Match Firefly character with Trek technology by reginaroadie

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Match Firefly character with Trek technology

POSTED BY: REGINAROADIE
UPDATED: Friday, January 19, 2007 11:19
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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 8:08 AM

Hey All

Was posting on the Happy Birthday Trek thread, and I made a comment on the holodeck. And it got me thinking.

If the characters of Firefly were transported to the universe of STAR TREK, and they had access to Trek tech, who would use what?

Maybe with the holodeck, Jayne would be going through all the pronographic simulations, but I think Wash would be the one hogging all the free time on it by creating his own little Jurassic Park program. It would be like in FUTURAMA, where Fry got to ride a T-Rex, but in the future, it's the equivalent of a kiddie ride. And some little girl goes "Mommy, why is that man acting crazy?"

Well, Wash would be like that. I can imagine a long line of people wanting to use the holodeck, but they can't because Wash is in there riding on the back of the T-Rex from JURASSIC PARK and indulging in his base childhood fantasy, screaming at the top of his lungs "Bow before me, puny mortals".

Also, on a side note, Jayne would probably spend most of the time arguing with a Vulcan (I'm thinking Tuvok) and getting angrier and angerier while the Vulcan just remains calm and collected.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"There's only one "Return" ok, and it ain't "of the King", it's "of the Jedi."

"Maybe we should start calling your friend 'Padme' because he loves 'Mannequin Skywalker' so much, Right? (imitating robot) Danger...danger...my name is Anakin...my shitty acting is ruining saga."

Excerpt of internet teaser for CLERKS 2.

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 8:12 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE

River would use the transporter to "just fade away..."

EDIT: Not a techie thing, but I would pay good money to see Dienna Troi trying to counsel River. Cuz that would just be funny.

More animations available at http://desktophippie.googlepages.com

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 8:12 AM

ADAMWANKENOBI

Kaylee would simulate a garden full of strawberries.

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 8:15 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE

Actually, can you imagine Kaylee's face if she saw an antimatter engine?

More animations available at http://desktophippie.googlepages.com

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 9:52 AM

DUG

Actually I can hear her:

"What do you mean, you don't use screws and bolts anymore?! I can see the how of it, but why? What happens if you lose power to those fancy force fields? You're whole ship comes apart? Now that's "junk".

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 10:50 AM

STILLFLYIN

What I see is Jayne blasting away with phasers and torpedos at any thing that moves, laughing crazily.

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 10:50 AM

SPACEANJL

Wash and holo-dinosaurs, oh yeah. But I can imagine him wanting to fly the Enterprise. "It goes how fast? Oooh, can we?"

Jayne, confronted with Klingon food. Actually, Jayne and Klingons. And romulan ale. He'd probably end up an honorary member of some clan. I can totally see him with one of those axes (which I can't spell)

There was more but the whole Jayne as Klingon thing has shorted out my brain. I need to go and lie down and think...clean thoughts...

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 11:18 AM

RMMC

Taking bets on how many minutes it would take Jayne to start a brawl in 10 Foward.

Simon would be in 7th heaven in sick bay. Wonder how long he'd be in there before coming up for air?

*******
RMMC

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 11:19 AM

KAYNA

I love my captain

The Jayne as a Klingon thig could be interesting but I recall them having that honor thing (so they claimed at least) and facing death and all that.

I imagine he'd also have a bit of a problem with that "synthahol" crap. Actually. I think they all might be somewhat less than enthusiastic about it.

Now Zoe might get along well with some Kilngons. And I imagine Inara would fit right in with all those federation types. Imagine how some of the men from those shows would react to her. You know, Kirk and Riker and the like.

Now how do you think Simon would react to the medical technology? He'd either be completey in love or feel somewhat lost and useless.

And DTH, I too would pay to see Troi attempt to counsel River. I think River might break something in the poor womans mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Op: You're fighting a war you've already lost.
Mal: Yeah, well I'm known for that.

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 11:43 AM

SPACEANJL

I can see Zoe beating up a persistent Klingon, and promptly finding she has a fan club.

Or River beating up a Klingon. That would be fun.

heh - imagine a Vulcan mind-meld with River.

Jayne and Orion girls - "hey, Mal, they got green ones..."

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 11:55 AM

SIMONWHO

Jayne and Kirk would be bosom buddies. They'd probably go Klingon hunting together.

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 12:21 PM

REGINAROADIE

Actually, I think he'd split his time between holo-dino's and maybe having a TOP GUN-like flying competition between him and Tom Paris. And maybe partaking in Paris' Captain Proton simulations.

And I think once he hears about the "slingshot around the sun" time travel methos, he'd be itching to try it out. Of course, the Enterprise and a Klingon Bird of Prey could barely survive it, I'm not sure how Serenity would fare.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
(In response to Tom Paris' assertions that Captain Proton has social and historical significance)

The Doctor: Maybe you should teach a course at Starfleet. "Satanic Robots and Historical Overview."

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 12:24 PM

REGINAROADIE

(Tuvok attempting to mind meld with River)

Tuvok: Concentrate...our minds...our thoughts...are-(GASP) HOLY SHIT!!!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"There's only one "Return" ok, and it ain't "of the King", it's "of the Jedi."

"Maybe we should start calling your friend 'Padme' because he loves 'Mannequin Skywalker' so much, Right? (imitating robot) Danger...danger...my name is Anakin...my shitty acting is ruining saga."

Excerpt of internet teaser for CLERKS 2.

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 12:40 PM

WASHSYOUNGERSEXIERBR

Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges

Id love to see Kaylee in the engine room!!

Kaylee:your uniforms are awful clean. Wheres the grease?? The Oil??

Jayne would break several touch screens by pressing too hard.

Shepard book would argue with Kirk

Kirk:trust me ive seen God hes not that special

www.myspace.com/didxl
sexier.younger.brother@hotmail.co.uk

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 12:42 PM

FREDGIBLET

Jayne: Loves Phasers, loves the holodeck for the combat and sex simulations, loves replicators because he can get something other than protein.

Mal: Loves cloaking devices because they help you sneak around, loves warp drives because they help you get away from Reavers, loves shields because they could help keep Serenity in one piece, loves replicators because he can get something other than protein

Zoe: Loves Phasers, loves shields (particularly if they are man-portable (i.e. Borg-style)), loves replicators because she could get something other than protein

Book: Probably wouldn't care too much

Wash: Loves warp drives because they go fast, loves shields because they keep his ship from having chunks blown out of it, loves replicators because he could get something other than protein, loves the holodek because he can indulge his adolescent fantasies

Simon: Loves the sickbay because it can help him figure out how to fix River (we don't actually know if the Federation has more advanced medical stuff than the Alliance, but I'd guess it's a fairly safe bet), loves replicators because he can get something other than protein

River: Doesn't really notice...

Kaylee: Falls in love with every piece of technology she sees

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 1:16 PM

SIMMY

And Inara could have a really snazzy dazzy shuttle... if Picard would give her one. Which, I think he would under some kind of very dignified (and clandestine) rental agreement...

Kirk would give her anything she asked for.

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 1:24 PM

MYCROFTXXX

Match character with Trek Technology (TNG):

Mal -> Photon Torpedos "if we had these during the war there wouldn't be any gorram Alliance!"

Zoe -> Phaser pistols "uh huh, and if we had these shiny little puppies we would've whipped their a**es in Serenity valley!"

Wash -> Replicators "so, I can make as many plastic dinosaurs and tropical shirts as I want?"

Inara -> Holodeck... smooching with her holo-Mal.

Kaylee -> Wesley... in the engine room... in the nearest Jeffreys tube.

River -> Data "I'm trying to read your mind but I'm getting nuthin'"

Simon -> Synthahol. In Ten Forward talking to Guinan, "I once attached a girl's leg, her whole leg..."

Book -> Ten Forward "There be Heathens a plenty here!"

Jayne -> nuthin' "What do ya mean y'all don't use money? Where's the profit in that?"

Badger -> possibilities "Hey Jayne, there's these blokes called the Ferengi. Sounds like our kinda people!"

--

Given a choice between the earth-that-is and the 'verse-that-will-be I'll take the latter.

宁静

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 2:29 PM

REGINAROADIE

As for SImon adn the medical bay, he'd like and dislike it. He'd like it in that they'd have advanced technology that could help River in repairing the damage caused to her. Maybe grow a new amygdyla. But he personally wouldn't like the fact that it's not as hands on as he's used to. Bones or The Doctor would criticize him as being an "elaborate butcher", and Simon would resent the idea of a hologram being the cheif medical officer.

And I think Kaylee's too hung up on Simon to notice a little pipsqueak like Wesley.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"There's only one "Return" ok, and it ain't "of the King", it's "of the Jedi."

"Maybe we should start calling your friend 'Padme' because he loves 'Mannequin Skywalker' so much, Right? (imitating robot) Danger...danger...my name is Anakin...my shitty acting is ruining saga."

Excerpt of internet teaser for CLERKS 2.

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 2:55 PM

PENGUIN

King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 3:01 PM

VERSEEXPLORER

One of my favorite Troi quotes is, "I never met a chocolate that I didn't like." I can see her walking along nibbling on a chocolate bar and bumping into Kaylee with a basket of strawberries.

Kaylee: You got chocolate in my strawberries.
Troi: You got strawberries on my chocolate.

Hmmmm! What a great friendship.

_______________________________
Mal: Saffron, you're pleasing, you're all kinds of pleasing, and uhh...it's been awhile, a long damn while, since anybody but me took a hold of my plow.

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 3:47 PM

STINKINGROSE

Mal to Kirk: "You should come see the crappy 'Verse where I'm a big damned hero".

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Wednesday, September 6, 2006 3:59 PM

TRAVELER

Maybe in the future Kaylee actually invents the warp drive. Then Mal would walk in and say "Were there space monkeys?" And there would be all these coils hanging from the ceiling. And the engine just humming away like supercharged dragster.

Traveler

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Thursday, September 7, 2006 2:08 PM

STINKINGROSE

But what would that produce if you went for full burn in atmo?

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Thursday, January 18, 2007 11:34 AM

STILLFLYIN

Bad stuff would probably go down, man.

Other Intersting 'Verse/Trek Situations

River fighting Borg, ultimate carnage.
Shepherd Book talking to Sisko about The Prophets
Simon, Kim and Geordi bemoaning their girl problems together.
Kaylee trying to get Tuvok to laugh.
The look on Zoe's face the first time Mal called her "Number One"
Jayne talking to Chief O'Brian about the transporters. "They do what"
Mal getting into a duel with a Klingon who talks about Inara. "Use of a Ba-What"
Wash in front of the helm looking for the yoke and asking where the switches are.
Inara trying to break up a fight between Riker and Mal.

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Thursday, January 18, 2007 2:57 PM

CYBERSNARK

Deanna and Inara discussing gender politics.

And actually, we don't know what happens if you try to create a warp bubble in atmo.

I forsee three possibilities:
1) Antimatter explosion, brought on by instability in the field structure. Ship go boom, everything within X# of miles go boom. People cry.

2) Successful warp field, but massive shockwaves flatten everything within X# of miles, and the ignition flash (without the vacuum of space to bleed it off) melts the warp manifolds (and probably the coils too), so your warp drive loses stability after a few seconds and you either get dropped back to impulse hard enough to short the inertial dampers and SIF, or the warp plasma feeds back into the M/ARC and the ship goes boom.

3) Nothing happens 'cause the warp coils can't generate a stable tachion bubble.

(And yes, I completely understand everything I just said. I speak fluent technobabble. S.C.E.; Have tech, will travel.)

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Friday, January 19, 2007 9:47 AM

NEWOLDBROWNCOAT

ya know what Kaylee would really like ? Deep Space 9. She could admire Chief O'Brien's brillinat improvisations and repairs, , then fix whatever was left to do, or improve on what he did.

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Friday, January 19, 2007 9:54 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE

I'm still thinking about River and Guinan.

Just think about it. River and Guinan. Chatting away to each other in ten-forward. Imagine the possibilities!

Graphics available at www.desktophippie.com

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Friday, January 19, 2007 10:23 AM

CYBERSNARK

I miss Guinan.

And everybody would love DS9. Kaylee would love chatting with either O'Brien (Old Chief) or Nog (New Chief[*]), Jayne would be renting holosuite programs from Quark, Wash & Zoe would be hitting Vic's for an evening of classy entertainment (slinky dress!), Simon and Bashir would trade stories about being geniuses, having horrible luck with women, or having to keep an eye on the babbling insane (pick one), Mal would be trading witty barbs with Quark (and Odo, depending on if he's around), Kira and/or Sisko would be giving Book a tour of the Temple (and they might encounter Garak, who, like Shepherd Book, has no secrets worth telling

). Pre-finale, Inara would be checking out Garak's shop for some new clothes, or meeting delegations from the Gamma Quadrant. Post-finale, she'd probably be hanging out with Treir (the station's resident Orion female), trading stories and verbal jousts.

River would be. . . either talking to Vic about holograms and self-awareness or having a very polite, civil discussion with Taran'Atar about killing a great number of people in a very short span of time.

(* Technically, Nog is a lieutenant, but the chief engineer of DS9 will always be referred to as "Chief," in honour of O'Brien.)

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Friday, January 19, 2007 11:19 AM

CHOO1701

lol. Always wondered what would happen if Firefly had been set in the Star Trek universe.

Sort of Serenity as a old Klingon Bird of Prey and Mal and Zoe were veterns of the Dominion War. Wash with warp speed and Kaylee breaking the laws of psychics! lol. love to see that. oh, and maybe Simon and River as Andorians (two by two hands of blue

) and Jayne as a Klingon, would certainly kick the crap out of many people, and with honour and drink of course

BTW: if you havn't noticed yet: I have a VERY twisted mind

-----------------------------

TRAIN!!!
Remember: When introducing Zoe to your shiny new ship, pay attention to where she's pointing when she says "What is that?" That's where you're going to be laying, bleeding someday.

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