CAPTION TIGHTPANTS RISE AGAIN #9! by TenthCrewMember

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

CAPTION TIGHTPANTS RISE AGAIN #9!

POSTED BY: TENTHCREWMEMBER
UPDATED: Thursday, December 7, 2006 20:46
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 11534
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Monday, November 27, 2006 4:26 AM

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

A hard drive is a nothin' part...until you ain't got one...well now I got a new one and got my Serenity (PC) up and runnin' again, and so Caption Tightpants can go for hard burn again!

Here is the winner of week 8:

Great job CHOO1701!!! And now for week 9 hi-larity, we go back to our namesake, ol' Tighty his own self...

MAL: Y'know, when I said "polish my pistol", I wasn't bein' literal-like...

Okay, let's see y'all top that!

BWAH!

TCM

http://www.cafepress.com/10thcrew

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Monday, November 27, 2006 6:51 AM

TEACHDAIRE

Woohoo!!! I get firsties...

Mal> No more guns until you're better. If you wanna kill somebody, hit 'em...

Or

Mal> Kaylee, I know you're an ace mechanic, but this is NOT a hammer...

-------------------------------------------------
For every battle honour, a thousand heroes die along, unremembered and unsung...

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Monday, November 27, 2006 7:07 AM

THEREALME

Mal's new career at juggling loaded firearms was about to come to an abrupt end.

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Monday, November 27, 2006 7:46 AM

ASARIAN

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

MAL: "You know what the first rule of shooting is? ... Don't hold your gun like this."

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Monday, November 27, 2006 7:53 AM

CHOO1701

WAHOO!!! i won!!! cheers to everyone who voted. Thank You

on with the show

Mal hated it when his pants got THAT tight..

or

Everyone hated it when 25ft wolfman stood up in the cinema audience. AGAIN!!!

(whats with all the hair 10CM???

)

and

Strange, all River could hear when Mal was talking was "boobies"....

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Monday, November 27, 2006 8:03 AM

ASARIAN

Quote:
Originally posted by Choo1701:

WAHOO!!! i won!!! cheers to everyone who voted. Thank You

And congratulations to you! Well deserved. :)

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Monday, November 27, 2006 8:30 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE

Mal: (very slowly) You ain't allowed touch guns because you are cuckoo! Dong ma? Say it with me now! (in high pitched River voice) Cuckoo! No touching guns! Cuckoo! No touching guns!

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Monday, November 27, 2006 8:42 AM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER

Quote:
Originally posted by Choo1701:

Mal hated it when his pants got THAT tight..

or

Everyone hated it when 25ft wolfman stood up in the cinema audience. AGAIN!!!

(whats with all the hair 10CM??? )

and

Strange, all River could hear when Mal was talking was "boobies"....

It was at times like this River wished some of the voices in her head weren't raving nympomanaic describing how they would really make Mal's pants tight....

Literature has shown us some of humanity's greatest achievements; history, some of our greatest failures -- Alun Lewis

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Monday, November 27, 2006 8:47 AM

CHOO1701

Firefly DVDs: £17.00
large bag of crisps: £2.50
Stopping the Firefly DVD's at the EXACT moment: Priceless

or

Mal was really lost with words when River decided to rip off all her clothes in the middle of gun training...

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Monday, November 27, 2006 10:35 AM

DEBBIE

Mal: Oh, well, all righty then, now that you've made that perfectly clear on how you can kill with your brain, I suspect there's no reason for you to need a gun.

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Monday, November 27, 2006 10:54 AM

MSG

Quote:

"Zoe, when I said practical joke involving firearm...I didn't mean MINE!! Doc you got Jayne's man bits back on yet?"

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."- Albright

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Monday, November 27, 2006 11:06 AM

CHOO1701

Mal always hated it when he forgot that pistol was part of a pair

or

Mal: No. Touching.... ....
Zoe (os): guns sir?
Mal: yeah...guns...i knew that...

and

Mal hated it when he forgot to put the safety on on his own gun..

-----------------------------

TRAIN!!!

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Monday, November 27, 2006 11:19 AM

MAZAEN

Mal, "River, this is not where the chocolate bullets go."

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Monday, November 27, 2006 11:21 AM

DAYVE

.....and when you run out of bullets just poke em in the eye with it.... handy for crackin walnuts, too....

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Monday, November 27, 2006 5:17 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

(in a New Kids on the Block style Mal sings...)

NO-O-O-O-OOOO
NO-O-O-OOO
NO-O-O-O-OOOO
Touch-ing guns...

OR

Mal: Now River, if you want to kill folk proper like, you need to use a g-
*River grabs his gonads*
Mal"-unnnhhh...or...we...could...talk...more...

OR

*BLAM!*
Mal: Ai ya! I just shot Jayne!
River: Uh huh!
Mal: Tell me he died.
River: Nuh uh.
Mal: Okay, don't move! If we stand still he can't see us!
River: Time to go home. *turns to leave*
Mal: Wait! Don't go! Go se!

BWAH!

TCM

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Monday, November 27, 2006 6:40 PM

CUNNINGORANGETOQUE

MAL:"See this? This is NOT something to play keep-away with..."

OR

MAL:"Why did you take my disguised supersoaker, river."

RIVER:"I needed something to put in the bowl for the sleeping giant to put his hand in..."

JAYNE(os):"AUUUUGHHHH!!! MY SHEETS!!!!"

OR

MAL:"Silver BULLETS kill werewolves, not silver GUNS."

OR

NATHAN:"So i'm supposed to hold the slither gun and say, "No touching guns?"

JOSS(os):"Did you just say SLITHER?!?!?!"

NATHAN:"Silver...SILVER!!...crap...."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Creator of "THE OTHER SHINY CAPTION GAME"!
www.livejournal.com/users/the_zeppo01
Time for some thrilling heroics!
poor_noel2@hotmail.com

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Monday, November 27, 2006 7:12 PM

DAVESHAYNE

Rehearsal for the Serenity production of Annie Get Your Gun was proceeding nicely. Though there was some trepidation over the director's decision to cast River as Annie.

Summer: (singing) Anything you can do I can do better.

Mal: (also singing) I can do anything better than you.

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

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Monday, November 27, 2006 9:10 PM

JPSTARGAZER

Mal (singing): "Ooohhh, my handgun has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R..."

OR

Mal: "I swear, I will pistol-whip the next person who makes a wise-crack about my dress-wearing habits!"

OR

Mal focuses on River as she teaches him to juggle handguns. He refused to play second fiddle to Wash's geese juggling.

"All I got is a red guitar, three chords, and the truth...the rest is up to you"
--Bono

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Monday, November 27, 2006 9:22 PM

INEVERMARRIED

Mal (whilst moving the gun from one side to the other): "Now, River, you are feeeling veery sleepy..."
Zoe (OS): "That only works on Jayne, sir."
Mal: "....Frecking fricker-freck."

===================================================
~Do YOU know what the chain of command is?~

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Monday, November 27, 2006 9:33 PM

CHOO1701

Mal: heeelllllooo nurse!

and

Zoe (os): ah crap, better tell Inara her Mal-bot is lagging out again....

and

Mal: No, TOuching. Gun.
Gunn: someone call me?
Mal: ....

and

Mal: GUN! not sex toy. GUUUUUNNNNNN.

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Monday, November 27, 2006 10:19 PM

VERSEEXPLORER

Mal found it difficult to concentrate while staring at Inara's naked body.
Mal: Hooooooooters!

Help Spread the Word to Non Sci-Fi Fans
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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 2:30 PM

DEBBIE

Mal: No, this is not a gun it's a weapon, This is my gun and it's for fun!

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 2:39 PM

RHYIANAN

I'm trying to think of something witty, but no, can't, too much hair.........TCM can we put the hair away now?

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 4:07 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER

Mal: What the...gorram it! Who puts superglue on a handgun?!?

River: You ruined the suprise, Captain Daddy! Now I will have to figure out how to express my love for Jayne through pranks another way

Mal: Huh....

Literature has shown us some of humanity's greatest achievements; history, some of our greatest failures -- Alun Lewis

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 4:44 PM

FLORALBUNNY

Congrats, Choo!

MAL: All together, repeat after me: Re - sin - rep - lic - a

bun
~Bastards cast my turtle~

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 5:22 PM

CHOLLETT

Mal: "Jayne's got a lotta GUNS."
River: "I know.....

"
Mal: "......."

OR

Mal: "No touching gu...uhhhhh....whaaa?"
River (smirking devilishly): "I can do other things with only my brain too..."

OR (mind firmly OUT of the gutter)

Mal watched in awe as River demonstrated her skill in unwrapping a starburst...without her hands....

(ok maybe not)

I'm babbling like a moonbrain.

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 5:43 PM

WALRUS

Mal - "Right, now I don't want to single anyone out *JAYNE* but... Someone... Forgot to empty their pockets before they put out their laundry"

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 7:06 PM

MANWITHPEZ

Important people don't do field work.

Quote:

Things had gotten so bad on Serenity that Mal had taken to mugging people for money. His first victim: Cousin Itt.

OR

Malcolm Reynolds likes to stand in the doorway with a totally ineffective gun and say "BOO!"

OR

Mal: I swear to God, I'll pistol whip the next person that says Shenanigans!

Zoe (OS): Hmm..Jayne? What's the name of that restaurant you like with the mozzerella sticks and the goofy shit on the walls?

Jayne (OS): Shenanigans?

River: (Offering Mal a gun): Ohh hooh hoh!

Mal: Gimme that!

OR

Nathan (Singing): Take my gun...From my hand...Pistol-whip me where I stand...

Summer (Singing): I don't care...if you make more than me...

Nathan (Singing): She just slapped the crap outta me!!!

OR

Nathan couldn't help bragging to everyone about the Pez gun he had just won off of eBay.

Back with more later...

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 7:09 PM

THATWEIRDGIRL

Mal: Do doo doodoodoo doodoo doodoo, Can't touch this!

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
"...turn right at the corner then skip two blocks...no, SKIP, the hopping-like thing kids do...Why? Why not?"

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 8:51 PM

CHOO1701

Quote:
Originally posted by FloralBunny:
Congrats, Choo!

Cheers Floral

Now all Mal had to do was think of a way to act out "Navarone"

(BTW: does anyone still play charades anymore?)

-----------------------------

TRAIN!!!

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 10:00 PM

MISSTRESSAHARA

MAL singing:"One of these things is not like the other."

If I'm a bitch, then life just got interesting

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 11:30 PM

THEGREYJEDI

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

ZOE: *offscreen* Simon?

SIMON: I told him the pain medication was experimental, but he took it anyway... He looks like he's...hallucinating? *slips* Ew...is that drool?!

--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
http://www.cafepress.com/thegreyjedi

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006 3:48 AM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Mal: River, what did we tell you...you...*blink blink*...about...being...nekkid? Whoa...

OR

Mal: This is my gun and this is my pistol...one you can touch...
River: Hmmm. *pause* Give me the gun.
Mal: Awww...

BWAH!

TCM

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006 3:56 AM

DAYVE

GUM... I said bring me some GUM....!

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006 8:01 AM

MANWITHPEZ

Important people don't do field work.

Quote:

Much as he tugged and pulled, there was no removing the strange, gun shaped growth on the side of Malcolm Reynolds face.

OR

River: Where did you get that thing?

Mal: What? It's a squirt gun!
(BANG)

OR

Much as Malcolm Reynolds hated the law, Nathan Fillion had to leave the character behind in an effort to prepare for his numerous cop roles on film and TV. The guns helped.

OR

One Guy, One Girl, and a Huge Desert Eagle. Wednesdays on ABC!

OR

When Mal was on his medication, he was known to do strange things. Like apply Inara's mascara to himself. The crew only really worried about it when he started using firearms to do it.

OR

Mal: See! Jayne's not the only one that can love a gun! I shall name her Darla and kiss her all the time! (smooch)

OR

Book had picked just the wrong moment to snap Mal's suspenders. The unfortunate person to Mal's left...Jayne...was not happy about the involuntary gunfire.

OR

Zoe(OS): You think we should tell him that the intercom mic is in his other hand?

Wash(OS): I think he'll figure it out for himself.

OR

In the background of this shot, the much ballyhooed "Chain of Command" swings to and fro.

OR

Mal: (Singing) It's not unusual to be loved by anyone!!!

Wash (OS): I understand the need for karaoke to boost morale, but couldn't he have afforded a real microphone?

OR

River: It doesn't mean what you think?

Mal: Looks like a big, honkin' gun to me...let's see, shall we?
(BLAM!)

I think I may be tapped out here...Love the picture though!

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006 8:15 AM

SICKDUDE

Mal: His name was Charles Gunn. Gunn. Why on Earth-That-Was would a nun work for a vampire anyway?
River, muttering: Your voice is in my head, but still you mumble....
Mal: Now do you want to finish hearing about the second show from the greatest man ever, or not so much?!

"I am your father, Luke. Give in to the Dark Side, you nob!" - Doug McKenzie

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006 8:32 AM

CHOO1701

Mal: remeber. NO. SHOTTING. CREW.
River: except jayne?
Mal; uh....good piont.

or

River: Captain, what does an orifice does?
Mal:....
River: see, told ya i could make him look like that.

and

When it came to explaining the birds and the bees, Mal was just plain crap at it...

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006 1:12 PM

SICKDUDE

Quote:
When it came to explaining the birds and the bees, Mal was just plain crap at it...

ROTFL!

"I am your father, Luke. Give in to the Dark Side, you nob!" - Doug McKenzie

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006 2:01 PM

THEGREYJEDI

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

After taking a wookie kick to the crotch, all Mal could do is stand there and meep quietly.

--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
http://www.cafepress.com/thegreyjedi

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006 2:29 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Mal: Listen, if you want to get yerself killed, don't drag us into another fight with Reavers. Instead, take one of these and put your lips around the end of the barrel like this and--
River: *snicker*

BWAH!

TCM

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006 2:49 PM

GRAYALBATROSS

Mal: *Whooooo*, and, you see, that's the sound that the bullets make when they go through the air, and then you repeat the process...

Inara:......?

OR

Mal: WOOT! It's a gun!

***
When in doubt, consult the hamster.

Also, I can kill you with my brain

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006 3:18 PM

SAB39

River: Take me sir, take me hard.
Mal: !

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006 3:20 PM

BIONICBATMAN

OOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Shiny gun. Dont worry River its not loaded.

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006 5:48 PM

FLORALBUNNY

courtesy of manwithpez:
Nathan (Singing): Take my gun...From my hand...Pistol-whip me where I stand...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*the bun falls about, giggling*

And now -- an entry:
MAL: Okay, listen up -- the next one of you
cheatin' at Rock - Paper - Scissors is not
gonna get off so easy as you have been, dong ma?

bun
~Bastards rooked my turtle~

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006 6:17 PM

PUMAMANREDUX

Mal found out the hard way that guns do not make good musical instruments.

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006 9:37 PM

CUNNINGORANGETOQUE

MAL:"When i said no touching jayne's guns, i meant no firearms! Go ahead and do what you want with his 'guns'..."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Creator of "THE OTHER SHINY CAPTION GAME"!
www.livejournal.com/users/the_zeppo01
Time for some thrilling heroics!
poor_noel2@hotmail.com

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Thursday, November 30, 2006 6:37 AM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Mal: Sooooooo not a Cuisinart, understand?
River: She understands, she doesn't chop and blend...

OR

Mal was reintroducing Rock-Paper-Scissors
to the 'Verse with a modern touch as
Closed Fist-Sword-Gun

{fabric: here's my theory, Sword (pointer finger) beats Fist(looks like rock), Gun (pointer finger & thumb like a gun)beats Sword, Fist beats Gun (disarming)...sound like fun? Teach it to all Browncoats! Firefly RPS...err...FSG. Of course, you can add flare by saying "BWAH!" when you throw Gun, "Hi-larious" or "Saw that comin'" when you throw Fist and "Do you know what your sin is?" when you throw Sword...or not!}

BWAH!

TCM

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Thursday, November 30, 2006 4:47 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

River: ...you're now the proud owner of the most powerful handgun in the 'Verse. The End.
Mal: Whoa. Good Manual.

BWAH!

TCM

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Thursday, November 30, 2006 8:46 PM

CHOO1701

Mal: okay Jayne, lets try this, YOU can have this shiny pistol and i can have Inara, River, Zoe and ...er...Wash??? Oh, and the mind control drug. That sound like a good deal?
Jayne: no...
Mal: well....uh...

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Thursday, November 30, 2006 10:01 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER

Quote:
Originally posted by Choo1701:

Mal: Alright, li' Albatross...time to see if we can't get those hypnotic triggers outta that brain o' yours. Now then...you're getting sleepy...

River: Did the crying and vomit not make a clear enough sign for you? It did for Regan MacNeil...

Simon(OS): Wh...what does out mother have to do with this?!?

Literature has shown us some of humanity's greatest achievements; history, some of our greatest failures -- Alun Lewis

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