Who Has The Slowest Connection! by RahlMaclaren

TALK STORY

Who Has The Slowest Connection!

POSTED BY: RAHLMACLAREN
UPDATED: Sunday, June 27, 2010 07:45
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VIEWED: 5570
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Thursday, June 24, 2010 10:17 PM

RAHLMACLAREN

"Damn yokels, can't even tell a transport ship ain't got no guns on it." - Jayne Cobb

Go to... http://www.speedtest.net/

And connect to Honolulu.

I bet no one can defeat me!

.03mb/s download
.06mb/s upload

**Southern MO - Honolulu ~ 3950mi

Whoa, something ain't right. *does bad math in brain* I've never gotten this thing up to 30kb/s. **More like 3.25 KB/s. This site must have a speed minimum. Yes, I have dial-up. (Hmm, the site's for broadband. Oh well.)

5mb - 24min (sounds about right)= Half of a Bonanza episode
35mb - 168min = 2 hrs 48 min = An epic movie
800mb - 3845min = 2 days 16 hrs = An extended weekend

My result barely measured compared to the ISP average.

If the ISP bar measured 1.5", mine was 1/16".

Oh yeah, this connection sucks!!!

**Tested again to get the picture.

**ETA

--------------------------------------------------
Find here the Serenity you seek. -Tara Maclay

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Friday, June 25, 2010 12:13 AM

LWAVES

Congrats on possibly having the worst connection ever. Remember that if you set out to fail - you succeed.

London to Honolulu - 7250 miles

D/L = 2.43mb/s
U/L = 0.32mb/s

5mb = 17 secs
35mb = 2 mins
800mb = 44 mins

And this is whilst using Vuze to get the new Futurama episodes as well so it's not a completely accurate speed test.

Not the best but I'm happy with it. And it is a very stable connection, I rarely have any trouble with it.

"The greatest invention ever is not the wheel. It's the second wheel." - Rich Hall

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Friday, June 25, 2010 12:18 AM

TWO

The Joss Whedon script for Serenity, where Wash lives, is Serenity-190pages.pdf at www.mediafire.com/folder/1uwh75oa407q8/Firefly

RahlMaclaren, you're in the Dead Zone.
"Get an instant review of your broadband speed connection, and help the FCC spot broadband dead zones in the US." www.broadband.gov

The Joss Whedon script for "Serenity", where Wash lives, is
Serenity-190pages.pdf at www.mediafire.com/two

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Friday, June 25, 2010 1:09 AM

ECGORDON

There's no place I can be since I found Serenity.

Dallas, Texas to Honolulu - 3800 miles

3.6 Mb/s download
1.07 Mb/s upload

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Friday, June 25, 2010 2:09 AM

DANCINGNEKO

Maybe not the slowest, but damn pitiful....

upload .81 Mb/s
download .83 Mb/s

with a distance of <50 miles.

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Friday, June 25, 2010 5:23 AM

FARFLY

It is pretty slow to HI, signal must go by boat.

West coast is not bad

And local is even better

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Friday, June 25, 2010 11:35 AM

PENGUIN

5.77 Mb/s
.66 Mb/s

From the Mythical Land That is Iowa to Honolulu.

King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa

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Friday, June 25, 2010 2:12 PM

BRIGLAD

That's with my desktop hardwired and two laptops online on the WI-FI playing online games...

Brian

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Friday, June 25, 2010 4:54 PM

NAVYSEILS

My connection is pretty bad, I can usually barely get it to stay connected never mind run at a decent speed. You caught me on a good day today though.

Download 0.93Mb/s
Upload 0.19Mb/s

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Friday, June 25, 2010 8:50 PM

PIRATENEWS

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!

Hughes.net satellite ISP at ZERO bps for the past 4 weeks, fried modem at $150, fried dish not pointed at wandering satellite, slow service at $125 per house call plus parts, customer service in India.

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Friday, June 25, 2010 10:04 PM

CALHOUN

I remember back in the day when I first started out with the internet having a 9.6k modem...
Nothing talked about here comes close to how painful those days were. Of course there wasn't much to download back then but you could go make a cup of coffee whilst waiting for a web page to open.

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Saturday, June 26, 2010 12:33 AM

LWAVES

Quote:
Originally posted by Calhoun:
I remember back in the day when I first started out with the internet having a 9.6k modem...
Nothing talked about here comes close to how painful those days were. Of course there wasn't much to download back then but you could go make a cup of coffee whilst waiting for a web page to open.

Ahhh. Fond memories of waiting ages just to read a few lines of text. No WWW as we know it today. Just pages of coloured text, ascii art and ftp downloads.
And when your page arrived you'd drunk so much tea (or coffee) that you had to go pee.
Good times.

Not to derail the topic but I also remember when Star Wars: Dark Forces was the first game to require 8mb RAM to run. 8mb!!! You couldn't even switch on a PC these days with that piddly little amount.

"The greatest invention ever is not the wheel. It's the second wheel." - Rich Hall

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Saturday, June 26, 2010 12:41 AM

CALHOUN

Quote:
lwaves wrote:
Saturday, June 26, 2010 00:33

Not to derail the topic but I also remember when Star Wars: Dark Forces was the first game to require 8mb RAM to run. 8mb!!! You couldn't even switch on a PC these days with that piddly little amount.

Yeah, yeah! I remember them days well. Dark Forces was awesome. Duke Nukem! Doom! Wolfenstein3D! Ah the memories..

My first PC was a 386 with 2MB ram and a 256k video card... or was it a 286... so long ago. All DOS driven too :)

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Saturday, June 26, 2010 1:39 AM

BORIS

when I'm back home in almost rural NSW Australia my connection is so slow sometimes I give up...though from now on I'll be a bit more patient because it's not as slow as yours...though there have been times I've endured 2-3 days with no connection at all. Which is really annoying when I'm in the middle of assignments and need to do research etc...then I have to travel for an hour and a half (including wasted time at bus stops) by 2 buses to get to uni with my none too light lap top (I'm still kicking myself for not getting a smaller one that's easier to lug) along with all the other crap I feel the need to carry everytime I go anywhere... I'm gonna start a thread about how big a bag we carry around everyday and how much of the stuff in it is really necessary.

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Saturday, June 26, 2010 2:51 AM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)

Well, since I've been trying to answer this since yesterday, I'd say I win!

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Saturday, June 26, 2010 3:08 AM

LWAVES

Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:
Well, since I've been trying to answer this since yesterday, I'd say I win!

Bwahahahaha!
Sorry, but that's just really bad in a funny way.
Maybe you should change the 'Kwick' part of your username.

"The greatest invention ever is not the wheel. It's the second wheel." - Rich Hall

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Saturday, June 26, 2010 3:40 AM

KWICKO

Yeah, but Slowo just doesn't have the same ring to it! :)

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Saturday, June 26, 2010 4:46 AM

RAHLMACLAREN

"Damn yokels, can't even tell a transport ship ain't got no guns on it." - Jayne Cobb

*waits another two days for Kwicko's proof*

Anyhoo, I thought of something. (Dangerous, I know.)

My status box thing says it's connected at 36Kb/s, but really runs at 3.5Kbs. Is the 36k just the speed of modem? When I lived at Poplar Bluff my connection was 6Kb/s. It can't be my hardware, right?

--------------------------------------------------
Find here the Serenity you seek. -Tara Maclay

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Saturday, June 26, 2010 12:51 PM

OPTIMUS1998

From Lima, the Armpit of Ohio,

that's in kilobytes/sec.
and that's with my other pc Downloading today's Doctor Who episode via bittorrent.

Make Cartoons, Not War
- Sue Blu
I was a Lima loser for 29 years before "glee" introduced us to the term.

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Sunday, June 27, 2010 6:40 AM

ASORTAFAIRYTALE

From Maryland...

download: 1.49 MB/s
Upload: 0.36 MB/s
Is that good? I don't really know.

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Sunday, June 27, 2010 7:45 AM

KWICKO

Blargh.

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