Scientists and doctors agree, squeezing boobies cures cancer by PIRATENEWS

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Scientists and doctors agree, squeezing boobies cures cancer

POSTED BY: PIRATENEWS
UPDATED: Tuesday, February 19, 2013 00:34
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VIEWED: 3575
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Thursday, February 7, 2013 6:15 PM

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!

Squeezing breasts could prevent cancer, best study ever says

12/19/2012

Getting to second base, the holy grail for hormonal boys, is now science:

New research has shown that squeezing breasts could prevent malignant breast cells from causing cancer.

This doesn’t give pervy dudes license to grope you on the subway, ladies, but it does mean boob-grabbing should be a regular part of your self-care routine (yes, absolutely try it DIY-style).

Experiments found that physical pressure led cells back to normal growth patterns, and that even after compression was no longer applied, the malignant cells stopped growing.

Spread the word, boob-lovers of the world.

http://now.msn.com/squeezing-breasts-can-stop-cancer

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Thursday, February 7, 2013 7:43 PM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)

You don't know the difference between "prevent" and "cure"?

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Thursday, February 7, 2013 11:53 PM

PIRATENEWS

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!

Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:
You don't know the difference between "prevent" and "cure"?

Scientists agree most cancers cure themselves without ever being tortured by a doctor.

Doctors are the leading cause of death in USA.

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Saturday, February 9, 2013 12:23 AM

AGENTROUKA

Quote:
Originally posted by PIRATENEWS:
Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:
You don't know the difference between "prevent" and "cure"?

Scientists agree most cancers cure themselves without ever being tortured by a doctor.

Doctors are the leading cause of death in USA.

Which scientists? How many of them? Based on what?

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Saturday, February 9, 2013 12:48 PM

PIRATENEWS

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!

Quote:
Originally posted by AgentRouka:
Quote:
Originally posted by PIRATENEWS:
Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:
You don't know the difference between "prevent" and "cure"?

Scientists agree most cancers cure themselves without ever being tortured by a doctor.

Doctors are the leading cause of death in USA.

Which scientists? How many of them? Based on what?

Based upon thousands of hours of scientists squeezing boobies, apparently.

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Sunday, February 10, 2013 9:08 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

Interesting.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Sunday, February 17, 2013 10:51 AM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

Quote:
Originally posted by RionaEire:
Interesting.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

Yes, they are.

Fathom the hypocrisy of a government that requires every citizen to prove they are insured... but not everyone must prove they are a citizen

Resident USA Freedom Fundie

" AU, that was great, LOL!! " - Chrisisall

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Sunday, February 17, 2013 9:37 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

Note to others, don't squeeze them through a bra, they hurt more, always squeeze them straight up, as in just with your hand and nothing inbetween.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Monday, February 18, 2013 5:10 AM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

Quote:
Originally posted by RionaEire:
Note to others, don't squeeze them through a bra, they hurt more, always squeeze them straight up, as in just with your hand and nothing inbetween.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

Riona, with a helpful public service announcement.

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Monday, February 18, 2013 3:19 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

I figure the men ought to know, just keepin it real yo.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Monday, February 18, 2013 3:43 PM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

Quote:
Originally posted by RionaEire:
I figure the men ought to know, just keepin it real yo.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

Thanks Ri.

I prefer real to...not real.

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Monday, February 18, 2013 4:00 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

:)

You bring up an interesting point here. Why do women get breast implants (boobjobs, come on, you can say it)? Do they think men like breasts to be big and fake? If I were a man I sure wouldn't like it, I should think men would like women to have real breasts that are small more than they'd like fake breasts that are big. An exception to this opinion is of course if someone has had to have theirs removed due to medical reasons (cancer etc.) Obviously then I don't think men would mind artificial ones, but other than that ... seriously. My best friend and I used to talk about this in high school, because we knew a girl who wanted hers done as soon as she was 18 or as soon as she could afford it. We were really perplexed as to why.

So women, thoughts on why some women choose to have artificials put in? Men, thoughts on why women think men like artificials? Maybe some men do, but the men I've asked about it sure don't, again unless its necessary because of special circumstances.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Monday, February 18, 2013 4:12 PM

MAL4PREZ

Quote:
Originally posted by RionaEire:
So women, thoughts on why some women choose to have artificials put in? Men, thoughts on why women think men like artificials? Maybe some men do, but the men I've asked about it sure don't, again unless its necessary because of special circumstances.

It's no mystery. A certain cup size fills out a dress and looks nice, for those who value that kind of looking nice. I have no interest in it myself. I'd hate to be, shall we say, well endowed. I prefer my body to be useful rather than a thing to be gawked at. A big chest would just get in the way and be annoying. I thank goodness I don't have that problem.

In fact, I have known more women who got reductions than "enhancements," but that's because I live within a certain community. You know, the community of women who want to be athletes and dancers and brainiacs rather than eye candy or human clothes hangers.

However, I can't exist in this modern world without knowing that eye-candy is still a big part of it. Hello, Hollywood! A large part of our population likes big boobs, real or not. It's been trained into them, both men and women, as a status symbol. It seems sad to me, but if it makes other people happy, they ought to have at it. I dye my hair, they get fake boobs. Who am I to judge?

OK, I'll judge and mock, but I won't stop them.

My $.02.

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Monday, February 18, 2013 6:11 PM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

I knew one girl, well, more accurately knew OF her. She was a friend of a friend, who got implants for herself, purely for aesthetic reasons. Kinda sad, to be honest. I mean, I'd only met her a time or two, before her surgery, and she didn't just look nice, she was stunningly attractive. Was she a bit smallish up top ? I suppose, but nothing seemed out of place, from what I could see. Granted, I didn't see her in a bikini top, or less, so I can't really speak to her particulars, save for she was tall, slim,( though not skinny ) and had a really nice figure. I never saw the 'after' results, but I am lead to believe her self confidence improved drastically. If she was happy, I guess that's all that matters. But I thought she looked great before. And it's not like she was a dancer, or really NEEDED to have implants, but she just wanted them, to draw more attention to herself, mainly to get the type of guys who may have over looked her before. And it appears to have worked.

I mean, if a beautiful girl like that felt the need to augment her looks just to increase her image, self worth, etc... what's that say for other girls? I think it was a frivolous choice on her part, but as I didn't know her , and she didn't ask me, what I think is pretty irrelevant.

Fathom the hypocrisy of a government that requires every citizen to prove they are insured... but not everyone must prove they are a citizen

Resident USA Freedom Fundie

" AU, that was great, LOL!! " - Chrisisall

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Monday, February 18, 2013 6:57 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

I just don't get it. But the idea of fako parts that are unnecessary (as in ones you choose to get even though yours work just fine) has always grossed me out. Surgery is dangerous, having unnecessary surgery (again assuming your original parts work okay and are formed in a common way) seems stupid to me, its expensive, its dangerous, etc. Katie Curick just had a show about when plastic surgery goes wrong.

I can understand breast reduction though, because sometimes if they're too big they can cause back problems and other health concerns.

I'm quite content with mine the way they are. For all the things my body does wrong, my figure and face and hair are quite nice and I'm very confident about them. When I look in the mirror I like what I see and feel good about it.

My dad says that the way to tell if a woman's breasts are there by nature is to watch her when she lays down (when we watch Survivor he always looks because he's a guy and all). If they're in their swimsuits you can tell what's real because if they're real then they'll flatten out, whereas if they're not they'll stay up. I tried it out on myself and sure enough, I flattened right out. But I reckon if a woman has a swimsuit with more support in it this test wouldn't work, so I suspect his method is flawed.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Monday, February 18, 2013 8:04 PM

CANTTAKESKY

Quote:
Originally posted by AgentRouka:
Quote:
Originally posted by PIRATENEWS:
Scientists agree most cancers cure themselves without ever being tortured by a doctor.

Which scientists? How many of them? Based on what?

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9891219

Spontaneous regression of cancer: possible mechanisms.
Papac RJ.
Source

Section of Medical Oncology, Yale University School of Medicine, New Haven, CT 06520, USA.
Abstract

Spontaneous regression of cancer is reported in virtually all types of human cancer, although the greatest number of cases are reported in patients with neuroblastoma, renal cell carcinoma, malignant melanoma and lymhomas/leukemias. Study of patients with these diseases has provided most of the data regarding mechanisms of spontaneous regression. Mechanisms proposed for spontaneous regression of human cancer include: immune mediation, tumor inhibition by growth factors and/or cytokines, induction of differentiation, hormonal mediation, elimination of a carcinogen, tumor necrosis and/or angiogenesis inhibition, psychologic factors, apoptosis and epigenetic mechanisms. Clinical observations and laboratory studies support these concepts to a variable extent. The induction of spontaneous regression may involve multiple mechanisms in some cases although the end result is likely to be either differentiation or cell death. Elucidation of the process of spontaneous regression offers the possibility of improved methods of treating and preventing cancer.

My note: This abstract doesn't answer all of your questions, but spontaneous regression of cancer is widely known to happen.

-----

Disobedience is not an issue if obedience is not the goal.

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Tuesday, February 19, 2013 12:34 AM

MAGONSDAUGHTER

Quote:
Originally posted by PIRATENEWS:
Quote:
Originally posted by AgentRouka:
Quote:
Originally posted by PIRATENEWS:
Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:
You don't know the difference between "prevent" and "cure"?

Scientists agree most cancers cure themselves without ever being tortured by a doctor.

Doctors are the leading cause of death in USA.

Which scientists? How many of them? Based on what?

Based upon thousands of hours of scientists squeezing boobies, apparently.

PN makes a joke that isn't insane.

Are you in rehab?

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