: This just came to me as I was leaving for school. so sorry for the mispelled words. But I updated it so it should be better. Had to write this about Zoë. hope you like. ALL feed back welcome!! (note: if you did not read parts 1-4 this may be confuzing.) Thanx. -WHIS


"2 Lefts And Then A Right. Or Is That The Other Way Around?" Part. 4 In "Wacky Fun!!"
Wash is a the best of the best. can find his way, no matter what.So, when he's handed the map to the Alliance prison, getting out should be a cake walk........right?

A/N: REALLY sorry it took so long. Computer lost Internet connection the night I was going to post. Timeing huh? any ways i tried d-spacing this time good? bad? what do ya think? ALL feed back welcome. thanx! -WHIS


“Wacky Fun!” Part-3 “Help on the way
Wash wakes up in a Alliance prison.....after he was brought back to life. Not Completed.

“Wacky Fun!!” Part-2-“Died not dead”
wash wakes up in an Alliance Prison......after being brought back to life. Not Completed.

"Wacky Fun" Part-1 "WHAT did I do now!!!"
Wash wakes up in a Alliance prison.....after he was brought back to life. Not Completed.