A.N.: Just a quick thanks to Wanmei, who helped me iron out the wrinkles in the medical stuff! Love ya meimei!

Simon sat in a stiff chair at Kaylee’s side many hours later, very early in the morning. Kaylee still hadn't woken, and Simon was determined to be there when she woke up. The sight of her lifeless body, the angry red cuts all over her, the large stitched gash that was now starting to bruise around the edges; all of it made his heart ache so painfully he feared he would stop breathing. He was exhausted, the effort of pulling Kaylee out of the water, resuscitating her, carrying her halfway back and then stitching her up had drained his energy so completely that he felt his head drooping as he sat with her. But he refused to let himself sleep. He stood up as he felt his eyelids droop again, and stood at her side instead, gently stroking her forehead, staring at her closed eyes, willing them to open and relieve him of his worry. And his guilt. Simon didn't know which hurt more; physically seeing her like this, or knowing that it was his fault. If he had only been standing with her, he could have caught her. If he hadn't brought that stupid thermos of cocoa, he wouldn't have been putting it all back in his bag as she flounced away. If he hadn't let his attention turn from her for a minute like it had, none of this wouldn't have happened. Going back even more than that, Simon wondered why he couldn't have just taken her to a restaurant. Or to a movie. Or something else that was safe. Why did he have to be different and take her somewhere that could harm her like this?! Why had he let this happen?! Especially after they'd finally kissed, they'd finally had a few perfect hours with each other. Simon hadn't screwed up, Kaylee had been so happy... and then this. Sighing deeply, he sat back down, his head in his hands, bent forward with his elbows perched on his knees, his body practically radiating stress and guilt. He rubbed at his eyes, feeling sleep threaten to overtake him again. Deciding that checking her vitals would keep him awake, he set about doing just so. He took her temperature, and realized she was getting too warm. He carefully folded down the blankets and gently removed her outer sweater, carefully not to jar her head or hit any of her cuts. He tossed it aside once he'd gotten it off of her and pulled the blanket over her chest again. He took her blood pressure and was in the process of taking her pulse when Mal came in, looking somber. Simon watched the captain approach the bed, finishing counting Kaylee's pulse in his head as Mal looked down at his fallen mechanic. He waited until Simon had pulled his hand away from feeling her pulse before looking at him properly. The doctor's eyes were red rimmed, and there were purple bags starting to form under them. His skin was pale and he looked so exhausted that Mal thought he would pass out at any second. "Woah. Doctor... you need to get some rest." Mal said quietly, looking concerned. Simon squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before blinking and looking at Mal. "I'll be fine." he said dully, his voice laced with exhaustion and anxiety. Mal frowned at him but left it alone for now, looking down at Kaylee again and taking her hand. "How is she?" he asked, and Simon could hear the concern clearly evident in his voice. Simon sighed heavily, brushing hair out of Kaylee's eyes that had fallen there when he'd removed her sweater. "Well.. her pulse is thready and she'll be weak and in pain when she wakes up.... but she should be fine." he explained, trying to keep medical jargon to a minimum around the captain. He knew he didn’t understand it and it only annoyed him because of it. He sat back down at Kaylee's side, stroking her other hand and staring numbly into her face. There was a few moments of silence, in which Simon felt Mal's gaze flicker to him a few times, but Simon never looked up, kept his weary gaze on Kaylee at all times, willing her to wake up soon. "Simon.." Mal said the doctor's name carefully, almost gently. Simon looked up, slightly surprised. Mal rarely used his actual name, preferring to go with "doc" or "doctor" or any of a varied amount of cursed names. "Go rest. I'll watch over Kaylee." Simon looked away again, shaking his head. "Its fine, I'll be alri--" "No, you won't." said Mal firmly, staring at Simon with his no-nonsense look on his face. Simon looked up wearily, his eyes pleading Mal to give him a break. "Last thing I need is my only doctor dropping like a fly cause he's too tired to see straight." Mal told him in a commanding voice. When Simon didn't move, Mal changed tones, more firm and more authoritative. "Go to bed. That's an order. I'll watch over Kaylee and when Inara wakes up she can take over. GO." Mal raised his voice slightly, startling Simon. As much as he really didn't want to leave Kaylee's side, he knew Mal was right. Sighing, Simon got up and sat on the other infirmary cot. He caught Mal's eye to see the captain frowning at him. "What?" Simon asked, preparing to lie down, his hands groping for the blanket at his feet. "Not there." Mal said, indicating the cot. "I meant in your own room." "What?!" Simon exclaimed incredulously. "No way, I'm not leaving this infirmary." Simon stared at him defiantly as Mal stalked up to him, looking angry. "The hell you won't. Get the hell out of here and get yourself rested or I will get Jayne to remove you himself." Mal threatened seriously, staring into Simon's gaze. Simon regarded him with anger for a moment, trying to decide if it was an empty threat. Knowing that it wasn't, Simon thought it best to listen. Scowling at Mal, he hopped off the cot and stood beside the captain, looking up into the older man's face. "You tell me the second anything changes." Simon told him urgently. "The second the monitors change, the second she stirs... If anything changes, you come and you wake me." he demanded, half expecting Mal to yell at him for giving orders. But Mal nodded, and after a moment of staring into Mal's eyes to see if he was actually serious, Simon walked past him and up to Kaylee, bent over and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead, a soft brush of his lips, and headed to the door, shooting a last scowl back at Mal before leaving and finding his way to his room. Now that he was out of sight of the infirmary and Kaylee, he felt what little strength he had left leave him. He almost fell to the floor, but managed to get to his room. He was sweating, the cold from the lake having finally worn off, he managed to peel of his shirts and sweater, his chest glistening with sweat. He climbed up on his bed and before he could even lie down, he collapsed into sleep, his body falling to the mattress limply.

Kaylee skipped across the field towards him, wearing a flowing white dress with a long shawl, her hair down loose and flying freely behind her. He saw himself, dressed in a rich suit, his arms out, ready to catch her when she got to him. She was getting closer and closer, and just as she was close enough for him to snatch out of the air, she vanished. He whirled around in confusion, looking for her. "Kaylee!?" he called in alarm, not seeing her anywhere. He hurried off in one direction, and suddenly stopped short as he saw her lying on the ground. Not clad in white and looking blissfully happy like before, she was wearing a green satin shen-i, soaking wet and bloody. Simon gaped at her and then knelt at her side, feeling for a pulse. After a moment he still couldn't find one and tried the other side of her neck. Panicking when he didn't find one there either, he started doing CPR, desperately calling her name, tears of fear and remorse pouring down his face as she lay still, ashen faced and cold... "Simon..." he heard a female's voice calling to him. "Simon..."

"Simon!" Someone was shaking him. He woke with a startled gasp, breathing heavily and looking around blearily. He saw Inara standing beside him, felt her hands on his shoulders. He slumped back against his pillow, relieved it had only been a nightmare. "Are you okay?!" asked Inara, and Simon heard a touch of panic in her voice. He looked at her, his eyes feeling heavy. "Yeah... fine... just a nightmare.." he mumbled, fighting to sit up. Inara nodded, and after giving him a look of concern, she continued. "Kaylee's waking up. But I think something's wrong..." Inara sounded anxious, scared. Simon's sleepiness disappeared in an instant and he was out of bed and out the door without even thinking about it. Inara hurried after him, and they entered the infirmary to see Kaylee writhing on the cot, Mal looking grim and holding her arms down. Simon rushed up to her, not even feeling the chill of the air, not realizing he wasn’t wearing a shirt. He cupped her head in his hands, pulling back her eyelids and looking at her eyes. He was about to get a shot of something to calm her when her eyes sprang open. Nearly banging his head on the examination light above him, he quickly stood and hurried closer to her, leaning over her. "Kaylee?! Kaylee, can you hear me?!" he asked her firmly, seeing her eyes wandering all over the place, looking dazed, confused, lost. She gave a tiny nod, her eyes finally finding his face and he could tell she was struggling to concentrate, to focus on him. She gave a small moan of pain and he clutched her hand tightly, looking down at her intently. "Can you see okay?" he asked softly a moment later, after she blinked rapidly and finally seemed to focus. She nodded again, and glanced around at Mal and Inara, who had appeared at Simon's side. Kaylee had a mingled look of anguish and confusion in her eyes and Simon squeezed her hand, trying not to let his emotions overwhelm him. A moment later he was shocked as a wave of fear passed over Kaylee's face and she wrenched her hand from his grip. "Kaylee?! What's wrong, baobei!?" he asked urgently. She stared up at the three people standing over her, wide-eyed, and when she whispered, her voice was filled with fear and uncertainty. "Who are you?!"