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REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS
In the garden, and RAIN!!! (2)
Thursday, February 16, 2023 5:24 PM
BRENDA
Thursday, February 16, 2023 5:49 PM
SIGNYM
I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.
Quote:Originally posted by SIGNYM: I'm sure you've thought of this, but on the practical side, at some point your g'ma is going to need to be downstairs and near a bathroom. SIX: She's on the first floor and the bathroom is right next to her bedroom.
Quote: SIX: Oh... And I talked to my Aunt and I'm going to be moving all of her stuff downstairs in a room right off the kitchen that we cleared out last year. She brought her mattress down and she's been sleeping in the living room on it since Friday night. I'll probably be staying over one or two nights per week so my Dad doesn't have to stay all day 5 days a week while my aunt is working. It doesn't sound like my uncle has any plans of taking any days off of work, and my other aunt (his wife) is probably going to be wearing a mask for the rest of her life and probably won't be any help since she was barely at the hospital at all in the last two weeks. Since I'm sure I'd be really bored staying there that often at one time in a house that has tech limited to things that were made in the 1980s and without internet, I can also spend some of that time cleaning things up and clearing some stuff out that my aunt and I haven't already gotten to.
Quote:Originally posted by Brenda: I am so sorry to hear that SIX. That is hard work for all the family and hospice is the best for 24/7 care. *Hugs* to you and your family.
Thursday, February 16, 2023 7:41 PM
6IXSTRINGJACK
Quote:Originally posted by SIGNYM: Oh, that's right. I flipped it around in my head. How's the downstairs bathroom? Does it have a useable shower? Shower chair and shower wand. Hospice should eventually provide a shower chair but those handheld shower wands are perfect for giving a sit-down shower. If there's a tub/ shower downstairs, hospice should provide a transfer chair as well. They should be providing all of the supplies you'll need.
Quote:Quote: SIX: Oh... And I talked to my Aunt and I'm going to be moving all of her stuff downstairs in a room right off the kitchen that we cleared out last year. She brought her mattress down and she's been sleeping in the living room on it since Friday night. I'll probably be staying over one or two nights per week so my Dad doesn't have to stay all day 5 days a week while my aunt is working. It doesn't sound like my uncle has any plans of taking any days off of work, and my other aunt (his wife) is probably going to be wearing a mask for the rest of her life and probably won't be any help since she was barely at the hospital at all in the last two weeks. Since I'm sure I'd be really bored staying there that often at one time in a house that has tech limited to things that were made in the 1980s and without internet, I can also spend some of that time cleaning things up and clearing some stuff out that my aunt and I haven't already gotten to. That's what I did when mom was in hospital for a week (That was one of those times when she recovered went home.) There was an "office" that was literally filled floor to ceiling with miscellaneous boes of papers. Insurance Eplanation of benefits from when my dad was alive he had died years ago) bank statments from accounts that had been closed decades before. Old stock certificates from a company that had been bought out decades ago. Recent bills. Advertizing. Wills. My sis was taking excellent and loving care of mom, but not much on paperwork. I went and bought a filing cabinet and sorted it all out for her, along with the few boes of unopened mail in the livingroom, and disposed of the irrelevent stuff. I'd lie to think it relieved some of her stress.
Quote:Quote:Originally posted by Brenda: I am so sorry to hear that SIX. That is hard work for all the family and hospice is the best for 24/7 care. *Hugs* to you and your family. I'm not sure how hospice works there, but here they had a nurse come and do an evaluation every few weeks to begin with, and an aide come in to assist with showers once in a while. I was disappointed at first with how little they were doing at the beginning, but they really cranked up the support as MIL declined, even delivering pain meds to the door. I'm not sure how your g'ma is doing, but you may be in for something more like a marathon. It only turns into a sprint at the end. So don't plan on intense 24/7 care right away. Meals, helping to the bathroom, checking in every few hours, some entertainment... You will probably have time to do lots of other things for now.
Thursday, February 16, 2023 10:29 PM
Friday, February 17, 2023 3:15 AM
Friday, February 17, 2023 6:54 AM
Quote:Originally posted by SIGNYM: SIX, I could be 100% wrong, but it doesn't make sense to me that your g'mas cancer would advance so rapidly right after surgery and cause such rapid deterioration. Surgery is HARD on older people. They don't recover from the trauma or anesthesia like younger people do. And, yanno, she has some news to digest. It's hard to face impending end. It would knock anyone for a loop. Anyway I think physically she just needs recovery time. A week or so. That may represent a fairly large chunk of her remaining time, but it takes what it takes. You can't rush it.
Quote:The one thing I really regret from my grandma's and parents" deaths was not getting to know them as people, especially how they grew up and what their lives were like. I moved too far away and missed the chance to get to know them one adult to another. Does your g'ma like to reminisce? That might help her recover.
Friday, February 17, 2023 1:16 PM
Friday, February 17, 2023 1:19 PM
Friday, February 17, 2023 1:28 PM
Quote:Originally posted by Brenda: I've heard back from the lady that I emailed my manuscript too and she will have to snail mail it back to me as she doesn't drive into the city any more. Also since I don't drive and I doubt I would be able to get a ride out there this is the best way for now. She's found some things I missed and I will have her notes and be able to read them. She said she is liking it, which is nice to hear.
Friday, February 17, 2023 1:46 PM
Quote: SIX: So anesthesia can keep you down for a while too then?
Quote: I'll tell you one thing though... I'm not going to let her watch FOX News all day when I'm over there.
Friday, February 17, 2023 4:51 PM
Quote:Originally posted by SIGNYM: Quote:Originally posted by Brenda: I've heard back from the lady that I emailed my manuscript too and she will have to snail mail it back to me as she doesn't drive into the city any more. Also since I don't drive and I doubt I would be able to get a ride out there this is the best way for now. She's found some things I missed and I will have her notes and be able to read them. She said she is liking it, which is nice to hear. I hope to read it some day, too! Oh BTW, congrats on the mah jong win. ----------- Pity would be no more, If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
Friday, February 17, 2023 4:53 PM
Friday, February 17, 2023 5:20 PM
Quote:Originally posted by SIGNYM: Quote: SIX: So anesthesia can keep you down for a while too then? OMG yes. My dad was hallucinating for a week afterwards. He kind of knew where he was, but he hallucinated that hospital was on the verge of bankruptcy and the basement was full of telephone answerers trying to fend off calls from concerned relatives and creditors. He was so concerned about being left alone in a dark hospital that IRL he was going to get in a wheelchair and sign himself out AMA and get a taxi to go home. A friend of my MIL's went temporarily paranoid ... this was a few days AFTER she was discharged and being taken care of by MIL at home... she threatened MIL with a knife. Delayed anesthesia reaction. A colleague's dad repeatedly hallucinated eating oatmeal... AFTER he was sent home. Hubby's "3-day" hospital stay turned into a 6-day stay because of disorientation from anesthesia and pain meds. This doesn't happen to everyone, but it happens enough, and it can occur unexpectedy after a time lag of days or even a week. If it happens to your g'ma don't get thrown. Of course, call hospice but it could quite likely just be a reaction to anesthesia. And there was a time my dad had gall bladder surgery ... this was the days before scopic surgery when they did a whipple incision ... I went to visit him in the hospital and I literally didn't even recognize him at first. It was like he had aged 20 years in one week, he looked so gray and frail and small. But as he got better he was back to his former self. Quote: I'll tell you one thing though... I'm not going to let her watch FOX News all day when I'm over there. Good for you! ----------- Pity would be no more, If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
Friday, February 17, 2023 7:01 PM
Friday, February 17, 2023 8:27 PM
Saturday, February 18, 2023 1:08 PM
Saturday, February 18, 2023 2:11 PM
Saturday, February 18, 2023 2:15 PM
Saturday, February 18, 2023 5:08 PM
Quote:Originally posted by SIGNYM: It looks like we're due for another half inch of rain a few days from now. That would put us slightly above our yearly total. Correct me if I'm wrong, BRENDA, but it seems like you've had an unusual number of sunny days so far this winter? ----------- Pity would be no more, If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
Saturday, February 18, 2023 5:10 PM
Saturday, February 18, 2023 6:07 PM
Quote:Originally posted by SIGNYM: Not sure what to say about your g'ma being weak. If she's not eating is she drinking enough water and getting enough salt? Or getting IV saline?
Quote:She may be dehydrated. And it could still be from surgery. When I had a port put in, which is probably like putting in a drain, it was under local PLUS sedation (not total anesthesia). I was awake but very, very ...VERY... relaxed. I heard and remember everything. But I kinda drooped for a few days afterwards.
Sunday, February 19, 2023 12:41 AM
Sunday, February 19, 2023 3:43 AM
Quote:Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK: My aunt is in bad shape. I can tell that she's really overwhelmed. I think that even though my Dad doesn't want me over there taking a shift, I'm going to need to be there with them just for moral support as much as possible. -------------------------------------------------- Growing up in a Republic was nice... Shame we couldn't keep it.
Sunday, February 19, 2023 9:43 AM
Quote:Originally posted by SIGNYM: Quote:Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK: My aunt is in bad shape. I can tell that she's really overwhelmed. I think that even though my Dad doesn't want me over there taking a shift, I'm going to need to be there with them just for moral support as much as possible. -------------------------------------------------- Growing up in a Republic was nice... Shame we couldn't keep it. Hugs to you, and hugs for your aunt. Working and taking care of someone is impossible.
Quote:Not sure how your g'ma feels about male family members taking care of her more private needs.
Quote:If that's a problem, you all may eventually need to pitch in and hire a female caregiver for when your aunt needs to get out of the house. (And she WILL need to get out of the house. Nobody can take care of a terminally sick relative 247. It's too exhausting, emotionally and physically.)
Quote:You mentioned some relatives that appear to have no inclination to help. How are they financially? Helping pay for someone to come over and give you all a break could be part of the team effort.
Sunday, February 19, 2023 1:03 PM
Sunday, February 19, 2023 1:06 PM
Sunday, February 19, 2023 1:45 PM
Quote:Originally posted by SIGNYM: Piece of advice for your aunt, if this should ever become a temptation: DONT take Social Security retirement early. If she does she will lose the ability to earn money even as she collects social security.
Quote:How are you at cooking? On your nights over maybe you could prepare some meals and stock the frig?
Quote:AFA helping: Not sure how big your g'ma is, but someone will have to guide her to a toilet or to a wheelchair or transfer chair and then transfer to a toilet or shower chair.
Quote:Eventually someone wil have to wash her hair and give her a shower and possibly even wipe her after toilet. If she falls is she a one-person lift or a two-person lift?
Quote:Someone will have to change her bed sheets (There'a a trick to it. You don't need to get the person out of beed: You roll them to one side, lift the old sheet off and kind of log-roll it against them and put the new sheet on. then roll them to the other side onto the clan sheet, strip the old sheet off and pull the new sheet on the rest of the way and tuck it in. I'm sure you can figure it out.) and her clothes. That's not including helping her eat and/or drink, assisting with meds etc.
Quote:And that's not including all of the normal household stuff: washing dishes, sorting the mail, paying bills, sweeping and vaccuming etc.
Quote:Anyway, this will probably be a marathon not a sprint. What was being done BEFORE her dx? This is your benchmark. She is prolly not THAT much worse off, physically, than she was before she went to the hospital. Weaker, but beter oxygenated.
Quote:So I imagine that much of this help will not be necessary until the last two-three months, so your aunt, and you, and dad, shouldn't exhaust yourselves now. There's (probably) no need at this point for 24-7 bedside attendance. Good for someone to be there while you all learn how to do what you need to do, and great for someone to be on night shift so your aunt can sleep once in awhile, but you all need to pace yourselves. Maybe you all should throttle back after a week or so. Can your aunt work on a reduced schedule? Three days a week for the time being?
Quote:There are plenty of homecare agencies. The one I heard good things about was Home Instead, but when I looked them up I found even better-rated ones. The problem with agencies is that you pay the agency an exhorbitant amount of money and they pay their staff quite a bit less. If you don't mind trotting thru the interview process you can hire private-duty and you both make out better. Bc my workplace had a plan where I could set aside pre-tax money for such things, I paid our employees social security ect tax, and filed for reimbursement. That's one way of managing it.
Quote:Sorry for the brain-dump. OH PS: GET A BEDSIDE BELL. Or some other easy-to reach call system.
Sunday, February 19, 2023 1:48 PM
Sunday, February 19, 2023 2:42 PM
Sunday, February 19, 2023 4:33 PM
Quote:Originally posted by Brenda: Quote:Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK: My aunt is in bad shape. I can tell that she's really overwhelmed. I think that even though my Dad doesn't want me over there taking a shift, I'm going to need to be there with them just for moral support as much as possible. -------------------------------------------------- Growing up in a Republic was nice... Shame we couldn't keep it. *Hugs* SIX. I've been there and it is overwhelming and that was with help coming in.
Sunday, February 19, 2023 4:39 PM
Quote:Originally posted by SIGNYM: If I get that sick I plan to take easy way out. I don't want to be a burden on our daughter and leave her with such painful memories.
Sunday, February 19, 2023 7:16 PM
Sunday, February 19, 2023 8:16 PM
Quote:Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK: Quote:Originally posted by Brenda: Quote:Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK: My aunt is in bad shape. I can tell that she's really overwhelmed. I think that even though my Dad doesn't want me over there taking a shift, I'm going to need to be there with them just for moral support as much as possible. -------------------------------------------------- Growing up in a Republic was nice... Shame we couldn't keep it. *Hugs* SIX. I've been there and it is overwhelming and that was with help coming in. Thanks Brenda. Sorry I've been so self absorbed right now. How's the book coming along? -------------------------------------------------- Growing up in a Republic was nice... Shame we couldn't keep it.
Sunday, February 19, 2023 8:51 PM
Quote:Originally posted by SIGNYM: Well, I have to respect her beliefs. Me? Not a believer. Your mileage may vary.
Quote:Oh, music from the past! What a lovely idea!!!
Quote:I personally love dance music from back then. Jitterbug, swing, the Lindy hop, even the twist. It gets my toes tapping!
Sunday, February 19, 2023 11:15 PM
Monday, February 20, 2023 9:56 AM
SECOND
The Joss Whedon script for Serenity, where Wash lives, is Serenity-190pages.pdf at https://www.mediafire.com/two
Quote:Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK: I give it 50/50 that we're in the Matrix. The more I learn the less I know.
Monday, February 20, 2023 1:54 PM
Monday, February 20, 2023 2:03 PM
Monday, February 20, 2023 3:08 PM
Monday, February 20, 2023 3:12 PM
Quote:Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK: Going to Grams now. Super excited to give her the gift of music from her childhood and hoping she's got it in her to watch a few classic movies with me while I'm there. My aunt seemed in good spirits this morning even though she had another rough night. I think the fact that she's not in this alone is really helping her mental state about it. My old man is there with her now and the nurse and aide should be arriving soon. My aunt still thinks I won't last the night over there, but I think she's just projecting what she would do if she wasn't in a position with responsibility. I've no intention of fleeing. They destroyed her beautiful dining room table by cutting off the legs to get it out of the house to fit the hospice bed and all the other do-dads. TBH, the 7 cats that lived there had really already done that to the legs of the table and all the chairs already, but their loss is my gain. I've emptied out my car and I'm going to be breaking down that wood and having a few fantastic pieces for projects back home. There's already a dresser out there I never got around to scrapping too, so I'll load up whatever I can in my car and get more the next time I go over. My aunt says she doesn't want to move downstairs now and has no energy for it. I'll see if I can talk her into it when I get over there. It doesn't make any sense for her not to be downstairs when she's already got the mattress down there every night. Be well, everybody. I'll give an update when I can. Good luck with the publisher, Brenda. -------------------------------------------------- Growing up in a Republic was nice... Shame we couldn't keep it.
Monday, February 20, 2023 8:30 PM
Monday, February 20, 2023 11:31 PM
Monday, February 20, 2023 11:33 PM
Tuesday, February 21, 2023 1:08 PM
Tuesday, February 21, 2023 1:34 PM
Tuesday, February 21, 2023 1:54 PM
Tuesday, February 21, 2023 5:19 PM
Quote:Originally posted by SIGNYM: Hey BRENDA, I hope you're not too achy from your workday yesterday. Sounds like you're able to stick to your regular activities so maybe you're ok? ***** Been super busy- for me anyway. That means being consistently active, altho at my work pace I obviously don't accomplish as much as SUX. Still, I managed to get three bins of wardesste out last week, and three bins this week, and have been busy contacting contractors and gardeners and pursuing various medical and dental appointments for myself and the family. Well, off to being busy, again! ----------- Pity would be no more, If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
Tuesday, February 21, 2023 5:21 PM
Quote:Originally posted by SIGNYM: Rain prediction is getting more and more robust. For the most part, our snowpack surpasses the biggest snowpack on record ('82-83) except for northern CA, where it fall slightly below, having had no new accumulation for the past month. https://cdec.water.ca.gov/snowapp/swcchart.action If this storm grazes northern and central CA, and dumps on southern CA (as predicted), this will be a banner water-year. Fingers crossed. FWIW Canada maintains a drought monitor map too. The Vancouver area shows up as moderate drought. ----------- Pity would be no more, If we did not MAKE someone poor - William Blake
Tuesday, February 21, 2023 5:22 PM
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