GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Male and Female Imponderables the Fifth

POSTED BY: TRISTAN
UPDATED: Sunday, May 28, 2006 01:01
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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 9:20 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Dang FMF, you're a machine. I really envy the guy that can keep up with you. Go trolling at your local grocery store. Look for the guy looking at travel magazines with a loaf of bread, PBJ, fresh fruit, and light beer. Be careful though, make sure he ain't too femanine. Or find the guy looking at the real hot rod mags (Ol' Skool Rods and The Horse). I tend to be in these sections and the guys around me seem to also be single with that dream of travel and adventure. Also try your local media store (Boarders,Tower). And of course anybody hanging around the Firely/Serenity area of the video store is fair game.

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 9:32 AM

DAYVE


Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
Here is my imponderable - I have no access to unmarried/unattached/heterosexual males.

I work from 7-4 Mon to Fri. I have an evening job from 5:30-11. My house is 40 miles away from my day job, and I work the second job 2-7 both weekend days!


my question is, what would you do with one if you got him? seems like you would way too tired to entertain the guy anyway.... i mean holy snikees batman.... you work WAY too much....

all seriousness aside, i would say you need to take some "Me" time... get yourself out there and put that bright, shiny face where it can be appreciated.... i know those guys are around - i saw one yesterday... granted he was giving me a speeding ticket, but i'm pretty sure he was straight....

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 9:36 AM

DAYVE



& there's always the Personals... most alternative newspapers have em.... worth a shot and it might save some of your precious time.... (since you don't have much to spare)...


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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 11:06 AM

MERCURY002


Quote:
Originally posted by copilot:
No you guys are just fine no worries. Just found out what I really mean to this particular individual is all. After four years apparently all I am is a drunk ugly whore to him. Good to know where I stand I guess. I'm still really angry so bear with me okay?


Try telling them what they mean to you, they may open up or have been having a bad day, still no excuse for that unless your mal.

As for violence i dont know what kinda fights that you guys have been in but some of the ones i have been in (few and little) look quite choreographed, with jumping dodging and counter attacks, i have had no formal training, neither have my freinds but the natural flow of a fight can be fast and pretty.

A few people are saying that they get angery, the last and only time i got angery was when i was seven (now 18) and it dosent affect me much i just get mildly annoyed.

A question about anger and fights ... has anyone been bullied, in my highschool our entire year was close, we made a sort of early student union full of comradeship, and all of the rugby team, football team and the big kids surrounded a small group of bullies early on and said if they didnt stop we would get the rest of the year and beat the living crap out of them and they never ever did it again, it was a fairly empty threat and wouldnt hurt them too much.

I know that this is a sensitive topic but most of you are older and have left schools and might free able to talk about it.

Simon:"If the battle was so horrible, why did he name the ship after it?"
Zoe:"Once you've been in serenity you never leave"

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 11:24 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


NV and Dayve -

Thanks for the advice. I do need to have some "me" time. Anyone up for offing the bigamist ex? NO? Dang it! The insurance would come in handy!

I have to work, because he feels that after 19 years of marriage, the fact that I do not have a retirement account or pension is not his problem. Even though he was the one that wanted me home with the kids. And he doesn't think he should have to help me pay this house payment. So here I am. 41. No prospects.

As for all those lovely places to look - there aren't really any here. This is a tourist town, so there are a lot of crap tourist stores, an outlet mall and a walmart. The locals, well, not going there and the tourists are married or Gay.

Anyway, this too shall pass!

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 11:57 AM

TAYEATRA


In response to the bullying thing...

I was picked on age 7-8 because I was too smart for my own good and a natural suck-up. The same girls then picked on me at high school aged 11.

After that I stopped acting smart and took on a generally 'disinterested'/'can't be arsed' persona. This is basically the equivalent of 'ignoring them'. I became very subdued and avoided large groups of people and I know it affected my self-confidence. It's still an issue I'm working to overcome but I recently found out that one of the girls that picked on me now has 2 kids, is pregnant and is getting divorced (she's 19). On the one hand I'm trying not to be petty and cruel about it but one small part of me is amused... does this make me a bad person?

I never reacted violently to anyone that picked on me but I did give someone a black eye for bullying a friend of mind... I guess I tend to stick up for others more than for myself.

*****
Taya
*****
I'm going to S3!!!
(*Insert hysterical celebration dance here*)

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 1:41 PM

COPILOT


My relationship is not fulfilling in the least so yes I do tend to keep one or two surrogate boyfriends around to make me feel special. It's not fair to the guys but they seem to gladly take on the job. Basically it comes down to hanging out with me watching chick flicks takeing me out on "dates" and telling me I'm beautiful. Wow that is a really sucky job! I should buy them something for their troubles. On occasion these relationships turn sexual but not that often. My relationship with Significant Other is severly screwed up! Sometimes I forget how much but typing that out made me relize how bad it really is.


An I carried such a torch.......For the Dark Lord

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 2:49 PM

NUCLEARDAY


On bullying: Yeah, I was one of those geeky kids that got picked on in school time to time. (Oh wait, I'm still a geek :) I was mostly left alone once I got to high school, though. I realized that most of bullying is something of an act, and that both the bully and the victim have parts to play. Once I stepped out of my own role of playing the victim, the bullying pretty much stopped. ie, once I started standing up to them it stopped being as much fun. Never got in any fights over it or anything, just found that it's not as fun to bully someone who doesn't act frightened and squirmy. Still, there's always some ass-hat out there that just wants to mess with people...

Oh, and hugs for FMF and Copilot. Us menfolk aren't all walking piles of go-se, but I think some of us never got the memo... :P

________________________________________________
You can take my Browncoat when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. (Or if Kaylee asks me nicely...)

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 3:09 PM

SOULQUAKE


I was never bullied - but left in the corner sort of? You know, last picked. It was that way until my sophmore year of high school.

Dealing with anger - loud music and a notebook! Write out the storm - seriously, it's amazing how much of a difference it can make. Not only are you getting the stuff out of your head and onto paper, but the physical act of writing is a release as well. Screaming in a pillow is good as well ;)
I used to deal with anger in a very... unhealthy way. But these are some things that work for me. And if you need it, a good cry never hurt anyone.

Hang in there FMF - you've got tons of support!

---
"Sun came out, and I walked on my feet and heard with my ears. I ate the bits, the bits stayed down, and I work. I function like I'm a girl. I hate it because I know it'll go away."

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 4:08 PM

VINTERDRAKEN


Wow, lots and lots of things to reply to. Didnt think I had been gone so long ;)
Ok, first off.
Violence. Generally real violence is bad, got into my fair share of scraps when I was little and learnt the ugly side of violence pretty fast, also I have berserker blood in me, dont know if you get what I mean, its a icelandic thing. (the expression I mean).
Violence on TV can be fun, depending on what it is. Dont like violent sports much but the occasional action movie is great (also, im a big fan of horror movies).

Then to the Ex question. Ive tried to stay friends with some of my exes, but usually it results in either we grow apart or we get into a fight and stop being friends. Dont think its impossible to be friends with a ex though, just hard at times. And I can say that my brother and a friend of mine have both slept with the same women (although at very different times) and they have no problem spending time together or talking about it so I dont think thats a male thing, more of a person thing.

And to answer Mercury002´s question,
Yes ive been bullied. I actually to the point that it broke me completely and messed me up for a long while. Even resulted in a fair share of suicide attempts (please, no pity. Was a very long time ago). Although it was hell, it made me the person I am today. Dont have much trouble talking about those times, there all in the past now.


You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 4:08 PM

VINTERDRAKEN


Wow, lots and lots of things to reply to. Didnt think I had been gone so long ;)
Ok, first off.
Violence. Generally real violence is bad, got into my fair share of scraps when I was little and learnt the ugly side of violence pretty fast, also I have berserker blood in me, dont know if you get what I mean, its a icelandic thing. (the expression I mean).
Violence on TV can be fun, depending on what it is. Dont like violent sports much but the occasional action movie is great (also, im a big fan of horror movies).

Then to the Ex question. Ive tried to stay friends with some of my exes, but usually it results in either we grow apart or we get into a fight and stop being friends. Dont think its impossible to be friends with a ex though, just hard at times. And I can say that my brother and a friend of mine have both slept with the same women (although at very different times) and they have no problem spending time together or talking about it so I dont think thats a male thing, more of a person thing.

And to answer Mercury002´s question,
Yes ive been bullied. I actually to the point that it broke me completely and messed me up for a long while. Even resulted in a fair share of suicide attempts (please, no pity. Was a very long time ago). Although it was hell, it made me the person I am today. Dont have much trouble talking about those times, there all in the past now.


You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 4:08 PM

VINTERDRAKEN


Wow, lots and lots of things to reply to. Didnt think I had been gone so long ;)
Ok, first off.
Violence. Generally real violence is bad, got into my fair share of scraps when I was little and learnt the ugly side of violence pretty fast, also I have berserker blood in me, dont know if you get what I mean, its a icelandic thing. (the expression I mean).
Violence on TV can be fun, depending on what it is. Dont like violent sports much but the occasional action movie is great (also, im a big fan of horror movies).

Then to the Ex question. Ive tried to stay friends with some of my exes, but usually it results in either we grow apart or we get into a fight and stop being friends. Dont think its impossible to be friends with a ex though, just hard at times. And I can say that my brother and a friend of mine have both slept with the same women (although at very different times) and they have no problem spending time together or talking about it so I dont think thats a male thing, more of a person thing.

And to answer Mercury002´s question,
Yes ive been bullied. I actually to the point that it broke me completely and messed me up for a long while. Even resulted in a fair share of suicide attempts (please, no pity. Was a very long time ago). Although it was hell, it made me the person I am today. Dont have much trouble talking about those times, there all in the past now.


You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 4:08 PM

VINTERDRAKEN


Wow, lots and lots of things to reply to. Didnt think I had been gone so long ;)
Ok, first off.
Violence. Generally real violence is bad, got into my fair share of scraps when I was little and learnt the ugly side of violence pretty fast, also I have berserker blood in me, dont know if you get what I mean, its a icelandic thing. (the expression I mean).
Violence on TV can be fun, depending on what it is. Dont like violent sports much but the occasional action movie is great (also, im a big fan of horror movies).

Then to the Ex question. Ive tried to stay friends with some of my exes, but usually it results in either we grow apart or we get into a fight and stop being friends. Dont think its impossible to be friends with a ex though, just hard at times. And I can say that my brother and a friend of mine have both slept with the same women (although at very different times) and they have no problem spending time together or talking about it so I dont think thats a male thing, more of a person thing.

And to answer Mercury002´s question,
Yes ive been bullied. I actually to the point that it broke me completely and messed me up for a long while. Even resulted in a fair share of suicide attempts (please, no pity. Was a very long time ago). Although it was hell, it made me the person I am today. Dont have much trouble talking about those times, there all in the past now.


You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 4:08 PM

VINTERDRAKEN


Wow, lots and lots of things to reply to. Didnt think I had been gone so long ;)
Ok, first off.
Violence. Generally real violence is bad, got into my fair share of scraps when I was little and learnt the ugly side of violence pretty fast, also I have berserker blood in me, dont know if you get what I mean, its a icelandic thing. (the expression I mean).
Violence on TV can be fun, depending on what it is. Dont like violent sports much but the occasional action movie is great (also, im a big fan of horror movies).

Then to the Ex question. Ive tried to stay friends with some of my exes, but usually it results in either we grow apart or we get into a fight and stop being friends. Dont think its impossible to be friends with a ex though, just hard at times. And I can say that my brother and a friend of mine have both slept with the same women (although at very different times) and they have no problem spending time together or talking about it so I dont think thats a male thing, more of a person thing.

And to answer Mercury002´s question,
Yes ive been bullied. I actually to the point that it broke me completely and messed me up for a long while. Even resulted in a fair share of suicide attempts (please, no pity. Was a very long time ago). Although it was hell, it made me the person I am today. Dont have much trouble talking about those times, there all in the past now.


You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 4:08 PM

VINTERDRAKEN


Wow, lots and lots of things to reply to. Didnt think I had been gone so long ;)
Ok, first off.
Violence. Generally real violence is bad, got into my fair share of scraps when I was little and learnt the ugly side of violence pretty fast, also I have berserker blood in me, dont know if you get what I mean, its a icelandic thing. (the expression I mean).
Violence on TV can be fun, depending on what it is. Dont like violent sports much but the occasional action movie is great (also, im a big fan of horror movies).

Then to the Ex question. Ive tried to stay friends with some of my exes, but usually it results in either we grow apart or we get into a fight and stop being friends. Dont think its impossible to be friends with a ex though, just hard at times. And I can say that my brother and a friend of mine have both slept with the same women (although at very different times) and they have no problem spending time together or talking about it so I dont think thats a male thing, more of a person thing.

And to answer Mercury002´s question,
Yes ive been bullied. I actually to the point that it broke me completely and messed me up for a long while. Even resulted in a fair share of suicide attempts (please, no pity. Was a very long time ago). Although it was hell, it made me the person I am today. Dont have much trouble talking about those times, there all in the past now.


You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 4:32 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Copilot, darling, did this guy really call you an ugly whore? Any man called me anything like that I would be like to throw a kick his way and say "Okay, well, guess it's over now. Never talk to me again." If I lived with him it would be closer to "Take all your shit and get out." Really, if that's what he thinks of you, you need to get away from him. Like, right away. I'm sorry that his true colors are so nasty; I feel your pain.
Want me to light him on fire? I can light him on fire...

Yes, I was bullied in my younger years. Not pushed around beat up bullied, more like threatened and got stuff stollen bullied. Though I got in a few tussles. I was not a popular kid. I'm not what could really be called "popular" now, either, but the friends I have are good ones and no one is throwing nasty insults my way. That I know of. Anyway it eventually drove me out of school early (tested out) and I have not been eager to go back, though I know I should get a degree. I've just been surrounded by elitists most of my life and haven't seen that it would change much in college. Maybe so I hope. Hoping to start college later this year. Ugh.

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 7:29 PM

SASSALICIOUS


Quote:
Originally posted by copilot:
So anyone have advice for someone who's about to become single again? I don't know how this works I'm only at the I hate the fing bastard and listening to Fiona Apple at high volumes stage. Also I havn't told him yet. But it's his own f**king fault. Sorry anger issues.

An I carried such a torch....For the Dark Lord


I don't have much advice for you (4 years is a long time,,,i'm impressed). Stay angry for the time being. If you don't you risk not following through (and that might be bad). When you do break up with him, don't use hints. Just say it.

Fiona Apple? I love her!! Have you heard the new album yet? I keep meaning to buy it, but also keep forgetting.

Other music to listen to: Silverchair, Evanescence, Lacuna Coil, and Ani Difranco (she's not my favorite, but she has some good angry girl music).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 9:43 PM

EMMARIGBY


I just had to say Copilot that hearing about your troubles had me seething in indignation. That should mean something. I've only known you for a few weeks, have just chatted over e-mail, and still you inspire strong feelings of protectiveness. This suggests that you are a special and wonderful person.

Don't let the get you down. Once the anger wears off it's all too easy to get depressed over stuff like this. Chuck him but keep your self worth intact, I say!!

Hope you're feeling better today (I have to catch up some so I may find out!)

"The bad stuff's easier to believe" Pretty Woman

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 11:19 PM

MERCURY002


stay talking to us it will cheer you up, as to control the anger i have no idea some say better out than in, i have only been properly angery once, i just put the negative feelings in a little box in my mind (i think its bad for me but so is crossing the road) and sometimes it builds and i feel like the hulk about to go all green also my fav color.

Simon:"If the battle was so horrible, why did he name the ship after it?"
Zoe:"Once you've been in serenity you never leave"

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 12:58 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


Hey Copilot

Sorry to hear about the (in)significant other in your life. My advice would be to dump him and move on, but I know that's usually a lot harder to do than it is to say.

I kind of wound up being a serial bullying victim, and it's something that I've only recently managed to put a stop to. I was bullied in varying degrees pretty much all the way through school - writing poetry and a fondness for science fiction doesn't go over with the how's-my-makeup oh-I-love-this-song how-do-I-look he-HAS-to-call-me crowd. It only stopped when a rumour went around the school that I was psychic (I'm not) and I became weirdly cool for my last school year. That was fun :)

Shortly after I finished college I wound up with a guy who belittled me just about every day we were together. I didn't realise how bad it was at the time, but the stuff he said had a horrible effect on me. I finally snapped the night he took his anger out on me by hitting me. Here's a tip. Never hit a girl who's grown up in a tough neighbourhood and has repressed anger issues. One particularly gleeful friend (who'd wanted me to dump the guy for ages) told me she could still see the phone shaped bruise on the guy's left cheek four days later. I got over it, but I didn't date again for over two years.

You'd have thought I'd have learned my lesson from that, but the icing on the cake was getting bullied by my boss at work. And guess what? ~Again~ clever me didn't realise what was going on until someone else pointed it out! The thing was I'd been off work for a long time due to illness, and this boss had labelled me as unreliable from the time I got back. I did manage to sort the situation out eventually, but it was horrible at the time, especially since I was convinced for a long time that she was right and I ~was~ a terrible employee, and couldn't understand why I never seemed to improve.

As you can imagine, once I got out of that situation there was a LOT of trying to figure out why I seemed to end up getting bullied so much and how I could stop it happening again. I've been very lucky in that I have great friends who've made me feel a lot better about myself and who give me great advice when thinks get rough. And I can safely say that I will never, ever be bullied again - by anyone!

I don't usually go for posting my life story on the internet, but I wanted to let people know that bullying can happen at any stage of your life and there's always, always a way out. It might take ages, it might take courage, it might even take legal action (!) but there is ~always~ a way out. I can't believe how great my life is now! I certainly didn't think it would take less than a year to get a job I really love. So if anyone out there is stuck in any situation that makes them miserable, my advice is to do whatever you can to get out of it and have the happiest life you can possible have. No matter what anyone says, you deserve it.


Desktop Hippie: at one with the 'verse

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 2:49 AM

FLATTOP


Violence:
I am well trained at committing acts of violence. Not UFC cage match good, but well enough that I train others. That said; I abhor violence. I do not want to hurt anyone. I do however recognize it as occasionally necessary, as I have seen what can happen to peaceful, poorly trained/equiped people when faced with a very few well trained/equiped opponents that intend them ill. I believe that all of the people in the world should possess the knowledge/means to inflict gross bodily harm on others. That way the good folk of the world will not only vastly out-number the evil, but the evil few will live in mortal fear of discovery. Heinlein (sp?) said it best, "An armed society is a polite society."

The lack of comity, and civility in today's society are rants that I will lauch off on when I have more time...

Violence in film: My daughter and I like to watch zombie/horror/action films, accept the fantasy so to speak, then we pick them apart, and determine better courses of action for the main character(s) to have taken. It's kooky, but we enjoy it.

Exes: haven't had one in too long to comment.

Bullying: I'm a largish man (6' 200#), I carry myself confidently, and keep looking around in an 'I know what's around me' way, not a twitchy 'What was that?' way. I don't get bullied so much (except by my wife ).

Only you can make you feel guilty. If you are doing the right thing - no matter what anyone else says, feel good about it and yourself. If you aren't doing the right thing - straighten up, or may the weight of your guilt drown you.



Do you know what your sin is Captain?
Aww Hell. I'm a big fan of all seven.

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 3:04 AM

TRISTAN


Good morning, all!
I missed a bit yesterday...
Copilot, the engine is warmed up, and ready to have someone tossed through it; just say the word!


I think the only thing I haven't replied to has been the bullying issue. School for me was quite a long time ago. I was never bullied, nor was I the bully. I had a core of friends I stuck with, and if you picked on one of us, you had to deal with many. Ok, we weren't thugs, or weightlifters, but we were the geeks, etc, and we could confuse the hell out of any attacker . They eventually gave up.

Let me throw out another topic for today: equality in the workplace. Anyone having issues with this? Males and females both.
My story is that I am one of two males where I work (the other is the owner of the Agency). I am also the newest member of the "team", and still learning from everyone. There is only one area that I know more than most everyone else, but I still have to ask for help. As far as equality, I am treated well, if condescendingly at times. And yes, I have to hear about the evils of males every now and again when one of my sex does something stupid. All I can really say is I am happy I have my own office!
Y'all's thoughts?

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 3:18 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


Tristan

I work in an all female office. I am the only one here with technical certifications AND in my last position I actually ran a company. So there is a lot of animosity from the others.

I know it is awful to say, but I actually prefer working with men. We women are our own greatest enemy. I do not know why, but women do tend to sabatoge each other. Not all women, but enough to make life uncomfortable.

Ladies, do I speak truth?


BTW: interestingly enough I got asked out last night. One small problem, he is EXACTLY half my age. Toy boy is nice, but Oedipal is a little too freaky

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 3:43 AM

TAYEATRA


Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:


BTW: interestingly enough I got asked out last night. One small problem, he is EXACTLY half my age. Toy boy is nice, but Oedipal is a little too freaky




I'm guessing it does wonders for self-esteem though! Yay for FMF!

In response to the equality at work thing. In my, admittedly limited, experience in retail I found that staff were treated equally by other staff and management. However, customers were clearly discriminatory, going to women to complain, men for enquiries and generally seeking out older members of staff to assist. I was the youngest member of staff despite being floor manager on more than one occasion and the condescending manner in which I was treated was very derogatory. Luckily I had others watching out for me.

*****
Taya
*****
I'm going to S3!!!
(*Insert hysterical celebration dance here*)

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 3:59 AM

SOULQUAKE


Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
Tristan

I know it is awful to say, but I actually prefer working with men. We women are our own greatest enemy. I do not know why, but women do tend to sabatoge each other. Not all women, but enough to make life uncomfortable.

Ladies, do I speak truth?


You do! The worst job I worked was as a receptionist with a bunch of girls. It was insane, the backstabbing and gossip and, like you said, sabatoge. I was only there for less than two months, I left for different reasons, but I was glad to go!

---
"Sun came out, and I walked on my feet and heard with my ears. I ate the bits, the bits stayed down, and I work. I function like I'm a girl. I hate it because I know it'll go away."

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 4:02 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


Taya, I admit that it was smile inspiring. But it is weird. I am thinking that he doesn't know how old I am. My kids tell me that I don't look 40.

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 4:10 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Well, is this guy older than your kids?
My mom was asked out by a 19-year-old a few years back. At the time my brother was 24-ish, don't quite remember when it was. Anyway she went to lunch with this kid and flat out told him she had a son who was several years older than him. Apparently he nearly went into shock.
There's an interesting subject. How do people here feel about age differences? Personally I don't mind a few years older, actually more likely to connect with folk a few years older than me. And as long as they aren't too much older than my brother (who is coming up on 28 now) it's shiny. Anyone too old shows interest in me and I have to closely examine the creepiness factor before I can say it's shiny. I'm sure it will continue to be less important as I get older.

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 4:21 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


My oldest is 17. He will be 18 in August. My boys are very protective of me, seeing as how their dad has gone all bibbledy on us. Not sure how they would feel about it. My "borrowed" daughter thinks it HI-larious. We were laughing last night. I told her I couldn't bring him home and she said, so don't bring him home. Then I told her I was too old for the backseat and I couldn't go home with him - casue he probably lived with his mother. She started laughing so hard she could barely get out "Shh, don't wake my mom!"

I like to look at younger me. I think anyone younger than 30 is to young for me. Just different places in life. I like older men, as long as the don't act old.

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 4:33 AM

SHEPHERD2BE


Having worked only in mixed workplaces I can offer only the following about an all female workplace:
About 2 months ago my mother called me at work and asked me to send flowers to her office. I quickly tried to figure out what I had done or forgotten to do.

Nothing it turns out. She just has an all female office and sends herself flowers about once every three weeks. Why? Because everyone in her office is a busybody. They gossip back and forth and have to know every facet of each others lives.

When her flowers arrive everyone makes a point to stop into her office and try to read the card which she has removed and it drives them insane or at least more insane than her, that is.


As far as inequality goes, it has taken me 3 years at my current job to reach the salary level of my female predecessor who left after 8 months with the office in shambles. So here I sit surfing the net, posting and looking for another job instead of actually accomplishing my work.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Send lawyers, guns, and money

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 4:46 AM

MERCURY002


Yes ive noticed that women tend to do the whole back stab thing rather well and not just between women but they can also pick on guys, very nastily and destroy self confidence like a dog with a chew toy, i do perfer working with guys in that sense but the conversation is a lot smaller if you know what i mean. The guy way of solving work problems is much better, confrontation and talking to someone rather than it building up and ending in a fight for sure. i have also noticed that guys in the office can also tend to stop women from stabbing eachother in the back but women cant seem to stop it i dunno why.

Simon:"If the battle was so horrible, why did he name the ship after it?"
Zoe:"Once you've been in serenity you never leave"

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 6:24 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


I work in a Female dominated office and despite being fairly close knit I do see the cattiness from time to time. Oh well, you can't stop human nature.
FMF: Too bad you don't live close. I have a few uncles and cousins that are single/divorced that you might be interested in.
TRISTAN: Good day from the Battle Born State.
COPILOT: Sorry to hear of all your misfortune. F'em, SMILE.

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 6:30 AM

TRISTAN


The age difference thing has never bothered me. I have said before that my wife is ten years younger than I am, and both of us are alright with that. There is culture shock every now and then , but nothing serious. Keeps the relationship interestin'!
Love is age-blind, or should be, but people can be petty and not understand this. I have no problem seeing a person with someone half their age, as long as they are happy together. (This is of course assuming the age difference does not dip into the "underage").

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 6:32 AM

DEEPGIRL187


Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
We women are our own greatest enemy. I do not know why, but women do tend to sabatoge each other. Not all women, but enough to make life uncomfortable.


*holds up boombox blasting Lit*

"It's no surprise to me, I am my own worst enemy"

Sorry, just had to do that. Never a dull moment in the imponderables thread.

It's funny, I've never had to deal with much bullying (fortunately), or the female back-stabbing business. Of course, when I was younger I mostly hung out with men, so I guess I kind of insulated myself from that sort of thing. To this day, I tend to understand men more than I do women, despite the fact that I am (obviously) female. That being said, I have another imponderable. In general, do you guys find it easier to understand and form relationships with the opposite sex or your own?

Edit: Guns trained and ready at the target, Copilot. And by the way, I'd suggest listening to some Paula Cole, particularly from her album "This Fire". I worked through a couple years of depression and repressed anger listening to that album alone.

**************************************************

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 6:37 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


NV

Yummy! I will be right over!

*FMF jumps in shuttle and heads west*

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 6:38 AM

RHYIANAN


As far as age differences go, I think that the older you get, the less it matters. I mean, you don't want a 13 year old going out with someone that is 20, but the same age difference is less of an issue when the people involved are 22 and 29.

Other than that, it's a matter of perspective and the particular people involved. My parents have an age difference of 11 years and they are very happy with each other.

Edit: Tristan beat me to it.

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 6:53 AM

TRISTAN


DeepGirl, I generally find it easier to have relationships with females than my own. I do have several close male friends...more like brothers, actually. Being where I am, the general likes are NASCAR, football, Hooter's girls, and beer...none of these things are in the forefront of my likes or desires. Well, maybe Hooter's girls, every now and then . Seriously, though, I cook, sew, clean, and would rather discuss history than the latest game scores, so very few males around here relate to me. There are a few, and we have found each other, but we are a minority. Females, on the other hand, are a lot more complex and interesting. I am not trying to slam my fellow males, but there are times when it seems the more of them you get together, the lower the common intellect becomes. That is one reason I love being on this site. Everyone I have chatted with has been extremely articulate (naked, too?) and straightforward. IRL, this is not always the case. So, IRL, yes, I find it easier to have relationships with females than males.

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 7:22 AM

QUEENOFTHENORTH


Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
[I know it is awful to say, but I actually prefer working with men. We women are our own greatest enemy. I do not know why, but women do tend to sabatoge each other. Not all women, but enough to make life uncomfortable.

Ladies, do I speak truth?


You absolutely speak the truth. I've never really worked in an all female place, but I attended a specialized college course that was just 30 girls in all the same classes. The pettiness and backstabbing and arguing was unbelievable. I was one of the few that managed to get along with everybody. I was getting really sick of it by the end though. *shudders in memory*

Anyways, I am also looking for advice as to where to find decent available guys, as my life is seriously lacking in menfolk. Any tips?

"I'm having one of those things - a headache with pictures."

"Of course I'm right. And if I'm not, may we all be horribly crushed from above somehow."

Like books? Go to this thread: http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=14862
to find out how to buy mine!

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 7:44 AM

MAL4PREZ


Hi all! Been busy with fic and work the last few days, so many new topics!!

gender/workplace - as a woman in science, I've had some problems here. The thing I've found, especially in the past year when I've twice been in charge of fieldwork, is that men as leaders (warning - gross generalization here!!) tend to have a Plan. I have more of a direction, which I allow to shift as I go along, based on how things are going, the weather, etc.

But some of the men working for me get very distressed over this. So I have to give them a solid plan, then when things change the next day I update the plan, etc. And they seem better with that.

It seems that if I don't directly tell these guys what to do, they are eager to assume I'm clueless and try to take over. It's annoying.

Keep in mind these are scientists I'm talking about, and sometimes not the most socially well adjusted...

FMF - dating. Sigh. I'm also in a 'dead zone'. My gay best friend, who has the same difficulty I do about finding 30-something year old single men, got on match.com and has a few dates this week. Anyone have theories about that? Personal ad type things just sound scary to me.

Violence and bullying - so, I was a shy one when young, people could be mean to me and I'd never defend myself. I learned to play ice hockey in college, and somehow being the situation where large people (male and female!) are running into me and trying to knock me down kind of made me braver, physically and socially.

If you're being bullied, I highly recommend learning a martial art or a sport that involves learning to face confrontation, just so you don't go into panic mode in those situations. Hopefully, you'll never have to throw a punch (I never have) but the confidence and lack of fear will show.

Whew. More fun topics guys!

oh and copilot - many hugs and kisses! And I say go ahead and be angry. Don't stifle it, and it'll run itself out in time.

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 9:27 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Calling all Browncoats. I am going on a lunch date Friday and I am nervous (only a little, no big thing). Just need some encouragement. Funny, I can be in complete mortal danger, but something as simple as lunch has me nervous.

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 9:35 AM

TRISTAN


NVGhostrider, all will be well! You are a suave, debonair Browncoat; unable to be fazed by a lunch date. You will woo this woman with your humor, witty conversation, and dashing good looks. She will laugh at the jokes, engage in satisfying verbal sparring with you, and will be attracted to the wonderful person you are.
Be yourself, enjoy her presence, and don't try too hard.

We expect full details upon your return!

Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 10:00 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Thank you sir for the note of encouragement. Needless to say this is the same woman that stood me up a few Saturdays ago so my anxiety level is a little imbalanced.

And yes full details will follow.

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 10:33 AM

MAL4PREZ


If she stood you up, she should be nervous, not you!

I have to say, you sound like an awesome guy. If I wasn't most of a continent away, I'd knock her down and take her place!

So there - she's a lucky girl. Have fun!


-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 10:46 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Thanks for the ups M4P. Now I'm all amped. Looks like I'm going to the range tonight.

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 4:59 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Awwwww, so many people having dates! Yay!
I wanna have a date...
I will add my inquiry to the others here; where the heck am I s'posed to meet folk? I swear I've tried all venues. Not much luck with dating sites (they always look better in their personal than when I meet them, at least so far in my experience) not much luck hanging around my local hot-spot coffee shop (last time I went the only guy to talk to me ended up being a few peas short of a casserole. Really, he was out of his mind) No one talks to me at the bookstore (and here I thought hanging around the scifi books wearing my coat would be an ideal way to meet folk with some kind of similar interest) And I'm still looking for a new job that will hopefully have more interesting people. Or really, any people. Currently on the lonely graveyard shift, which I didn't mind before, but now I itch for more human contact, being so recently singlefied. Maybe I'll meet some folk when I finally get back into school? Never had too much luck with that before, but I guess you never know.
Okay, I ranted, sorry. Any advice?

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 10:12 PM

MERCURY002


wow this thread is getting big fast as well, 90 posts already, how many new threads will we have to set up before we solw down?

Simon:"If the battle was so horrible, why did he name the ship after it?"
Zoe:"Once you've been in serenity you never leave"

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 10:43 PM

EMMARIGBY


Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
Awwwww, so many people having dates! Yay!
I wanna have a date...
I will add my inquiry to the others here; where the heck am I s'posed to meet folk? I swear I've tried all venues. Not much luck with dating sites (they always look better in their personal than when I meet them, at least so far in my experience) not much luck hanging around my local hot-spot coffee shop (last time I went the only guy to talk to me ended up being a few peas short of a casserole. Really, he was out of his mind) No one talks to me at the bookstore (and here I thought hanging around the scifi books wearing my coat would be an ideal way to meet folk with some kind of similar interest) And I'm still looking for a new job that will hopefully have more interesting people. Or really, any people. Currently on the lonely graveyard shift, which I didn't mind before, but now I itch for more human contact, being so recently singlefied. Maybe I'll meet some folk when I finally get back into school? Never had too much luck with that before, but I guess you never know.
Okay, I ranted, sorry. Any advice?

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.


Your story sounds suspiciously like my own. Are you serrupticiously stealing my life? You can have it, I don't seem to be using it!

I agree that it's almost impossible to meet new people in a social context. I live in a very remote area. There are no local shops, pubs or clubs that I can hang out in regularly so if I go out looking for such places it involved a scary effort of will (and I'm not good at those) and usually fails because I'm too nervous to talk to anyone. Not tried internet dating yet but am becoming more tempted as my life zips away from me.

I too thought that getting back into Uni would help me meet new people but I ended up doing a course where I'm the one and only student so, not so much!!

My last best hope is the Serenity3 convention this summer. After all, there'll be lots of Browncoats there and we all know they make the best mates! Plus I'll have my shiney new friends Tayeatra and Leaina to protect me from potential Reavers. I'd settle for Sean's (Simon!) number! Anyone know if he's single?

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 10:53 PM

VINTERDRAKEN


I hoped to meet some interesting people when I was at the uni. Cant really say I did though. I know alot of good people at the Uni its just that I meet them all elsewhere .
Im actually having a bit of the same problem. Mostly cause I live in the town of no single people, wich is annoying. And since I dont like longdistance relationships.. I meet people these days via Larps and fairs that I work/visit. Other then that I dont know, could always hang in bars I guess. Not really my thing though, never got how to meet people in bars I just go there to get drunk with my pals

You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 10:53 PM

VINTERDRAKEN


I hoped to meet some interesting people when I was at the uni. Cant really say I did though. I know alot of good people at the Uni its just that I meet them all elsewhere .
Im actually having a bit of the same problem. Mostly cause I live in the town of no single people, wich is annoying. And since I dont like longdistance relationships.. I meet people these days via Larps and fairs that I work/visit. Other then that I dont know, could always hang in bars I guess. Not really my thing though, never got how to meet people in bars I just go there to get drunk with my pals

You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 10:53 PM

VINTERDRAKEN


I hoped to meet some interesting people when I was at the uni. Cant really say I did though. I know alot of good people at the Uni its just that I meet them all elsewhere .
Im actually having a bit of the same problem. Mostly cause I live in the town of no single people, wich is annoying. And since I dont like longdistance relationships.. I meet people these days via Larps and fairs that I work/visit. Other then that I dont know, could always hang in bars I guess. Not really my thing though, never got how to meet people in bars I just go there to get drunk with my pals

You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 10:53 PM

VINTERDRAKEN


I hoped to meet some interesting people when I was at the uni. Cant really say I did though. I know alot of good people at the Uni its just that I meet them all elsewhere .
Im actually having a bit of the same problem. Mostly cause I live in the town of no single people, wich is annoying. And since I dont like longdistance relationships.. I meet people these days via Larps and fairs that I work/visit. Other then that I dont know, could always hang in bars I guess. Not really my thing though, never got how to meet people in bars I just go there to get drunk with my pals

You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 10:53 PM

VINTERDRAKEN


I hoped to meet some interesting people when I was at the uni. Cant really say I did though. I know alot of good people at the Uni its just that I meet them all elsewhere .
Im actually having a bit of the same problem. Mostly cause I live in the town of no single people, wich is annoying. And since I dont like longdistance relationships.. I meet people these days via Larps and fairs that I work/visit. Other then that I dont know, could always hang in bars I guess. Not really my thing though, never got how to meet people in bars I just go there to get drunk with my pals

You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 10:53 PM

VINTERDRAKEN


I hoped to meet some interesting people when I was at the uni. Cant really say I did though. I know alot of good people at the Uni its just that I meet them all elsewhere .
Im actually having a bit of the same problem. Mostly cause I live in the town of no single people, wich is annoying. And since I dont like longdistance relationships.. I meet people these days via Larps and fairs that I work/visit. Other then that I dont know, could always hang in bars I guess. Not really my thing though, never got how to meet people in bars I just go there to get drunk with my pals

You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 11:30 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Eurgh. Well, glad I'm not the only one with the problem, then. I don't go to bars. Have to say I would truly, truly prefer to date someone who didn't drink or anything. Substances and I don't get along.
Convention! Yeah, that'd be nice! I'm all for a Browncoat mate. Too bad most of 'em are in California, which is exactly 1126 miles from me. Give or take. Boo sad me.
Yeah, I'd like Sean's number, too. (Or Summer's for that matter ) Most folk don't really date fan girls, I bet, but how shiny would that be?

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

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Thursday, May 25, 2006 11:52 PM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


Despite the fact that my bullying boss was a woman, I have to disagree on the women at work being overly bitchy thing. I've worked for all female offices, all male (except for little me) offices and a mix of both and I've never really found a difference.

Men and women ~do~ tend to deal with things in different ways, and women can be pretty bitchy when things go wrong, but the atmosphere wherever I worked always depended on the people involved. In the place where I was bullied there were some amazing women who would never backstab, never bitch and kept their gosspip to the giggly, non-nasty kind. And then there were some absolute hellhounds who delighted in stirring up trouble, manipulated the people around them every way they could and generally spread misery wherever they want.

As for equality, I can't speak for the US since I live in Ireland, but here women still aren't paid as much as men. It's stupid, but it's still the general rule. It's hard to prove individual cases though, so it's taking a long time to sort out. That being said, we have manditory maternity leave for women who choose to have families so that cuts out a lot of hassle our US counterparts have to deal with. The downside is that some companies can be reluctant to promote women to high level or specialised positions, since hiring a guy cuts out the possibility of having to hire someone to cover the role for nine months somewhere down the line.

I'm working for another woman in a much smaller business than the one I was at. It's mostly women here (it's an IT training company) and they're all the sweetest people alive. Mind you, so are the guys!

Desktop Hippie: at one with the 'verse

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Friday, May 26, 2006 12:58 AM

NUCLEARDAY


About meeting people: I've been down that road many a time since I graduated college. Was real easy to meet people when I was going to school, but once I started doing the night-shift thing my social circle consisted of my brother, my sister, and her boyfriend. :P

Can't offer much in the way of advice, I guess. I never found anything that worked too well, especially when it came to finding dates. I swear there's a universal law that the more obsessed you get with scoring a date somewhere, the harder it is find someone. And of course, at least for me, it's when I decide I'm going to take some time off and specifically not look for some romance that people start popping out of the woodwork :P

________________________________________________
You can take my Browncoat when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. (Or if Kaylee asks me nicely...)

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Friday, May 26, 2006 3:49 AM

TRISTAN


Everyone I ever dated I met through school (high school and university). I was never one for going to bars or really socializing outside the Drama department. I have no real advice on meeting people...but if I did, I would say use this board. I know, too much distance between people...hey, for once in all these posts, I am unable to put my two cents in...

I'll be over here, enjoying my coffee...sorry!


Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Friday, May 26, 2006 4:29 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


OK

Now I am embarrased. My kids have put me on Yahoo Personals. Now I am getting ebombed.

I must steal River6213's weapons, for there are some teenagers what need whoopin!

http://search.personals.yahoo.com/us/results/results?resulttype=1&sear
chsource=1&searchview=1&r_gender=1&r_gender_pref=2&r_min_age=38&r_max_age=43&r_has_photo=2&r_locid=24007243&r_loc_ver=2&r_language_pref=1&use_compat=0&&alt_nsi=&advanced=1

I am the first one.

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

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Friday, May 26, 2006 4:38 AM

TRISTAN


If I weren't happily married to a woman who could kill me with her pinky...wow! I can see why you are getting e-bombed!

You should have something on their about being a browncoat...might drive off some of the less desirables.



Holding until you get back, Captain.

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Friday, May 26, 2006 4:41 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION




Thank you. You are very kind.

Well, I don't know the password. I will get it from them before I put an end to them! I guess that would work!

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

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Friday, May 26, 2006 4:43 AM

DEEPGIRL187


You'll be meeting Prince Charming in no time. Who knows, you might even get a response from a certain swai captain...

**************************************************

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

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