Free Thread - Free Love - Join the Hippies, Man by Guywhowantsafireflyofhisown

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Free Thread - Free Love - Join the Hippies, Man

POSTED BY: GUYWHOWANTSAFIREFLYOFHISOWN
UPDATED: Monday, February 19, 2007 17:28
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Friday, February 16, 2007 7:51 AM

it's time to have some fun so, here I go:

Q: I'm considering interrogating a chimney but don't know where to start. Could you help me out please?
A: The best thing to do is bribe your chimney's portable charger.

Q: I can't stop Karate chopping myself with this damn answering machine!
A: There's a hidden poisonous sting somewhere on your answering machine. Find it and deactivate it with a new model beaker.

Q: I have started having things polarising my bullock. Do you have any ideas?
A: The best thing to do is establish a meaningful relationship with your bullock's locked compartment.

Q: There's a cheap and nasty toothbrush recording my doll's house. Is this normal?
A: There's a hidden breastplate somewhere on your doll's house. Find it and choose it with a type of duck.

Why is the rum always gone?

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Friday, February 16, 2007 8:49 AM

MSG

and I will add

Diary of a cat
Day 683 of My Captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I am fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of . However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. The audacity!!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies". I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow-but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released-and he seems more than willing to return! He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got be an informant- I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe-for now. But I can wait.

It is only a matter of time.

"I'm not all that interested in the mental health of people who want to kill me. "- Leroy Jethro Gibbs

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Friday, February 16, 2007 8:56 AM

DEADLOCKVICTIM

and giving equal time to all my canine friends:

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite
thing

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My
favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

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Friday, February 16, 2007 9:03 AM

DEADLOCKVICTIM

sorry Guy - you can't keep a good hippie down

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Friday, February 16, 2007 9:10 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Shortly after the beginning, Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me every day. Now, I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here, and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."
And God said, "Not a problem! I will create a companion for you that will be a reflection of my love for you. Regardless of how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam, and it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam, and he wagged his tail.
And Adam said, "But Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and all the good names are taken. I cannot think of a name for this new animal."
And God said, "Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him Dog." And it was so, and it was good.
And Dog lived with Adam, and was a companion to him, and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock, and believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but no one has taught him humility."
And the Lord said, "I will create for him a companion who will see him as he is, and will remind him of his limitations." And God created Cat to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was happy and wagged his tail.
And Adam was greatly improved.
And Cat did not care one way or the other.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

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Friday, February 16, 2007 9:38 AM

MSG

OK that is the best story PR:) HUGS

"I'm not all that interested in the mental health of people who want to kill me. "- Leroy Jethro Gibbs

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Friday, February 16, 2007 9:40 AM

DAYVE

...Dog is my Co-Pilot....

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Friday, February 16, 2007 9:56 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE

Don't be so tetchy, man. The hippies just wanna play.

Graphics available at www.desktophippie.com

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Friday, February 16, 2007 5:50 PM

PENGUIN

King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa

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Monday, February 19, 2007 4:44 PM

RMMC

*walks in wearing bell bottoms, a floffy top and lovebeads, with walkman listening to 'The Hippy-Hippy Shake' and sits quietly in the corner*

*****
RMMC

When we're down, don't frown. Come join the camp-out at serenitymovie.org.

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Monday, February 19, 2007 5:10 PM

TRISTAN

______________________________________
Commanding Officer of the 76th Independent Battalion.

More Information: http://76thbattalion.homestead.com/index.html

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Monday, February 19, 2007 5:28 PM

VETERAN

Don't squat with your spurs on.

"Old memories are coming back.... I used to have this thing".... rummages through an old tattered sack and pulls out a lava lamp.

"I think if we plug it end it will make cool patterns, or maybe we're suppose to light it on fire.... I forget."

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