Imponderable Water Cooler- no rest for the wicked by msg

!!!

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Monday, February 26, 2007 11:54 AM

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

ARRRGHH!

EDIT: Forwarding end of last post.

Quote:
Originally posted by Rhyianan:
Thanks, Zeek, you seem to be the only one that truly answered my question ?!?, even if it wasn't the answer I wanted. I guess I must really go to an atypical school then, because last year I was in the co-ed dorm and there was absolutely none of that kind of thing, unlike bf's (which was also a co-ed dorm, in the section that actually had more girls rooms than guys).

Now to do something I never do: quote Buffy.
"All men are beasts, Buffy." - Faith (Then see all the anti-manbashing senitments in the previous thread. No wonder this relationship stuff gets so complicated! Who you gonna believe?)

As for guys in dorms. Subhuman species. I know I was one too. Not jest Zeek. Luckily we grew out of it. At least I did. At least I think I did.

"Well, here I am...Does that seem right to you?"

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Monday, February 26, 2007 12:12 PM

ZEEK

Quote:
Originally posted by Rhyianan:
Thanks, Zeek, you seem to be the only one that truly answered my question, even if it wasn't the answer I wanted. I guess I must really go to an atypical school then, because last year I was in the co-ed dorm and there was absolutely none of that kind of thing, unlike bf's (which was also a co-ed dorm, in the section that actually had more girls rooms than guys).

So, now comes the next question. Are you really upset with the guys or something else? My guess is you had a very different picture of how this weekend would go in your head. I know when things go extremely different from what I had in mind I get very on edge. As MsG said it also probably didn't help that your bf wasn't defending you.

Basically in the future I would suggest convincing your bf to visit you. Then you can show him what you expected.

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Monday, February 26, 2007 12:12 PM

RUGBUG

Quote:
Originally posted by JonnyQuest:
(Then see all the anti-manbashing senitments in the previous thread.)

As for guys in dorms. Subhuman species. I know I was one too. Not jest Zeek. Luckily we grew out of it. At least I did. At least I think I did.

Oh, JQ. Women are evil too. We're just subtle about it. Leering and such isn't usually our game, but it's not below us. Put enough of us together in a room whereleering is acceptable, mix in some alcohol and watch us cut loose.

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Monday, February 26, 2007 12:25 PM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE

Quote:
Women are evil too. We're just subtle about it.

This, combined with the fact that I seem to have missed the class in middle school where they taught girls how to interact with other girls (I think I was off playing D&D with the boys, lol), explains why I have such trouble starting and maintaining friendships with women. Guys are so much easier to read!

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Monday, February 26, 2007 12:28 PM

*buddies up with CaliforniaKaylee*

I'll be your friend! I hate the bitchiness too. It's just so wearing.

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Monday, February 26, 2007 12:38 PM

RUGBUG

Quote:
Originally posted by DesktopHippie:
*buddies up with CaliforniaKaylee*

I'll be your friend! I hate the bitchiness too. It's just so wearing.

Oh, I'm not a fan of the bitchiness, either. But subtlety comes in many forms... For instance, we can check out someone without them having a clue or making them feel uncomfortable.

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Monday, February 26, 2007 12:45 PM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE

Aww, thanks DTH! Sometimes I don't even make it as far as the bitchiness. Seriously, I know guys who are better at talking to women than I am! I really feel like I missed a class at some point, because it feels like every other woman my age knows how to read body language of other women, understands what sort of eye contact is acceptable, etc. I think that's one of the reasons I'm so much better at talking to women online, particularly on message boards or email lists -- I'm even somewhat awkward on IM with women, because I'm never sure if I'm being too friendly or not friendly enough, in a one-on-one situation like that.

The other part of it is maintaining friendships with women, and the problem there is that it just doesn't occur to me to contact my female friends (or potential friends) often. Guys are fine with that, they'll pick right back up the next time you see them, but a lot of the gals I've known over the years just sort of drift away if I don't contact them often enough. The only girlfriends I've managed to stay friends with are the three who are fine with months going by between when we talk, and years going by between when we see each other.

Hanging out with guys seems to be my natural state of being. I work mostly with guys, I like guy-things (particularly video games!), I like talking about the sorts of things guys like talking about, and I'm utterly lost when talking to girls about "girl things" (at New Years I got stuck in an excruciating conversation with one of hubby's co-worker's fiancée, about her bridesmaids dresses! yek!).

The funny thing about all of this is that about a month ago, I met a woman who is about my same age, works in a similar field, and has always been 'one of the guys', just like me. I really like hanging out with her (she's my official "Favorite New Person of 2007", and yes I do have one of those every year), but I've been worried about coming off too strong. Hubby and I went to a party at her and her boyfriend's place a few weeks ago, and we ended up having a conversation about how we are both like this -- we have no idea how to talk to women, and we were both worried about coming on too strong. Oh, and while looking at her DVD collection I discovered she's a Browncoat!

So yeah, I'm trying to work on it, I'd really like to be good friends with her, but trying to start a friendship with a woman gives me butterflies in my stomach the way that dating guys almost never did (ok, a couple of weeks there at the beginning with hubby, but things clicked for us pretty quickly).

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Monday, February 26, 2007 12:45 PM

ZEEK

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
For instance, we can check out someone without them having a clue or making them feel uncomfortable.

Assuming you're straight then why would we ever feel uncomfortable? We take it as a great compliment.

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Monday, February 26, 2007 12:46 PM

*checks out Jonny subtly without him having a clue or making him uncomfortable*

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Monday, February 26, 2007 12:47 PM

RHYIANAN

Quote:
Originally posted by Zeek:
Quote:
Originally posted by Rhyianan:
Thanks, Zeek, you seem to be the only one that truly answered my question, even if it wasn't the answer I wanted. I guess I must really go to an atypical school then, because last year I was in the co-ed dorm and there was absolutely none of that kind of thing, unlike bf's (which was also a co-ed dorm, in the section that actually had more girls rooms than guys).

So, now comes the next question. Are you really upset with the guys or something else? My guess is you had a very different picture of how this weekend would go in your head. I know when things go extremely different from what I had in mind I get very on edge. As MsG said it also probably didn't help that your bf wasn't defending you.

Basically in the future I would suggest convincing your bf to visit you. Then you can show him what you expected.

Actually, this visit was because he was complaining that I never visit him, he's always coming to see me. And yes, I did have a very different picture in my head. I expected college students up there to behave somewhat similar to college students at my school. I knew it would be awkward, I knew I would already be on edge because I hate being around people I don't know (I'm actually very shy). I didn't expect to be treated as a sex object (because I'm obviously taken), nor did I expect everyone to be interested in stopping by to meet (or leer at) me. However, I knew if something happened, bf would just stand there and see how I did on my own, because that's how he is when his family makes fun of me.

I just realized that this really paints bf in a bad light, because he isn't that way at all. He really was a bit of a buffer between me and them, just not as much as he could have been.
I will say that the friends of his that I met outside the dorm were very nice and I enjoyed meeting them immensely, it was just his neighbors and roommate that I had issues with.

I'm a leaf on the wind

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Monday, February 26, 2007 1:01 PM

Rhyianan- yeah I'd just set some ground rules for the next visit and tell him if you're uncomfortable you expect him to stick up for you and what that looks like to you (it'll really avoid confusion and ugly feelings) I've never know a guy to mind a girl telling him what she likes/expects...they mind if you tell them what to do ( but almost everyone minds that) but not if you tell them how you like things or what your expectations are. Then they don't feel clueless and frustrated and you don't feel angry and all:)

CK- I don't really get the girl thing either. I've been forced to get better at it because of being a teacher, but it's still weird...like the screaming/squealing. What is with that? Why can't they just express pleasure like a normal person. Why must they shriek and jump? It's really annoying.

Anyway folks, I am of to tutor:) see you tomorrow

"I'm not all that interested in the mental health of people who want to kill me. "- Leroy Jethro Gibbs

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Monday, February 26, 2007 1:07 PM

CK - I get that way when I go to night clubs, or in any social situation like that. I never went to clubs as a teen. I was bookish, painfully shy and a total geek, so it just didn't happen. Now whenever I'm at a party I panic that I'm being unspeakably awkward or doing something wrong. Hence I don't go to clubs much!

Rhyianan - listen to MSG, for she is wise.

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Monday, February 26, 2007 1:31 PM

HELL'S KITTEN

Quote:
Originally posted by CaliforniaKaylee:
{everything you wrote}

You sound like me.
Only... in California instead of Minnesota.
And this isn't the first time, either... Hmmmmmmmmm.......

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Monday, February 26, 2007 2:13 PM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

I see MSG's "Winnie the Pooh" and I raise her with "boobies".

*snicker, snicker, snort snort*

*FMF runs back behind the barricade as people start glomping her again*

----
Bestower of Titles, Designer of Tshirts, Maker of Mottos, Keeper of the Pyre

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

FORSAKEN original

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Monday, February 26, 2007 2:49 PM

PENGUIN

King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa

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Monday, February 26, 2007 2:50 PM

(Jumps in front of FMF all human shield like)

Its all good FMF. Just glad to see ya 'round these parts.

This "social anxiety" thing really caught my eye. I never felt at home in a crowd or at a party. Seems I've played babysitter and bullet catcher way too long. I can't have fun in a crowd. That's why I don't do good at meat markets. Too many agenda's floating around. The body language is too threatening. When people can't display normal body language in a group I get nervous. Any display of machismo in a crowd makes me nervous. Crowds of people hiding the truth make me nervous.

The fella that taught me alot about working crowds was alot like Denzel Washington in Man On Fire. Like him I was taught that bullets only know the truth. They can't lie. Just like people. No matter how good of liars they think they are, there is always some truth to be told about their body language, their tone, cadence, or even the proximity of their "communication"

Question for y'all. I've noticed that the women I persue are usually in some sort of need of help. I don't even know them well enough to know what is happening in their lives and still I latch on or vice versa. Are there any tips I can follow as not to paint myself in a corner? I've pretty much established that any woman I find myself attracted to should be approached with a bit of caution. But honestly, there might have been too much caution taken in the recent past.

Just thought I'd ask some of my favorite people what they think.

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Monday, February 26, 2007 3:21 PM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

NV - stay away from the needy! Thats all I am saying.

I have a stupid questione. I had a friend (male) when I was 19 (he was 27ish) - nothing between us, just good friends. (He was soft on a friend of mine at the time) He would show up at my house at 1 am and wake me up to go for coffee, and once when I was sick he sat by my bed while I slept for hours. Anyway, we lost touch and I think I have found him. I knew he had gotten married and such - question is should I send him a letter saying hi and if so, what do I say. I mean wouldn't it be a bit weird?

----
Bestower of Titles, Designer of Tshirts, Maker of Mottos, Keeper of the Pyre

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

FORSAKEN original

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Monday, February 26, 2007 3:38 PM

But FMF, everyone needs something.

I just hate feeling like I'm needed more than wanted.

Honestly FMF, why shouldn't you at least say hi. I'd do the same if given the chance. There have been a few friends of the opposite sex I'd like to at least find out how they've been for the last few years. I heard that on might have died late last year. Others have had kids, married, divorced, remarried... Small bit of regret there, but that's the way life is.

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Monday, February 26, 2007 3:50 PM

HELL'S KITTEN

Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:
Question for y'all. I've noticed that the women I persue are usually in some sort of need of help. I don't even know them well enough to know what is happening in their lives and still I latch on or vice versa. Are there any tips I can follow as not to paint myself in a corner?

Be different? (I don't mean that to be flippant, so I'll quickly continue...)

In your own words: "Most of my life tends to lead toward what I need rather than what I want. I need to feel neccessary. I need to feel important. I need to be needed. Thats the life of a codependant." (two Imponderable H2O Cooler threads ago)

The desire to feel needed is not uncommon, and it's very easy to identify that desire in other people, be it conscious or subconscious. Moth, flame, etc.

It's possibly the degree to which you take it, that could be causing you trouble. You've already identified yourself as a submissive co-dependent, and thereby locked yourself into the role. The only way out is to not be that way.

That doesn't mean to give up your beliefs about how you think women should be treated or to change who you are at your core, it just means that you have to make the conscious decision to change your goals from being needed to being wanted.

Being "needed" fosters continued co-dependence. If the other person isn't at your level of co-dependence, their desires will inevitably be fulfilled and you will remain Temporary.

Being "wanted" promotes mutual appreciation via deliberate choice. It promotes healthy independence of each person involved. When you are comfortable with your independence and able to be alone, the bonds you build with another like-minded person will be stronger, as the relationship will not be based on deficit.

(Of course, it's quite possible that I'm out of my fing mind.)

I hope I explained myself clearly....

...

On a different note: I've been told on several occassions that I have contradictory body language. (Yes, as in my arms say yes but my feet say no.) Ha ha. I can read other people, it seems, but I can't seem to mimick accepted Western body language. It must be my robot brain.

************************************************
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sara013

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Monday, February 26, 2007 4:03 PM

http://www.myspace.com/muddy_waters

(Taps robot brain with nearest rock)

Me get what you say.

Is it entirely possible that my memory is so screwed that I couldn't remember posting what you quoted until reading it over twice? As for the not being that way, I've been burned and left irradiated for trying to get what I want rather than what I need. But it was a burn that lingers so I've found little need to seek a want. 'Guess the scars are healin' 'cause it seems the primative side takes over from time to time.

Either that or I've been comfortable with solitude too long and hunger for that like minded person.

Out for the night. Goodnight all.

(Wanders into the evening pondering upon the words of a Ninja Kitty with the Robot Brain)

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 12:11 AM

ODDSBODSKINS

Stopping in, wanted to say something before I kip.

Mostly it has some stuff to do with how there's still aways to go towards equality, women are only equal if they come onto male turf, so to speak, it hasn't changed the perception of gender roles an' all.

But...Too tired to make a cogent point about it all, and work in a response to NVG's wonderings. I could say 'stay away from the needy ones' and it'd be good advice, but, condescending, conceited and redundant as well, so I think that'd be less then useful.

not sure what the rest of the topic said any more, I'm channeling the Goldfish you see? but i figure, when i wake up, it should still be going in the same vein, I can work out what I meant to say now, and hammer it into a new slot ^^

Do you like bread?

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 12:21 AM

HOBBLEIT

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:

Women are evil too. We're just subtle about it.

Yeah I find women to be very evil. I hate bitchiness personally that's why all my friends are male.

******************************

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 1:02 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Oddsbodskins:
Stopping in, wanted to say something before I kip.

Mostly it has some stuff to do with how there's still aways to go towards equality, women are only equal if they come onto male turf, so to speak, it hasn't changed the perception of gender roles an' all.

I get what you're saying, Odds. Had a similar discussion in a thead about Gender in sci-fi (questions for am upcoming panel on the subject.) I pointed out that quite a number of writers don't bother to write strong women characters so much as male women characters. I'm not saying women in traditional male roles aren't fun to explore, but often there's no exploration of what makes someone in a traditionally weak role strong. In other words we get Buffy and Zoe on lots of shows, but almost no Willows, Inaras, Freds, Joyces or Kaylees.

It just seems like a shortcut to me. Want a stong female character? Write her as a man. Boom. Strong woman. And it happens in real life too. You're only considered a strong, modern, emancipated woman if you're doing something your great-great grandmother wasn't allowed to do as it was "men's work." We have the freedoms, but the respect is sorely lacking.

My opinion anyway. Little feminist me

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 2:40 AM

RIVERISMYGODDESS

mornin' Imponderables.

Quote:
Originally posted by Hell's Kitten:
Quote:
Originally posted by CaliforniaKaylee:
{everything you wrote}
You sound like me.
Only... in California instead of Minnesota.
And this isn't the first time, either... Hmmmmmmmmm.......

Ah! A possible clue as to the true identity of HK.

I get a half day of training after lunch today, which will essentially be naptime, as it is useless stuff. Also we have wild hog BBQ today, which is starting to make the entire office smell shiny as I type this.

~jimi
SFC Alexander, Chief Medic for the 76th Indepentent Army Battalion
In the beginning the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry and is widely considered as a bad move.

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 3:57 AM

MAVOURNEEN

Good Morning, Everyone!

Wow. A lot happened in the threads after I was so cruelly abducted from work yesterday by my sister. Abducted and forced to sit in the MVA for over 2 hours to get 5 minutes in front of a mean woman in order to title and register my new car.

On the bright side...we saw a woman at the MVA sooo stupid she got thrown out after pitching a fit in front of the police officer. Turns out she didn't realize that big sign that said "TAKE A NUMBER AND SIT DOWN" applied to her...so she waited for several hours before freaking out!

"I'm sorry, ma'am. You are too ignorant to drive. Your license is revoked."

It was most humorous, and we enjoyed seeing her stupidity on display.

I need to go back and reread HK's response to NV. I think there was some goodness there. That, and a long CK post.

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 4:05 AM

RIVERISMYGODDESS

* hands Mavs a mug of The Good Stuff *

mornin' Mavs.

Yay for stupid people in public, and I certainly agree that licenses should be revoked for stupidity. :)

~jimi
SFC Alexander, Chief Medic for the 76th Indepentent Army Battalion
In the beginning the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry and is widely considered as a bad move.

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 5:02 AM

HUGS FMF while her back is turned:)

NV- I'd say look for a strong woman who doesn't need anyone. Once you get further along in the relationship and she learns she can rely on you, she will start needing your support just like you'll need hers... That's the best I've got. If you look for someone who already needs you, then you're in the wrong place and that's all you'll get. Strong women who don't " need" anyone can learn to lean on someone, but are strong enough not to do it constantly and to let someone lean back when they need to:)

OK trying to mentally gear up. It's parent teacher conferences today and tomorrow. Which means I will be here from 7:30 am to 8:00pm both days and then Thursday has my late night tutoring until 10pm...Luckily I have Friday off:) On the upside though, I get paid Friday and we're having a book fair this week so I can buy tons of books and enjoy them as I curl up on Friday ( after I go shopping for new shoes and bath and body works new lemon collection)

"I'm not all that interested in the mental health of people who want to kill me. "- Leroy Jethro Gibbs

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 5:06 AM

RIVERISMYGODDESS

mornin' MsG.

Good luck with the parents, I am assuming that some of them can be as bad as or worse than the kids sometimes.

~jimi
SFC Alexander, Chief Medic for the 76th Indepentent Army Battalion
In the beginning the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry and is widely considered as a bad move.

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 5:08 AM

MAVOURNEEN

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
( after I go shopping for new shoes

Speaking of which.... did you watch or tivo Heroes last night? About halfway through there was a commercial for a Chrysler Sebring where the woman steps out of the car and she is wearing the most amazing heels! I actually stoppped the tv, backed it up, and admired the shoes for several long seconds until Husband cleared his throat very loudly and my Inner Imelda Marcos went back inside.

But they were pretty spiffy high heels, msg.

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 5:26 AM

REDLAVA

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:

I have a stupid questione. I had a friend (male) when I was 19 (he was 27ish) - nothing between us, just good friends. (He was soft on a friend of mine at the time) He would show up at my house at 1 am and wake me up to go for coffee, and once when I was sick he sat by my bed while I slept for hours. Anyway, we lost touch and I think I have found him. I knew he had gotten married and such - question is should I send him a letter saying hi and if so, what do I say. I mean wouldn't it be a bit weird?

A similar thing just happened to me. An ex-girlfriend of mine from high school e-mailed me on Myspace a month ago. Caught me by surprise, and actually I was happy to hear from her. We'll probably go out for coffee the next time I am home and catch up.

The real kicker is that she is filing for divorce about the same time that she got in touch with me. So it is a fairly odd situation. Not sure where any of this is going, but the untrained psychologist in me doesn't think this is a coincidence.

So I say go for it. Not sure what format you found him in, myspace or whatever. But I say go for it. Maybe he has been wondering about you as well. The worst that could happen is that he doesn't return your message.

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 5:28 AM

RUGBUG

Quote:
Originally posted by Oddsbodskins:
women are only equal if they come onto male turf, so to speak, it hasn't changed the perception of gender roles an' all.

But...Too tired to make a cogent point about it all

Too tired? Not so much. You managed to succinctly make a point I tried to a thread or so back...and failed. Three cheers for Odds.

And then DTH comes in with some beautiful points of her own.

Ah, happy shiny morning!

(oh, and from the last thread...just had to put it out there...I LOVE the burnt orange cars. I think they're fun. I almost got my Wrangler in burnt orange. 'Twas a toss up between yellow, red and orange. Oddly, if the red had been an orange-red, I would've gone another way. But the red is blue-red and I just couldn't say no to red. That is all. Just alienating myself from the group a little more....

)

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 5:48 AM

Rugbug- Mine's inferno red so I know what you mean

Mav- missed the shoes, but there was a circular from DSW that sucked me right on in...need more shoes:)

RIMG- well if the parents show up that is. Mostly for me Parent Teacher is a night of cleaning my room ,preping for the next few weeks, etc. because the good parents I have see me enough already what with meetings and all and the bad ones don't care so I hardly have any parents at all. My average for the 2 days is 9 parents.

"I'm not all that interested in the mental health of people who want to kill me. "- Leroy Jethro Gibbs

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 6:44 AM

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

Sorry for the length...

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
Oh, JQ. Women are evil too. We're just subtle about it. Leering and such isn't usually our game, but it's not below us. Put enough of us together in a room whereleering is acceptable, mix in some alcohol and watch us cut loose.

Just let me know where and when to set up the hidden camera and sound equipment…

Quote:
But subtlety comes in many forms... For instance, we can check out someone without them having a clue or making them feel uncomfortable.

Quote:
Originally posted by Zeek:
Assuming you're straight then why would we ever feel uncomfortable? We take it as a great compliment.

Maybe we really know you’re checking us out and we’re just arrogant or self-absorbed enough to let you ‘cause WE LIKES IT!

Quote:
Originally posted by DesktopHippie:
*checks out Jonny subtly without him having a clue or making him uncomfortable*

JQ whistles into the air “not realizing” he’s being checked out; enjoys every frakin’ second of it*

Quote:
Originally posted by CaliforniaKaylee:
The funny thing about all of this is that about a month ago, I met a woman who is about my same age, works in a similar field, and has always been 'one of the guys', just like me. I really like hanging out with her (she's my official "Favorite New Person of 2007", and yes I do have one of those every year), but I've been worried about coming off too strong. Hubby and I went to a party at her and her boyfriend's place a few weeks ago, and we ended up having a conversation about how we are both like this -- we have no idea how to talk to women, and we were both worried about coming on too strong. Oh, and while looking at her DVD collection I discovered she's a Browncoat! So yeah, I'm trying to work on it, I'd really like to be good friends with her, but trying to start a friendship with a woman gives me butterflies in my stomach the way that dating guys almost never did (ok, a couple of weeks there at the beginning with hubby, but things clicked for us pretty quickly).

Advice, unsolicited but free (probably the same as if it were a dating a guy question): Relax and enjoy it for as long as it lasts. If it’s a real friendship in the making, it will self-correct its course as you go. Don’t waste time and energy perplexing over it. ENJOY, ENJOY, ENJOY. Especially if she’s a true Browncoat: she’s just naturally going to be shiny and glommable.

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
I see MSG's "Winnie the Pooh" and I raise her with "boobies".
*snicker, snicker, snort snort*

I see FMF’s “boobies” and…and…*faints dead away*
Gorrammit, what is it about Southern women?

Quote:
I have a stupid question. I had a friend (male) when I was 19 (he was 27ish) - nothing between us, just good friends. (He was soft on a friend of mine at the time) He would show up at my house at 1 am and wake me up to go for coffee, and once when I was sick he sat by my bed while I slept for hours. Anyway, we lost touch and I think I have found him. I knew he had gotten married and such - question is should I send him a letter saying hi and if so, what do I say. I mean wouldn't it be a bit weird?

I have a stupid question. Why not? You’re single so there’s no “secret lover” issues to be bothered about. Sounds like a wonderful guy. What do you have to lose?

Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:
Question for y'all. I've noticed that the women I persue are usually in some sort of need of help.

Please read this slowly and take it in word for word. Then if it sounds like b

t to you, you know what to do with it. NVG, I think you know me well enough by now that I think the world of you. I know about the need to be needed. I know you love to help, might even feel it’s your purpose in life. I’m betting you think people are actually put in your path just so you can help them out somehow. Nothing wrong with any of that. My point is merely this. Maybe some of those people are there for someone else to help. You just have a knack for “firsties” in these cases. That might be because you are looking for them, maybe unconsciously. Maybe, every once in a while you just need not to be the one. Maybe they are supposed to need someone else. Let someone else have a chance to do good.

Quote:
Originally posted by Hell's Kitten: Much good advice. *JQ mildly surprised and not at all surprised at the same time. HK in becoming heartless no doubt has much background from which to draw; the candor and implied vulnerability is what raised the eyebrow. Rethinks yet again his opinion about the heart of the heartless*

Quote:
Originally posted by Hell's Kitten:
In your own words: NVG quote (two Imponderable H2O Cooler threads ago)

*Notes HK also has quote file. Scratches chin thoughtfully.*

Quote:
Originally posted by Hell's Kitten:
On a different note: I've been told on several occassions that I have contradictory body language. (Yes, as in my arms say yes but my feet say no.) Ha ha. I can read other people, it seems, but I can't seem to mimic accepted Western body language. It must be my robot brain.

*JQ ponders HK’s Body Language. Draws inadvertent parallel to photo posting: safe exhibitionism. “I want to be a free spirit with all my heart but the world is dangerous and doesn’t let me. My camera becomes my Looking Glass and my name becomes Alice.” (Of course, it's quite possible that I'm mad as a fing hatter.) “I want my arms to be wings and I’d fly away, but my feet are grounded and I shall not.”

Quote:
Originally posted by Mavourneen:
Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
( after I go shopping for new shoes

Speaking of which.... did you watch or tivo Heroes last night? About halfway through there was a commercial for a Chrysler Sebring where the woman steps out of the car and she is wearing the most amazing heels! I actually stoppped the tv, backed it up, and admired the shoes for several long seconds until Husband cleared his throat very loudly and my Inner Imelda Marcos went back inside.
But they were pretty spiffy high heels, msg.

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
Mav- missed the shoes, but there was a circular from DSW that sucked me right on in...need more shoes:)

You two scare me in ways I cannot even discuss…

"Well, here I am...Does that seem right to you?"

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 6:51 AM

COPILOT

Okay imponderables I'm back for a short bit. I need some advice also I missed you guys. So here's the sitch. 4 years ago when I first met my FSO I moved with him very quickly. Really before I knew him. When I moved I met his best friend we hit it off immediatly. We were the same age and had similar historys (FSO was 8 years older and a different as night and day from me). Well on and off for about a year we would hang out and get dangeriously close to other things but we never did. Now I've been e-mailing him for about a week and he still lives decently close. Well for the problem I've thought about him a lot in the past few years. Should I see if there's still something there?
~LOVE

An I carried such a torch

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 7:03 AM

Happen to check the board to see Copilot drop in. Heya, wassup? (Looks up) Oh, it seems we have another "Someone from my past" question today.

What's the saying? Do not put off 'til tomorrow what could be done today. Not saying that something HAS to be done, but decide to do something. I think you probably already have so choose the nearest time to do it. HUGZ.

I'm glad to see so many looking out for themselves lately. Let's be happy folks!

I deeply appreciate the input all of you have given and hope everyone a super shiny day.

Time to work. Hooray!

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 7:35 AM

Copilot- Hey sweety good to see you. How is everything? You know I'd say go for it. If you guy s have a spark then it's great to know that and see if you can build on it. Life is too short to waste with missed opportunities because you weren't sure:) What's the worst that can happen? He says no...big deal. Then you know for sure and you're not left wondering what if. Best case is he's really interested and you find a great SO and wouldn't you just kick yourself if you missed out on that? HUGS

"I'm not all that interested in the mental health of people who want to kill me. "- Leroy Jethro Gibbs

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 8:05 AM

Funny thing just happened (it actually took awhlie with my slow 'puter.) I open a message from a coworker and there happens to be a link to her Myspace page. Who should I find on her friends list but...

She Who Shall Not Be Named.

Now, I ain't one to flame. And I ain't one to start shit. But I am one to burn shit down and finish it.

Just a little psychotic venting. How in the sphincter of hell does she keep getting to me?

So Charlie Brown getting the football pulled away from him.

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 8:16 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Quote:
Originally posted by JonnyQuest:
Sorry for the length...
Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
I see MSG's "Winnie the Pooh" and I raise her with "boobies".
*snicker, snicker, snort snort*

I see FMF’s “boobies” and…and…*faints dead away*
Gorrammit, what is it about Southern women?

OOOh I love a man prostrate at me feet! *FMF snickers wickedly*

Oh and I see his faint and raise with a "panties"

----
Bestower of Titles, Designer of Tshirts, Maker of Mottos, Keeper of the Pyre

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

FORSAKEN original

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 8:16 AM

HELL'S KITTEN

Quote:
Originally posted by JonnyQuest:
Quote:
Originally posted by Hell's Kitten: Much good advice. *JQ mildly surprised and not at all surprised at the same time. HK in becoming heartless no doubt has much background from which to draw; the candor and implied vulnerability is what raised the eyebrow. Rethinks yet again his opinion about the heart of the heartless*

Your seemingly continual attempt to analyze me using your flawed, presumptuous, internet pseudo-psychology is really starting to piss me off.
Could you please stop?

Quote:
Quote:
Originally posted by Hell's Kitten:
In your own words: NVG quote (two Imponderable H2O Cooler threads ago)
*Notes HK also has quote file. Scratches chin thoughtfully.*

Yes.
It's called fireflyfans.net
Not all that difficult to find....
*looks around*

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 8:42 AM

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

Quote:
Originally posted by Mavourneen:
Time to put my big girl panties on and just deal with it.

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
Oh and I see his faint and raise with a "panties"

New thought bubble. Mavs, FMF and ?

"Well, here I am...Does that seem right to you?"

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 8:47 AM

Ok you two scare me ( Jonny and HK :)

NV- it's like a bad penny...it keeps turning up... in the grand tradition of Monty Python ...RUN AWAY!!

FMF- I'll see your panties and raise you a corset and garter belt... : evil:

"I'm not all that interested in the mental health of people who want to kill me. "- Leroy Jethro Gibbs

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 8:54 AM

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

Quote:
Originally posted by Hell's Kitten:
Your seemingly continual attempt to analyze me using your flawed, presumptuous, internet pseudo-psychology is really starting to piss me off.
Could you please stop?

*skitters off to wail inconsolably in a dark corner under the porch*

"Well, here I am...Does that seem right to you?"

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 8:57 AM

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
FMF- I'll see your panties and raise you a corset and garter belt... : evil:

Somehow I just knew you'd come through for me, my Quest-yon mark.

Hee hee!! Don't mind mee!! I'm just scaree!!

"Well, here I am...Does that seem right to you?"

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 9:06 AM

Only problem MSG is I wanna rub tha penny 'til it shines. Where's Mav's and her fricken bricks? I don't think "She" is trying to get my attention, but a couple a good whacks to the head might help, even if only a little.

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 9:09 AM

MAVOURNEEN

Ask and ye shall receive:

And here's the slap you need (with love, though...)

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 9:15 AM

Gosh, that was quick.

Here's the issue. I've never lusted after someone before. As for "She", I'm pretty much over it, but that may be the first time I ever have. I really hope it is the last 'cause there's no tellin' how F'ed up things could possibly get in another situation.

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 9:17 AM

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

Quote:
Originally posted by Mavourneen:
Ask and ye shall receive:

These are hysterical!

EDIT: NVG, SWSNBN (think I got that right) was just a coincidence this time. You know the stuff we use for eye-wash around here? Sprinkle it liberally all over your brain. Erase the memory. Eyes forward. Focus...focus...steady...steady...

Got 'im!!

"Well, here I am...Does that seem right to you?"

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007 9:26 AM