The I am NOT a guy club! by ebonezer

ooooo, oooooo, pick me, pick me! *jumps up and down spastically*

in an effort to

my sixth grade PE class (kids are ruthless when it comes to dodgeball), ebo, please pick me first. i promise that my dodging skills have improved. demonstration? ok
*runs looking behind her, successfully dodging two cats, an old man, and a gang of squirrels....only to run directly into a tree*

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

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Thursday, May 27, 2004 7:18 PM

ZOID

ebonezer:

Ummm, if my screen name was 'Melissa', or 'Judy', or 'Tiffany', do you think folks might get the mistaken impression that I was a fem? Well, using that same logic, the name 'ebonezer'... quod erat demonstrandum. Perhaps 'ebonezer-ette'?

As far as the '...NOT a guy club' is concerned, to paraphrase Aesop: I don't want to be in your club; it's probably sour anyway. ;) You girls play nice, now. Just give a whistle when y'all need the lawn mowed or the toilet snaked, and one of us lowly guys'll come runnin'. We know you love us...

Devotedly,

zoid
_________________________________________________

"I'm telling you right now. When all's said and done, that little girl's gonna change the world. Not just this little bit she's done here, neither; big things. I couldn't be prouder if she was my own daughter."

- Malcolm Reynolds, owner-operator of Firefly-class transport, "Serenity"; from A Child Shall Lead Them: A History of the Second War of Independence Wilkins, Richard

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Thursday, May 27, 2004 7:18 PM

Oh wow, i get to pick who gets into the club?

NIFTY!

Sure KGB, join the club.

Now that was fun.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Thursday, May 27, 2004 7:22 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:

ebonezer:

Ummm, if my screen name was 'Melissa', or 'Judy', or 'Tiffany', do you think folks might get the mistaken impression that I was a fem? Well, using that same logic, the name 'ebonezer'... quod erat demonstrandum. Perhaps 'ebonezer-ette'?

Yeah..you're the second person who's told me i should do something like that. But i didn't want to. So its really my own fault.

Although, to semi-quote Joss, i did make a subtly brilliant signature. (So subtle in fact, that it cannot be detected by humains.)

See for yourself
|
|
|
V

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Thursday, May 27, 2004 7:23 PM

whew!

and though i don't know much about lawn or plumbing maintenance, i do have the ability to light pilot lights in stoves and ovens. (i once worked at a resort where i had to help a cabin of ladies light theirs, and i was having some trouble, and they kept insisting we needed a boy. but i'll be damned if i didn't get it lit. so, just pass me my hoop skirt and point me to the bedroom)

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

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Thursday, May 27, 2004 7:25 PM

*just kinds hangs out waiting for a plumbing emergency*

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
"Oh hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging
around playing art critic till I get pinched by
the Man, how's about we move away from this
eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our
increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"

My eerie-ass website:
http://gunhandsfirefly.homestead.com/Index.html

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Thursday, May 27, 2004 7:27 PM

I can drive a tractor! (were not talking a fancy tractor that does what its told, we're talking about evil tractors that don't start when you want them to, and like to pop out of gear and blow exhast in your face!)

Hmmm...I'm not really helping the "ebo is a girl" argument, am I.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Thursday, May 27, 2004 7:58 PM

just refuse to learn plumbing...its what are the girly-girls are doing nowadays.

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

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Thursday, May 27, 2004 8:00 PM

I refuse to learn cooking.

Although, i guess it beats crawing under a cupboard to have groady water drop on your forehead...

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Friday, May 28, 2004 2:49 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Gunhand:
*just kinds hangs out waiting for a plumbing emergency*

Not exactly a plumbing emergency, but I've got a bathroom infestation of ants you can help with if you want. I've laid down bug killing traps, but they just keep coming (and more or less ignoring the ant poison). I've taken to shooting individual ants with Windex, which kills them, but new ones just take their places. Any suggestions?

Delia

___________________________________________
ANYA: Don't be ridiculous. Martha Stewart isn't a demon. She's a witch.
XANDER: Please, she-- Really?
ANYA: Of course. Nobody could do that much decoupage without calling on the powers of darkness.

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Friday, May 28, 2004 2:55 AM

STATIC

Quote:
Originally posted by Delia:
Any suggestions?

RUN!!!!!

==================================================
"Wash. . .we got some local color happening. A grand entrance would not go amiss."

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Friday, May 28, 2004 3:02 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Static:
Originally posted by Delia:
Any suggestions?

RUN!!!!!

From ants? To where?

___________________________________________
ANYA: Don't be ridiculous. Martha Stewart isn't a demon. She's a witch.
XANDER: Please, she-- Really?
ANYA: Of course. Nobody could do that much decoupage without calling on the powers of darkness.

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Friday, May 28, 2004 3:22 AM

WREN

Quote:
Originally posted by Delia:
Quote:
Not exactly a plumbing emergency, but I've got a bathroom infestation of ants you can help with if you want. I've laid down bug killing traps, but they just keep coming (and more or less ignoring the ant poison). I've taken to shooting individual ants with Windex, which kills them, but new ones just take their places. Any suggestions?
.

Buy some translucent general purpose silicone sealant. On the inside, seal around the tops and bottoms of the skirting boards, at the points where pipes run into the wall and floor and any other cracks you can see in the walls and floor. Rather than go to the effort of pulling up the carpet/lino do the walls and pipes first, then wait a few days to see whether they are still getting in.

On the outside seal around the points where pipes run into the wall and ground. Check the grouting. If there are large chunks missing then regrout them (if your lazy like me then just fill them with the sealant) and seal any small cracks.

I had ants in my bathroom and this worked for me. The internal ant powders were useless and the outside powders had to be replaced everytime it rained.

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Friday, May 28, 2004 3:31 AM

Wren,

Thanks. I'll seal up what I can in the bathroom -- it's an apartment, so I don't have much control over the outside. But maybe sealing the cracks will be enough to encourage them to go infest some other person's bathroom.

Delia

___________________________________________
ANYA: Don't be ridiculous. Martha Stewart isn't a demon. She's a witch.
XANDER: Please, she-- Really?
ANYA: Of course. Nobody could do that much decoupage without calling on the powers of darkness.

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Friday, May 28, 2004 3:33 AM

FRED1988

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
I refuse to learn cooking.

Although, i guess it beats crawing under a cupboard to have groady water drop on your forehead...

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

I married someone who liked to cook. Saved me from a lifetime of pbj sandwiches.

I'll mess with plumbing, but not with electricity. That stuff can kill you.

All my life I wanted to be somebody. I guess I should have been more specific.

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Friday, May 28, 2004 3:50 AM

FRED1988

Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:

As far as the '...NOT a guy club' is concerned, to paraphrase Aesop: I don't want to be in your club; it's probably sour anyway. ;) You girls play nice, now. Just give a whistle when y'all need the lawn mowed or the toilet snaked, and one of us lowly guys'll come runnin'. We know you love us...

Devotedly,

zoid
_________________________________________________

"Men are only good for two things... and how important is parallel parking, anyway?" :wink

That, and getting rid of bugs with waaaaaay too many legs. Yeech. I'll mow my own lawn and fix my own toilet if someone else will deal with the creepy crawlies inside the house.

And the name "Fred" and I have a long and storied history that would change completely where the name to change to "Freda".

Ebo, since I'm another one who was mistaken for a guy, can I join?

All my life I wanted to be somebody. I guess I should have been more specific.

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Friday, May 28, 2004 5:17 AM

THATWEIRDGIRL

What do we do in a girls' club? Do we giggle about Mal and the boys?

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Friday, May 28, 2004 5:28 AM

ATHERTONWING

So really no chane of me getting laid if i join? at all? well i dont wanna play...stupid girls.

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Friday, May 28, 2004 6:06 AM

BADGERSHAT

If you gals should need someone to reach the light bulbs in the ceiling, give me a holler. I'm also good at re-shingling, painting, and basic dentistry...

--Jefé The Hat

***************************
"I like smackin 'em"--Jayne

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Friday, May 28, 2004 10:13 AM

MALICIOUS

Ebo,

I have decided to allow you to let me join this club. I have the proper parts, although I kinda have a guy-ish name. I can do lots of guy-y stuff, like mow the lawn and clean the pool. I'll kill any critters except spiders, 'cause they skeeve me out. The only thing I can't do is read a measuring tape properly. I say stuff like, "Ok, that's 3 inches and 2 little lines." My husband freaks out, because (what were the odds?) he is an actual carpenter. Also, I play backup rainstick in the Fireflies band. Also, I was the one who started the virtual shindig thread. I'll let you come to that, if you let me join the club. Whaddya say?

Mal-licious

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Friday, May 28, 2004 10:41 AM

BLACKSHAMROCK5

I wanna join. Me join now. Please? And thanks to all the guys for wanting to help out. I'm sure that bulbs will need to be put in at some point.

Shamrock

I'm so proud I could poo.

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Friday, May 28, 2004 10:58 AM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

I wish I had easy simple advice for the ant thing, aside from sealing all the cracks and gaps. I got rid Argentinian ants but used 'Chinese chalk' - not a smart thing.

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Friday, May 28, 2004 11:03 AM

AERONSTORM

I'm in!!!

Plus, I can fix cars!

As one of my 7th graders told me: "Boys are dumb - throw rocks at them."

Gotta love kids!

My other car is a Firefly.
(Mary's fantasy bumper sticker for her 95 Caravan)

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Friday, May 28, 2004 11:31 AM

KARENKAY99

i know i already have a girls name but can i join too?
i have roto rooter's phone number and i can change a light bulb (did it yesterday, i'm so proud).

"They say the snow on the roof is too heavy. They say the ceiling will cave in. His brains are in terrible danger."

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Friday, May 28, 2004 2:25 PM

Sure, all you peole can join.

As to the question what do we do in this club...well, um, i'll turn that question over to our PR people.

Edit: I've just been informed we don't have PR people...Sorry. I guess nobody quite knows what the point is...

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Friday, May 28, 2004 2:28 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Delia:
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunhand:
*just kinds hangs out waiting for a plumbing emergency*

Any suggestions?

Delia

Napalm.

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Friday, May 28, 2004 3:14 PM

Can I join? Take the "mom" out of my name, and everyone thinks I'm a fella. I did that on purpose. My e-mail address doesn't include the "mom" part, and I therefore get some solicitations for men. You know, enlarge your peanuts!

I don't know much about plumbing, and I often break household appliances (long stories), but I installed extra shelving in every closet at my house to increase storage space. Would that help out in the clubhouse?

I do feel guilty, leaving out all our wonderful fella friends. Cause now they're going to create their own club, and then both clubs will start to hurl insults, resulting in a riot. Hey, I'm on to something here!

Oh, wait, back on the guilt trip. My hubby just interrupted me with flowers! Everyone say Awwwwwwwwww!

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Friday, May 28, 2004 3:20 PM

ANNIK

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
Sure, all you peole can join.

As to the question what do we do in this club...well, um, i'll turn that question over to our PR people.

Edit: I've just been informed we don't have PR people...Sorry. I guess nobody quite knows what the point is...

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

Heck ... I'm a PR person ... on hiatus mostly at the moment (nothing to do with Fox, just the cancer stuff ... which, on second thought, perhaps actually *is* from Fox after all!

)

Let's see ... to do things the 'official' way we need to develop positioning and key messages. Are we a man-hatin' girls' club or are we a need-our-own-club-cuz-the-guys-already-got-sseveral? Or another take on this?

On another point entirely (PR people are prone to doing that, BTW ... changing the point of things

) ... I'm always nervous about your sig, Ebo ... I'd like to know why the dentists you visit are commenting on your gender in the first place? Sounds creepifying to me.

Cheers,
Annik
... my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood.

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Friday, May 28, 2004 3:31 PM

FILMGODDESS

I wanna join. Pick me. Pick me. And I think that the purpose of this club is to swoon over then men of Firefly. Damn they are hot. Oh and Girl power is a must!

"You can't take the sky from me."

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Friday, May 28, 2004 3:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gunhand:

Napalm.

Thanks, but won't that make it kind of difficult to brush my teeth? I'd very much like to still have a bathroom, just no ants.

___________________________________________
ANYA: Don't be ridiculous. Martha Stewart isn't a demon. She's a witch.
XANDER: Please, she-- Really?
ANYA: Of course. Nobody could do that much decoupage without calling on the powers of darkness.

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Friday, May 28, 2004 4:35 PM

MALICIOUS

Annik,

Can we be a "just because we want to hang out and talk and do girl stuff" club? I like when women get together because they want[/] to, not because they feel like they have to, in reaction to something men did or said or said they did.

Mal-licious

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Friday, May 28, 2004 4:53 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by annik:

Let's see ... to do things the 'official' way we need to develop positioning and key messages. Are we a man-hatin' girls' club or are we a need-our-own-club-cuz-the-guys-already-got-sseveral? Or another take on this?

On another point entirely (PR people are prone to doing that, BTW ... changing the point of things ) ... I'm always nervous about your sig, Ebo ... I'd like to know why the dentists you visit are commenting on your gender in the first place? Sounds creepifying to me.

Cheers,
Annik

Hmmm, i thing this is more of a us-with-masculane-names-need-a-support-group-to-deal-with-all-the-times-we-get-called-male. (For me its not just on the net. People standing in front of me, LOOKING AT ME, will call me a boy.)

And about that other point, i got my signature from the Sloganizer (see my most recent blog if you don't know what that is). Is a hint at my gender that makes people turn and go, say what now? I think dentists would care, though, because their tired of dealing with people who have brokin teeth because they called me a boy. The fifth one must be greedy though. Shame on him.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Friday, May 28, 2004 9:07 PM

ok, i tried to lure the boys over, telling them we need their help to build a sauna.

hot sweaty boys help cheer up those with easily-confused-as-to-the-gender names, right?

i had to wear gauzy things (fine, i liked them), but hopefully, some will make their way over and start gettin buildin.

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

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Friday, May 28, 2004 9:10 PM

Well I was a carpenter...but ya have to understand that for me napalm is an essential construction supply and all.

And I've installed jacuzzis before, and built saunas and barns even!

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Friday, May 28, 2004 9:11 PM

riiiight....

so, enough chit chat, get buildin!

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

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Friday, May 28, 2004 9:15 PM

Yes ma'am...

*starts a'building*

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
"Oh hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging
around playing art critic till I get pinched by
the Man, how's about we move away from this
eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our
increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"

My eerie-ass website:
http://gunhandsfirefly.homestead.com/Index.html

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Friday, May 28, 2004 9:19 PM

*clears throat*

ya know, shirts are optional.

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

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Friday, May 28, 2004 9:59 PM

Well I figured I'd just do all the carpentry in my kilt since it's summertime and all.

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Saturday, May 29, 2004 2:05 AM

MALICIOUS

Ok, ladies, I brought the lawn chairs. Here are some drink fixin's (little umbrellas included). I think we should set up over....there... for optimum viewing position. Let's see (calculates in her head) this trajectory should be excellent! We are close enough to see sweat and muscles and to be able to see up the kilt when he's on the ladder, yet just far enough away to be out of hammer-dropping range.

Ohhhh, yeahhh. Leather tool belt. (crosses legs, leans back, sips fruity drink, licks lips...) This is the life.

Mal-licious

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Saturday, May 29, 2004 7:01 AM

I'm sitting here with Malicios watching all the building action and I just noticed something dreadfully wrong with the sign.

Who tampered with the sign? Gay? I'm not a great typist but the a isn't anywhere near the u.

Girls, we have a hacker in our midst.

I suspect he's male.

We have to rally the troops, start an attack!!!

After they fisnish building our clubhouse...

We might postpone it a little longer if they bring us drinks too.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Saturday, May 29, 2004 7:39 AM

First things first. They finish building our clubhouse, cause we're so very good at acting helpless. (The Oscar goes to...!) Then, we manage to get back massages. Once we're all relaxed, and maybe take a nap, we then plot our attack! Muwahahahahaha! We could shower their clubhouse with feminine products! It's the least we could do to the devious hacker!

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Saturday, May 29, 2004 10:23 AM

ECGORDON

There's no place I can be since I found Serenity.

Now that I see you have changed the name of your club, I guess I can join, 'cause I definitely ain't gay.

wo men ren ran zai fei xing.

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Saturday, May 29, 2004 1:42 PM

JAKE7

Not Gay, NOT a guy -- so I guess I fit in either way!

Nice to have a place to go to watch the carpenters work! Even better is I'm not alone, 'cuz I think that could be an arrestable offense!

I've worked on plumbing -- not sure I'll ever do it again unless I have no choice! LONG story and it still brings panic to the surface...

I've done work on cars and I've embarrassed a few guys by actually FIXING the car when they couldn't figure out what was wrong! Not heavy stuff, mind you, but still, it was worth the reaction!

My dad was a carpenter, so I've picked up a few of those skills, plus my Mom fixed stuff all the time around the house, so I guess that just makes me mostly self sufficient...Except where spiders are concerned. Those will make me scream like a little girl!! ::shudders just thinking about those horrid little creaters::

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.

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Saturday, May 29, 2004 2:32 PM

Looking up the kilt now too are we? Sheesh and they say men have smutty minds. Okay we do, but still!

Remind me to bring Shepard Book next time I'm over here working on your clubhouse, I'm sure he has a sermon or two for y'all to listen to.

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Saturday, May 29, 2004 2:50 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Gunhand:
Looking up the kilt now too are we? Sheesh and they say men have smutty minds. Okay we do, but still!

Remind me to bring Shepard Book next time I'm over here working on your clubhouse, I'm sure he has a sermon or two for y'all to listen to.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
"Oh hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging
around playing art critic till I get pinched by
the Man, how's about we move away from this
eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our
increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"

My eerie-ass website:
http://gunhandsfirefly.homestead.com/Index.html

Well, if Book comes near us, we'll gang up on him and shave his head! How's that for girl power!

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Saturday, May 29, 2004 4:11 PM

FRED1988

Just so long as Gunhand's not pasty white from all that time he's spent in his bunker or in rehab, I'm good with the ogling.

Do we have snacks?

All my life I wanted to be somebody. I guess I should have been more specific.

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Saturday, May 29, 2004 4:12 PM

Fret not, I still have my 'desert tan' going, but I tell you what I don't get out of north soon I'm gonna start losing it. And then I'll lose it!

And nothing wrong with shaven heads, I've sported one from time to time so I'm sure Shepard Book would be stylin'.

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Saturday, May 29, 2004 4:57 PM